And I Cry Over the Love of You
by ICraveYou
Summary: When Clarissa Morgenstern meets Jace Herondale, it feels like there is some connection between them from the very first moment... But life isn't easy when one has an older brother who is way too overprotective. But not even Jonathan's jealousy can keep them apart and there are worse things surfacing - secrets are being unraveled and a darkness is coming that threatens all of them.
1. Brother & Sister

_Before reading this story, I would like to point out that this is playing in **a complete AU (= alternate universe)**. This means that there will be quite a few changes to the actual story of TMI, just like there'll be certain changes in some of the relationships and past events, which I will not tell you yet or else I would spoil it for you._

_The most important changes for you to know at the moment are that Clary grew up in Idris with her parents and her big brother. She grew up as a Shadowhunter and acts like one. The circle NEVER existed and there'd never been an uprising, which means that Stephen Herondale lived. Jace grew up with his parents as a Herondale - he had a good childhood which much love in it. Does that change his character? A bit, certainly. But is he still the sassy, sarcastic idiot all of us love so much? Of course!_

_Another change I'd like to point out now is that Stephen was also never married to Amatis Graymark - the only woman he ever married was Celine. Also, Lucian and Jocelyn's friendship didn't happen like in the books either. I love Luke, but at this point he doesn't really fit into the story, though that doesn't mean that he won't be in it. I'm just not sure right now. Either way, he and Jocelyn are not as close as they were in the books. Jocelyn is happily married to Valentine - or so it seems at least._

_So, does that mean Valentine is one of the good ones? He might not have created the Circle, but that doesn't mean he might not have done other bad things. To find that out, you'll just have to read the story._

**Also, if you read this story, please leave a review! It's only encouraging to continue a story if I know what readers are thinking about it. I will try to update this as often as possible, but since I probably won't have time to write on it every day, it might take at least 2 - 4 weeks for me to update. Just in case you'll wonder sometime why it could take me long to update.**

If you have made it through the explanation until now - thank you! And now, here's the first chapter.

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**Chapter 1 » Brother & Sister**  
"You need to aim a little higher... Just a bit higher... Yeah. That's good. That's perfect, actually. Now try. . ."

She pulled the string of her crossbow and pointed at the target, then she let go of it and the arrow flew... Though it missed its target – the black circle inside a larger white circle – only by a few inches, she was disappointed with herself. She'd tried to hit that target a lot of times now but she just couldn't.

Still her brother smiled at her approvingly. "That was amazing. I think you're getting even better with each shot you make. You will be excellent with the bow and arrow in the end, you'll see."

Clarissa Morgenstern just shook her head doubtfully. "I'm not sure," she confessed to Jonathan. "I think I like fighting with Seraph Blades a lot more."

Jonathan just laughed before nodding his head at her, now seeming almost proud of her. "That's my little sister. Of course you like fighting with Angel blades best. I wouldn't have expected anything different from you."

She grinned, looking up to her brother for a moment. Jonathan stood right behind her, his hands rested lightly on her waist. That didn't feel weird at all – they'd always touch while training, he'd show her how to hold a blade right in her hand, how to point a crossbow the right way at its target, trying to show her the exact movements so she would do it right.

They'd been training together ever since they were children. At first it had been their father who trained them; now, though, it was just Clarissa and Jonathan, training together. They were a perfect match of warriors, knowing each other's fighting technique almost as good as their own. Jonathan, who was just over a year older than her, was a bit stronger, a bit better at certain things than Clarissa. Though she moved as graceful and swift as a cat, while he fought with raw and vicious strength.

Clarissa loved spending time with her brother. In fact, he was not just her older brother – he felt like even more to her. He felt like he was her best friend. If it'd be possible to become _Parabatai _with relatives, Clary would have chosen Jonathan to be her _Parabatai _in a heartbeat.

Jonathan and Clarissa – who was called _Clary _by most people, since that was the nickname her mother had used for her since she'd been a little girl – had grown up in Idris with their parents, Valentine and Jocelyn. They lived in the old Fairchild manor house, the one Jocelyn had inherited from her parents after their death. Clary had never met her grandparents – they'd died even before Jonathan had been born, sometime when Jocelyn had been very young. Her mother barely talked about them, nor about her teenage years. Clary always figured that it just hurt too much, thinking about how she'd lost her parents at such a young age.

Clary had never been to anywhere else but Idris. She had grown up here, she'd lived in the home country of the Shadowhunters for over sixteen years now. She was still going to school and she would graduate in a little more than a year. What would happen after that, though, she wasn't sure about yet. Maybe she'd stay with her family in Idris a little longer. But perhaps she would travel the world, would go to one of the big cities like New York, London, Paris or Beijing, to one of the Institutes that were there. Clary had always been fascinated by traveling. She wanted to see the world, wanted to see different places.

She loved Idris, but Clary often felt like she needed to be somewhere else in the world. Like maybe she would find another home somewhere else out there. It wasn't a thought she shared with her family, though, not even with Jonathan. And most of the time Jonathan was the one Clary could tell _everything _to. He was the person she trusted the most. The person she loved the most in this world.

Still, she had secrets hidden even from him.

"So..." he said, his lips close to her ear, so she felt his breath brush her skin, when he reached around her to take the bow from her. "You wanna train some more with the blades, then?"

"Nah," she said, shaking her head. "There's still this assignment for school I have to work on. I need to get it done until the day after tomorrow and I think I'll better get started or I might never will." She grinned at her brother, who grinned back. "I could help you, if you want."

Jonathan always offered to help her – with everything. They spent a lot of time together, though sometimes Clary just liked to be alone. Sometimes she just wanted to be by herself and draw a little. That was one of her greatest talents, except for fighting, of course. Clary loved to get lost inside her own head, inside an imaginary world she'd build for herself and draw pictures about it. It seemed strange, still having so much imagination when one lived in a world in which Shadowhunters – beings of immense power, half angel, half human – demons and creatures like vampires, werewolves, fairies and warlocks existed. Though Clary loved creating her own stories, dreaming about an enchanted prince looking for her somewhere, about true love. . .

"Clary? Have you heard me?"

That happened a lot. Sometimes Clary would get lost inside her head, inside her thoughts and then she wouldn't even realize when people were talking to her. She looked up to her brother, blinking. "Sorry. I was just... thinking." she confessed, grinning sheepishly. "But no, you don't need to help me. I can get this done by myself."

Jonathan smiled at her, though for a moment there seemed something else in his eyes, something Clary couldn't quite make out. Before she could take a better look at her brother's expression, though, he seemed to have recovered himself. Maybe he'd just been disappointed that she didn't want his help. Jonathan didn't like it when Clary rejected him, she knew as much, but he didn't need to be there for her all the time.

"You've been lost inside your own world again, huh?"

"Well. Yeah. I guess."

Still smiling, Jonathan came over to her. He cupped her face in his hands and leaned closer to her, kissing the top of her head lightly. "You need to stay inside this world, Clary. This world is way too worse to be so careless and just disappear inside one's imagination. Someone could just steal you away from me and you would only notice when it is too late because you'd been too busy dreaming."

Laughing, Clary broke away from her brother. "Before that could happen, I'd wake up soon enough to kick them in the balls."

Now he was laughing, too, a melodic sound Clary always associated with feeling safe. With good memories. "I'm sure my little sister is quite capable of kicking someone in their balls."

They went up into the living room. "Mum and Dad aren't back from the meeting yet." Clary said, looking around the empty living room for their parents who obviously weren't at home.

They'd been called in for an immediate meeting with the Council an hour ago. Valentine and Jocelyn didn't have any idea what this could be about.

"So... you're gonna work on your assignment at home?" Jonathan asked her. "I could fetch us something for dinner... Who knows how much longer Mum and Dad will be away..."

"I'm not that hungry, really." Clary said. "I will just take my stuff and go for a walk. I'll work on my assignment at the lake or in the park. See you later, okay?"

For a moment Clary thought her brother would disagree, that he would tell her not to go out or at least take him with her – he sometimes did that. He was too protective over her. Clary had told him that he didn't need to worry so much about her.

He looked at her in a strange kind of way, before composing himself again and smiling. "Sure. See you later."

Clary smiled at her brother and before she went out, she kissed him lightly on the cheek. Than she grabbed her bagpack and turned to leave.

Since she had her back turned to him once she walked towards the door, Clary couldn't see Jonathan's fist clench and unclench while watching her walk out. Like he could barely stop himself to go after her, to stop her from going away from him.


	2. Changes

**Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to review the first chapter! Since I've had a good run this weekend I decided to put the next chapter online sooner than I would have expected.**

**So, this is the first peek inside Jace's mind. Please tell me what you thought about it in the reviews! Also, tell me if you catched some certain TID references and if a mention of a certain character we all love put a little smile on your face.**

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**Chapter 2 » Changes  
**"What do you say? Looks, great, huh?"

"Yeah... Not that bad, I suppose. Even though it is _not _as impressive as the London Institute."

Jace Herondale stood outside a great, beautiful manor house alongside his mother and father, Celine and Stephen. They'd only arrived in Idris a few hours ago. Their voyage here hadn't been that difficult, since a befriended warlock of theirs – Magnus Bane, a warlock who had been, if one liked to believe rumors, a great friend of the Herondale family for quite a few decades – had helped them get to Idris through a Portal.

Their move to Idris had been in a bit of a rush. They had been called to the home country of the Shadowhunters by no other person than Jace's grandmother, Imogen Herondale – who was not only his grandmother, but also the Inquisitor.

Even though Jace had been to Idris a few times the past 17 years, he didn't consider the Shadowhunters' home country _home_. Not like most of them did, no matter if they lived here or not. Jace had grown up in London, inside the London Institute. The Herondales had been in charge of the Institute there for over a century. If Jace remembered his family history correctly – and, mind you, even though Shadowhunter family trees were quite interesting, he preferred to live in the present far more than spending too much time in the past – the Herondale that had started this had been named... Wesley? Or William, maybe? Yeah, must have been something like that.

There were even stories that said that the Herondales descended from an unique being, half demon, half Shadowhunter. That was, in Jace's opinion, quite ridiculous. Everyone knew that something like this wasn't even possible, for Shadowhunters and demons weren't able to have children together. And, for all he cared, the idea of having sex with a demon was kind of gross.

Everyone knew that you could catch demon pox when doing that.

"Well, son, you'll have to get used to this house now, since we'll be staying here for a while." Stephen said, looking at his son. Though Jace just grinned at him. He hadn't been _that _excited when his parents told him that they would move to Idris for some time, but he would not act like a stubborn child about it.

Yes, he _was _happy in London. And, yes, he _missed _that beautiful city, his home that was so different from Alicante, already, he missed the Institute. Still, a Shadowhunter went to wherever duty called for them. And if there was one thing Jace cared about, it was the sacred duty he'd had as a Shadowhunter, as one of the Nephilim.

And since the Inquisitor herself had called for them to come here, whatever was the matter must be quite important.

Imogen Herondale herself had once been in charge of the London Institute, before returning to Idris to become Inquisitor. She had left her son Stephen in charge of the London Institute then, who'd been only 19 or 20 at the time. Jace wondered why his father hadn't left _him _to be in charge now, since he was only slightly younger than he'd himself had been when he had taken over the Institute from his mother. But Stephen had insisted that Jace would come with them. He wanted his son to spend some time in his home country, to learn and fight here.

For as long as they were gone, the Penhallows would be in charge of the London Institute. They were good friends of the Herondales and had helped running the Institute ever since Jace could remember.

"I know. And it's fine, dad." Jace told his father, smiling at both him and his mother. He knew that they – especially his mother – had been worried about their sudden move. So Jace wanted to show them how much he understood whey they'd have to do it, that sometimes they didn't have any other choice than to just roll with how things played out.

"So," he said, "Shouldn't we go inside or. . .?"

But in that moment, the door already opened and an elderly woman stepped outside. She looked proud, even as she smiled at them, like someone who was serious most of the time. She also looked strong and firm, someone you shouldn't mess with under any circumstances.

When she arrived before them, she looked from Celine to Stephen, before beaming at her son. "Stephen! It has been such a long time! I'm very happy that you were able to come on such a short notice."

"Of course, mother. When you called us, we arranged everything to come here as soon as possible."

Imogen Herondale hugged her son and kissed him on both cheeks, before greeting her daughter-in-law Celine just as warmly. Then she turned her attention to Jace, looking him up and down. He wasn't sure how long it had been since he'd last met her – four or five years, maybe?

"Jace Herondale," she said, an aura of authority flowing from her. "You've turned into a grown man. You look so much like your father, it's astonishing."

Jace bowed his head a little. "Inquisitor Herondale," he said, not even sure himself if he spoke to her with real respect or just mocking her. Imogen raised an eyebrow at him, before smiling and pulling him into a tight embrace as well. "You know that you don't need to call me Inquisitor, Jace. Not in private, at least."

When she turned back to go inside the house, the three of them followed her. She lived here all by herself – a few years back, just a few months after Jace had been born, Stephen's father had died and since then Imogen was alone. Now Jace and his parents would move into the Herondale manor house. After having showed them where everything was and where they would sleep – his parents had a room for themselves, just as Jace had one to himself – Imogen wanted to talk to Stephen and Celine before the three of them would have to attend an Council meeting. It sounded like it was important and that whatever they had to talk about couldn't wait under any circumstances.

"How about you walk around a little, make yourself comfortable with the new surroundings..." Stephen said to Jace, who just raised his eyebrows at him. It was clear that his father didn't want him to be there when they would talk to Imogen about whatever might be going on, and even though part of Jace wanted to know what they were going to talk about, another part of him didn't really care.

Still he found it was quite odd for them not to want him to be there. But he respected his father's wishes – if there was something he would want to tell him, he would do so later. Jace wasn't normally that respectful, but if there was one person in the world he respected, it was his father. Also, his mother. He loved her dearly. She was the one he felt closest to. His father and he shared a lot of traits and weaknesses – their fighting technique was quite similar. Since he'd grown up at an Institute, he had learned everything from his father. He'd trained him to be a great Shadowhunter. His father wasn't that sensible, though, not as much as his mother at least. Sometimes he seemed quite uncomfortable talking about feelings, just like Jace was. Jace thought that the only person who could get both of them to talk about things that affected them was his mother.

Before Celine Herondale followed her mother-in-law and her husband inside the kitchen, she turned to her son, smiling warmly at him. "Are you really alright, Jace? I would absolutely understand it if you'd resent us for changing your life in just a matter of a few days. I know that you want to show us that you understand – and I'm really proud of you for being that mature. But you don't need to act like that you love living here..."

"It's okay, mum. Really. I mean – of course I miss London and moving here... it was a bit sudden. Yeah.. But we'll be back there, won't we?"

Celine still smiled, though for a moment something seemed to be changing in her eyes. A shadow darkened her expression. But just as soon as it had surfaced it had vanished again. "Yes. We will. I don't know when, but we will. In the meantime, try to feel like you're at home here, because this is Idris, my brave boy, and it is your home."

"I will, mum. I will."

"We talk later, okay?" Celine kissed him softly on the forehead, before turning to follow Stephen and Imogen.

Jace went outside. It was definitely a change from living in London, a big city where there were people on the street all the time, that he now lived on the outskirts of Idris. There was nothing to be seen but woods and trees and Alicante was still a few miles away.

What the hell. Jace wasn't one to whine. Besides, there seemed to be a lot going on if the Inquisitor herself had requested his family to come here. And even though Jace let them alone to talk now, that didn't mean he wouldn't try to find out what was going on when the time was right.

He might be respectful towards his parents. That didn't mean that he always agreed with what they chose for him, though.


	3. Wings

**Thank you again for such awesome reviews! Since I thought that some of you might enjoy to get a little more into the actual story, I decided to put TWO new chapters online today. However, since school is starting again next week, I don't know if I will put another chapter online until the end of next week. Though I might, but I'm not sure yet - guess you'll have to wait and see.**

**This one's the first meeting of Clary and Jace - hope you're ready for some Clace!**

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**Chapter 3 » Wings  
**Clary had walked through the woods for at least half an hour before she had found a place to make herself comfortable at. She didn't go to the lake as she had planned to, instead she had been wandering to a meadow which was located quite a few miles away from her house. When she sat under a tree and got her stuff for school out of her backpack, though, Clary found herself not really wanting to work on that. She knew she would regret it tomorrow, but right now she didn't care.

So instead of working on her school assignment, she got out her sketchpad and started working on some of her drawings. When she drew, Clary easily forgot to pay attention to how much time was passing. When she drew, she just sunk deeper into her own imaginary world, drawing the things the thought of, the things she saw in her own mind.

She didn't realize that she wasn't alone anymore at some point. Only when she heard someone coughing slightly did she loop up, surprised and startled. A boy stood above her. Tall, blond... _Gorgeous_. He was looking down at her out of golden eyes which seemed almost luminous in the light of day. For a small moment Clary almost thought she'd lost herself in one of her daydreams again. He looked almost exactly like the princes she'd always dream about, the ones she'd draw in her sketchbook. He looked beautiful. There was no other adjective to describe the way he looked. Blond locks fell into his face, which was all shapes and angles. The exact face Clary would love to draw. He looked like an angel. If one were to believe the stories that Shadowhunters really did descend from Angels, Clary would believe it more than ever after seeing him.

Because this boy did look like she'd imagine an angel. She could almost see wings sprouting out of his back, enfolding all around him... Golden, stunningly beautiful wings... How much she would love to draw that...

"Are you deaf or something?"

The sound of his voice brought Clary back to reality. She looked up to him, blinking, still confused. She hadn't realized that he'd even been talking to her. Though of course he must have, or else he wouldn't stand above her.

Thinking about that, she only now realized that she didn't even know who that boy was and what he wanted from her.

So instead of answering his question, she asked one herself, "What do you want from me? It's not exactly nice to just sneak up on people while they are busy."

A grin crossed his lips. "Well, you did look kind of busy. You looked like you were completely sunken into that picture you're drawing... That's really nice, by the way. Is that supposed to be me? You know, we haven't met before, but it's really sweet of you to draw me in your little romance fantasies. I know that girls are quite attracted by my gorgeously good looks, but I had yet to meet a girl who was stunned by my glorious self even _before _we had actually met."

Blushing, Clary looked to the picture she'd just been drawing – it wasn't of him, of course, since they had never met before, like he'd just said. Though the picture resembled him, not as much as he seemed to like to think, but it was of a boy with golden locks and wings spreading all around him. . .

"I haven't been drawing you." she snapped before shutting her sketchbook close. "You seem to be quite full of yourself if you think that every girl is – what did you call it again? – _attracted by your gorgeously good looks_. So, no, I have to disappoint you. I haven't been drawing you. So, could you please tell me what you want?"

The boy just grinned at her, seemingly not impressed by her words. "It's not that bad if you haven't been drawing me. After seeing me, I'm quite sure that you will never draw anyone else but me from now on."

At that Clary blushed. She couldn't believe how someone could be this arrogant and still... well... still looking so. Extremely. Good. It just wasn't fair. Clary had never thought of herself as being pretty. She also didn't have a boyfriend – it wasn't because no one was interested in her, there even had been one or two boys before who had tried to ask her out. It was just the fact that her big brother scared them off before they even had a chance to try to get close to Clary.

He just tried to protect her. She knew that. He didn't want her to get hurt. Still, it wasn't quite good for someone's love life if one's big brother always looked out for oneself.

"As for what I want," the boy continued, sitting himself now in the grass before her. "I'm not exactly sure, to be quite honest. I've been wandering around the woods and since there aren't that much people here – none, to be exact – I thought I could just talk to you when I saw you."

"Oh. . ." was the witty comeback Clary came up with after he'd finished talking. "Well. No. You will not find that many people here in the woods. There are a few cottages around here, some families live at the countryside, but most people live in the city."

"I figured. Seems quite... Boring."

"Well. It's not that boring. I like the quietness." She took a deep breath before asking him, "So, who are you? It seems like you haven't been to Idris before."

He smiled at her. His smile seemed mischievous and full of secrets. Clary didn't know why, but she wanted to unravel all of his secrets so badly. "I've been to Idris a few times, actually. Though I've never lived here until now. As for who I am... My name's Jace. Jace Herondale. And you are...?"

For a moment, Clary couldn't do anything else but stare at him. Jace Herondale. _Herondale_. Of course she had heard about the Herondales – who had not? Imogen Herondale was the Inquisitor and people talked about her with great respect. It was said that she was the strictest, firmest and proudest Inquisitor to ever have that position and everyone knew that the Herondales were in charge of the London Institute. They were almost legendary. Clary knew that the Herondales had been in charge of the London Institute for decades and that there had never been one family who had been in charge of a particular Institute for so long as they were.

It was also said that they were exquisite fighters. In fact, even here in Idris Clary had heard stories about the son of the Herondales. About that boy who had slaughtered more demons than anyone else his age. That Shadowhunter who claimed to be the best of his generation. Clary had always thought that these stories were quite exciting, whereas her brother thought they were ridiculous. Though Clary figured that he was just jealous, since Jonathan liked to feel like _he _was the best Shadowhunter his age.

Her family didn't know the Herondales personally, though. They had only heard of them, but since they lived in London and the Morgensterns lived in Idris, both families had never associated with one another. Though her parents knew Inquisitor Herondale from Council meetings.

_By the Angel_. So if he was that boy... If he was the one who was so talented, so good at fighting... And so _handsome_... Clary tried to fight these thoughts off. What was wrong with her? She'd never been so drawn to someone just because of their good looks. But then again, she had never met someone quite as beautiful as Jace Herondale. But the thought that he knew exactly how good looking he was and that he seemed determined to think that everyone else knew that as well didn't make him that compelling either.

She was sure that having to spend a lot of time with someone like him could easily get on one's nerves.

"I am Clary." she said at last and without really knowing why she was so formal, she reached out her hand to him so he could shake it. While doing so, Clary noticed him grinning – was he making fun of her? She wasn't sure, but when he took her hand, Clary thought for a moment that her whole skin had been set on fire. Every other thought was lost in that one touch. For a moment she couldn't get another word out, because all she was able to do was stare at him. She didn't know what happened, all she knew was that her whole body must have been ignited, that touching his skin felt so right and wrong and a lot of other things which she couldn't even name and looking into these golden eyes was the best thing ever happening to her and she wanted... _she wanted_...

That was when their hands parted, like both of them had realized what was going on. Even though neither knew what had gone on at all. Clary took a deep breath and tried to compose herself. "Clary Morgenstern." she said at last.

Jace nodded at her. "So you've been living in Idris your whole life?"

"Yeah. I've grown up here. And you... Don't your family live in London normally? You're in charge of the Institute there, aren't you? So why have you moved to Idris?"

Jace grinned at her, running a hand through his blond hair. Clary realized that she'd like to do nothing more than touch his hair herself... By the Angel! What the hell was wrong with her? She barely knew that guy and she fantasized about touching his hair.

"So you _have _heard of me. I was almost afraid that you haven't when I didn't see a spark of recognition in your eyes after I've told you who I was. My family's quite famous, I know – in fact, _I am_ quite famous also. Did you know that I'm one of the best and most gorgeous young Shadowhunters out there? Of course you know. Everyone knows."

Clary rolled her eyes at him and wanted to get up. "If you only wanted to talk to me so you can brag about yourself, you can gladly do that with one of the trees around here. I'm sure they'd like to know all about you, whereas I'm not interested to listen to how much you seem to be in love with yourself."

Before she could get up, though, Jace caught at her arm and pulled her back on the grass. "I didn't mean it like that. I was just kidding. Sorry, okay? I won't brag about myself that much anymore." When she raised an eyebrow at him, he shrugged before confessing, "Well, I will _try _not to brag about myself that much anymore.

"Well, where was I? - Yes, I have lived at the London Institute until now. My parents and I had only arrived in Idris a few hours ago. Some emergency... I don't know what is going on, but my grandmother... uhm, the Inquisitor requested from them to come here as soon as possible. So my father left someone else in charge of the Institute and we moved here. We live in the Herondale manor house now, actually."

Clary nodded, frowning. "An emergency... That sounds odd. My parents have been called to a Council meeting only a few hours ago. They haven't been back when I went out. I wonder what's going on..."

"My parents and the Inquisitor also wanted to go to a Council meeting. I'd bet that is the one your parents are attending right now."

For a moment both looked at each other. Another spark was flying between them, but this time it was because both Clary and Jace wondered about the same thing – whatever had happened, it sounded like it was something very, very serious.

Without even realizing, both of them stood up at the same time. They walked away from the meadow, back on the road that lead to Alicante eventually. "I... I think I should go home now." Clary said, unsure of what else to say to him. She didn't know what it was, but part of her still felt drawn to him. She felt like she needed to spend more time with him... Like she wanted to get to know him better. But that was stupid, wasn't it?

For a moment Jace gazed at her and even though everything about him was confident, for a moment he seemed quite insecure himself. "Maybe we could go to Alicante tomorrow. I mean... it's been a few years since I've last been here and it would be nice to have someone to hang out with. Maybe you could introduce me to your friends?"

"Uhm..." Clary didn't want to tell him that she didn't have any friends except for her brother. That was quite embarrassing. So all she said was, "Sure. Of course." She actually _wanted _to hang out with Jace. The thought about being with someone other than her brother, with a boy. . . It was thrilling, exciting and frightening at the same time.

"I know where the Herondale manor is. I... I can come over tomorrow to get you?"

Jace smiled at her – it wasn't that mocking grin he'd showed her. earlier He was really smiling. And it made Clary's heart skip a beat or two. "See you then."

"See you." When Jace took a turn in the road she watched him for a moment too long before she started walking again. The way his shadow fell behind him... She still could imagine him having wings.


	4. Blood

**Chapter 4 » Blood  
**These past few weeks, Clarissa had been going out by herself a lot. Jonathan didn't like it – he wondered what might have changed, what might be the reason why his little sister suddenly did not want to spend as much time with him as she used to. Maybe he was just imagining things. Maybe he should let Clary have her time alone. He knew how much she loved to just sit by herself when she was drawing... Jonathan, though, loved to watch her.

Sometimes he could just spend hours watching her. And sometimes he wanted to reach out his hand to her, wanted to touch her... Wanted to touch her red hair, to stroke her cheeks, hold her close to him. Part of him wondered if that made him a twisted, sick bastard just because he thought about his sister in _that _way. Just because he thought his sister was beautiful, just because he wanted to be much closer to her than siblings normally were. Just because he thought that Clarissa Adele Morgenstern was special, that she was the only one in this goddamn forsaken world who could ever truly be equal to him.

No. He wasn't sick, nor twisted.

He just loved his sister. He wanted to protect her. And in time, he was sure about that, she would see that the world was perfect if they just had each other. They didn't need anyone else except for one another.

Jonathan got pulled out of his thoughts when he heard something outside. He became very quiet, tried to listen to what his parents were saying... He'd always had an ability for that. His senses were even better than those of other Shadowhunters. He moved as swiftly and graciously as a wild cat. His hearings were as good as a wolf's and in a fight he always sensed his rival's next move.

Jonathan Morgenstern had yet to find the person who could take him down. Not even Clary was as strong as he was. They often would fight each other, just to see who was the more skilled, the stronger one of them. Jonathan knew how much Clary loved it when she thought she could take him down. So even though he wouldn't let Clary win their fights all the time, he sometimes let her. Just because he liked the feel of her wrestling him down to the ground, sitting of top on him, breathless, asking him if he's had enough.

He looked to the door again, tried to concentrate on his parents' voices outside and he could even make out what they were saying, he was listening to their steady heartbeats...

"I can't believe that Stephen Herondale is here now. What did the Inquisitor think – that he knows any more about what has happened than one of us who actually live here do?" Valentine said, sounding angry and frustrated. "She just brought him into Council and demanded of everyone to just accept it. Like she was already sure that he'd be in charge now. Or that she is in charge now. She might have a lot of power, but she's still just the Inquisitor, not the Consul. Still she acts like she's our leader. I yet have to understand how anyone could give a position of power to that woman. . ."

Jonathan had always figured that his father wasn't quite fond of Imogen Herondale. Valentine had wanted to become a more important part in the Council for years now and Jonathan suspected that his father wanted to get Inquisitor Herondale's job. So, naturally, his father certainly wasn't thrilled when he'd learned that another Herondale had come to Idris.

"What happened has nothing to do with him." Jocelyn told her husband, and Jonathan could almost see how his mother laid a hand on his arm, like she always did when she tried to calm him down. "I just think that Imogen wanted the best Shadowhunters in Idris now. And after what has happened, it is only natural. We need the best of us here. If it is true... If our enemy is within our ranks... We need as many skilled fighters here as possible. We don't even know what is going on yet."

"Stephen Herondale. Skilled..." Valentine murmured under his breath, before sighing and apparently deciding to drop the subject of Stephen Herondale. "I think quite a lot will change from now on. For a start, the Council is going to need a new Consul."

"Don't talk like that, Valentine. It has only been a few hours. We should grieve instead of thinking about electing a new one."

"I don't want to sound harsh, Jocelyn, you know that. But something's coming. Something dark. . ."

He opened the door and walked inside. When Valentine and Jocelyn spotted Jonathan, both of them stopped talking at once, though. Jonathan wondered if they would tell him what had happened. He looked up to his parents, who looked stressed and his mother looked like she had shed a few tears.

"Jonathan." Valentine acknowledged him. "Where is your sister?"

"Out to take a walk." he said simply. "So what happened at the Council meeting? It was quite urgent, wasn't it? Something must have happened, I think."

He watched his parents exchange a glance, before Valentine took a deep breath. "He will learn what happened soon enough, Jocelyn. Besides, both Clary and Jonathan are almost grown up now. They deserve to know what is going on in our world."

Jocelyn just nodded, even though she looked like she rather didn't want them to know. But she couldn't do anything against it, either, so she didn't try to stop her husband from telling their son what had happened at Council.

"Consul Blackthorn is dead." Valentine said at last.

Jonathan had figured just as much, but since his parents couldn't know about how good his senses were exactly, he raised his eyebrows in surprise. "How. . .?" he asked, but before he could end his question, the door opened once again and Clary came in. Jonathan hadn't even noticed his sister approaching because he'd been too focused on his father. His heart skipped a few beats when he saw her, just like it always did, and he yearned to reach out for her, to pull her to his side. Jonathan felt like he was the only one who deserved to touch her, to be in her presence – not even their parents deserved to have her as much as he did.

When Clary saw all of them staring at her, she seemed to know immediately that something must have happened. "What's going on?" she asked. Jocelyn took a deep breath and looked at her husband. She had always wanted to protect Clary. She had a much closer connection to her than she did with Jonathan – Clary was her little girl, she didn't want anything bad to happen to her.

That must have been the only thing Jonathan and his mother agreed on.

"Valentine. She is still so young..."

"Stop it, Jocelyn. She's a Shadowhunter. She is sixteen. And besides, tomorrow everyone will know what happened. I rather deliver these news to my children myself than having them hear it from anyone else. So." He turned back to Jonathan, looking from him to Clary. "Like I have just told your brother, Consul Blackthorn was found dead."

"What?" Clary said, shocked. "Oh my God. That is so, so awful. What are his wife and kids gonna do? Julian is only 12, isn't he? And they have children that are much younger than that..."

Valentine ignored Clary and just continued to talk, "It wasn't a natural death – I mean, of course it wasn't. That man wasn't even older than your mother and I am. He was murdered. Inquisitor Herondale found him earlier today. He had been killed in the Hall of Accords. Someone – and since the Glass City is protected by the Demon Towers – has murdered the Consul. We can be pretty sure that it must have been someone from the inside. Someone of ours. A Shadowhunter."

He looked at his children for a long moment, watching shock and fear cross Clary's expression, while Jonathan looked indifferent to everything his father had just told them. "Who would do something horrible like that?" Clary whispered. Her mother went over to her, putting her arm protectively over Clary's shoulders.

"That is not all, though," Valentine said then. "Consul Blackthorn wasn't just murdered. Whoever did this, did it in the Hall of Accords because they knew that it would offend us, that tainting one of the most important buildings in Idris would be like a declaration of war. Of worse things to come. They also left a message..."

Valentine took a deep breath. "It was written on the wall. In the Consul's own blood. _Beware, Shadowhunters_, it said, _Your end is coming_."

Clary and Jonathan stared at their father for a moment in silence, trying to digest what they've just heard. "So... what do you think might have happened?" Jonathan asked their father, almost cautiously. "Why do you think someone would do this?"

Valentine looked his son right in the eyes. Jonathan's onyx-colored eyes didn't give away any hint of feeling or thought. "Whoever did this, I'm sure, is going to throw our Shadowhunter society into chaos. Whoever did this didn't do it out of an only political purpose – that person stained one of our most sacred buildings. That person killed the person who is supposed to be one of our leaders.

"Whoever killed Consul Blackthorn, I think they have only just started. And whatever they're up to, they want to destroy this world from within." 

* * *

**Uh-oh. Daddy Morgenstern is quite pessimistic, don't you think?  
Please tell me what you thought about chapter 3 as well as chapter 4 in the reviews, it would mean the world to me to know what you readers are thinking! And I also hope that you're feeling that we're slowly getting to the more action-y (is that even a legit word?) part of the story!  
**


	5. Lullaby

Right now I am writing astonishingly fast on this story, it is just so much fun - I really hope you guys won't be too spoiled because of my fast updates when there should come a time when it'll take me longer to update.

**50shadeslover -** I think that Valentine is right, too. Though I can understand Jocelyn as well, it is always better to be honest.  
**The Worn in the Apple -** Well, that's Jonathan we're talking about. When is he ever completely pure? xD And your wish for more Clace will be granted in the next chapter!  
**ariamccormack -** Thank you so much! It is quite fun to write from Jonathan's POV, to be honest.  
** unbroken dreams -** For that to know you'll just have to wait and see. Though I don't get how you could possibly think that Jo-Jo would do such a horrible thing... (See my sarcasm here?)

Please, please, please review after you read! It is so much more fun and encouraging to write when I know what my readers are thinking. If I'll get a lot of reviews, than I think I might put the next chapter online very soon. So, here's some Jace and Mama Herondale times - I'd just felt the need to write something about them since I've always imagined what relationship Jace and Celine could have.

Also, stay tuned for a little Sneak Peek for the next chapter after you've finished reading!

* * *

**Chapter 5 » Lullaby**

When Jace had come home, his parents and Inquisitor Herondale had not yet returned from their Council meeting. He wondered what might take them so long, what must have happened that his parents had had to leave everything in London, including the Institute, behind and come to Idris at such a short notice. Something serious must have happened, Jace was sure about it. He just needed to find out what had happened exactly. Though he was quite sure that they would tell him in time. He just needed to be a bit more patient.

He also wondered about the girl he'd just met in the woods. Clary. Clary Morgenstern. Jace had no idea what it was, but there had been something about her that made his thoughts wander back to her. He had never seen someone being this lost inside their own little world – but that had been exactly the way she had looked when he had watched her draw. Jace envied her for that. For being able to lose herself completely in something like this.

He often wanted to lose himself, too. But whenever Jace tried to do that, he mostly put himself into danger. When he wanted to leave everything behind, to get lost for a while, Jace would just get out of the Institute and search the streets for some distraction... And in London, one would _always _find distraction when one just looked for it.

There would always be some demons he could slay, or some club he could go to. Sometimes he just needed that, to clear his head, to forget the burden he was carrying. Though Jace had a good life, a wonderful life, even, he always felt the need to build walls of protection around himself. He found it hard to express what he was really feeling – whenever he felt like that, he got into his sarcasm defensive mode. Jace had learned to be a warrior since he'd been a child. His father was caring and loving, but he was also the Head of the London Institute. Jace knew that his father would die to save him, but he had also been the one to teach Jace about being a warrior, a brave, loyal and good Shadowhunter.

He had taught Jace so he would one day become the Head of the London Institute as well. His father, just like Jace himself, didn't show too much feeling as well.

But Jace knew how much he loved his mother. Whenever he watched them sometimes, he would see his father reaching to touch his mother's hand softly, to stroke a loose stand of hair behind her ear, to whisper something in her ear Jace couldn't make out.

He wondered if there would ever be a kind of love like that. His mother had once told him that Herondale men were special – that there was only one true love for each of them and that they always found it. Jace didn't know if he could believe that. That he wasn't sure if he would ever find that one girl he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. If there would be anyone like that for him, if he could even trust another person this much.

That was when his mother had shown him the star-shaped scar on his shoulder. It was a sign each Herondale carried on his body and – if one were to believe rumors – it was a sign branded upon that family by an angel, a sign of true love.

For Jace, though, it was just some birthmark.

Still he thought about Clary Morgenstern when he went into his room, throwing away his boots and jacket before crashing onto the bed. When he'd first seen her earlier, he had thought that she must be some kind of fairy... That red hair, her delicate frame... When he had moved closer to her, he'd seen the signs of being a Shadowhunter on her too clearly, though she hadn't been in gear. She looked strong and even lost inside her thoughts she'd looked determined, like someone you shouldn't mess with.

"Jace?"

The sound of his mother's voice made Jace look up in surprise. He hadn't even heard them coming home, nor had he heard his mother coming inside his room.

"Mother..." He sat up, looking at her. "I haven't realized you're back already. Is everything alright? How did the Council meeting go?"

"Everything is fine. Actually, your father wanted to talk to you about the meeting. He feels like you should know what happened." Celine looked sad for a moment – Jace knew that, whatever had happened, must have been bad. Very bad. "But before we go downstairs to your father and Imogen, I wanted to ask you how your walk was. Have you been to Alicante?"

"No. I've been just wandering around the woods." Jace hesitated for a moment, wondering if he should tell his mother about meeting Clary. He probably wouldn't have told his father.

But his mother... He could tell her everything if he wanted to. It was as simple as that. And she was the person he trusted the most.

Celine raised an eyebrow at him questioningly when she noticed him hesitating. She always seemed to know that something was going on with him, no matter if he actually said anything or not. She could often read him like an open book.

"I have met someone in the woods today." Jace told his mother at last. "She seemed quite nice and, actually, we're planning to meet again tomorrow. She is..." He wasn't quite sure how to put it into words. Wasn't quite sure how to tell his mother what he thought about Clary Morgenstern, a girl he barely knew and yet he had felt so comfortable around her. Celine, though, seemed to know what Jace was trying to say.

Smiling, she came over to him, pushing a lock of blond hair out of his face. "Seems to be an astonishing girl, if she manages to make my son speechless."

At that, Jace had to laugh. "No – Yes, I mean, I don't know. I just... I thought you'd be happy if I found a friend here."

"Oh, of course I would, Jace. I certainly hope that you will find friends here. That you will feel at home here." She took a deep breath, before turning back to the door. "Come now, your father and grandmother are waiting downstairs for us."

* * *

The Consul was dead and the Council was now without a leader. The Consul wasn't just dead, he'd been killed by someone in the Hall of Accords – it couldn't have been a demon attack and after the murdered had written a rather happy note in the killed man's blood on the wall of the most sacred building in the Shadowhunter's world, it seemed like whoever had killed the Consul had only been getting started. And it had to be someone from the inside, someone from their own ranks. Which meant that, at times such as these, they couldn't trust each other.

Great. What a mess to stumble in.

After what his grandmother had said, it seemed like she already suspected someone to be the killer, though she hadn't told them any names yet. She wanted her son's help in this matter – he was, she'd said, her most trusted person in this world and she needed him to be with her now. Imogen even wanted that her son would become the new Consul.

His father... Consul. Jace couldn't quite imagine that, but the thought of how powerful their family would become if both his father and grandmother had such great positions. Consul and Inquisitor... And to think about what a great target they would also be to that killer... What did that person want? Why did they want to end the Shadowhunters' world?

There seemed to be a lot more behind that killing than any of them could quite understand yet. And when they would finally understand... Maybe it would be too late then...

Jace looked up when his mother came into his room once again. It was quite late and she was already in her night gown. "I'd just wanted to check up on you one last time before I go to bed. What happened these last few days must be quite hard on you. Don't even try to act mature and brave, Jace – I know that you're all these things. But you're still my son and I want you to be alright."

He couldn't help but smile at his mother. She always seemed to worry about him. Especially now, that they had had to move from London to Idris on such short notice and after what he'd heard today... But Jace could cope with all that. His mother didn't need to worry about him.

"It's alright, mum. Really. I'm okay. What happened to the Consul should be our No. 1 priority now. Whatever has happened to him, I think that dad and grandmother are right... It's the start of something. Of something bad. Whoever did this seems not to be very satisfied with being a Shadowhunter. Or with us. Killing the Consul in the Hall of Accords... It's... it is blasphemy."

Celine sat beside him on the bed, looking thoughtful. "I know that your father will probably become Consul, if Imogen manages to make it happen... It would be great for his career, his reputation."

"Don't you think that the other Council members might disagree with her? That it wouldn't be good to have the same family in these highest positions of power?"

"I'm not sure. There certainly are some who will not want to let it happen. There will certainly be some who are going to be against Stephen and Imogen..." Celine took a deep breath. "I've always tried to not let myself be influenced by Shadowhunter politics. It was hard to keep away from that when one's the wife of the head of the London Institute – but here, in Idris. After what happened to Consul Blackthorn... There's no more turning back now."

Jace tried to smile encouragingly at his mother. "It'll be fine, mum. Maybe they'll catch the killer soon." Though some part of Jace doubted that this would happen. That this killer wouldn't be stupid enough to get himself caught – not if he was smart enough to kill the Consul in the hall of Accords in the first place.

Celine was quiet for a long moment, before she turned to Jace again, asking, "Do you remember how I sang lullabies to you when you were small? Lullabies in French. Do you remember how that was how I got you to learn French?"

Jace smiled at the memory. "Of course I remember."

"Do you want me to sing for you now? I know that you'll 17 already and that having your mum sing lullabies to you might not be considered as very cool...-"

"It's okay, mum. I'd love for you to sing me one of the lullabies." Jace cut her off, smiling. Celine gazed at her son with such tenderness in her eyes. She brushed her hand through his blond hair and when Jace laid back on his bed and closed his eyes, she still stroked his hair while he listened to her singing.

_Au clair de la lune,  
On n'y voit qu'un peu.  
On chercha la plume,  
On chercha le feu.  
En cherchant d'la sorte,  
Je n'sais c'qu'on trouva;  
Mais je sais qu'la porte  
Sur eux se ferma._

* * *

**How did you like this chapter? What do you think of my characterization of Celine Herondale and her relationship to Jace?**

**As promised, here's a little sneak peek for the next chapter:**

Clary grinned, too, and when they both started walking down the street again, she noticed two other girls who walked by staring at Jace. They leaned in closer to each other, pointing at Jace and giggling. Clary couldn't stop herself from frowning. Somehow she didn't like that these two girls had been checking Jace out. "Those girls are staring at you."

His grin got even bigger at that. He looked at Clary and didn't even try to hide the smug expression on his face. "Of course they are," he said, sounding as if Clary was stupid for even pointing out that these girls had been staring at him. "I'm stunningly attractive. So why shouldn't they be staring at me? In fact, I think you are not staring enough at me..."

**Noticed the CoB reference here? I always loved that quote in the book!**


	6. Lovely

Oh well, I seem to be just as excited about putting up the new chapters as you are about reading them. But since I _love _this chapter, I couldn't wait any longer to put it online.

**shannie83 - **Thank you so much! And yeah, there'll be definitely more Clace from now on!  
**Isob3l - **Thank you! I also think that Jace and his mum would've been pretty adorable together.  
**50shadeslover - **That's awesome to hear, thank you!  
**The Worm in the Apple - **Your wish is granted, hope you enjoy this one.  
**iohito - **Thanks! Don't worry, the updates will keep coming!

* * *

**Chapter 6 » Lovely  
**When Clary got up the next morning, she felt quite nervous. Despite having heard the bad news of Consul Blackthorn's murder, Clary couldn't help but feel excited at the thought of seeing Jace Herondale again today. She would spend the whole day with him, she'd show him around Alicante. Clary wasn't quite sure why, but she was more than thrilled to see him again. She couldn't stop thinking about him. About his mocking smile, these golden eyes... Maybe she was being silly for thinking about a boy she barely knew.

But Clary wanted to _get _to know him.

After taking a shower and changing into jeans, a shirt and converse, Clary went downstairs. Her father and Jonathan sat on the table eating breakfast, while her mother was already doing some dishes. "Are you hungry, honey?" Jocelyn asked her when Clary approached them. "No I'm not. I have to go now because I'm meeting a friend in a bit."

Before her parents could even ask who she was meeting, Jonathan's eyes shot up to her, frowning. "What? You're meeting a friend? Who? When did that happen?"

Clary looked at her brother, frowning at how shocked he seemed to be at the prospect of her meeting someone. He didn't just look surprised, he looked like her words had made him angry. For a moment, even, Clary had the feeling that Jonathan was furious with her before her brother managed to compose himself once more. "I'm just... You haven't met with other people in so long and... most of the time we're doing stuff together..."

Valentine laughed at that, slapping his son on the back. "It's rather endearing, Jocelyn, isn't it? How protective our son is of Clarissa."

Even Jocelyn smiled, though her eyes were fixed on Clary. "Yes it is. He'd always tried to protect you, ever since you two were little." Jonathan looked from his parents to Clary, now smiling softly at her. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to seem over the top, but I was just a bit... surprised. So, who are you meeting? Is it one of the girls you have classes with?"

"No. Actually, it's a boy."

At that, Jonathan's eyes darkened and even Valentine and Jocelyn looked at her, surprised. Clary only realized now how that might have sounded, so she backpedaled quickly. "It's not like you think. He is just a friend." She wasn't in the mood to tell them how exactly how she'd met Jace, so Clary decided to leave it at that.

"But if it's a boy..." Jonathan started. "Are you sure that I shouldn't come along?"

Clary looked at her brother, now getting really mad at him. Did he think that she wasn't able to get anything done by herself? Did he always think that she needed his protection?

But before she could say anything, Jocelyn stepped in, saying, "It's okay Jonathan. Clary is quite capable of taking care of herself. Besides, it would be quite embarrassing to bring your overprotective big brother along to a date."

"It is not a date!" Clary protested, but her mother just winked at her. Jonathan still didn't seem content with this, but he just nodded. He turned his attention back to his breakfast, not even wishing his sister to have fun. Clary wondered what the hell was wrong with him. Yes, it was true that they spend most of their time together. But Jonathan had other friends with which he spend time besides hanging out with his sister. Why couldn't she have other friends, too? If Clary didn't know that Jonathan was just worried about her, that he just wanted to protect her, she would have thought that he might be jealous.

She told them goodbye before she left the house. Now that she was on her way to see Jace again, she was getting nervous again. The Herondale manor wasn't that far from the Morgenstern one. When she approached it, she could already see Jace waiting for her in front of the house. He wore a leather jacket – the same he'd worn yesterday and she suspected that it was part of his gear – and black jeans, leaning against the garden fence.

A smile crossed Jace's lips when he saw her approaching. He walked towards her. "Hey... Everything's alright?"

"Yeah. Everything's alright. And with you?"

"Well... apart from what my parents and Inquisitor Herondale told me after their Council meeting yesterday... Quite alright, too, yes."

At his mention of Consul Blackthorn's death, Clary couldn't help herself from looking down, taking a pained breath. "It's awful what happened to him. I still can't believe it."

"Yes, it is. And it certainly left us with some problems to solve. And some questions that need an answer – soon. Or else I'm not quite sure what'll happen next."

Of course Clary knew that he was right. That message on the wall of the hall of Accords, written in the Consul's blood, promising Shadowhunters that their end was near. What was that even supposed to mean? Did someone want to slaughter all of them? But why? And if it was one of their own... Who would want to destroy the race of Shadowhunters? They were the only thing keeping this world safe from an invasion of demons.

Without them, no one could live.

Without them, this world would have been completely destroyed long ago.

"But let's talk about something nicer, shall we? We could start by me telling you how lovely you look today."

Clary looked up to Jace, surprised. She couldn't stop herself from blushing – Dear Lord, why did she have to blush every single freaking time when someone complemented her? – and smiling shyly at him. "Thank you." She had never been complimented by someone other than her brother or her parents, but that didn't really count. But a boy saying she looked lovely... Clary couldn't stop her heart from beating faster inside her chest.

When they got to Alicante, Jace looked around himself. "It feels so long since I've last been here. I think I was 12 or 13 then, not quite sure. My grandmother said I've grown so much since then."

Laughing, Clary said, "Well, you clearly don't look like you're 12. I can guarantee you as much."

Jace flashed her a bright grin. "So... tell me, how is it, living in Idris?"

"Well..." Clary shrugged. "I suppose it's not different from living in any other country. Apart from that this is a country the mundies aren't aware of, of course. And... well... Alicante isn't that big of a city. It clearly is nothing like London, I guess."

"Have you ever been to London?"

Clary shook her head, sad. "No. To be honest, I have never been anywhere else than Idris. Idris is my home ever since I can remember."

"That's how I feel about London," he told her. "I haven't lived anywhere else than London my entire life. Of course I've been to Idris a few times, but nowhere else. And now I'm living here... It is kind of a change, but I think I could be adjusting very well." Jace watched her when they walked side by side around Alicante, though both of them seemed to want to avoid walking by the Hall of Accords. Clary always tried to get that picture out of her mind. That message on the wall, written in blood... She didn't even want to imagine how horrible it must look and the poor Consul.

"I would love to go to London someday." Clary said. "You know, I really like living in Idris, it's great. But still... sometimes I just..." When Clary realized that she was about to tell Jace something she had never told anyone else before – not even her brother – she hesitated for a moment, not sure if she should really tell him. But as she looked up to him, when she saw how interested he seemed to be in what she was telling him, it encouraged her to go on. "Sometimes I just wish I could get away. You know? I just want to visit different places, meet different people. It would be so cool to just live in one of those big cities – like London. I imagine that it's nothing like Alicante."

"I think you'd like London. You know, that city has so much history to it and yet it is quite modern at the same time..." When Clary looked at him, laughing, he frowned at her. "Why are you laughing?" "Well, you sound like a tour guide or something!"

At that, Jace had to laugh as well. He figured that she was right. He did sound like a tour guide. "Well... What I wanted to say was that London's a great city. Though I know where you're coming from. I understand why you'd like to travel, to see the world. Though I doubt that I will ever have the chance to travel the world."

"Why d'you think that?"

"Well... Someday my father will no longer be the Head of the London Institute. And the last few decades, the ones to be in charge of the London Institute had always been a Herondale. The Inquisitor had trained my dad to be the Head of the Institute, just like her father had trained her before. My father became Head of the London Institute quite soon because my grandmother became Inquisitor and had to move back to Idris. So I just think that one day I'll become Head of the London Institute as well. Or I want to be, really. It'd be an honor."

And maybe, Jace thought, he'd become Head of the London Institute rather sooner than later. If Imogen succeeded in her plans to make Stephen the new Consul, someone would have to take over the Institute and if his father didn't want to give it up to the Penhallows completely, the one being in charge of it would have to be Jace.

As much as that thought got him excited, it scared him at the same time as well.

Clary watched him for a long moment in silence. She wondered how that must feel like. Knowing what your destiny would be your whole life. Of course every Shadowhunter knew what their destiny was – it was their birth right, their sacred duty, given to them by the Angel Raziel himself, to fight against demons, protect mankind against them. But in Jace's case, it was somehow different. Every Shadowhunter could go where they wanted to go. But Jace couldn't just leave. He needed to stay in London. He had known for years now that he would become the Head of the London Institute, no matter if he wanted to or not.

"That sounds... wonderful." she said, even though she wasn't quite sure if she really meant it. Jace looked at her and for a moment both of them said nothing, they just looked into each other's eyes. Green eyes meeting golden ones. And Clary thought that maybe Jace knew exactly what she'd been really thinking. That maybe he sometimes felt like that, even though he would never say so to anyone.

It was Jace who broke away from her glance, then, taking a deep breath. Clary looked down at the floor, feeling her heart beating fast. Somehow she was disappointed that he wasn't looking at her like that anymore.

"Yes. It is wonderful. Though right now I think every Shadowhunter who's available needs to be in Idris. Who knows what might still happen... After what happened to the Consul, I think we need to prepare."

"Prepare for what?"

"For whatever darkness might be coming."

Clary frowned, before saying, "My father had said something quite similar to that."

Jace grinned at that. "Well. Sounds like your father might be a smart man."

Clary grinned, too, and when they both started walking down the street again, she noticed two other girls who walked by staring at Jace. They leaned in closer to each other, pointing at Jace and giggling. Clary couldn't stop herself from frowning. Somehow she didn't like that these two girls had been checking Jace out. "Those girls are staring at you."

His grin got even bigger at that. He looked at Clary and didn't even try to hide the smug expression on his face. "Of course they are," he said, sounding as if Clary was stupid for even pointing out that these girls had been staring at him. "I'm stunningly attractive. So why shouldn't they be staring at me? In fact, I think you are not staring enough at me..."

Clary just rolled her eyes and shook her head, laughing before she boxed him on the arm playfully.

"You're way too full of yourself, Herondale."

"Why, Morgenstern, you can act annoyed all you want, but I know that you're attracted to me being full of myself."

They had spend a few hours in Alicante, just walking around the city, drinking coffee and eating muffins. Only after Clary had said her goodbyes to him when they had started going back into the countryside – though they planned to meet again soon – did Jace realize that she hadn't introduced him to her friends, even though that was what he'd asked her to do. Jace couldn't help but grin when he started to take off to his home. He had to admit that he wasn't unhappy about that he'd spent the day with Clary, and only with her.

That was when Jace heard a sound behind him. Suddenly at alert, he turned around, looking around himself to navigate from where that sound had come from.

In that moment someone came out of the shadow of a large oak tree. A boy with pale hair, it almost looked white, and black eyes. He walked towards Jace, looking at him with eyes that blazed like black fire.

"You need to stay away from my sister. Or else I might have to cut you in half."

* * *

**Now Jace's in trouble, don't you think?  
Since I kinda love the Sneak Peek-y thing, I decided to give you again a glimpse of what's to come in the next chapter - we'll meet two very attractive and badass Shadowhunters!**

"By the Angel!" Jace exclaimed just as shocked as both of them looked. "I can't... I mean... How the hell didn't I realize that it was you right from the start?"

"Well" Izzy said, grinning widely at him. "Maybe I didn't recognize you at once because you're not that sweet and childish looking boy anymore. I mean – if it wouldn't feel like I would be hitting on a relative of mine, I could almost think that you have turned into a pretty smoking hot looking Shadowhunter."

**Please leave a review. I'm having so, so, so much fun writing this story and since quite a lot of people seem to follow that story, it would mean the world to me if you took the time to leave a quick review.**


	7. Jealousy

Thank you so much for your reviews! I decided to put the next chapter online and maybe I'll even post the next one on Sunday or next week, I'm not sure yet. Tomorrow I will go see City of Bones with unbroken dreams. The movie has only come out here in Germany yesterday and I'm so, so, so excited!

**The Worm in the Apple - **Both your wishes, Jace beating Jonathan up and kissing Clary (though not in that order), might be granted later in the story!  
**isob3l - **No, Jace will certainly not be scared off by Clary's big brother, won't he? xD  
**50shadeslover **- I think Jonathan has a certain talent for ruining perfect moments!  
**iohito - **Thank you! Hope you'll like this one just as much!  
**Guest - **Well, can't say much about that at this point, but there'll certainly be Jonathan/Clary scenes. 

* * *

**Chapter 7 » Jealousy  
**Jace looked at the boy standing in front of him, frowning. "And you are...?" he just asked, even though he suspected who he was. Since he'd only gotten to know one person in Idris, that boy must be Clary's brother.

"I am Jonathan Morgenstern. Clary's older brother." he said. "And I will tell you that only one time. You will not lay a single hand on my sister or I will end you. You will stay the hell away from her. She doesn't need a boy in her life to influence her. Got that?"

Jace couldn't help but stare at Jonathan, shocked. At the same time he felt the urge to burst out laughing. Clary's brother looked seriously outraged, furious with Jace for spending time with his sister. He didn't have any brothers or sisters and Jace wondered if he would be just as protective of them if he had. But he couldn't imagine that he would be as crazy as this boy was. Jace and Clary didn't do anything except for spending some time together.

"Calm down, okay? I haven't planned on laying a hand on her or doing anything else." _And even if I did, I sure as hell wouldn't tell you. _"Your sister and I are just friends. We have only met yesterday. And, besides, I don't think that you have any saying in what your sister does and doesn't do. It's adorable how protective you are of her, but Clary seems like a girl who can take care of herself."

"Plus," he added, not even flinching away from him an inch, "I will surely not stay away from Clary. She's nice and we had fun together. Why should I abandon a blossoming friendship?"

Maybe he shouldn't have been as provocative as he was, but Jace thought that Jonathan's behavior was ridiculous, even for an older brother who felt overprotective of his little sister. He seemed to really be despised by the thought of Jace and Clary. He almost seemed... _jealous_.

Jonathan glared at him and in this moment Jace was pretty sure that he was about to hit him, that he would attack him if he had any weapons on him... But in that moment two people came up from behind Jonathan, a black-haired boy and girl. "Jonathan", the girl said. "Leave him alone. You're exaggerating things a little now."

The almost-white-haired boy turned around, looking at the newcomers which seemed familiar to Jace. He was pretty sure that he'd met them before, he just couldn't quite put his finger on it.

"I don't think that any of this is your business, Isabelle."

"Well – maybe not", the boy cut in, glaring at Jonathan. "But should you try to attack him, it's three against one. I don't think that you would want that, Morgenstern, wouldn't you?"

Jonathan seemed to be even more furious at that. He looked from the boy and the girl – who must be, Jace suspected, siblings – back to Jace. "Don't think that I'm done with you. If I see you again with my sister..." He turned around at that and walked away from them.

Jace looked after him for a few seconds, before turning to the siblings again. "Well that was... uhm..." He wasn't quite sure how to put it into words.

"Don't worry." the boy said. "Morgenstern is a little creep. To be honest, though, I wouldn't have even thought that his sister spent time with someone else besides him. They're together most of the time."

"Well, his sister isn't certainly that creepy. Not that I've noticed at least. But since you two saved me from being cut in half by that lunatic – although I'm sure I would have beaten him by myself anyway but still – I'm quite thankful for you showing up." Of course he would've been able to kick that creepy guy's ass if it had come to a fight. But Jace wasn't sure if he actually wanted to fight Jonathan, even though he was more than mad at him. He had no idea what was even wrong with that guy.

He took a deep breath before introducing himself, "I'm Jace Herondale. And it's a pleasure to meet you."

Before the black-haired siblings introduced themselves, the girl just stared at him for a moment, surprise and shock written across her face. "By the Angel! Of course! I _knew _you were familiar. I just... How did I not realize this until now? I'm Isabelle Lightwood... And this is my brother, Alec. We know each other. Don't you remember? We lived at the Institute in London a few years back."

Suddenly Jace remembered – and he felt stupid for not realizing why these two had seemed so familiar to him at once. He remembered exactly who they were. Alec and Isabelle Lightwood. A few years ago – Jace had been around 12 – Robert and Maryse Lightwood had come to the Institute with their children. It had been the first time for Jace to have a real friend – a friend that was also a boy. There was Aline, of course, the Penhallow's daughter, but he'd never liked her that much.

When Alec came, though, things had changed. And he'd even gotten along with Isabelle. She had felt like a sister to him, more than Aline Penhallow ever had. Then there was their little brother Max, of course, who they'd chased around the Institute so often.

Jace remembered how the three of them had started to train together, how they had sneaked out of the Institute so often to go hunting down demons – his father had been pretty pissed when he found out that his 12-year-old son was on the hunt for demons with his 12-and-11-year-old friends.

Alec, though, had been something special to him. He'd become his best friend.

And if they'd had more time together... Who knew. Maybe they would even have become _Parabatai_.

They had lived at the Institute for about a year before Isabelle and Alec's parents had to leave again. They'd had to go back to Idris. He remembered that the Lightwoods had a lot of business to do around the world so they never stayed in one place for too long.

"By the Angel!" Jace exclaimed just as shocked as both of them looked. "I can't... I mean... How the hell didn't I realize that it was you right from the start?"

"Well" Izzy said, grinning widely at him. "Maybe I didn't recognize you at once because you're not that sweet and childish looking boy anymore. I mean – if it wouldn't feel like I would be hitting on a relative of mine, I could almost think that you have turned into a pretty smoking hot looking Shadowhunter."

Before Jace could even react to that, she had flung her arms around him, hugging him tightly. He looked over her shoulder at Alec, who still hadn't said anything. Alec looked like he couldn't believe what he was seeing right before his eyes.

When he let go of Isabelle, Jace stepped closer to Alec, almost moving cautiously. "I thought that we'd never see each other again. Or that it would take... well... years. I mean, it has been like... 5 or almost 6 years." He smiled, and it wasn't that facade of a smile Jace put on around other people so often – it was a real smile. Here they were, these two people he remembered from his childhood, the only two people who he'd ever called his friends.

And they'd been taken away from him too soon.

Maybe he hadn't realized that it was them at first because he had not want to. Because if he had been wrong, it would have hurt way too much. Like losing the only two friends he'd ever had all over again.

Alec and Jace stared at one another for a long moment in silence, before both of them reached out to each other and hugged. It wasn't like when Isabelle had hugged him – they were both men, for that matter, but Jace could almost feel what Alec was thinking because it was the same what he'd been thinking.

_I missed you._

_I'm happy to see you again._

_I'm happy to see my best friend again. The only friend I ever had._

"What are you doing here in Idris?" Alec asked him then. The three of them had started walking without really realizing it. "Well, the Inquisitor requested my parents and me to come here because of what had happened with the Consul. She wants my father's help. So we have left someone else in charge of the London Institute for the time we'll be here."

"So you live here now?" Alec and Isabelle beamed at him. It felt like it hadn't been years since they had last seen each other. It felt like nothing had changed at all, except that they were a little older now.

It felt amazing.

"Yeah. I guess I do. What about you? Still traveling the world?"

"No. Our parents work here most of the time now." Alec said and Jace couldn't stop himself from grinning. He would never have expected to meet Alec and Isabelle again when he'd moved to Idris. He hadn't even looked forward to moving to Idris.

And now that he was here, he'd found his two best friends in the world again.

He hadn't even realized how much he had missed them until now.

"Looks like we could be re-starting things now, huh?"

Isabelle laughed. "Well, I think this time all these demons and bastards who kill consuls need to be even more careful when they try to mess with us."

* * *

It had only been a few minutes after Clary had come home to find that no one was there, that the door opened again and her brother stepped inside. Clary was sill in such a good mood after she'd spend the day with Jace. It felt so good, truly good to just spend time with someone else than her brother. To be with someone else for a change, someone she didn't know that much, someone who surprised her, who told her things she had yet to learn about...

Jace was fascinating. Clary didn't know what that feeling was that flew through her whole body whenever she thought of him or if maybe she was being caught up in one of her dream worlds again. Maybe she was just imagining this affection she felt for him since they had only met yesterday... Still, Clary _wanted _to see him again. She wanted to get to know him better, learn more about him.

She turned around to her brother, smiling at him, not even thinking about the way he'd reacted to her going out with a friend this morning. Clary thought that everything was okay between them again – that he'd just been a little too worried at the prospect of not being able to protect Clary because she didn't want him to once.

"Hey Jonathan..." she began, but when she noticed her brother's expression, Clary was struck by silence. He looked deadly, like he was about to murder someone. His onyx-colored eyes were even darker than they usually were – they looked like black holes and Clary was afraid of falling into them, falling and never seeing the light of day again... He looked at her for a moment, before approaching her. He didn't say a single word and when he stood before her, he shoved her against the kitchen counter.

"Jonathan..." Clary gasped. "What the heck is wrong with you?" He was so close, too close. Jonathan grabbed her arms and hold them firm against the kitchen counter so she couldn't push him away from her. He touched her with his whole body; his legs were pressed against hers, she felt his stomach pressing against her, his eyes locking with hers, his face so, so, so strangely close to hers...

"You. Will. Not. See. That. Guy. Again."

* * *

**Clary's a little bit in trouble now, don't you think?**

Let me know what you thought of this chapter in the reviews! Until next time, then, Shadowhunters!


	8. Heavy In Your Arms

Oh my goodness! So many reviews for the last chapter! You guys rock!

**Guest:** I hope I will get even more reviews! Thank you!**  
iohito: **Just be patient. We'll see things from his POV as well, I've planned that.**  
shannie83: **She will - but again, you'll need to be a bit more patient. And I'm SO happy that you realized that Jonathan's body language means, because that was what I was trying to indicate.**  
50shadeslover: **Well, Alec isn't necessarily in love with Jace, though he's gay. And I love Magnus, too! I'll give you a hint: Since I have mentioned before that Magnus is friends with the Herondales, we might get to see him! ;-)**  
Guest: **You surely will be pleased with Clary in this chapter.**  
isob3l: **Oh yes, he's creepy as hell. Hope you'll like this chapter!**  
The Worm in the Apple: **As you wish, dear! ;-)**  
MissXAmulet: T**hey probably won't stop seeing each other, will they?**  
Haruhi23: **Finally someone who likes Jonathan! Aw!**  
Daisy125: **Thanks so much!**  
Kezz: **I will keep writing!

In some other news that are not regarding this fanfiction, I would like to tell you guys that I've started writing another story with my best friend unbroken dreams. When she was with me on the weekend and after we had watched City of Bones (twice in one day - God, the movie is so so so awesome!) we had stayed up the whole night planning this story after the idea had hit us so hard. It's also an AU and we will post it on another account. It would mean the world to both of us if you would check it out - it's a Clace, Malec and Sizzy fanfic! Please take a look at it. So, that was enough of self commercial. If you're interested, check it out:

**City of Dying Dreams  
** /s/9650911/1/City-of-Dying-Dreams

* * *

**Chapter 8 » Heavy In Your Arms  
**Shocked, almost frightened, Clary looked at her brother. "What are you doing?" She slowly recovered from her shock and tried to push against him, tried to shove him away from her. Even though Clary was a good fighter, she was not as strong as her brother was – he didn't even need that much strength to keep her pinned between him and the kitchen counter. Instead, he only moved closer to her and parted both her legs with his, pinning her even firmer against the counter.

"Jonathan" Clary gasped. "You're scaring me..."

"Shut up!" He didn't even try to sound calm. "I don't want you to meet that guy again. That Herondale. Do you understand me? You're my sister and you will do as I say! You will not spend another minute with that little asshole!"

Clary wasn't scared anymore. She was mad, furious actually. What the hell was he even thinking? She wanted to hit him, wanted to hurt him for thinking that he could tell her what to do. What was his problem? Clary couldn't understand why he was so much against her meeting with someone. It couldn't have anything to do with wanting to protect her anymore.

What Jonathan was doing right now was crazy. He wasn't the caring, protecting brother she loved with all her heart anymore. He was frightening. He looked at her like he'd just lost his mind. There was something in his eyes she couldn't quite figure out. It felt so strange, having him look at her like this. Having him look at her like he wanted to crush his body even more against hers, as if he wanted to make them into one person...

With all her strength and might she pushed against her brother again, pressing hard against him, trying to hurt him so he would let go of her. But he didn't. His breath came out in gasps as he tried to wrestle her against the kitchen counter once more.

"Why are you fighting me Clary?"

"Because _you _are ridiculous! Let go of me! You're hurting me!"

For a moment Clary thought that he would actually let go of her, but he didn't. Instead he just asked, "Will you promise that you won't see him again?"

"No!" Clary snapped, now all her wrath surfacing at once. "I don't even know what the hell is going on with you! It is MY business if I decide to meet with someone, if I decide to spend time with someone! I can have friends, too, you know! That's what you've been doing for years now... Don't you think I didn't realize this just because I always was your little sister, following you everywhere you go, just because I'd liked spending most of my time with you? But YOU have your own friends as well, but somehow you always managed to destroy a friendship of mine even before it had really begun!"

"He doesn't want to be just friends with you!"

"So what? What if he doesn't want to be just friends? It is none of your business! You can't tell me whom I'm allowed to date!"

At that, Jonathan was even more furious. He shoved her back against the kitchen counter so hard it actually hurt. He pressed himself against her more tightly and closed his arms around her waist, still having her hands in tight grips so she couldn't use them to fight him off.

"I can and I will! You have _always _enjoyed spending time with me! We have always been together, ever since we were kids. Just you and me, Clary. You and me against everyone else, don't you remember? Yeah, I did have a few other friends, but I never... I... never enjoyed being with them as much as I enjoyed being with you!

"Other people only hurt you Clary! Don't you get that? Are you too mesmerized by his good locks to see that he'll only use you and then throw you away? Because that's what guys like him do!"

"You're crazy Jonathan!" she cried, still trying to shove him away. The effort was so much that her own breath was ragged now, coming out in gasps. "It's not like I'm already thinking about dating him. But that isn't the point! All I want is to just meet with some friends. To _have _friends. You know that this doesn't mean I won't be spending time with you anymore. But we can both do what we want. We don't need to be together all the time. Stop being so overprotective of me! There's no need for you to worry about me. I can take care of myself! And, frankly, after the way you just treated me, I wouldn't even want you to be near me at the moment!"

At that Jonathan looked at her, shocked, taken aback. It seemed like he only now realized how close he was to Clary, how painful his grips on her hands must be, how much it must pain her back to be pressed this hard against the wood of the kitchen counter... "I just don't want you to get hurt. I love you too much to risk that you'll get hurt by someone who doesn't even deserve your attention..."

His words were barely more than a whisper. Clary didn't really listen to him, though, because she had enough of it. She was too concentrated on pressing her body against his and then, finally, his grip on her was losing...

Clary shoved Jonathan away from her with so much strength that he fell to the floor. She was so furious, anger pumping through her veins like poison, that she was on top of him before he could even move. She pinned his arms next to his head and glared at him, breathing hard. "No one is going to hurt me. The only person who has just hurt me is _you_. My brother who allegedly cares so much about me. I will do whatever the hell I want. Got that? I will not have my big brother make choices for me and I certainly will not have you threaten me!"

For a moment they both stared at each other, green and black eyes blazing with fire. Then, all of a sudden, Jonathan turned around and smashed Clary to the floor with all his might. Her head slammed on the hard floor and for a moment she saw stars blinking before her eyes. He was on top of her before she could even realize what had just happened.

"You know, Clarissa, you look stunning when you're angry. This is exactly like some of our games when we train."

Clary gritted her teeth. "But when we play games you never hurt me."

Her heart was racing inside her chest. She was so mad at him – but at the same time Clary was scared. She'd never seen her brother act like this before. He'd been too protective of her for years now, he'd always tried to keep her from getting hurt, from making her own decisions and he'd sometimes exaggerate it, but he'd never used violence to make her do what he wanted.

When she'd been younger, she had loved having Jonathan as a big brother. He'd always be there for her, he'd always make sure that nothing happened to her. He would train with her, they had become Shadowhunters together. They had gone hunting demons together with their father.

But she had never done something just because only she had wanted it. Jonathan was always with her, she would only do what he approved of.

He wasn't protective, Clary realized all of a sudden, as if that realization had been with her for quite some time now, though only in this moment did she make herself see clearly.

He was possessive.

"Better I hurt you than anyone else."

At that, Clary's anger came back at once. She smashed her knee against him – at exactly that point where it would hurt most. Jonathan groaned in pain and for a moment Clary regretted doing that, hurting her brother. But than she remembered what he'd just done to her, how he'd treated her, how he'd threatened her to do what he wanted her to do and how he'd hurt her... And she was happy she'd make him suffer.

He rolled off of her and Clary jumped to her feet. She looked down at her brother, still furious. "Remember, Jonathan – I can hurt you just as good. You will not tell me what to do or who to see. This is my life, not yours, and I will not let you treat me like this! You're not protective of me... You're just... I don't even know what you are! But remember what you said only yesterday. I am quite capable of kicking someone in their balls!"

Jonathan glared at her angrily, but he was still in too much pain to even bring one word out. Clary turned around and almost fled outside.

Clary wasn't quite sure where she even want to go. She just ran, ran as far away from her home as possible... She still couldn't quite understand what Jonathan had done. Her brother had never treated her this disrespectful. He'd never hurt her. But the way he had just acted... How he had willingly hurt her, how he'd willingly caused her pain just because he hoped she would obey him then.

It was sick.

So sick and... Clary was at a loss for words. He was her brother.

She loved him.

When she'd been a little girl, Clary had always looked up to her older brother. He'd been like a hero to her. She'd wanted to be like him. When she'd started to train to become a Shadowhunter, she had looked up to him more than to her parents. She had wanted to fight like he did. She had wanted to become a fierce and strong warrior.

She knew that Jonathan often let her win their little staged fights when they practiced together. She knew that he wanted her to feel like she could beat him, like she was stronger than he was, even though both of them knew that Clary was not.

Today, though, she had beat him. And it hadn't been a fight to practice. She had hurt him because he'd hurt her. Her own brother, shoving her painfully against the kitchen counter, smashing her head on the floor.

Clary only realized where she'd been headed to when she stood in front of the Herondale manor house. She stared at it for a long moment, taking a deep breath. The red-head wasn't sure if she should go to Jace, if she should bother him with her problems... But there was no one else she could go to. That was simply because Clary didn't have anyone else.

She could just tell her mother, but at the same time, Clary couldn't. And she knew that.

Taking a deep breath, she walked up to the front door and without taking another second to think about what she was doing, Clary knocked on the door.

Only a few seconds passed before the door was opened. Clary let out a sigh of relief when she saw that it was Jace who'd opened the door. She wasn't sure if she would have brought out one word if his mother, father or even the Inquisitor herself had opened the door. Jace looked at her, surprised about seeing her this soon after they'd just met.

"Clary... Hey." He smiled at her. "Is something wrong?" The smile left his face when he looked at her more closely, when he noticed how devastated she was.

"Yes. Certainly." she breathed. "Can we... I mean... do you have time to... talk? In private?"

Jace looked at her in silence for a moment longer, before nodding. He just stepped outside and closed the door behind him. They went alongside each other for a few moments longer, before Clary stopped and looked up to Jace. She still wasn't sure how to tell him what she wanted to tell him.

"I have a brother. And he is..."

"... not very thrilled about you and me seeing each other." Jace finished for her. At that, Clary raised her eyebrows questioningly at him. "How did you know?" she asked, not even comprehension in that moment what he'd said meant.

"Well, after we'd parted ways earlier, he came up to me. He wasn't very... How shall I put that?... He was a sick bastard and seemed to be quite out of his mind. Strange fellow. He threatened me. He said I should stop seeing you or else he would – yes, he said these exact words – _cut me in _half. Very charming. I cannot understand how a delicate, nice girl like you could be related to... someone like that."

Clary stared at Jace. She couldn't quite believe what he'd just told her. On the other hand, though, she maybe should have expected Jonathan to do something like this after how he'd just treated her.

"He threatened me, too," Clary whispered. Jace looked at her, shocked, not joking anymore. "He did _what_?" he asked her, disbelief mirroring his expression. "Threatening the guy who your little was out with is one guy – he really was creeping the hell out of me, but him being your big brother, well, maybe he's just a bit too overprotective. But threatening you, his little sister... That is just _sick_. What the hell is wrong with that guy? I will talk to him... By the Angel, no, _I _shall be the one to cut him in half instead the other way around!"

"Jace!" Clary had, without really realizing what she was doing, stretched out her hand to him. She touched his arm and he looked down to her, stuck by silence. For a moment they looked at each other and Clary felt like her skin had ignited again, it felt just like that first time yesterday when their skin had touched. . .

"You don't need to talk to Jonathan or, well, rather cut him in half. I know how to handle my brother. What he said and what he did..." Swallowing hard, Clary just shook her head. "I've never had friends, you know. He just wouldn't let me. We spend most our time together. He always said that he wanted to protect me. That he didn't want me to get hurt. He was – is like my best friend. But sometimes I still felt lonely. I only ever had him and for most of my life, it seemed like it was enough. But part of me knew it wasn't. And what he did now... It's like I don't even recognize him anymore. Or maybe I do and I would only never let myself see the real him. He said that he was the only one who would never hurt me. But now he'd hurt me."

They looked at each other. Clary felt so exhausted, suddenly, so profoundly broken. "I don't know what to think anymore." She didn't know why she was telling Jace all this. It just felt right. It felt like she could tell him anything, like they'd known each other for years, rather than two days. She just felt comfortable telling him what she felt right now, how confused and desperate she felt.

Maybe she was silly for feeling this way, but right now Clary felt safe with him.

"Whatever purpose there is in him treating you that way, he is wrong. Of course he should care about you and maybe big brothers are supposed to scare off guys that want to be close to their little sisters." At that Jace grinned at her and even though Clary didn't feel like it, she had to smile. "But that doesn't give him the right to threaten you. Or to try to keep you from going out, meeting people... living your life."

Clary looked at him, still feeling insecure. "I won't stop seeing you, you know." she said quietly. "It doesn't matter what he wants."

Jace seemed to sense how desperate she still felt, although she tried to act confident. He reached her hands out to him and when he took her in his arms, Clary let him. For a moment she even closed her eyes, forgetting all that was happening around her, and let herself the enjoy the feeling of being held by Jace Herondale.

Both of them didn't realize that they were being watched by two people in the Herondale manor house.

"Is that...? The girl looks strangely familiar." Stephen said, looking at his son holding that girl in his arms in the distance. They hadn't quite reached the woods so they were still clearly visible from the manor's kitchen window.

"That is Valentine Morgenstern's daughter." the Inquisitor informed her son.

The Inquisitor took a deep breath before turning away from the window. "I rather would not have our Jace spending time with her. Because for all I know, these Morgensterns are strange people. I don't trust her father. And Jace shouldn't trust her."

* * *

**What could that even mean? What does the Inquisitor have against the Morgensterns?**

You might find out soon!


	9. Nightmares

You guys are simply amazing! I'm having tons of fun writing this story and since school is starting tomorrow - which is quite depressing - I decided to put the next chapter online sooner than I'd wanted to. Reading your reviews makes me so happy, so hopefully I have something to look forward to tomorrow.

In this chapter, we have some Clary/Jonathan. Maybe this will make you wonder if Jonathan really has no heart at all or if, maybe, there still might be something good to him...

Also, because I like to torture you so much, two chapters from this one (in Chapter 11) will have a HUGE Clace moment! I hope you're ready for that, Shadowhunters!

* * *

**Chapter 9 » Nightmares  
**These past few weeks Clary had tried to stay away from her brother as much as possible, even though it wasn't that easy since they lived together. Clary even suspected that her mother had already sensed that something was wrong between them, though she had not yet tried to talk to her about it. Her brother and Clary barely even talked to each other anymore. Jonathan left her alone, just as Clary tried to ignore him. Maybe he was still pissed at her for kicking him or he'd just gotten it into his head that she didn't want him to decide over her life.

Whatever might be going on with him, Clary was glad that he left her alone.

She had spent a lot of time with Jace, but not only with him. He'd introduced her to his friends – Isabelle and Alec Lightwood. It was quite astonishing that he'd managed to make friends in only a few days, whereas she had been living for over sixteen years in Idris and had never been able to make one single friend until Jace had shown up.

But, well, of course Isabelle and Alec didn't count because he'd known them before he had even gotten to Idris.

Clary had only ever seen the Lightwood siblings occasionally, though they'd never talked to each other. She had even envied Isabelle a lot of times – that girl was too gorgeous for words and when Clary had learned that Jace knew both of them from his childhood, that he was such good friends with them, she'd been a little worried that there might be something more between Isabelle and him.

But having watched them together so often now, Clary knew that there was nothing to worry about. Jace treated Isabelle like she was his sister. When they were around each other, they acted like brother and sister – all three of them, actually. There was so much history between them, Clary could almost touch it.

The first time all four of them had hung out together, Alec had admitted to Clary that he'd thought that she was odd – just because her brother was odd, too. Why, Clary couldn't really hold it against him. He was right, of course. After what Jonathan had done, she had come to realize that her brother was indeed _odd_.

Still Clary missed spending time with him. As much as she despised him right now, she also missed how things between them used to be.

But Clary enjoyed spending time with Jace, Alec and Isabelle. She'd never had friends and now she met them almost every day. Her parents had noticed, of course. Clary thought that maybe that was the reason why Jocelyn didn't ask her what was going on between her and Jonathan. Maybe she just thought that Clary liked to spend more time with her new friends now than with her brother.

Though Isabelle and Alec weren't with them every day, Jace and Clary were alone a lot. But that didn't bother her, either. Clary could not pretend like she didn't feel her heartbeat quicken every time she saw Jace. She could not pretend like she didn't like the way it felt when they were sitting next to each other, almost close enough to touch.

When Clary came home that day after spending it with Isabelle, Alec, and Jace, her mother was in the kitchen, looking up and smiling when she saw her. "How was your day, honey?"

"It was great. We spent some time at the lake."

"You really need to bring your friends over to dinner sometime. I would like to get to know them better."

Clary had not yet told her parents with whom exactly she was hanging out – she didn't think that they knew neither the Herondales, nor the Lightwoods that well, so she hadn't bothered with telling them their names.

She wondered how Jace and Jonathan would react to it if they'd be forced to spend an evening together. Though Clary didn't mention anything of that to her mother. She just smiled and nodded. "Sure. I will do that sometime."

Before Clary could go to her room, Jocelyn called after her, "Clary... I've been meaning to ask you something. It's about your brother."

Clary turned around to look at her mother. "What is it?"

"Well. You know I'm happy that you're hanging out with some people know. I mean... you've never had that many friends, I've noticed that. To be entirely honest, I'd always been a little worried about that. I knew that you could be quite shy around other people and there was a time, especially when you were a child, when you would only open up to me or – foremost – to your brother. But the past two, three years I've watched you growing into a beautiful, fierce and strong young woman. As much as I like you to be my little girl forever, I know that you're growing up."

Jocelyn smiled at her daughter in awe – there was so much tenderness and love in the expression on her face, that Clary felt it in her heart.

"But I've also noticed that you don't spend time with your brother anymore. And you two would be inseparable at times. I always found it endearing how fond Jonathan is of you, how much he let you in into his life. He used to not hang out with other people so he would have more time for you. And even though I think it's good for both of you to have your separate circle of friends, I was just wondering... You two hardly talk to each other at dinner anymore. Did something happen? You can tell me everything Clary. If there's something wrong... If you two had a fight... You can tell me."

Clary looked at her mother. For a long moment she was tempted to tell her all about it – to tell her about Jonathan's crazy jealousy of Jace, to tell her how he'd threatened and hurt his sister he claimed he loved so much. But Clary didn't tell her any of these things. She just didn't know how. Or if it would be right to tell her.

"Everything's alright, mum. Jonathan and I haven't been in a fight. It's just... Well, I guess we don't have that much time for each other right now. You know. We're both... growing up. I guess. But everything's fine. Don't worry."

Clary smiled at her mother and Jocelyn smiled back, even though she didn't seem too convinced of what her daughter had just told her.

"I will go upstairs and take a shower." Clary announced and turned to leave. She didn't want to talk about her brother anymore. She couldn't even understand herself what had happened to Jonathan and her and even though Clary tried to be to indifferent about it, it hurt. It hurt even more than she could describe.

Jonathan might have disappointed her. He might have hurt her.

But he was still her brother.

He was still the one person she had felt closest to for all her life.

After what he'd done, though, it felt like there'd been a part of Jonathan he had always kept hidden from her. And Clary had no idea how to deal with that.

When Clary reached the upper floor of the house, she ran straight into Jonathan. He looked at her – and what she saw in his onyx-colored eyes shocked her. Jonathan looked hurt, furious and sad. All at the same time.

"Jonathan..." she started, but her brother caught her off, saying, "So we just grew up, huh? We grew up and that means I'm not a part of your life anymore. That means your new friends are better than I am. That they will be always there for you, even though I have been the one who's always been there. And I would be there still."

Clary took a deep breath. "You know exactly why I don't want to spend time with you right now and it has nothing to do with _growing up_." With that, Clary left him standing there. Only when she was in her room did she realize one thing that startled her – how had Jonathan even been able to listen in on her conversation with her mother when he'd been standing at the top of the stairs, too far away to eavesdrop, the whole time?

* * *

That night, after Clary had gone to bed, she dreamed about strange things. . .

She was in Alicante. There was fire all around her. People running around, screaming in agony... The whole city was burning. Everything was on fire. The flames seemed to consume it all. They seemed to want to devour the city, to burn it all to the ground until nothing would be left anymore.

_Jace_... she thought, panic growing inside her. She had to find Jace. She didn't know how, but she needed to find him. She didn't know how she even knew it, but she was certain that he was here somewhere.

"Jace..." she called out to him, running toward the flames instead of turning away from them. Clary knew that she could burn in here, knew that these flames must have been even more vicious and cruel than these that were burning in hell. Maybe this was hell's fire. Maybe dark creatures had climbed out of hell to destroy them once and for all time...

Maybe Lucifer himself had crawled out of hell to take what he might have thought was his. To show the Angel Raziel, to show his breed of Shadowhunters that there was only so little they could do. That they would never be able to protect this world truly from all the dangers that were out there – out there in other worlds, other dimensions so awful that Clary didn't even want to imagine them.

And then she saw him. Her heart sighed a breath of relief. "Jace..." Now Clary was only whispering his name. Even though the flames were all around her, she didn't have to choke on the smoke. She didn't even feel the heat.

When he turned to her, his golden eyes blazed like the flames all around him. And he smiled at her. But it wasn't that mischievous smile of his, nor that lovely, bright smile she had fallen for even more.

He smiled the way Clary had always imagined angels would smile. Cruel, cold-hearted, arrogant, without fear of what would happen to them because they knew they were superior to everyone.

He smiled the way Clary imagined an angel smiling just before it was about to Fall.

"I told you. Clary, don't you understand? The world is burning. _Everything _is burning. There's nothing you can do about it anymore."

"Jace..." All of a sudden her brother appeared just next to him. "Jonathan..."

All he said was, "Clary", just her name and looking at her out of black eyes that saw nothing, felt nothing. And then she saw the blade in his hand, she saw it shine when he slashed it at Jace . . .

"Jonathan! No! No! Don't please..." With a gasp Clary awoke. She sat up straight in bed, gasping for air, her heart racing inside her chest. She might have even screamed. Only then did she feel the hands on her shoulders, carefully stroking her, the soothing voice trying to calm her down. "Clary. It's okay. You've had a nightmare. It was only a nightmare. You're here with me. I'll protect you. It's fine. Calm down..."

Clary looked up to find her brother stare down at her. Unlike than in her dream, she could know see clearly what he was feeling in his black eyes – she saw how worried, scared he was about her. "Jonathan..." Clary whispered his name, slowly calming down. She took a deep breath and tried to relax but that turned out to be impossible because there was still too much adrenaline pumping through her veins.

"That dream was awful." she whispered. "There was fire everywhere and... Everything was burning and... You... you were there, too..." Clary tried to remember what Jace had said in her dreams, but the memories slipped away from her mind than water running through her hands. She frowned, trying to remember, but she was just too confused.

"It was just a nightmare." Jonathan repeated and even though they hadn't even been talking to each other these past few weeks, he sat in her bed next to her, pulling her close to him. And Clary let him. She thought about how many times they'd done that, especially when they were children. Jonathan used to be always be there when Clary awoke from a nightmare. He'd always hear her scream when she'd had a bad dream and before she even knew that she was back in reality, he would be there, trying to calm her down, holding her in his arms, whispering that everything was okay and that he was there to protect her.

Just like he was now. And they weren't kids anymore. But he was still there.

When she'd been younger, her father had once told her that nightmares were demons that slipped inside one's soul, trying to make a person go mad.

What inner demons might be hiding inside of her?

Clary didn't think about how disappointed she was in Jonathan now, how unsure she was of who he really was after what had happened. She didn't even think about how he'd hurt her.

Because right now, it didn't matter. Right now, it felt exactly like it had always felt to be held by him. She felt his strong arms closing around her waist, and when she leaned her head against his chest, she felt him resting his chin on the top of her head.

It felt so much like it _should _be feeling to be with her big brother. He was there for her, calming her down after waking up from a nightmare. That was how Clary had always seen him when she'd been small – her big brother, her hero, always protecting her.

And even though Clary knew that she was now just as capable of protecting herself than anyone else, right now she wanted to enjoy that feeling again, wanted to pretend like they were still kids, like nothing of these past few weeks had happened.

She wanted to trust him completely again.

"Do you remember how we often slept in the same bed when we were children?" Jonathan asked her and Clary just nodded. There had been a time when they were younger, when Jonathan had barely slept in his own bed because Clary had wanted her big brother to sleep in hers. They'd slept side by side.

"Do you want me to stay with you for the rest of the night?"

Clary hesitated for a moment, but then she nodded again. They laid down on the bed again. He pulled the blanked over them, though he made sure that Clary had most of it to herself. Then he slipped his arms around her again and Clary let him pull her closer to him. Her back rested against his chest and for a moment she felt his lips in her hair, whispering, "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for what I did to you. I'm so sorry for hurting you. I've never wanted to. I know you're mad at me. I'm so so so so so sorry Clary. I love you. You know that, right? I'm so sorry for causing you both physical and mental pain."

"Sh." It was Clary's turn now to reassure her brother. He hadn't told her that he felt sorry about being so jealous, about being so possessive of her – but he had told her that he was sorry for hurting her. Clary snuggled closer against her brother, she cupped her hands over his that rested on her stomach. "It's okay. I forgive you Jonathan." Her words were barely more than a whisper.

When he kissed the top of her head, Clary closed her eyes, and for the first time in years she still felt like a little girl again. Like a little girl that could only sleep safe and sound when her big brother was with her, protecting her from those demons that would slip inside your soul.


	10. Masquerade

Thank you so much for your awesome reviews! Since I'm pretty far already in writing this story, I've decided to put Chapter 10 online just a day after I've last updated. There are still 10 or 11 chapters I yet have to write, but it's so much fun and I love this story so much. It means a lot to me and it's even more encouraging if I read what you think about it.

I've had a pretty bad first day of school and I'm happy to have something to look forward to tomorrow - your reviews! Also, I can't wait for you guys to read the next chapter, so I think I'll update again soon.

**Guest** -I'll try my best to update as frequently as possible. Thank you!**  
isob3l - **Thanks so much! Though I have to admit that it's a lot of fun to write Jonathan.**  
The Worm in the Apple - **Oh, you're going to love Chapter 11 so much xD Hopefully this one, too.**  
blankmoments - **Can't say too much about that right now, though we will have another peaks at his more sensible side. Though right now, he is losing it more and more.**  
shannie83 - **He is xD But I love some brother/sister moments, too!**  
serene richmond - **Thank you so much! You didn't even need to wait that long, right? xD**  
BeccketAndCastle - **Aww! Someone's fangirling over my FF! That's so awesome! It's the best I could've hoped for when I started writing this story.

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**Chapter 10 » Masquerade  
**A few days after Clary's nightmare, the Morgenstern siblings were a lot friendlier towards each other. Even though Clary still kept some distance from Jonathan, they talked more to each other again, joking around like they did most of the time.

When the whole family sat at the breakfast table that morning, they were interrupted by a knock on the door. "I wonder who this might be, it's quite early for visitors." Jocelyn said while getting up and going to the door.

Only a few seconds later she returned with someone – a girl Clary would never have thought she would see inside her kitchen. She looked up to Isabelle Lightwood, surprised and too confused to even get a word out. Jonathan and Valentine looked up as well and her father – who seemingly didn't think that Isabelle might be here for Clary – looked over to his son, smiling mockingly. "Is there something you want to tell us, Jonathan?"

Clary, Isabelle, and Jonathan seemed to realize at the same moment what Valentine had meant. And at the same time, all of them blurted out, "Dating _him_? Sorry – I mean... No offense, but Jonathan..."

"I am _not _dating the Lightwood...-"

"Isabelle is here because of me." Three pairs of eyes locked on Clary when she said that. Taking a deep breath, she continued, "Isabelle is here because of me. We're... friends." She looked at Isabelle, who smiled encouragingly at her. Until now, Clary had just _assumed _that they were friends since they've spent so much time together, even though they both knew that they only did that because of Jace. They only spent time together when Jace was with them. The two of them never met alone.

If it weren't for Jace, they wouldn't even be talking to each other.

"Yes. I'm a friend of Clary's. And I'm here because I thought we could decide on some dresses together for the masquerade ball later. I have _so many dresses _and I just don't know which to put on. Besides, I was thinking that you might not have suitable dresses to wear for tonight, so I brought some for you, too!" Isabelle seemed really excited at the prospect of styling themselves for tonight. Only now did Clary notice the clothing bags hanging over her arm, waiting to be unzipped.

Clary couldn't quite understand why Isabelle wanted to do that with _her_. It wasn't like Clary had any sense of fashion – not like Isabelle had, obviously. Isabelle always looked gorgeous; she wore high heels (even when she killed demons), tight jeans and even tighter tops. Clary, on the other hand, liked casual clothing.

"I already have a dress for tonight... My mom bought it for me." Clary said lamely.

A masquerade ball took place tonight in the Hall of Accords. It had been planned for months and it certainly was one of the events every citizen of Idris had looked forward to. Even some Shadowhunters who didn't live in Idris would come here just for the feast. It would be a splendid and beautiful festivity. Clary imagined it like the balls people attended in Victorian England – beautiful, breath-taking, romantic.

There had been talk about canceling it after Consul Blackthorn's death, but eventually the Council had agreed on not canceling it since it would be a good opportunity for everyone to get their minds off of what horrible things had happened lately. There were still no new clues to what might have happened or who the murderer of Consul Blackthorn was – or, to be exact, there were _no _clues at all.

Clary had been looking forward to the ball, even though she would go with her family, but she would see Jace, Isabelle and Alec there. The thought of Jace in a tuxedo... Well, it made her feel a little dizzy.

"I'm sure the dress your mum has bought is great, but you can still try some of mine on, can't you? Come on, Clary! This is going to be so much fun! You know that I don't have any girl friends! Alec hadn't played dress up with me since we were five. And I can't just ask Jace to do that with me. That would be kinda awkward, don't you think?"

"Who is Jace?" Jocelyn asked, frowning.

Clary decided not to answer that question before getting up from the table. She took a look at Jonathan and her father. Valentine looked like he had to pull himself together not to start laughing, while her brother looked indifferent to everything that happened. Like he usually did. She wondered what he was thinking right now, if he was approved of Clary being friends with Isabelle. But it didn't matter.

If she was honest to herself, Clary was more than thrilled to have Isabelle here. To have her consider Clary as a real friend, someone she would go to when she had something on her mind – even if it was just about dresses.

"Sure. It'll be fun. Mum..." Clary turned to Jocelyn. "You won't be mad at me if I might not wear your dress, right?"

Jocelyn just smiled, shaking her head. "You two girls have fun."

Isabelle grinned at Clary and grabbed her arm before they went upstairs to her room. She threw her clothing bags on Clary's bad and zipped the first one up, taking the dress out and showing it to Clary. "What do you think of this one?" she asked her. It was bright red and looked more like a belt than an actual dress. "Uhm... Well... I think if you wear this one, you'll give the older men heart attacks."

Isabelle looked at the dress for a long moment as if she might be considering if she wanted to give old men heart attacks, before grinning and throwing it on the bed again. "You're right. I want to look sexy tonight, but not slutty. As for you... Hm... I think you should wear something classy, something romantic. That might be just the thing for you. I might even have something..."

She started rummaging through her clothing bags again. Clary watched her for a moment in silence, before asking, "So... What was that between Jonathan and you downstairs?"

Isabelle looked up, trying to look indifferent, though Clary knew that she was hiding something from her. "Don't try to act like it's nothing. Both of you looked pretty terrified when my dad thought that you're here because you might be dating him."

Sighing, Isabelle stopped rummaging through her dresses and sat on Clary's bed. "Well... There was this one time... It was at a party... I was drunk. _Really _drunk. And I think your brother was, too. He was at this party with some friends and I thought that he looked pretty hot. Well... we sort of started making out after a while."

When she saw the horrified look on Clary's face, she held up her hands defensively. "I'd like to repeat once again that I was _really freaking wasted_! Well – where was I? So, we were making out and I think that things might have gotten to... uhm... the next level... But he kept whispering strange things. I don't remember what he'd said, to be honest. I just remember that he'd called my by a name that wasn't mine. Kind of a mood killer, you know. He obviously made out with me while thinking of some other girl. It had been pretty loud in there and – as I had already mentioned – I was so drunk I couldn't think straight. I don't remember what name he'd called me, but I definitely remember that he'd called me something else. Not my name. We both seemed to realize that this made things kinda... uhm. Awkward. So we stopped making out and he fled and I just tried to forget this ever happened."

Isabelle took a deep breath. "So, I'm not saying your brother is weird or something except that he... is. I mean... Just a few weeks ago we caught him threatening Jace to _cut him in half _just because he'd been with you. That's a little over the top, isn't it?"

Clary just nodded. "That was more than over the top." she said quietly, wondering what other name it might have been his brother had called Isabelle when they had made out. She didn't want to imagine them making out, though.

Gross. Clary had never thought about her brother kissing someone or... having sex. Ew! No. Right until now she had even wondered if her brother ever had a girlfriend because he never brought girls home with him or even talked about them. She decided not to think about this any further because imagining her brother and Isabelle making out was disturbing.

Still. That girl he must have thought about while being with Isabelle seemed to mean a lot to him.

She wondered who she was, but she wouldn't ask Jonathan about it. She had always thought that they told each other everything. But he didn't seem to want to talk about his love life with his little sister.

But, why, Clary herself would never talk about her love life with Jonathan. But that was mostly because he got angry when she even said the word _dating _out loud.

"Ah... Here it is!" Isabelle grinned, obviously proud of herself, and pulled a dress from a clothing bag. She held it up for Clary to look at it and for a moment she felt breathless. It was so beautiful. Even more beautiful than Clary would have imagined. It was long and since Clary was quite short, she was sure that the hem of the dress would touch the floor if she wore it. It had a Victorian look to it; it was not puffy, but there even was a little trail at the back of the dress. It had long sleeves that would probably spread over her upper arms. The upper part of the dress was a tight bodice which had to be laced. It had a dark yellow, almost golden color to it.

It looked wonderful.

"I can't... I can't wear that, Isabelle..." Clary said, still breathless.

"Of course you can!" Isabelle said, seemingly delighted by the look of pure astonishment on Clary's face. "I wouldn't even wear it because I think it's not sexy enough. But you... You'll look perfect in it! Like a princess. I already know how we'll do your hair. And you know what? I think Jace will absolutely _love _you in it!"

At that, Clary blushed. She was sure that her face must be as red as her hair.

Isabelle laughed. "You don't need to pretend with me. I've seen the way you look at him. I'm not blind. So... what do you say? You want to wear it?"

Clary couldn't pretend like she didn't want to wear that dress. She wanted to wear it so bad. "Yes... Yes, I'd love to!"

Grinning, Isabelle laid the dress carefully back on the bed. "So that's settled, then. Now I only have to find the perfect outfit for myself..."

Clary went over to her bed and touched, almost cautiously, the fine cloth. "Isabelle," she said than, looking at the dark-haired girl. "If I talk to Jace tonight and... well... should we spend some time together... Jonathan probably won't be happy about it. I don't want him to cause a scene or to try and keep me away from Jace. I don't want him following me around tonight like I can't take care of myself. And... I wanted to ask you..."

Isabelle finished for her, "You meant to ask me if I could distract him a little so he well lose sight of you?"

"Yes. I mean. You don't have to spend the whole night with him. I would never ask that of you. But there'll be plenty of people and maybe if I manage to get out of his line of sight for a while, I might enjoy some of the evening in peace."

Isabelle just grinned at her and touched Clary's arm sympathetically. "Don't worry. I will make sure that he doesn't bother you."

* * *

Isabelle had stayed the whole day at the Morgenstern's. She had helped Clary put her dress on, made her hair and make-up as well as her own. She had pinned up her hair and didn't use too much make-up on Clary since she said that she looked naturally beautiful.

Isabelle looked stunningly beautiful herself. She wore a black dress without straps; the hem rested just above her knees and she wore such high heels which made Clary dizzy when she just looked at them.

Then their were their masks, of course. Isabelle's was as black as her dress, blazoned with feathers and pearls. Clary's wasn't as splendid, it was white with golden embroideries on it.

"Girls?" Clary heard her mother ask from downstairs when she had just put on her mask. "Are you ready?"

Isabelle and Clary looked at each other for a moment, before grinning wildly. They went downstairs then and when they entered the living room, Clary felt the gazes of her parents lingering on her – astonished, shocked, even. She heard her brother suck in his breath. For a moment they just stared at her. Her father was the first one to recover himself. He smiled at Clary. "You look beautiful, Clarissa – you look so mature. And the color of that dress..." He looked at Jocelyn then and there was such tenderness in his eyes Clary barely ever saw in them. "It reminds me of the color of your wedding dress, Jocelyn."

Jocelyn smiled as well, though she wasn't looking at Valentine, she was looking at Clary. "_Gold for a bride in her wedding gown_... Yes. You look amazing, sweetheart. You will be the prettiest girl at the dance."

Clary blushed a little. She hadn't even realized that she was wearing gold, a color which was mostly used by brides on their wedding days. She looked at her brother for a moment, whose gaze seemed to drink her in entirely.

They went together to the Hall of Accords, though Clary and Isabelle were closing in a little, whispering to each other. "Won't your parents be mad at you for not showing up there with them?"

"No. Alec and Jace go by themselves as well. My parents and his had spend most of the day there with the Council anyway."

When they arrived at the Hall of Accords, Clary couldn't even imagine that this had been the place of a murder only over a month ago. The hall had transformed; she felt like she was actually in Victorian London, even though most people hadn't dressed like that. But the atmosphere was so magnifying, like in one of the books by Jane Austen Clary had read.

Her parents made their way quickly towards some of their friends. Clary, Jonathan and Isabelle stayed behind. The girls looked at each other for a second. Then Clary said, "I will get something to drink." she announced and – just as she had thought – Jonathan said, "I can come with-..." "No. She can get something to drink by herself. And I'm not thirsty. Not yet anyway." Isabelle stepped before Clary to hide her from Jonathan and looked up to him, smiling.

Clary quickly made her way through the crowd, hoping that all these people would hide her from her brother's eyes for a bit.

That was when someone touched her shoulder gently. Surprised she wheeled around to the most handsome boy in the room. Jace looked gorgeous. Even with his mask on, she still knew who he was. He wore – when she realized that, her heart almost forgot how to beat – a suit in which he looked like he'd just came from Victorian London.

He looked like Clary had imagined Mr. Darcy while reading _Pride and Prejudice_. Even though he had not been blond.

"You look breathtakingly beautiful." he breathed, looking at her like she was the sun and he couldn't turn his eyes away from her. Clary smiled at him and for a moment it felt like they were the only two people in this room.

He offered her his arm before saying, "I know that we've only just arrived and I'd love to dance with you, but since your brother is here and... you know, I might want to avoid kicking his ass with all these people around... Would you like to accompany me outside?"

Without hesitating Clary took his arm. "I would love to."

* * *

**If some of you might think that Clockwork Prince and the Masquerade Ball inspired me when writing this... Err, then you might be right. Totally right, actually. If you still remember what Wessa did on that on that ball, you'll have a small hint as to what Clace might do next chapter ;-)**

**Please review! Great things are coming up, Shadowhunters!**


	11. The Sound of You Falling in Love

I just can't seem to keep you guys waiting for too long, huh? I'm probably spoiling all of you way too much, but since you're such awesome reviewers and I've already been so excited to put this chapter - it surely is one of my favourites - online, I didn't want to wait any longer. I can't wait for the weekend since then I'll be able to continue writing on this story (I'm at Chapter 20 right now).

**ariamccormick** -Aww, thanks so much! Your words mean a lot to me!**  
greygirl2358 - **You could be right about the dream... Though maybe he didn't do it on purpose exactly. The way he acted in Chapter 9 wasn't just because he wanted Clary to let him inside her bed - he really was worried about her.**  
shannie83 - **Aww, thank you!**  
isob3l - **I think it's not too hard to guess which name Jonathan was saying while making out with Izzy, huh? xD**  
Jessica - **Hope you like this one!**  
The Worm in th****e Apple - **You will absolutely love Clace in this chapter!**  
Serene Richmond - **Of course I will continue :)**  
BeccketAndCastle - **DEAR LORD YOU GIRL ARE MAKING ME SO HAPPY!**  
iohito - **Thank you SO much! Hope you'll enjoy this chapter just as much!  
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**Chapter 11 » The Sound of You Falling in Love**

_This is the sound of you falling in love  
Can you feel it?  
This is the sound of the beat of your heart  
Can you feel it?  
This is the sound of the best thing that you'll ever know  
_We The Living – Sound of Love

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Jace and Clary went outside to the gardens. Just in the back of the Hall of Accords was a huge, beautiful looking garden – Clary thought that it looked like some magical place. If she would have been a mundane, this would be a place she would imagine could only exist in fairy tales.

But she wasn't a mundane.

And she knew that life wasn't a fairy tale.

But for the moment, with Jace by her side, looking so handsome and her hand resting on his arm, she could pretend for at last a bit that sometimes life was a fairy tale.

"Izzy helped me with the dress," she told him then, because she wasn't quite sure what to say at all. There had been no need to say anything, she realized, because Clary enjoyed spending time with him even when they didn't say anything at all. Still she had not wanted things to become awkward between them.

Jace looked at her, smiling. "Well, she did a pretty good job. Though I am quite amazed that we have matching costumes." Now his smile turned into a grin. "You look like a Victorian lady who has just stepped out of some romance novel and I look like the handsome fellow that would take that girl's breath away. Must be fate, huh?"

Laughing, Clary said, "I am not so sure about the _taking the girl's breath away _part but other than that, yes, it seems like we have matching costumes."

"Don't pretend like I am not taking your breath away right now, Clary."

"And you shouldn't ruin this moment by being too full of yourself."

Still grinning, Jace reached out to her. Gently, he pulled the mask from her face before pulling his own mask from his face. Clary couldn't help but smile when she could see his face now, when she could look into his beautiful eyes.

"I think these masks seem a little silly."

"Well, but without masks, it wouldn't be masquerade ball."

"Right now we're all alone here and no one can see us. And since I already know your pretty little face, the masks are completely unnecessary."

Clary smiled at him. "I wished that we could just stay out here for the rest of the night. I don't even need to be in there. Maybe my brother won't even look for me in the gardens..." Taking a deep breath, she turned her gaze away from Jace, thoughtfully. "I don't get what is going on with him. I don't understand why he acts like he does. But still..." Looking at Jace again, she felt her heartbeat quicken inside her chest. "There are so much more things I don't quite understand yet. And even though they excite me, I think they terrify me just as much."

Jace looked into her green eyes and even though he said nothing at all, Clary felt that he understood what she was talking about. She felt that he was feeling the same thing about all of this – about whatever it was happening between them.

Sometimes Clary felt like they had this connection, something she had never shared with anyone else before. Sometimes she felt like she was able to feel Jace's feelings, his thoughts. But then he would shut her out all of a sudden, maybe when he realized that he gave too much of himself away without willing to.

She also knew that there was much more to this boy than his sarcastic, mocking remarks. He might be confident, he might even be arrogant – but right now, when facing these feelings that confused both of them so much, he felt just as terrified as Clary.

"There's one thing I would change about your outfit, though." Jace said suddenly and before she could even stop him, he reached out to touch her hair. He pulled the pins out of it and her red hair cascaded in waves over her shoulders.

Just this one touch had been enough to quicken her heartbeat even more. Clary felt like it was racing against her chest, like it wanted to break out of it anyway. "That looks much better now." Jace said, more to himself as to her, and smiled softly at her. He pushed a loose strand of hair out of her face, and all the while he had not once turned his eyes away from her. Clary felt frozen in place by his eyes – she wasn't able to move an inch away from him or pull his eyes away from his face, nor did she want to.

"I like it when your hair falls over your shoulders. I mean... I just like your hair. It looks beautiful.

"Everything about you is beautiful."

Clary could do nothing more than stare at him. Never before had a boy told her that she was beautiful. The only other person who had ever told her that she was beautiful had been her parents or her brother. But that didn't mean as much to her, now that Jace was calling her beautiful, the boy who made her heart skip two, three, four beats in a row.

"I am not beautiful." she whispered, even though she had thought that she had forgotten how to speak at all.

Jace grinned at her. He touched her hair again and then his hand stroked her cheek, softly, like a feather was touching her skin. "Don't expect me to be your self-esteem boost now, Morgenstern." he said, grinning even wider now.

Clary couldn't help but laugh at that.

"You're such an idiot, Herondale."

"Why, I certainly have been called worse. There was this one time in London when I've been to a pub. So, you see, there was this extremely ugly bartender lady in Downworld. She wasn't just ugly, she was downright rude and thought she could tell me that I was too young to have a drink in her bar. For a Downworlder, she was way too keen on mundane laws. Well, I had only told her the truth – that she looked worse than a ravener demon. I am not sure from which hellish dimension her demon parent must have come, but I might take a wild guess and say that it's Fleet Street. Well, after telling her that she called me some pretty nasty names."

Clary laughed, shaking her head at him. "You get yourself easily into trouble, don't you?"

"That is what my parents tell me all the time. It doesn't change anything when I tell them that I can't do anything about it – I do not look for trouble, you see. Trouble always finds _me_. It's been this way my entire life. You can ask Izzy and Alec. They have always tried to get trouble away from me, but it would come find me anyway. And, mind you, I was only twelve then. Though _maybe _we shouldn't have started looking for demons in these extremely nasty parts of London. Maybe that might be a reason why trouble had been able to find me even when I had only been 12 years old."

"Why," Clary said at that, trying to mimic Jace's British accent, even though she knew she was doing a terrible job, "I'd take a wild guess and say that someone as reckless as you is found by trouble way too easily."

Now he was laughing out loud, shaking his head in disbelief. "Oh, by the Angel, Clary! We still have to work on that British Accent, haven't we?"

"My ancestors come from quite a few of places, even from Britain, I think. So don't mock my accent, it's perfect in his own way. Besides, I'm from Idris, so I don't have to talk in any Accent at all. In Idris, one is obliged not to mince one's words."

"You're really adorable right now, you realize that? I don't know what it is about you – I would never have thought that the word _adorable _is part of my vocabulary except when I use it to mock someone. Mostly Alec, to be exact. Like, _Oh my, Alec, you look extremely adorable in that bunny boxers of yours_."

Clary laughed, but then raised her eyebrows questioningly at him. "Alec wears boxers with bunnies on them?"

"Sure. Didn't you know that Alec is obsessed with bunnies?"

Clary boxed Jace's arm playfully, still laughing. "You're being ridiculous right now, you know that. Right? And if I tell Alec that you've just told me something that should clearly have stayed between the two of you, I figure that you'll be in so much trouble all over again, Herondale." Clary smiled at him, both mockingly and challengingly.

At that, Jace came closer to her. She felt his breath on her skin, she could breathe in his scent which made her head spinning around, intoxicated her completely. He was so close, but not close enough yet.

"If you do that, you might get in trouble yourself, Morgenstern." he said, his voice sounding husky. They looked into each other's eyes for a long moment, completely forgetting the world around them. It didn't matter right now what was happening. The world could have ended right now and Clary wouldn't care because all she was focused on was Jace – Jace, standing so close to her, Jace, being not close enough, Jace's scent, Jace's breath on her skin, his hands which rested lightly on her waist now.

"Maybe I want trouble to find me, too."

And then he kissed her. Clary had wanted it. And now, as he kissed her, she realized how badly she had wanted him to kiss her and how perfect this was, Jace kissing her in this beautiful place for the very first time while she was wearing this beautiful dress. At first their kiss was soft, gentle, almost cautious. She felt his lips moving against hers, she tasted the sweetness of him. It felt so good, so wonderful. Clary never wanted this moment to end. She wanted to stay in his arms forever.

But their kiss didn't stay this way for long. Clary locked her arms around his neck and he closed his around her waist, pulling her even closer to him. Where she felt her skin touch his, she seemed to catch on fire. Heat was flowing through her veins, there was nothing else in the world except for him, the taste of him, the taste of his lips. His other hand was tangled in her red hair, grabbing at it, making a mess out of it, but it didn't matter. Their lips moved more fiercely and firmly against each other now. Clary felt breathless, but it didn't matter. Breathing felt so unnecessary at the moment.

Clary grabbed his hair, felt the silky touch of his blond locks grazing her fingers. His hand that had been on her waist was now stroking her back, grabbing at the fabric of her dress. Clary pressed her body more tightly against his. Their lips crashed against each other once again. He was kissing her passionately, like he'd been waiting for this moment just as long as she'd been and now he just couldn't get enough of the feeling of his lips touching hers.

When they finally broke away from each other, gasping, but still standing close to one another, Jace cupped her face in his hands, looking down at her, smiling. His thumbs stroked gently her cheeks. "That was..." Clary began, still breathless.

"Amazing." he whispered against her lips, before bending down to kiss her once again, but now his kiss was sweeter again, not as passionate as it had been only seconds again.

Yes. It had been amazing. It had been Clary's first kiss and she could not have imagined it being any better. Or any more perfect. She was so happy she felt like she would burst any moment. Her hands were still tangled in Jace's blond hair. She had so often imagined how it would feel like to touch his hair and now she was standing here, being held by him in his arms, touching his hair, feeling his breath on her skin, tasting his kiss on her lips.

"It doesn't matter to me if my brother wants us to be together or not. He does not have any say in this." She took a deep breath. "I decide what to do with my life. And... I also decide who I want to be with. And... and right now I just want to be with... you."

Jace looked at her for a long moment in silence, before he smiled again and bend down to touch his lips to her forehead. Clary closed her eyes, enjoying how the feel of his lips on any part of her skin made her tingle each single time. Jace pulled her in his arms even closer, held her tightly before saying, "Even if your brother would try to scare me off, it's too late for that now anyway. He cannot keep me from seeing you. You will not get rid of me that easily, Morgenstern. No matter what your brother might do or say. You're stuck with me now."

Clary looked up to him, grinning. She had to admit that she quite liked the idea of being stuck with Jace. She closed her arms around his neck again and pulled him closer to her. "So you think I have stepped into some serious trouble now?"

"Most certainly. I'm afraid you have stepped into some serious trouble you will never be able to get out of."

"Good." Then she was the one kissing him, and once again both of them lost themselves in a kiss. But this time it was Clary who broke away more quickly, looking at Jace who seemed quite confused as to why she had stopped their kiss.

"I want to go inside. You'd said that you wanted to dance and... I don't care who sees us. If my parents or Jonathan see us. I just want to spend this night with you."

Jace considered her words for a moment, before a smile crossed her lips. She knew that he would like the idea of rubbing what was between Clary and him now right into Jonathan's face after he was still pissed at him for threatening him.

"Then we shall go inside."

They held each other's hands as they walked back into the room. Clary felt like that everyone was staring at her when they entered, though she was sure that she was just imagining things. When she looked around, she saw Isabelle, who was still standing with Jonathan. When Isabelle saw them, though, holding hands and certainly noticing how messed up Clary's hair was, she stared for a moment too long. Jonathan turned around at the look on her face and Clary saw shock and anger and hurt mirroring on his face, all at once.

But then everything fell apart in one single moment.

A scream. A loud, piercing, horrifying scream. It could only have been the scream of dying animal, of some creature that must be in severe pain...

"What...?" Jace breathed, looking around confused and worried. Then the crowd parted and gave way to a man kneeling on the floor. He held the limp body of a woman in his arms, crying her name, over and over and over again.

"No... What happened? _Celine_..."

Clary watched the color drain out of Jace's face. For a moment he seemed to be frozen on the spot, completely shocked and disbelieving. But than, as he realized what was happening, he let go of Clary's hand and rushed to his father's side.

"Father?" Jace knelt beside him, almost not daring to look at his mother's face because he was scared of what he might see. Never before had Clary seen Jace like this. He'd always been brave, he wasn't afraid of anything. But now he couldn't look at the limp figure of his mother in his father's arms. There was a look of panic in his eyes. Like he tried so hard to hold himself together, but he was failing. "What... what happened? Father?"

Stephen didn't answer his son for a long moment. He held his wife's body close to him, shaking with tears he did not yet cry.

"Father!" Jace demanded, though Clary didn't hear anger in his words – he was frightened, he was so, so scared and all she wanted was to go to him, try to comfort him, but she knew she couldn't. Even though Clary couldn't believe that this was actually happening, deep down inside she knew what had happened.

Stephen looked slowly up to his son. The whole hall had gone quiet. His words, even though they were barely a whisper, echoed through it.

"Your mother is dead."

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**Please don't kill me for letting this chapter end in such a tragedy.**

What can I say? It's so much fun being bad :-P


	12. The Color's White

Thank you so much for reviewing! So, here's Chapter 12.

**Horsecrazy141 - **Yes, poor Jace! I feel so sorry for him, too.  
**The Worm in the Apple - **_Crap on a cracker_. This is awesome. I might borrow that line for the future xD  
**shannie83 - **Sorry, dear, but that is just the way I roll. First the sweet moments, then the heartbreak xD  
**Daisy215 - **Jonathan will still cause enough drama xD  
**isob3l** - Are you in shock, dear?  
**Caitey - **Oh, there's still a plot with Jonathan that will be unraveled in the future.  
**DarkMoon2222 - **Thank you so much!

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**Chapter 12 » The Color's White**

_For death and mourning the color's white  
_– Shadowhunter Children's Rhyme

No one knew why Celine Herondale had died. No one could explain what might have happened to her. She had been perfectly fine the whole night, she'd been with Jace's father and when she had gone to the washing rooms, she'd come back completely changed.

No one knew what might have happened between the time she'd gone to the washing rooms and the time she'd come back.

Over and over again, Stephen had described to his son how Celine had seemed after coming back. She'd told her husband that she all of a sudden was not feeling so well, that she felt dizzy and that something seemed horribly wrong. She'd said that something had happened to her but she couldn't remember anything. She couldn't even stand on her own two feet anymore. She'd barely been able to walk all the way over to him after coming back from the washing rooms. Stephen had pulled his wife closer to him, he'd told her that he would take her home.

That was when she'd collapsed. She had just broken down to the floor, like all her strength had been taken away from her.

And then she had died. She had been dead the moment she had collapsed.

No one knew what had happened to her. There were no visible injuries to her, no blood. . . Nothing. It seemed like she had just collapsed and died. Though Jace knew, just as well as Stephen knew, that this couldn't be possible. Someone was responsible for this. Someone had killed Celine Herondale.

They just had no idea who it could have been and how they'd done it.

It was quite similar to the Consul Blackthorn's death. There had been so many people at the masquerade, almost the entire population of Idris as well as Shadowhunters coming from other parts of the world had been there. It could have been _anyone_. Maybe even the person who had killed the Consul, though no one could quite understand why someone would kill the Consul and then Stephen Herondale's wife, who had nothing to do with the Council at all.

Jace had hoped that the prospect of avenging his mother's death might give him some kind of hope, but truth be told, it didn't matter to him. Whoever the person was who had killed his mother, they would pay in time when he'd found out who they were. But killing them wouldn't bring his mother back to life. She was dead.

She had gone. She'd left his father and him.

Every day since it had happened, Jace woke up in the morning, believing that when he'd get out of his room, he would see his mother standing in the kitchen, preparing breakfast, smiling brightly at him.

But she was never there. And every morning when he walked into the kitchen to find it empty or his father sitting at the table, desperate and lonely, the truth hit him all over again, each day even more painfully than the day before.

His mother was dead. She would never be able to come back to them.

Three days after her death, his father and Jace had to bury Celine. Never would Jace have thought that he'd attend the funeral of his mother with only 17 years of age.

His mother's funeral had been a blur. Jace could not remember anything that had happened after he'd gotten home. He even wondered how he was able to walk and accept people's condolences. He wondered why he was not falling apart already. He had cried over his mother's death, even if it had been only in private, when he'd been alone.

When no one was there to see him.

To condole _him_.

He knew that his father also tried to be strong, but it was not easy for him. His father had lost the love of his life. He'd lost the person that had been the most precious, most important to him.

And he blamed himself. Blamed himself because he hadn't been able to save her.

Jace tried to be there for his father, but he just wasn't sure how. He felt like his mother had always been the strongest link between them. She had held this family together, she'd been the one being able to make the both men in her life show some feelings. Jace and Stephen, on the other hand, were barely able to talk to each other now.

They'd always had a good relationship, but it had been more about fighting, about training, about being a Shadowhunter. His mother had been the one in charge for emotional stuff, if one could call it that.

He was just relieved when he was left alone. There was no one he wanted to see. Jace wanted to be left alone with his thoughts. How should he ever be able to understand what had happened?

How should he ever be able to comprehend that his mother had died, that she would never coming back to him?

His grandmother had told him that she knew how he felt exactly, that this was the way she'd felt after husband had died. That there was no day passing by without her remembering him, without her missing him.

But she had also said that it would get easier.

Right now, Jace couldn't believe that. How could it get any easier? Who could be there to take away the pain from him?

Jace was in the kitchen, lost deep in his thoughts, when he heard a knock on the door. He looked up, but before he could make himself go to the door, his grandmother had already opened it.

When he heard the voice, though, it felt like he'd surfaced from deep under water for the first time in days. It was her voice.

"I'll apologize if I'm intruding, especially in times like these. I just... I wanted to know if I could see Jace. I would... I would like to tell him my condolences in person."

Clary. It was Clary.

"That is really nice of you, Miss Morgenstern." he heard this grandmother say, though she didn't sound particularly like she really thought that it was nice of her. "But I don't think that my grandson is ready yet to see any-..."

Jace came to the door, cutting Imogen off, "Clary!" When he looked at her, the slightest spark ignited in his golden eyes. "It's okay." he told his grandmother then. "I want to talk to her." For a moment, he had a feeling like his grandmother might protest, but then she just took a deep breath and nodded, leaving Jace alone with Clary at the threshold.

For a moment they looked at each other, before Jace walked out of the door and closed it behind him. "Let's go for a walk, shall we?" he asked her and Clary nodded. He noticed that she was wearing white, like he was – white was the color Shadowhunters wore when they were mourning their dead. Clary had not known his mother at all and yet she was trying to pay her respects by wearing white. Jace didn't know why, since, in the end, it was just a stupid color, nothing more than that, but seeing Clary like this touched him even more than any condolence he'd gotten these past few days.

They walked through the woods in silence. Clary didn't say anything, she just took his hand. Jace felt a little more alive when he felt her hand touch his. Only now did he realize how much he'd craved being near Clary. How much he seemed to have known, even unconsciously, that being near her would help him somehow.

He didn't even know how Clary was managing to make him feel better, but she did.

"I still can't believe what happened. I don't even know what to say." she said quietly. "On my way over to you, I'd had a whole speech prepared. But when I saw you... I just thought that saying _I'm sorry _would not be enough. That it could never be enough. These seem just like empty words. How could anyone be ever sorry about a loss someone is enduring when they have never experienced something like this themselves? So I thought that... well... I just thought that I'd be here for you, if you let me."

Jace looked at Clary for a long moment. She was the first one to not tell him that she was sorry about his mum's death, the first one who didn't throw any of these empty phrases at him people usually said when someone had died. And somehow this made her words the most sincere he'd heard in days.

"I'm so relieved you're here." he said quietly. Without even realizing it, Jace had stopped walking. He took her other hand in his as well. They stood in front of each other, looking into each other's eyes. Jace wanted to lose himself in the green of her eyes. He never wanted to be with anyone else again but her.

He felt like no one could understand him as much as she could.

Of course Isabelle and Alec had tried to be there for him, too. The Lightwoods had been a lot at the Herondale's after his mother had died, but most of the time Jace wouldn't let them be there for him, no matter how hard they tried. He had been shutting them out completely. But Clary, seeing her now, he wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms, to never stop holding her close to him for the rest of his life.

"I think I only now realized how much I need you, Clary." Jace stroked a lose strand of red hair out of her face. He thought back to how he'd kissed her at the masquerade ball, how happy he had felt then, right before his happiness had been destroyed, crushed down in a matter of seconds. Leaving him wondering if all of this was some sick, cruel joke.

He then pulled her close to him, so close until their bodies pressed against each other. He felt Clary's arms tighten around him, her head resting against his chest. Jace felt her heart beating. It was the most reassuring sound he'd ever heard.

"I won't tell you that everything is going to be fine." Clary told him. "Because right now, it must seem stupid to you, the thought that things could possibly be ever fine again. But I will tell you that I will be with you, every day, every hour of what will happen next, and that there _will _be moments you will feel slightly fine again. And maybe..." Clary looked up to him, touching her hand to his cheek. Jace couldn't help but close his eyes at her touch.

He was so vulnerable right now. He knew that he was like an open book to read, that he showed Clary all of his pain, his suffering. His feelings.

He'd never shown his vulnerability to anyone else before.

But he didn't care. He wanted her to see. He wanted her to be there.

He was already been slashed open enough. There was nothing to hide anymore. Not from her, anyway, because she was the only person he felt was real anymore, the only person he could rely on, the only person he could trust.

"Maybe there will come a day when you get up in the morning, thinking for the very first time that you're feeling more fine than sad." Jace leaned his head in her hand for a moment, taking a deep breath. He wished it could always be like this, that he could always just feel her touch, close his eyes, escape the world and its cruelty this way.

But he knew he couldn't. He knew that he had to face these demons – his own as well as the ones tormenting this world.

"I will find them." he said quietly. "I will find that person who's responsible for her death. I will find them. And I will kill them."

Clary didn't say anything to that at first. She just pressed her body tightly against his once more, stroking his back reassuringly as her closed his arms around her in an embrace, touching his lips to the top of her head, smelling the sweet scent of her red hair.

"I know that you want to avenge your mother's death and I can fully understand that. But it will not do you any good if you spend every passing minute obsessing over that now. It would destroy you only more. I wouldn't want you to get hurt even more than you already are."

Jace took a deep breath. He let go of her, then, only to cup her face in his hands. He looked at her, before saying, "I won't lose myself in wanting to take revenge for my mother's death. It's just... if I have the chance to kill the person who did this, I won't let it pass. And neither will my father. When we talk at all right now, all he's talking about is wanting to find her killer and make them suffer for what they'd done to her. He tries to be strong. I know him. He tries not to fall apart. But he's at the edge of losing it. . .

"And I'm... I'm frightened that I will lose it, too."

"No." Clary whispered. She took his hand in hers once more, pressing her lips to his palm. "You will not lose it. You hear me? I won't let you. Because you know what, Jace? After what happened at the masquerade... After what happened between us... I know now that I need you, too. I need you just as much as you need me."

Clary closed her arms around his neck. He leaned his forehead to hers, closing his eyes once again, letting the smell of Clary calm him down, who seemed to want to be _his _without him being able to understand why, why she'd want him when she was the most wonderful creature he'd ever met, why she'd be willing to make his pain hers when she wouldn't need to do that at all. She could just walk away and never look back at him again. But she didn't.

"We're in this together now." she whispered against his lips. Her lips were close enough to touch now. "Whether you like it or not."

"I will not let you go."

"I was more afraid that you might try to push me away."

At that, he opened his eyes, surprised. Did she somehow sense that he might had been doing nothing these past few days than pushing everyone who tried to be there for him away? Had she feared that he would push her away, too?

"Never. I will never push you away." he promised her, caressing her cheeks with his thumbs, not once letting his gaze linger from hers. They stood like this for a long moment, before Clary pulled him a little closer to him. And then they kissed.

It was the softest of kisses, like a feather brushing his lips. It was comforting, it felt good. For the first time in days, he _really _felt something. But Jace needed so much more than that. He needed her so much closer... He wanted to crash her into his body, wanted to make them into one person so he would never have to let go of her again.

His lips began moving more fiercely against her. He felt Clary gasping, before she started kissing him just as passionately. Somehow they stumbled towards a tree. Jace crushed her against it. His hands slid down her sides, feeling the heat of her skin even through the thin fabric of her white shirt. She grabbed at his hair, pulling him even closer to her.

Jace needed that. Needed to feel the touch of her, needed to feel her heat, needed to feel her heart race inside her chest so he would know that he was still alive, that he wasn't just a lifeless creature tumbling through life without really living, feeling anything at all.

He didn't know if it was appropriate for him to be making out with Clary when he should grieve.

But he did grieve. He still was grieving, he just tried to share his pain with Clary, he'd just _let her in_.

And feeling her, being this close to her... It was the only thing that made him feel slightly better, that made him feel like that maybe the things everyone else were saying to make him feel better about this messed up situation were true. That maybe someday the pain would start to fade.

For a moment their lips broke away from each other, but only so that his lips could touch the soft skin of her neck. She moaned lightly in his hair and he felt the soft touch of her skin under his lips, felt her pulse beating. "Clary... I..." he whispered, almost desperately, even though he didn't know what he wanted to say.

He wanted to tell her how grateful he was for her being there. He wanted to tell her how much better she made him feel.

He wanted to tell her that she was the only one being able to do that. That he needed her so much and that it actually scared him.

He wanted to tell her that he felt like he could not live without her anymore.

"Sh. Hush. It's okay. I know. I know." she whispered before closing her arms around him. She pulled him in such a tight embrace that Jace didn't feel anything else besides her. Her body pressed against his, the touch of her skin, the fabric of her clothes touching his... Jace leaned his head against her chest and she kissed the top of his head.

Soundless sobs rocked his body. The tears still wouldn't come, but his whole body was shaking and it felt like it would never stop.

And Clary was there, holding him in her arms, holding him as tightly as she could, being the only source of comfort possible. She didn't say anything, because she knew there were no words that could ease his pain.

She just held him, she shared his pain, tried to make as much of it hers as she could. And her just being there, holding him, was the only thing Jace needed right now.

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**To everyone who was worried that Jace might shut himself away from Clary - clearly, he did not decide to do that. I think that what they are going through right now will even let them grow stronger in their affection towards each other.**

**Still, they're far from getting a Happy Ending just yet. A lot of drama is still to come! And we still don't know who's the killer...**


	13. These Demons Have Left Me for Dead

Thank you so much for reviewing! I'm not yet sure how often I will update until the weekend since school started again last week and I don't know yet how often I will be able to write, though I'll try to update as frequently as I can. But MAYBE I will update the next one tomorrow night anyway since I'm simply not that good at keeping my own excitement low, so we'll see.****

Caitey - Not that much Clace in this chapter, but there'll be a lot in the next one!**  
50shadeslover - **Aww, thank you so much!**  
The Worm in the Apple - **Yes, I just thought that would be the right thing to do.**  
Horsecrazy141 - **Thank you!**  
shannie83 - **Thank you so much!**  
Disney4ever - **One of your theories might be correct xD And thank you!**  
isob3l - **Thank you!**  
slellis96 - **Thanks! And yes, of course I will :)**  
BeccetAndCastle - **My God, your reviews always make my day! I think this is one of the best things I've ever heard! As for Jonathan walking in on them when they are doing dirty things - might happen in the future, though not as you expect right now ;) Can't say more, though!****

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**Chapter 13 » These Demons Have Left Me for Dead**

_You can't understand  
What's running through my head  
And you may not understand  
About half the words that I said  
So let me paint a picture instead  
These demons have left me for dead  
_We The Living – Demons

After Jace had brought Clary home, he had made his way back to Herondale manor. When they had stood just outside the garden fence of her house, they had embraced once more and kissed each other goodbye. Both of them seemed to know that they didn't care whether her parents or his father and and grandmother saw them together. It didn't matter.

They were together now. There was even no need to say it out loud.

They needed each other. They could not be without one another.

What other people might think, what Clary's brother might do because he didn't like that... Who the hell cared? What mattered most was that she was his, and that she would stay with him, and that he could be close to her whenever he wanted, no matter who might see them.

When he came home, he closed the door behind him quietly. Jace had wanted to go to his room, but when he was near the kitchen, he caught some of the conversation his father and grandmother were having right now. It made him stop in his tracks and leaning against the wall, frowning, and listening in on them.

"... this girl is no good for him, I'm telling you. There is something wrong with her family."

Stephen took a deep breath, sounding exhausted. "But even if there is something wrong with her family, what does that have to do with the girl? Frankly, if there's someone who could make my son feel better during these hard times, I'm grateful for that."

"But what if I tell you that I think that it was _her father _who killed Consul Blackthorn? What if I tell you I even think that it was her father, Valentine Morgenstern, who murdered Celine?"

For a moment, there was silence. Jace held his breath, trying to comprehend what he was hearing.

"Why would you say that, mother?" Stephen said at last, not sounding quite so exhausted anymore. She clearly had caught his attention.

"Valentine Morgenstern and I have never been on what one would call 'good terms'. It has been this way for years. I think he never accepted me as Inquisitor – he wanted that position to himself, but he wouldn't get it because I did. Besides, when I'd gotten the position, he wasn't much older than you and he hadn't accomplished that much. Morgenstern might be a good Shadowhunter, but he's way too compulsive to be in a position of that much power.

"But I've always known that he wants power, and he doesn't want it to do good in the world, in our world, with it. He's always acting like he knows what would be best for Shadowhunter society, trying to convince the Council of using the Cup more frequently, of turning more people into Shadowhunters to strengthen our ranks, no matter what the consequences of this action might be. As you know very well, there are not a lot of mundanes who are suitable to Ascend. But he doesn't seem to care about how many people we would kill in the process of creating more Shadowhunters. Also, he's been very straight-forward in opposing the Council for years. He isn't happy with how the Council leads the world of Nephilim, and he's said more than once already that if he were in charge, he'd do things differently. That we will one day be paying the price for being ignorant of his warnings.

"Maybe I had been foolish to not listen to my intuition before. I have just thought that Valentine Morgenstern talked big – but nothing more than that. He's killed Consul Blackthorn, I'm sure of that. And he might have killed Celine. . . Maybe he hoped to be able to get his position once he's dead. But then I brought you here and he felt threatened by you. Because people can already tell that I would like you to become Consul. Or maybe he just did it to hurt me because he seems to despise me so much. So, naturally, he despises you, too."

"But why should he kill Celine, then, and not me? I am the threat, not her."

"This, I don't know, son. Maybe he thought that when your wife's dead, you wouldn't be in any state of leading the Council. That it would break you..."

"But he's with Jocelyn, isn't he? They're married. I knew Jocelyn when we were younger. She's a good person. She wouldn't be with someone that horrible."

"Who knows what good husband he pretends to be while, in truth, he's been a monster all along?"

Stephen sighed and Jace could almost see his father shake his head. "It _could _be him, yes, but still. It doesn't make that much sense. Just because he had complaints about Shadowhunter government doesn't mean that he's a murderer. And why kill Celine when that just as easily could mean that I would be much more keen on finding out who's responsible for this, when I could become even more of a threat to him, and not only in regard to who might become the next Consul?

"But in any case, mother, we shouldn't share these suspicions of yours with anyone. There's too much mistrust among Nephilim already. Whoever did this, they are already succeeding in trying to tear us apart."

"You don't know him as much as I do. You don't see how charismatic he is, when really he is just manipulating people to listen to what he says. There's something dark about him. I know it."

"But if he tries to get people on his side, then why won't he do that now, in times when people are the most desperate? Why not try to convince them now that he'd be a much better leader?"

Imogen frowned at that. "I am not sure. Maybe he's just waiting for the right time. Maybe he waits for people to start questioning the Council – and, after all that had happened, after we're having a murderer in our own ranks, that might happen much sooner than later. Or maybe he thinks that it would look too suspicious when he now tries to get people to listen to him when he might know that I suspect him of being the murderer."

"I don't know. These might be motives, yes... But we don't have any evidence for him actually doing that. Besides, I had seen him with his wife at the masquerade. He was with her the whole night, as far as I remember." Stephen said, shaking his head. "I will not forbid my son to see that girl just because you have a feeling that her father might have something to do with... with the murders. And I still know how it feels like to be this young and to be... in love."

Jace could almost feel the pain, the sadness in his father's words.

"If you had tried to keep me from seeing Celine when we'd first met, I would've seen her anyway."

"You're much too sensible, Stephen. This girl could hurt Jace much more than she'll ease his pain. If her father really is...-"

"Right now, we don't know that. And right now, he seems to want to spend time with her. So we let him."

At that, Jace stepped in the kitchen. Both his father and grandmother looked up at him, startled. "Jace..." His father got up, looking at him, feeling caught off guard. "You're already back."

"Don't even try to act like nothing happened just now. I heard every word of your conversation."

They were quiet for a moment. Stephen took a deep breath, running his hands through his hair that looked so much like Jace's. "Jace, I'm sorry. Your grandmother didn't mean...-"

"Oh yes. Yes I did. And I still think that you should not see that girl, Jace. Her family might be dangerous. Besides, she has always come across to me as quite odd, too. Until you came to town, she had never been with anyone except her brother. She never had any friends at school as far as I know."

"So what?" Jace said and he couldn't keep his anger from his voice. "Is it a crime for being a shy teenager now? Living in a cruel world like that where it is almost impossible to find friends? I, for one, didn't have that many friends back in London, either. The only ones I had were taken away from me just when I'd befriended them."

He looked at them, both his father and grandmother, furious and disgusted. "I know that you want to find out who killed mother. So do I. But it doesn't do us any good to throw suspicions at any person that you hate. And this is why you'd like to think it was Clary's dad, isn't it? Because you don't like him. Because he was the only one who wasn't afraid enough of you to say that you might not be doing such a good job after all. Because everyone else is too cowardly or too freaked out about you to say what they are really thinking.

"Thinking like that, _anyone _could be the killer because almost _no one _says what they're really thinking most of the time. So your theory seems pretty ridiculous to me!"

Imogen stared at him, furious. "Don't you dare talk to me like that..."

"So now that I say something against you I'm not allowed to talk to you freely anymore? That's convenient, now, is it, _Inquisitor Herondale_."

"I will not have you talk to me like that, no matter if you're grieving right now. You're the one being ridiculous, and I will forbid you to see that girl again. Bringing this family closer to ours is something we should not be doing at the moment."

"I don't care what you want. I will not let you keep me from seeing Clary." He glared at her, then at his father. "She is the only one in this damned world that can give me some comfort right now. And I will not let you take that away from me."

"Jace," he sighed. "I don't want to take anything away from you. Your grandmother is just concerned..."

"No. She's not. She is just playing her own games of power."

Imogen rushed to him at that, and before Jace could even comprehend what was happening, she had slapped him in the face. "Don't you dare..." she said quietly, murderously. "Don't you dare talk about me like that when I know better than anyone else how it is to lose people I love! When I am the person in this family who has suffered the most, having to leave my child behind, losing my husband, not being able to see my grandson growing up and now losing my daughter-in-law, too, while trying to act strong the entire time! Don't you dare accusing me of wanting to make this about myself getting more powerful!

"If that is what you really think, Jace, then you are no grandson of mine!"

Jace stared at her for a moment, shocked. He knew that he'd gone too far, he had just been so furious with her. With both of them.

But he couldn't admit to her that he hadn't meant what he had just said.

He stepped away from them. "I will see Clary. No matter if you like it or not."

* * *

When Clary entered the kitchen, she found her mother sitting at the table. She looked up at Clary, smiling slightly. "You're wearing white today."

Clary raised her eyebrows questioningly at her mother, before nodding. "Yes, I... I went over to the Herondale's to pay them my respects. So I thought it would only be appropriate to wear white."

Her mother just nodded, watching her daughter thoughtful for a long moment in silence. "You meant you went over to the Herondale's to see Jace and pay him your respects, don't you?"

Clary, feeling caught, turned her gaze away from her mother, looking down. She didn't know what she was supposed to say. She couldn't deny that – and she wouldn't. Yes, she had gone to the Herondale's to be with Jace, to see how he was doing and maybe if she could help him. She still couldn't quite concentrate on what was going on around her because all Clary could think about was the way he had kissed her... With such passion and desperation... The way she had held him after that... How he'd told her that he needed her...

Clary needed him, too. Never once before in her life had she been so sure of needing someone this much.

Never once before in her life had she been sure that she could not live without this person if she were to lose them.

Clary didn't need to say anything, as it turned out, because her mother went on, "I've seen you two together at the masquerade ball. Right before Celine Herondale collapsed... I saw you two coming back in from the gardens. You had held hands and your hair – well, it was a mess. And I did remember that Isabelle had pinned it up."

Clary raised her eyes at her mother again, sighing. "Is that an interrogation or something? What do you want me to tell you? _Yes_, Jace and I were together at the masquerade. _Yes_, we have kissed there. And _yes_, I went over to the Herondale's because I wanted to see him and because I wanted to be there for him. And do you know what?" Clary had no idea why she was getting so mad at her mother, but the way she talked to her, the way she looked at her... The red-haired Shadowhunter had a feeling that her mother didn't approve of Clary being with Jace. There clearly was something that bugged her and all Clary wanted was for her mother to spit it out already.

"We have kissed just now as well!"

Taking a deep breath again, Jocelyn only said, "I know that. I've just seen you two outside from the kitchen window. Clary..." Jocelyn didn't seem to feel comfortable anymore. She shifted on her seat, trying to think of how to tell her daughter what she needed to tell her. "Are you in love with that Herondale boy?"

_That Herondale boy_...? What was that supposed to mean? Her mother knew Jace's name and she seemed barely to be able to speak it out loud.

"I..." Clary thought about that for a moment, swallowing hard. She had thought that when she told someone what she felt for Jace, it would be him – that he'd be the first one to know. Or if she told her mother, that she would sound at least supportive, not accusing, like Clary had done something profoundly wrong. But then she said, without hesitation and with clarity in her voice, "Yes. I am in love with him. And we are together. We want to be together."

Jocelyn was quiet again for a long moment. When Clary thought that she couldn't stand the silence anymore, when she wanted to demand from her mother to tell her what was going on, Jocelyn said, "You can't see him Clary. I'm sorry but... this is just not possible."

Shocked, bewildered, and completely disbelieving, Clary stared for a moment, not comprehending for a moment what she had just heard her mother say. "What... what's that supposed to mean? I mean... I know that he's suffering quite a lot right now and if you think that he doesn't have the time for a girlfriend right now because of everything that he's going through, then I can tell you that you don't need to worry. Jace said that he wants to be with me. He said that I'm the only one who can comfort him right now. This will bring us closer together."

"That's not what I meant, honey." Jocelyn looked at Clary, sadness and remorse mirroring in her eyes which looked so much like Clary's. "That boy has gotten a certain reputation. He is dangerous. He is reckless. All the stories they are telling about him, about his family... Their family only brings pain and bad luck. And death. They certainly bring death to those who are close to them. Look at what happened to his mother. And your father... He isn't exactly on good terms with his grandmother. He would not be pleased if he knew that you're with Jace."

Clary still stared at her mother and tried to see reason in what she was telling her – but it was impossible because what she said was ridiculous. "You're kidding, right? This is... this is the most stupid thing I've ever heard..."

"Clary..."

"No! Don't you cut me off! This is ridiculous and you know that! So what if Dad doesn't like Inquisitor Herondale? That doesn't have anything to do with me and Jace! And what is that garbage about their family only brings pain and back luck and death to those who are close to them? What happened to Celine is a tragedy! Someone killed her! It's not like it was their fault!

"And besides, do you even know Jace? No, you don't! As far as I'm concerned, all you know about the Herondales are some stupid rumors and stories. Jace might be reckless, he might have a lot of weaknesses – but you know what, I like that about him, I like everything about him, his good and his bad sides! You know nothing about him. And I would never have thought that you were one to judge someone just because of what people are telling about them. Jace is... he is... I have... I have never felt this way about someone before...

"And now you're telling me that I can't see him because you think that it would upset Dad, when my love life is none of his business? Because you have _heard _that Jace's gotten a certain reputation? This is so ridiculous!"

"Clary... I don't mean to upset you." Jocelyn got up and walked closer towards Clary, but she took a few steps back, not wanting her mother near her. "I am just so worried about you. I don't want you being caught in that mess they're in right now. I don't want you to get hurt. Can't you at least try to understand me? I have a bad feeling about this. I think that you might end up getting hurt. That he will hurt you. That he'll break your heart."

"And even if he would break my heart, you still have no right to keep me from seeing him!"

"I only want to protect you."

"I can take care of myself. And I will see Jace, whether you like it or not."

With that, Clary went to the stairs, wanting to go up to her room. Before she had climbed one stair, though, she heard her mother say, "I will not allow that, Clary. You must not see him anymore."

Clary swallowed hard, not understanding how her mother could be so cruel to her. How she could want to destroy something that felt so good to Clary only because she was scared that it might hurt her eventually when there was no reason to believe that at all.

It just didn't make any sense.

"But I will." was all she said and she didn't care that she seemed like a stubborn teenage girl when she ran up the stairs and into her room, slamming the door shut behind her. 

* * *

**Uh-oh. Seems like neither the Inquisitor, nor Mama Morgenstern are particularly happy about Clary and Jace dating... And might Imogen be right to suspect Valentine?**

It may take a little while longer to find that out!


	14. That Kind of Love

Who is surprised about the fact that I've updated tonight already? I am not! Though hopefully, I will be able to write some more until the weekend and not only on the weekend because it's so much fun. Today was such a shitty day so I thought I deserved to put the next one online - or something like that. Anyway, here's some steamy Clace, guys!

**The Worm in the Apple** - Couldn't have said it better myself!**  
50shadeslover - **Yes, Clace are a bit like Romeo and Juliet. About the running away thing... Who knows, maybe something like that'll happen ;) And no, this is not something Jonathan has planted inside the parents' heads - Imogen stated her reasons for not trusting the Morgensterns quite well in Chapter 13. Jocelyn has her own secret reasons.**  
MadJay29 - **Thank you!**  
isob3l - **There's a reason Jocelyn doesn't want them to be together which will be unraveled in a few chapters xD**  
Huntress3419 - **Thanks so much!**  
Horsecrazy141 - **Thank you so much!**  
juti - **You'll just have to wait a little more to find that out ;)**  
Caitey - **Thank you so much!**  
BeccketAndCastle - **And reading all of your reviews always make my day 3 Hopefully, I shall never stop writing!

* * *

**Chapter 14 » That Kind of Love  
**Clary hadn't seen Jace the next day. She had tried to sneak out of the house, but her mother just wouldn't let her. She always seemed to find something for Clary to do – help her cleaning the house, preparing dinner, washing clothes. Clary was furious with her mother, but she didn't put off a scene when her brother and father were with them.

She knew that she couldn't hope for some support from either one of them, especially from Jonathan. Though the way he had watched Clary whenever he thought she wasn't looking, made her feel uneasy. She had a feeling that her brother knew exactly what was going on between Jace and her, even though she'd tried to hide it from him.

But she didn't care.

Neither did she care about what her mother wanted. She would not be able to watch her all the time. So she would see Jace again, whether her mother wanted that or not.

When she had gone to bed that night, even though Clary was certain that she wouldn't be able to find any sleep at all, she suddenly heard a tapping at her window. At first she had thought that it meant nothing, but when she once again heard it, Clary got out of her bed. Confused, she opened the window to find Jace standing outside, right under her window.

"Jace?"

She had not thought to see him at night, standing under her window. She couldn't help but to grin. Suddenly Clary felt like being in some cheesy romance novel – though she couldn't pretend that she didn't mind.

"I wondered why you haven't come over today. So I thought I could stop by... Well, I know that it's dark outside and that maybe this time of night isn't quite suitable for a date, but..." Even in the darkness, Clary could see him grinning at her. "Care to come down to me anyway?"

Clary didn't say anything. She just put a finger to her lips, meaning for him to be as quiet as he could. When her mother woke up to find Clary sneak out of the house to go somewhere with Jace... She was sure that this wouldn't help ease her mind about Jace having a bad influence on Clary.

She got dressed and then went down the stairs, carefully avoiding the ones that would made noises when being stepped on them. Her heart was racing in her chest the whole time, but when she got out to Jace, the house was still quiet. No one seemed to have noticed that Clary had sneaked out.

Grinning at Jace, she ran over to him.

"You know, it would've looked incredible sexy if you had climbed down your window."

"Just going down the stairs was a lot easier, mind you."

He took her hand and they started moving towards the woods. Jace had a witchlight rune stone in his other hand so they could see clearly even in the darkness.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you all day." he told her and Clary blushed. She was relieved that Jace was looking at the way ahead of them right now instead of looking at her or else he would have noticed her blushing. "Why didn't you come?"

"Well..." Sighing, Clary said, "Something happened at home. I meant to come over to yours but my mother wouldn't let me."

Frowning, Jace looked at her, but didn't ask what had happened until they had reached a comfy enough looking tree quite deep in the woods. Jace sat himself in front of the tree, his back leaning against it, and Clary sat before him and between his legs, resting her back against his chest. Jace closed his arms around her, pulling her even closer to him.

"So, what happened?" he asked her and she felt his breath tingling on her skin.

"I don't even know what is going on anymore. My mum is being ridiculous. For some reason she doesn't want us to be together. She told me that she will not allow me to see you and that she _forbids _it. She said that she thinks that you're reckless, that you will only put me in danger... She..." Clary swallowed hard. "She also said that she doesn't want me to become tangled in your family's... mess."

After saying that, Jace was quiet for a long moment. She looked up to him, afraid that her words might have hurt him.

"I really have no idea what is going on with her. She wants to protect me, I guess. She's scared that my heart might get broken. But her behavior is downright foolish. Everything she says doesn't make any sense. There is no reason for us to not see each other. There is also no reason to believe that... that you will break my heart."

Jace looked at her, then, pressing his lips to her forehead. "I would never break your heart, Clary. Not willingly."

"I know that."

"But I also don't want you to – to get caught inside the mess that is my life right now."

"Jace!" Clary turned around so she could get a better look at him. "Don't believe any of what my mum is saying for even a second! It's total garbage. You're going through a bad time right now. Your whole family is. That is more than understandable. But I am with you. I will not leave you. We will get through this together. Staying away from you would hurt me much more. It would be the worst thing happening to me, actually."

Jace smiled at her, stroking her red hair. "Well, your mother isn't the only one who seems to want to pull some weird play of Romeo & Juliet. My grandmother doesn't want me to see you, either. Though it is not because she thinks you might break my heart... She..." Jace swallowed hard and couldn't meet Clary's eyes when he said, "She suspects your father of having something to do with the murders of – of Consul Blackthorn and... my mother."

Clary was silent for a long time before she trusted herself to speak again. "What...? But why? Why would she think that?"

She sounded confused, frightened even. Her father... a murderer? That was not possible. That couldn't be possible. Clary knew that her father was not the most sensible of men, she knew that sometimes, when they'd been children, he would punish Jonathan for disobeying him. He'd sometimes hit him even.

But he would never, _never _kill someone.

"Hey... Clary..." Jace cupped her face in his hands so she would look at him. She hadn't even realized that she had looked away from him. "My grandmother seems to suspect him because there is no one else to suspect. She seems to hold a grudge against your father because he criticized her, because he complained about the way the Council had been leading the Shadowhunter world for quite a long time. She thinks that he would like to have a position of power to himself.

"But all of this doesn't mean that your father has killed anyone. And, most importantly, I don't believe that either. It won't do anyone of us any good if we start suspecting each other of killing someone just because that person had crossed us at some point. Whatever problems my grandmother might have with your father, it has nothing to do with you and me. She told me that I should stop seeing you, that... that it would only pain me more if your father turned out to be guilty."

"Will she interrogate him?" Clary asked.

"I don't know. I'm not sure if she can when there is not even the slightest evidence pointing against him."

Clary only nodded, still feeling nauseous at the thought of her father being suspected for killing two people. Jace pulled her closer to him, holding her in his arms. "It's going to be fine. And besides, it would pain me much more if I had to stay away from you, too. Your mother, my grandmother – they have no idea about what we feel for each other. They have no right to try to keep us apart... When the only thing that keeps me breathing at the moment... the only thing that makes me look forward to getting up every morning... is you."

They looked each other in the eyes. Without even thinking about it, the words tumbled out of Clary's mouth, "Jace... I'm in love with you."

Jace smiled at her, and then he leaned closer to her, kissing her. She pulled her arms around his neck, snuggling as close as possible to him. His lips closed around her lower lip at first, then he softly kissed her upper lip. "I'm in love with you, too, Clary Morgenstern." he breathed against her lips.

Upon hearing him say these words, Clary kissed him again. More passionately, more fiercely this time. She grabbed his hair like she loved to do, her other hand sliding down his back. Somehow they ended up lying on the ground, Jace on top of her.

Not once did they stop kissing. Jace's hands wandered down her body, until they rested at the hem of her shirt. When he, cautiously, pulled up the hem of her shirt a bit and his hand touched her naked skin, Clary suck in a breath.

"Is that... okay?" he asked, seeming not to want to do anything she wasn't yet ready to.

Instead of answering, Clary pulled Jace closer to her once more to kiss him again. Their kisses became wilder, more passionate, their breath came out in gasps and Clary couldn't stop herself from moaning when she felt Jace's hand touching her skin. She drew her legs up, pressing them against his hips so she would feel him even closer to her body.

She couldn't be close enough to him, though. She couldn't feel enough of his touch, his kisses.

When his lips moved away from her only to gently kiss both her earlobes, her eyelids, her cheeks, her nose, tracing down several kisses her jaw, Clary grabbed at the back of his shirt, pulling at it, gasping.

Then his lips moved over her neck. From time to time she would feel his tongue touching her skin and every time he did that, her whole body was shaking up with shivers. It felt so good... Too good... But it was not yet enough... Her whole body was flowing with heat, the tension between Jace and Clary was almost touchable.

He kissed his way down her neck until his lips had reached the point where the collar of her shirt met her skin. Jace looked up to her, then, his eyes glistening in the dark. She saw in his eyes what she was feeling herself. How much he wanted her, how much he needed to be closer to her...

But they both knew that they wanted to take things one step at a time. They didn't want to rush anything.

They didn't even need to say anything.

When Jace saw the look in her eyes, he came back up to her, bending down until their lips touched once again. She bit his lower lip softly, almost gently, and when she heard him moan, she got more courageous and slid her tongue over his lip. Their kisses became even more passionate, more hungrily than before.

"Clary..." he whispered her name, almost desperately. Now she was the one to pull his shirt up a little more. Her hand slid over his stomach, touching the soft skin there, feeling his heat coursing through her veins. Touching him electrified her. Their bodies seemed to have ignited, and they were burning, burning so bright, with so much love and passion and hunger and desire. . .

And she just wished that it would never have to stop, that she could just always be with him, and that tomorrow would never come.

* * *

When Clary tiptoed back inside her house over two hours later, her cheeks where still flushed with heat and her skin was tingling where Jace's hand had touched it, where his lips had kissed it...

This had been the best night of her life. She felt so unbelievably happy. She tried to be quiet when she got home. Clary didn't want to wake anyone – not now that she had almost managed to successfully sneak outside of her bed and back inside.

"I can't lose her. I just can't."

Shocked, her heart pounding with fear, Clary stood still at the sound of her father's voice. She looked around, but there was no sign of him. And he couldn't have possibly seen her... She sneaked to the door which was only half closed and gave way to the living room. It was barely lit in there so she had not realized that someone was there. What was her father doing up at night – and who was he talking to?

"If she ever finds out what you have done, you will certainly lose her. She will hate you."

It was Hodge Starkweather talking. Frowning, Clary leaned closer against the door, trying to listen in on the conversation. "But she doesn't have to know, now, does she? You, Starkweather, are the only one who knows and I'd only let you known because I needed some help. Otherwise I would have done my work by myself, as I prefer to do. But we had come to quite a good agreement, haven't we?

"It is only because of me that the evidence of your... what shall I call it, my old friend?... _dealings with demons _has completely vanished. If the Council had found out about this – I might not even imagine what they would have done to you."

"I know, Valentine. I know. You have done me a great favor. But what you've done... I can't live with this any longer. You're playing a dangerous game."

"I know what I'm doing. I've always known what I'm doing."

Both of them were quiet for a long moment, before Hodge said, "I think there will come a time when you regret what you've done. And that you've only done for power, for... achieving more greatness, as you've called it."

"For making the world better. Stronger. My plans for the future... They are glorious, and you know that. But first there must be change so this greatness can come to pass."

"You've been planning all this for years and... you can't control _it _anymore. You might not have admit so to yourself yet, but you know it's been true for a long time! And all these lies you told your family... This is not going to end well, Valentine."

"I have not asked for your opinion. You will not bail on me, Starkweather. I still have most of the evidence. I'm sure our nice Inquisitor would be thrilled if it were to fall in her hands."

At that, Hodge Starkweather was silent.

Clary, feeling sick and nauseous to the core, had heard enough. She didn't even know how she was getting up the stairs to her room. What had she just heard?

Could it be possible? Could her father have killed Consul Blackthorn and Jace's mother?

But Starkweather and he hadn't said anything about killings. They had talked about... a dangerous game her father was playing, about him wanting to achieve greatness, about lies he'd told them, about his plans, he'd threatened Starkweather and that what her father had done would make her mother hate him...

Clary was shivering. She felt like she would get sick.

There could only be one explanation for what she had just heard. Her father had been doing something – something none of them knew about. Something terrible. He wanted the Shadowhunter world to change...

He had killed them.

He had killed the Consul.

He had killed the mother of the boy she loved.

When Clary opened the door to her room, she tumbled inside, still feeling sick. She looked up in surprise to find Jonathan sit on her bed. "Clary... By the Angel, there you are!" he said, sounding relieved and furious at the same time. "Where the hell have you...-" He stopped when he saw the expression on her face.

"Clary – what's wrong?"

She couldn't stop herself. Clary knelt next to her wastebasket and threw up in it. When she was done, she was still shaking. Her brother had come to her, pulling her back on her feet, taking her in his arms, still worried.

"What is wrong? Clary, are you sick?"

"Dad..." she breathed. "I think Dad might have done something terrible."

Jonathan looked at her, confused, even more worried now. "What are you talking about?"

"I think... I think that he's responsible for the killings. I think he's the one killing people."


	15. The Fury

Oh my godness! You guys are crazy. Absolutely crazy. And I can't even tell you how much I adore you! Since updating - which had only been last night - I have gotten 18 reviews. Eighteen freaking reviews! I can't believe it. This is beyond amazing and I cannot even tell you how much this means to me. You guys rock! Please keep reviewing each chapter, it is so encouraging and incredible to read what you're thinking about this story.

Since it would take me a little long to answer to all of you, I will answer a few questions which have been asked a few times in some of your reviews.

No, Clary and Jace did not have sex. They were only making out. Things will get even steamier between them in this chapter, but as of right now, they are not rushing things.

There were also quite a lot of you who think that Valentine seems to be the big bad behind all of this, some of you even said that it would be quite obvious - all I can say for now is that you might get surprised later. I have some big revelations planned regarding Valentine - he is not a good guy, which is obvious, but he is still Clary's father. Even though this is an AU, I wanted to stick to the characters Cassie has created, or at least to the core of each of them. But that doesn't mean that everything's too clear already, because there still are a lot of changes and other circumstances than in the books which have lead certain characters to do certain things... Which I will not yet tell you about. Not even sure if what I just written makes any sense, but that's all on this topic for now.

As for the demon blood thing - I will not say anything about that right now, because whether Jonathan even has demon blood - and Clary more angel blood, for that matter - and if he has, how he learned about it or if he even knows, will be looked at in later chapters as well.

* * *

**Chapter 15 » The Fury  
**Jonathan held Clary in his arms and tried to calm her down. She had told him in tears how she'd just eavesdropped on their father's conversation with Hodge Starkweather, before she had started panicking and it was almost impossible for her brother to calm her down again.

She just couldn't believe it. Clary did not want to believe it – the thought was too horrible to even comprehend.

She was sure that it was true. That her father had killed Consul Blackthorn and Jace's mother. The thought of that alone made her sick all over again.

"Clary... Hush. It's okay. You need to be quiet, okay? We don't want to wake mum up. And Dad shouldn't come in here, as well. Or what do you want to tell him when he asks you why you're so devastated?"

Clary swallowed hard at that, nodding. She pulled away from her brother, rubbing the tears out of her eyes. He was right, of course. _What _would she tell her father if he found her like this now, crying and panicked? Should she confront him right away?

Ask him if he had anything to do with the killings?

But she couldn't do that. He was still her father... But the thought that he might have killed two people... How could she even call some monster like that still her father?

Jonathan looked at her. He stroked a few remaining tears away from her cheek and when he was sure that she'd calmed down enough, he said, "Maybe Dad didn't do it. I mean – you haven't heard them say that they had killed anyone, have you?"

"But... they obviously didn't talk about the weather, Jonathan! They talked about something... something horrible... Our father had let Starkweather in on some secret of his or he'd blackmailed him into helping him with... something... And Starkweather had said that he couldn't live with whatever they had done any longer. What does that sound like to you?"

"Well..." Jonathan sighed, brushing a hand through his blond hair, shaking his head. He seemed so calm, compared to Clary – he didn't seem as freaked out as she was. "They certainly have done... something. But we shouldn't rush to conclusions. If we confront dad with your suspicions, he will just get angry. And if it turns out that you were wrong, he will be hurt, too."

"But even if he didn't kill them, he seems to have done something else which could be just as terrifying. Starkweather said that mum will hate him if she'll ever find out..."

"Maybe he's cheated on her. Maybe he had an affair with some other woman and Starkweather had found out and to make sure that he wouldn't tell mum, he blackmailed him."

Clary frowned, shaking her head. "If it were something like that, then why all the talk about _achieving greatness _and his _plans for the future_? That doesn't even fit together."

"Maybe he has some political plan... I don't know, I've never been that much interested in the Council's politics, but dad is quite engaged in it. And you know how the Council's been crooked for years. _Everyone _knows that. Maybe dad has pulled a string or two in order to help him gain popularity so that people will want him to become the next Consul. And who says that said strings couldn't be a little... well... not exactly righteous? He wouldn't be the first Shadowhunter to get a position of higher power because he blackmailed and threatened certain people." Jonathan shrugged. "Happens all the time. But that doesn't mean that he would actually kill to get that position."

Clary thought about that for a moment. Imagining her father threatening people to gain power in the Council was not that nice, either, but it was still better than the thought that he might have killed Consul Blackthorn and Celine Herondale.

But still, she thought that there was something more, something worse than just political power games to what her father and Hodge Starkweather had been talking about. Although she _hoped _that Jonathan was right.

"Maybe you're right. Maybe... maybe I have just exaggerated things a little." she said, even though she didn't quite believe it. "I think I should go to bed now."

Jonathan looked at her. "Where have you been this late at night, anyway?"

Swallowing hard, Clary turned to look away from her brother. "Just... out."

"Just out? And you didn't happen to be out with Jace Herondale, huh?"

Taking a deep breath, Clary turned to look at her brother again. "Yes, if you must know, I have been out with Jace. And this is none of your business."

Jonathan looked at her, fury blazing in his black eyes. "Don't you see how he's already managing to have a bad influence on you? You have never been out at night! Especially not without letting anyone know! And the Angel knows what could have happened... That guy isn't good for you, Clary, and I can't believe that you're seeing him despite our mother not wanting you to."

"How do you even know that?" Clary asked, shocked. Then she just sighed and shook her head. "You know what? I don't even wanna know. Just... get out. Okay? I want to sleep now. Get out of my room. Thank you for talking to me about... about Dad. But other than that, I think we're finished here. You have apologized to me that night when I had the nightmare. But turns out you haven't meant anything of what you said."

Jonathan looked at her and Clary could see how hurt and fury were fighting inside of him. He always seemed to be so indifferent about everything – with other people, her older brother never let a single hint of feeling show. But with her, he showed it all. Clary could sense what he was feeling, what he was thinking.

She sensed it when he was hurt. When he was angry.

Especially when he wart hurt because of _her_. When he was angry because of _her_.

"I meant what I'd said. I was sorry for hurting you. But I'm just worried about you." he said at last. "That's all. I don't want my little sister to get hurt. We used to spend so much time together, Clary. And you used to tell me everything. Now you barely tell me anything anymore. You're only with him or your stupid new friends who are only your friends because of him. If it weren't for him, they wouldn't even spare you a second glance. It has always been you and me and now you act like you don't care about me anymore..."

"That is not true Jonathan! You know how much I care about you, how much I love you! You're my big brother and even though I'm with Jace, that won't change anything about that. But how am I to spend time with you, to tell you about everything, when you can't even accept that I'm with Jace? When you try to keep us apart, try to forbid me from seeing him. Instead of supporting me in front of mum, you agree with her." she said, crossing her arms over her chest. "And besides, you don't tell m anything either. You have never told me that you'd made out with Izzy."

At that, Jonathan stared at her, shocked. "Did she tell you that?"

"Yes. She did. She also told me that you had called her by some other name."

All of a sudden, Jonathan seemed nervous and mad. Clary noticed how he'd clenched and unclenched his fists, trying to compose himself. "Did she tell you how I called her?"

"No. She said that she'd been too drunk to remember."

Jonathan just nodded and got out of bed, lost in thoughts suddenly and seemingly not interested in fighting with her anymore.

"Who was that girl Jonathan? If you called Isabelle her name while making out with her, she seems to mean quite a lot to you. You never even told any of us that you had a girlfriend."

Jonathan looked at her, now fury washing through his black eyes like water rushing through a stream. "That's none of your business, Clary. And it doesn't matter anymore. It's been long over."

With that, Jonathan turned around and left her room. Sighing, Clary collapsed on her bed and tried to sleep, though it was nearly impossible to find any sleep when she still felt Jace's lips on her skin and being tormented by dread about what her father might have done.

* * *

Clary had not been able to even look her father in the eyes the whole day. She was relieved that he'd been out most of the day, but when they'd sat together at dinner, Clary could hardly concentrate on eating her food without wanting to throw it up again. She tried to remember what Jonathan had said, tried to tell herself that, whatever it might have been her father and Starkweather had talked about, had had nothing to do with the killings of Consul Blackthorn and Celine Herondale.

Still, Clary couldn't shake that feeling off which was only growing inside her. That, maybe, her first intuition had been right all along... That maybe her father really had killed them... Part of her wanted to scream that it couldn't be possible. That her father couldn't be a murderer. That she was just reading way too much into what she'd heard her father say and, besides, she didn't even eavesdrop on their whole conversation.

But she needed to tell Jace. If he turned out to be guilty anyway and she would not have told him... Clary could never live with that guilt. Part of her – that part that couldn't believe that her father could even kill someone – wanted to protect her father, but another part wanted to protect Jace. And that part of her couldn't call someone who might be a murderer her father.

What would she do, if it turned out to be true?

She was a Morgenstern. Clary had always thought that she could be proud of who she was. But right now, she was finding herself doubting that she should be proud, facing all these secrets that started to unravel right in front of her.

After her parents had gone to bed that night, Clary had gotten ready to sneak out of the house like she'd done last night. Clary needed to see Jace. She needed to tell him what she had heard and she needed to be with him. Clary couldn't stand to be in this house for one more second.

_But what if it is true? What if my father really has something to do with his mum's death? _Clary wondered, that voice whispering inside her head she wanted to shut off but was not able to. _Will he still want to be with me if that happens?_

A tap at her window pulled Clary out of her thoughts. Confused and yet anticipating, she walked over to her window to open it. But Jace wasn't in front of her house under her window waiting for her – he was sitting on her windowsill, grinning brightly at her.

For a moment Clary even forgot about the dread she'd been feeling all day, about her father. She pressed a hand in front of her mouth to keep herself from laughing.

"What are you doing there?"

"Well," Jace said and climbed from the windowsill inside her room. "After you said that you wouldn't climb down your window, I decided to just climb up there to you. I don't want to spend another hour on that hard forest ground." Jace closed his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him.

Clary smiled up at him. "You know that this was cheesy as hell, right? Climbing in through my window?"

"Why," he said, kissing her softly on the lips. "Don't pretend like you're not absolutely into that kind of thing."

Laughing silently, Clary boxed him playfully in the chest, before becoming more serious again. "But what if my parents or my brother find you? They would be furious if they found as, this late at night, in my room, in my... uhm..." Swallowing hard, Clary whispered the last word, "...bed."

"Then we will just make sure that they won't wake up."

"But how?"

"We will be as quiet as possible."

Grinning, they tumbled towards her bed, before crashing down on it. "You call that being quiet?" she whispered against his ear, before their lips met and they kissed each other. Clary put her legs around his hips and closed her arms around his neck. She knew that she should tell him. She needed to tell him.

But the feeling of him kissing her, intoxicating her mind, making it so hard for her to concentrate, to even think straight...

Jace would never forgive her if she didn't tell him.

Clary pulled away from him, taking a deep breath. She had to tell him now or else she would never be able to. Jace, who had rolled on his side next to her, looked bewildered. "We will be careful, okay? Don't worry about your family. They won't notice anything and if you'r really this worried, we can still go outside..."

"No. It's not that." Sighing, she looked at Jace. When he saw the look in her eyes, he seemed to sense that something was wrong. Jace sat up next to her, taking her hand. "What is it, Clary? What's wrong?"

She needed a moment before she found the courage to speak. But when she did, the words tumbled out of her mouth. "I think... I think that the Inquisitor might be right about my father. I... I think that he might have something to do with your mum's death. And with Consul Blackthorn's."

Clary told him everything she had listened in on last night.

When she was finished, she noticed that Jace had let go of her hand. She didn't know why, but that hurt more than she would have thought. She looked at him, almost cautiously, trying to make out what he was feeling right now, what he was thinking. But there were no hints of feelings in his expression. It was like a mask of steel.

"I talked to Jonathan about that. I... I hadn't planned to, but he was in my room when I got here. I was too panicked, to devastated to hide from him what I'd just heard. He said that maybe... that maybe our father had done some political gambling, that he might not have wandered on righteous parts to gain some respect inside the Council. I mean... I didn't hear him talk about murdering someone, but... what he said... it's so..."

Clary couldn't talk anymore. She felt sick again and she felt even more sick when Jace still didn't say anything. She noticed how firm his jaw was set, how he swallowed hard, his whole body was tense beside hers, his fists clenched.

"I will have to tell my grandmother about that." he said at last. Clary, relieved that he'd finally said something, turned to look at him, nodding. "I would even tell her myself." she said. Jace looked at her, now, some of the tension leaving his body. "You're right. He didn't say anything about... about murdering people... but he definitely is up to something and... if it is true..." He tensed again, a flash of pain and fury crossing his expression.

Clary remembered what Jace had told her in the woods at the day of his mother's funeral.

That he wanted to kill the person responsible for killing his mother.

And she could understand. She knew why he wanted to take revenge for his mother's death. But if it was her father, if he wanted to kill her father... Even though Clary would hate him if he were a killer, would she want him to be dead?

"I could understand." Clary said at last, almost whispering these words. "I could understand if you're disgusted by me now. If you don't want to have to do anything with me anymore. It's okay if you want to go. You should, actually. Us being together... It makes things only way too complicated and...-"

"Clary." Jace cut her off. "Why should I be disgusted by you?"

"Because of my father."

At that, he stared at her, surprised, shocked, even. "What are you even talking about? We don't know yet for sure if your father has anything do with my mother's death and even if it turns out to be true... He will pay for it. I swear on the Angel and by whatever Shadowhunter Law there is, he will be held responsible. But you and me..." Jace locked eyes with her and pushed a lose strand of hair out of her face. "I told you that I need you. I told you that you're the one, the only source of comfort I have right now. The only one being able to make me feel better. I could never be disgusted by you. You're not your father. It doesn't matter if us being together makes things more complicated. All I know is that it makes me happy to be with you. That's the only thing that matters to me. If you were not with me right now, I think I'd go mad."

He touched her cheek and for a moment, Clary closed her eyes. "But I would still be the daughter of the man who's killed your mother." she said quietly, choking on these words.

Clary looked at him again. They were silent for a very long moment, until suddenly Jace pulled her in his arms. He laid back in her bed and Clary's head rested on his chest. It felt so perfect lying here with him, like this was exactly how things should be. Like this was were she belonged – in his arms.

"My mother has once told me that Herondale men were special. She told me that there was only one true love for each of them. That every Herondale men would meet that one true love one day and when he had, there could never be another one for him, and that he would rather spend the rest of his life alone if he could not have her. I never believed her, though. Sure, I knew that my mother was the love of my father's life – it was more than obvious. She would often tell me how she had met him for the first time, how he'd gotten on her nerves with his witty and sarcastic remarks."

Jace smiled. "I think that's the one thing my father and I have in common, at least when he'd been younger. But he'd been enchanted by her from the start and she said that she'd liked him from the beginning, too, but she'd not admit so to him. They loved each other so much. Whenever my father was worried, my mother would be able to take some of his burden away, to make him feel better, to give him hope. I never believed her story about Herondale men and their true love. I found it sounded silly, just like that myth about the birthmark that's been carried through generations. It says that the birthmark we have was a blessing from an angel.

"However, these past few days that I've spent with you, Clary, I'm beginning to wonder if my mother was right all along. If that story about Herondale men and their one true love might be true. I realized that at the day of my mother's funeral, when you came over and we went for a walk. There had been no one who was able to comfort me – I'd shut them all out, my father, my grandmother, even Alec and Izzy. But you... I had wanted to shut you out, too, you know. When I saw you standing there at the doorway, unconsciously I had thought about sending you away. But I couldn't make myself do it. I needed to be with you. I needed to hold your hand, to reassure myself that I'm still alive, that I can still feel something.

"So when I was with you, when I kissed you, when you held me in your arms and when I felt so hopeful... That was when I knew. In that moment, I knew that my mother had been right, and that even if I had lost her and that there could never be anything to fill that hole, I had still found someone who held a new place in my life..." He almost whispered as he said, "Someone I hold close to my heart. And I thought that she would be proud, that she would be happy that I've found that. That I have found that one girl she had always said I would find someday, no matter how often I just mocked her for being so hopelessly romantic."

Jace looked down at her. Clary felt tears stung in her eyes. Even though they had barely been together for a few days, it felt so real, so good. She needed him just as much as he needed her and Clary knew herself that there was no one she would rather be with than him.

"There is no such story about the Morgensterns," she said, "But I feel about you the same, Jace. I just... I want to be with you, I don't want to ever be without you." She bit her lower lip, not quite sure how she should form into words what she was feeling. "I don't know. It's like I've known you forever. I can't imagine being without you. I feel like that I belong to you completely."

They looked into each other's eyes for a long time, until Clary remembered something he'd said before. "You told me about a birthmark... Can I see it?"

"Oh. Sure." Jace said and pulled the collar of his shirt down so Clary could see the star-shaped birthmark on his shoulder. Her eyes widened when she saw it. "By the Angel. I have the same one." Clary breathed and pulled back the collar of her own shirt, showing Jace the exact same birthmark on her skin. For a moment, Jace simply stared at it, bewildered. "That's odd. I always thought that this was some Herondale thing. The myths say different things about it, there is one that says that the first Herondale who wanted to become a Shadowhunter was touched by an angel and then there's this one my mother liked to tell the most, the one about it being a blessing an angel gave to a Herondale and the woman he loved.

"However, I have never heard of anyone having that birthmark also."

Jace reached his hand out to her, touching her birthmark. Then he leaned closer, kissing the exact spot where it was. Clary closed her eyes when she felt his lips on her skin, moaning softly. Then his lips moved over her collarbone, further up her neck, her jaw, until he met her lips. When they started kissing, it was like a fire was igniting between them. Clary pressed Jace closer to her body, putting her legs once more around his waist, grabbing at his hair. She felt his tongue slid over her lips and she slightly opened them to let him in, while her hand wandered down his shirt, grabbing the hem of it, wanting to pull it over his head. . .

Suddenly the door burst open and Clary and Jace bolted upright, gasping with shock and breathlessness.

Her father was standing at the now open door, staring at them. She could see Jonathan standing behind him, looking at Clary and Jace, disgust, horror and anger mirroring in his expression. Though it was her father who spoke, "What the hell is going on here?"


	16. And I Cry And Cry and Cry

Thank you so, so, so much for reviewing! I might be repeating myself here, but I love so much to read what you have to say about it. This story means quite a lot to me and it still amazes me that this fic has over 100 reviews now. You truly are amazing; I couldn't ask for better readers.

I would like to clarify one thing, though. I will not make Clary and Jace brother and sister ;-)

Anyway, here's the next chapter. Some family drama is coming...**  
**

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**Chapter 16 » And I Cry And Cry and Cry  
**It felt like they were staring at each other for an eternity. Clary swallowed hard. She didn't know what to say. Her father had caught them. Her father, who might have killed Jace's mother. And Jonathan, who hated Jace and could not stand to see them together. Now he had seen them in bed together, kissing each other, embracing passionately, Clary's legs locked around Jace's hips... Clary could almost sense that he was not saying anything yet because their father was just as angry as he was.

When Jocelyn appeared at Valentine's side, he composed himself. "You." he said to Jace. "Get out of my daughter's bed or I will throw you out of there myself!"

Jace was shaking with rage. Clary knew what he was thinking, she knew that he could barely stop himself from confronting him with the suspicions they had. "Jace..." she said when he still wouldn't move. Swallowing hard, Jace climbed out of Clary's bed. But he reached out his hand to Clary's and, without hesitating, she took it and got out of bed as well.

"Don't you dare touch her..." Jonathan started, but Valentine cut him off, looking at Clary. "I thought your mother had said that you're not allowed to see him. And how dare you overstep the boundaries we've given you and let him inside your room at night? Inside your bed?

"Your behavior is disgusting, Clary! I'm disappointed in you. Never would I have thought that you would do something like that. And you" Valentine turned his gaze to Jace. "Let go of my daughter's hand and leave, or I swear by the Angel that I will throw you out of my house myself."

Jace still didn't let go of Clary's hand. "I don't think that you can tell us what to do – you will not keep us apart. I won't let you."

Fury blazed in her father's eyes. "Dad, please..." Clary begged, but he'd already moved over to Jace and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, tearing him forcefully away from her. "What did you say? I am not used to being respected by you Herondales anyway, but you have no right to talk to me like that in my own house! As well as you have no right to get your hands on my daughter if I tell you not to!"

Jace only smiled at that – it was a smug, arrogant expression which made Valentine only more furious. "And what if I still get my hands on her? What if you can't forbid her to still go see me? What will you do then? _Kill me_?"

Shaking with rage but not yet losing his temper entirely, Valentine pulled Jace after him, dragging him down the stairs. Clary thought that she actually heard Jace laughing as she rushed to follow them. Her mother and Jonathan closing in on her.

"You know..." When they stood at the door, Valentine ready to throw Jace out of the house, Clary heard him say, "if it is true that you are the one who killed my mother, if I find you to be guilty. I will end you! I will kill you! Clary doesn't deserve to have to live with a father like that – with a family like yours that won't even allow her to see the boy she's in love with! But she will not have to endure that any longer. And if I find out that you've killed my mother, I will move heaven and hell so you'll get the punishment you deserve!"

At that, Valentine let go of him, looking at him with genuine surprise and shock in his eyes. "What did you just say?"

"I think you heard me."

"You're accusing me of killing your mother?"

"I'm accusing you of killing both my mother and Consul Blackthorn!"

Clary could almost touch the tension building between them. Her father was still shaking with rage and she could feel that he had lost his temper now, that he could not compose himself anymore.

"How dare you call me a murderer? How dare you break into my house in the middle of the night, get in my daughter's bed and now claiming that I'm a murderer! You Herondales think that you can get away with anything, don't you? You think that the whole world revolves around you and that you can claim anything you want, without even thinking of the consequences!"

"I'm just saying things as they are. And I'm warning you. If you're guilty, you'll pay for killing my mother!"

Valentine had heard enough. He didn't just throw Jace out, he hit him forcefully in the face. "No!" Clary cried, wanting to run to him, but someone held her back – her brother. Jace tumbled backwards, but he managed to stay on his feet. He held a hand to his nose and when he looked up at Valentine, his expression looked murderous.

For a moment Clary thought that he would hit him back, that he would kill her father right there and then with his bare hands. But he composed himself, taking one look at her.

"If I ever caught you in my daughter's room again," Valentine said to him, "I will do much more damage than just hit you, I can promise you as much. You will stay away from Clarissa. If I ever see you two together again, if I so much as hear rumors about you being together, I will make sure that you won't be able to see her anymore."

Jace looked at Valentine, not even flinching. "Neither heaven nor hell could make me stay away from Clary. So you won't manage to do that either!"

Before Valentine could strike out against him once more, Jace had turned around and ran away. It had only taken him seconds to disappear into the night.

Breathing hard, Valentine closed the door, before turning around to his family. Jonathan had let go of Clary and she was staring at her father, blind with rage and embarrassment. "How could you do that? How could you just drag him down here and hit him? What kind of a monster are you?"

Valentine didn't answer he questions, instead he asked, "Why does that foolish boy think that I have killed his mother? Clary, why does he think that I am a _murderer_?"

For a moment, Clary looked at her mother, who still stood at the edge of the stairs, looking shocked and wide-eyed. Clary figured that she wouldn't get any help from her, so she turned around to face her father once again. "Because I told him that you might be the one who'd killed them!" she snapped, feeling more confident than she actually was. "I heard you talking to Hodge Starkweather last night! I heard what you two are up to – your plans for a better future, to achieve greatness... You have done something that's wrong, haven't you? You have done something terrible!

"You've killed Consul Blackthorn and Jace's mother!"

Valentine only stared at his daughter for a very long moment. "You have no idea what Starkweather and I have talked about. Though I can assure you that I have not killed anyone. But you, running in a ridiculous panic to your precious boyfriend, telling him about that. Do you know what he will do now? He will tell his grandmother, the Inquisitor, who'd never respected me much anyway. She will gladly take that opportunity to tell the whole population of Shadowhunters that I'm a murderer!

"And that will be the end of this family. Don't you think that you won't be dragged down along with me? You're a Morgenstern, you stupid girl, and no Herondale! They won't help you when everyone thinks that we're all traitors! That we're dangerous!"

"If anyone is dangerous," Clary spat, knowing that there was no turning back from this point anyway, "then it is you! I will not call someone who might have murdered two people my father!"

Valentine walked over to her. Before either Jonathan or Jocelyn could step between them, he had smacked Clary right in the face. His blow was so forceful that Clary fell hard to the floor. She couldn't believe what had just happened. Couldn't believe that her father had hit her.

She had seen him hit Jonathan before.

She remembered Jonathan's back being covered in bloody slashes after his father had beaten him up once again just because for assuming that Jonathan had disobeyed him, just because he hadn't done as Valentine had told him.

But he had never, not once in her life until now, hit Clary. She remembered sitting on her father's lap when she was a little girl. She remembered him calling her _sweetheart_, telling her stories about Shadowhunters and how he was sure that she would be one of the strongest and best warriors to ever walk this earth. He'd stopped calling her sweetheart a few years ago when he'd found her to be too old to be still treated as a child.

Still, Valentine had never hit his daughter.

Until today.

Clary looked up to her father, tears stinging in her eyes. He looked shocked as well, as if he couldn't believe that he'd lost his temper so badly that he'd hit his daughter. Flinching away from the hurt, the disappointment and the _hate _in his daughter's eyes.

"Valentine!" Jocelyn cried and got to her knees beside Clary, cradling her in her arms. "How could you have just hit her? What the hell is going on with you? Whatever she might have heard... there is no reason for hitting our little girl!"

Fury blazed in her mother's green eyes. "What is even wrong with you? I hardly recognize you anymore! First Clary listens in on some strange conversation you're having which leads her to believe that you might be a murderer, now you're hitting her! What are you doing, Valentine?" she demanded.

Valentine looked at his wife and daughter for a long time in silence, before he took a deep breath. "I've had some... business to do in the Council. Things that one would not exactly call _legal _or righteous." he said, though Clary had a feeling that he was lying. "I shouldn't have hit Clary. I'm sorry about that. But whatever happens now... We'll all have to run the gauntlet."

With that, Valentine turned around and went up the stairs again. Clary was shaking. She still couldn't believe what had happened. She looked up at Jonathan for a moment – he looked disgusted at her, like he was ashamed of her. Then he turned around to follow his father up the steps.

Jocelyn pushed a few lose strands of red hair out of her face. "Does it hurt?" she asked Clary gently, who shook her head. She was still stunned and couldn't even feel the pain. Tears still stung in her eyes, but she would not cry. She would be strong, she would be proud. She wouldn't cry just because her father had hit her. Jocelyn helped her getting on her feet. She dragged Clary gently to the couch, where she sat her down. "I will get us some chocolate milk and then..." She took a deep breath. "Then we will talk."

When she came back with two mugs of hot chocolate and sat down next to her daughter, Clary held her mug in her hands and stared at it in silence for some time. "I'm sorry I disobeyed you when you forbid me to see Jace." she said at last. Her mother was the only one Clary felt the urge to apologize to – because she thought that her mother could maybe understand her if she just listened to her. "I just... I simply couldn't obey you. I _had _to see him."

"I know, honey. It's okay." Sighing, she said, "I realize now that it was foolish of me to believe that you would just listen to me and stop seeing him. After all, I know what it feels like to be sixteen. And I know what it feels like to be in love. It doesn't matter what others might say, one simply wants to be with the person they're in love with. I should have known that you and Jace would find ways to see each other, even if it meant sneaking out at night. But you shouldn't have let him stay here tonight. You should have known that your father would be outraged if he found out. We have never talked about this before – you know, about you having a boy in your room. I think finding you like this was quite a shock to your father."

"But that doesn't make the way he treated Jace right."

"It might not have been. But the way Jace accused him of... of killing his mother without having any evidence wasn't right either."

Clary looked at her mother at that, hesitating before asking at last, "Do you think that Father is telling the truth? Do you think that he really just had some business to do in the Council?"

"Well. If what he's gotten himself into is illegal, I rather don't want to know what it is. But... I know your father, Clary. I've known him for a very long time, even before we had gotten together. We might not agree on things a lot, and I know that he is hungry for power, that he wants to prove himself to the Council. And it is also no real secret that the Council is not always doing things in a justifying sort of way. But I know that he would _never _kill anyone."

As she said that, Jocelyn didn't look at Clary. She wondered if her mother really meant what she was saying. She looked so deeply lost inside her thoughts, like she had gone to some place where Clary could not follow her.

"I know that Jace means much to you. I have seen the way you look at him, the way he held your hand like he didn't want to ever let go of it, even as Valentine told him not to touch you. But your father loves you. When Jace tells the Inquisitor what you have told him and when she starts pillorying Valentine... How will you two be still together when his family suspects your father of murdering Celine?"

Swallowing hard, Clary just shook her head. "We will get through this. Together."

"People will not only despise Valentine when these rumors start spreading. Our whole family will have to suffer because of that. Because of something your father has not done."

At that, they were both silent for several minutes, drinking their hot chocolate. Clary wondered if her mother was right. If what would happen now, what would happen with her father would drive them away from each other, even though they had sworn themselves that they wouldn't let that happen.

"I guess that you've been wondering why I didn't want you to be with Jace." Jocelyn said all of a sudden, looking at Clary. "I know that you could not possibly understand why I had tried to keep you from seeing Jace. I haven't told you the real reasons for that, either."

"I figured that, though I was too mad at you to ask for your real reasons and I thought that you wouldn't tell me anyway. Or you would have told me already."

Nodding, Jocelyn hesitated for a moment and Clary wondered if her mother would turn back now, if she would not tell her what the real reason for wanting her to stay away from Jace was, before saying at last, "Clary, what I am about to tell you is something I've barely told anyone else before. There are only a few people, including your father, who know about that. Maybe you will understand then why I wanted you to stay away from Jace. I wish that maybe you would agree with me after I've told you, but I doubt you will. Still, you have to know.

"I am going to tell you something that happened when I was only over a year older than you. Something that changed my entire life, that made me happy – and broke my heart in the end. Clary... I am going to tell you my story." 

* * *

**Bang!**

Just so you know, the next chapter will be called **_The Story of a Fair Child_.**


	17. The Story of a Fair Child

Before reading this chapter, I would like to tell you a short story - this was actually one of my very first ideas for _Over the Love_. Jocelyn's story was one of my very first bigger ideas for my story - the very first revelation I had in mind. So this chapter means quite a lot to me, I had planned it out from the beginning and when I finally got to write it down, I was pretty enthusiastic about it.

As of right now, I can already tell you that this story will approximately have around 30 chapters. I have yet to write 7 or 8 of them and I can't wait for the weekend to begin so I can have a long, exhausting writing session. God, why can't it be vacation times again? Since I love to tell you guys stuff, I will also tell you that I'm already thinking about a Sequel to this one, as well as planning another Clace-centric story. Though you will probably learn more about these two things when this story gets closer to its end... Which is still quite a few chapters away. But I can tell you that there will be quite a few _booms _coming with every new chapter from now on.

**Althea Vestrit92** - This is awesome to hear! Thank you so much!  
**50shadeslover** - Thanks so much!  
**Disney4ever** - I try to be as fast as I can. Thank you!  
**Guest** - Thank you! Like I said, I try my best!  
**isob3l** - Hope you'll like this one!  
**The Worm in the Apple** - I'm excited to hear what you'll think about this one.  
**Huntress3419** - Thank you!  
**iohito** - That's what I love about cliffys :-P  
**BeccketAndCastle** - Oh God, this is so awful to hear, I'm sorry! And it's so touching how my little story makes you feel better. I feel honoured!

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**Chapter 17 » The Story of a Fair Child****  
**"After I had finished school, I decided to leave Idris for a while. It wasn't easy for me to leave my parents behind, but I just wanted to go someplace new, somewhere I had never been before. I felt the need to just... _get away_, to leave my old life behind and maybe find the place in the world where I really belonged.

Because, who was to say that Idris truly was the place where I belonged, just because it was home? Maybe somewhere out there I would find somewhere else I would call home, even more than Idris had been my home.

I know that you and your brother think that I've spend most of my time here in Idris. But that is not the truth. For almost three years I have lived... Well, I have lived in London. I can't even tell you why I ended up there eventually. I guess I just had to start somewhere and I thought that going to London would be the best decision. From there I would see where my path would lead me. But things turned out quite differently than I would have expected.

You see, Clary, when I was younger, my family – the Fairchilds – had quite a good relationship to the Herondales. It is said that our two families had been close to each other for decades. I have known Stephen my whole life."

Clary stared at her mother, wide-eyed. "What? But... when we were at the masquerade... You two didn't even seem to know each other! And it's not like the Inquisitor had ever been that friendly towards Dad and you, is it? If you two were friends, Stephen and you, why didn't he come over to visit?"

"I said that I'd known Stephen Herondale my whole life. I did not say that we were _friends_. Well, we used to be friends, but we're not anymore. I didn't see Stephen ever since leaving London, and that was 20 years ago. Before I moved to the London Institute, Stephen and I had met a few times whenever his family had had time to come to Idris.

I've only gotten to actually know him, though, when I lived at the Institute. It was the year before Imogen became Inquisitor and left her son to be in charge of the Institute. Stephen was thrilled when I came to live with them. He'd been an only child and there'd been no one his age around. Stephen and I became friends – best friends, even. I remember how much fun we had. He was so happy to finally have someone who he could relate to, someone he could call a friend. We trained together, we went Shadowhunting together... Never once before in my life had I felt this content, this happy.

Soon I realized that I didn't want to go anywhere else. I found that London could be my home – that place I'd been looking for, hoping to find. And I'd been astonished that I had found it this easily. London is a wonderful city. I hope that you'll see it one day, Clary, you would be mesmerized by it. But it was not just London or the Institute and its lovely inhabitants that made me feel quite at home there. It was Stephen. It was him, only, mostly him.

Soon I found myself to be drawn to him even closer. I'd formed an attachment towards him. I realized that my feelings for him had become much more than what friends feel for each other. I had fallen in love with Stephen. He was quite the charmer back then." Without even realizing, Jocelyn had begun to smile while she remembered. "He would always say these funny and sarcastic things. He'd always know how to get on my nerves." She laughed. "But as much as I pretended to be annoyed by him, actually, it made me crave him even more.

And he was beautiful. The most beautiful boy I'd ever seen. He was reckless and dangerous and arrogant and narcissistic and vain. He was all the things a girl should not fall for – but I did anyway. Because there was this sensibility to him, this vulnerability. He hadn't had an easy childhood. His parents were strict, especially his mother, even though she loved him dearly. Eventually, I think, Stephen must have become quite like his mother, regarding him as a father. I would not know, of course, since I haven't seen him as a parent. But I could imagine that well.

Stephen was under a lot of pressure when his mother started training him to be the leader of the Institute that year before she left to become Inquisitor. He had to carry so much on his shoulders. I would always try to help him as much as I could, but most of the time he wouldn't let me. When he sought for ways of distraction, though, he would always come to me. We would spend time together, I would make him forget the burden he carried and make him feel like an actual 18-year-old again.

I'd thought that Stephen didn't feel about me the way I felt about him, but that changed when one night – we were sitting on the roof of the Institute, looking at the starry night sky together – he suddenly kissed me. It just happened and it was... _wonderful_. After that, Stephen and I had been together. I loved him so much and I thought that I would marry him. That we would lead the London Institute together. I was sure that I had found the love of my life, that Stephen Herondale was the man I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. I was so happy. Stephen treated me like a princess. He was so good to me, I felt so loved and admired. It was passionate and intense. I had never felt something like this – not before, nor ever again.

All the while, I thought that he'd felt just as strongly about me as I did about him. I didn't realize that I was wrong. I didn't realize that Stephen had not quite planned our future together as I had. I... I didn't realize that he wasn't thinking about his future, especially not when his future had been planned out for him from the moment he'd been born. I didn't realize that he might have thought that being with me was fun, that he liked me a lot and that he enjoyed spending time with me... And he had been in love with me, that much I know. But he hadn't _loved _me. Not the way I had loved him.

Stephen must have realized that when Celine Montclair arrived at the Institute to begin her Shadowhunter's training. He'd fallen in love with Celine from the very first moment he saw her. And she fell for him, too, even though I think she didn't act on it immediately when she found out that Stephen was with me. For a while I even thought that Celine was annoyed by Stephen's cynical behavior. We had even befriended each other. I had no idea that she was in love with Stephen and that he was in love with her, too, and that he was just too much of a coward to tell me the truth.

Maybe he didn't want to hurt me, but he should have told me from the beginning. Because when he eventually told me, it had been too late already. He had cheated on me. Celine and he had already spent a night together and after being so close to her, he'd realized that she was his one true love and that he never wanted to have to live a single day without her. So he left me to be with her."

For a moment, her mother struggled to go on. Clary looked at her, stunned and not quite comprehending what Jocelyn had just told her. She could almost feel the pain her mother must have gone through then, how much it must have hurt to realize that she had not been the one true love of the man she'd loved. She felt that it still hurt her mother, that these wounds cut deep. Clary reached her hand out to her, grabbing hers, squeezing it encouragingly.

Jocelyn looked at Clary, smiling sadly, before continuing her story, "My heart was broken. I had never felt this much pain. I had never suffered this much than I'd then. I couldn't stay in London anymore, but I was not strong enough to go to someplace else also. So I decided to go back to Idris, to go back home. Stephen had begged my forgiveness, but I couldn't forgive him for what he'd done to me. Also, my parents had been devastated about what had happened. They had hoped that we would marry, that our families would become one. They had seen what he'd done to me as an insult to our family. So not only my heart was broken, also our friendship to the Herondales was destroyed. Like I told you, the Herondales and I have never become friends again.

Now it is like we're strangers to each other.

I hoped to find some rest in Idris, but I'd been wrong. Only weeks after I had returned home, my heart was broken once again. My parents died. It was a demon attack... I'd never been able to find the demon who had killed them, though my parents had been skilled Shadowhunters, so it must have been a Greater Demon. Suddenly I was all alone. The man I'd loved had left me to marry another woman, my parents were dead, and I didn't have that many friends in Idris since a lot of them had decided to leave after finishing school as well.

I was only 19 years old and I was all alone.

That was when Valentine showed up. I had known him before, we had went to school together and he'd been interested in me for quite some time. To be honest, Valentine even asked me to marry him before I'd left for London. Since I had not returned his affections then, though, and my parents had advised me to leave Idris, to experience life before choosing to marry someone, especially choosing to marry someone who I was sure that I loved, I declined.

When he'd heard about my parents' death, he had been the one being there for me. He had not only helped me after my parents had died, he had also listened to me. I found that I could talk to him, that it felt good talking to him. Valentine never tried to exploit my situation. He'd never tried to get close to me just because I was lonely. He was a true friend. He stayed with me at night when I felt too lonely to sleep alone in this house, where I'd grown up, when I missed so much, when the thought of Stephen was too present, when it just hurt too much.

I don't even know how I would have survived these months if it weren't for Valentine. It took me a very, very long time to get over Stephen. But in time, I found myself drawn to your father. I realized that maybe I had been wrong for never sparing him a second glance when we'd gone to school together, for never giving him a chance. I had only ever seen him as a good friend, not even one of these I considered my closest friends.

That changed, of course, when Valentine had been the only one who was there for me, who comforted me and tried to make me feel better.

I fell in love with him. I'm not sure if he actually was still hoping, at the time, that we would get together eventually. He might have secretly hoped, but he never once tried to push me into anything. He wanted to be with me – but he wanted me to choose him of my own accord, not because I was heartbroken and needed some distraction.

So when we finally got together, I was the one to take the first step. I felt that I was ready for something new. There was still some part of me that yearned for Stephen, that was still broken. And, to be entirely honest, I think that this part had never been whole again ever since Stephen had smashed it. This part of my heart would always belong to him. But there was another part of my heart which I had only discovered – the part belonging to your father.

When we got together, I felt completely happy for the first time in over a year. Valentine proposed to me soon after and this time, I accepted his proposal. The day I'd married him had been one of the happiest days of my life. Of course I was sad, also, because my parents couldn't be with me to celebrate my wedding. But Valentine's parents were there, and they loved me like I was their daughter, and a lot of my friends came all the way to Idris for our wedding. Even Valentine's best friend, Lucian, came. They'd been friends their whole lives, but Lucian left Idris after finishing school. He became Head of the Los Angeles Institute later. Sadly, he doesn't have that much time to come to Idris anymore since he's got a lot to do in Los Angeles. You and your brother might not even remember him anymore. He'd last been here when you were around two years old.

After our wedding, Valentine and I moved into the Fairchild manor house. Soon after that, Jonathan had been born. He was such a quiet baby. Even as a child, he seemed to be so mature. Though I have to say that I always hoped to have a little girl. Don't get me wrong, I love your brother, but it was undoubtedly more to Valentine's advantage to have a son. He was proud, of course, to have a strong warrior he would get to train and who would continue the lineage of Morgenstern. He was such a proud father that he decided to name our son Jonathan Christopher – the two most important names in Shadowhunter history.

When I got pregnant with you, I felt from the start that this time it would be different. I'm not sure how to describe it, but I felt from the moment I knew that I was pregnant that you would be the little girl I'd wished for so badly. And you were. You turned out to be the most wonderful and beautiful girl I could have hoped for, and even more than that.

Since Valentine had been the one to choose Jonathan's name, I demanded that I would choose yours. So I named you Clarissa Adele. My sweet, amazing girl. You, Clary, are the best part of my life. If something were to happen to you... I could never live one day in happiness again."

Now Jocelyn was smiling at her. "Even though Stephen Herondale might have broken my heart and even though there's still some part of me that has not yet forgotten about him and probably never will, I don't regret that he had broken it. Because if he'd never left me, I would never have come back to Idris. I would never have married your father. And, most importantly, I wouldn't have you. And you can't even imagine how proud I am of you. And how much I wish for you to be happy. How much I want to protect you."

Jocelyn stroked Clary's red hair, which looked so much like her mother's. "And that is why I'd been concerned when I realized that you're in love with Jace. Because I know exactly how it feels like to lose one's heart to a Herondale. Sadly, you will not get it back, not the way it was before at least. And all I know is that when a Herondale decides to give his heart away, it's permanent. It's forever. I just wish that Jace has given his heart to you."

"But he has."

Sighing, Jocelyn pulled Clary closer to her, kissing the top of her head gently. "You cannot be sure about that."

"But I am. Look, mum..." Clary pulled away from Jocelyn, looking at her. "Jace isn't like his father. He told me that he's in love with me. He told me that he never wants to be without me again. He... he told me that story about how there is only one true love for each Herondale. And that he realized that I might be his. I know that there's never a guarantee, mum, but trying to keep me away from Jace will not make me happy. It'll only make us both unhappy. I want to be with Jace. I _need _to be with him.

He will not break my heart. I will not allow him to.

So please... Just please support me. Don't make me stay away from him."

Jocelyn looked at her daughter for a long moment in silence, before sighing and nodding at last. "I know that nothing will keep you away from him anyway. I just hope that you won't get hurt, sweetheart. Especially now, when the Herondales have even more of a reason to mistrust us."

"But Jace trusts _me_."

Her mother smiled at Clary. "I will try to convince your father to accept that you two are together. After Jace had accused him of murder, though, I don't think that he will accept it this easily." Jocelyn stared at her thoughtfully for a moment, and Clary felt again like her mother was thinking about something else, that there was something she couldn't tell her. Like she'd again traveled to that place where Clary couldn't reach her. When she concentrated on Clary again, however, she smiled. "But don't you worry. It will be alright. Everything's going to be fine."

Clary let her mother pull her in her arms once again. She stroked her shoulder, looking at the birthmark only barely visible under the collar of her shirt. "You know. I remember Stephen having a birthmark similar to yours. He said that legend says that it is a blessing an Angel gave the first Herondale who became a Shadowhunter. That it's some sort of Angel mark.

It did made me wonder why you're born with a mark of an angel, too."

Clary only nodded, though she wondered, too. Maybe there were quite a few Shadowhunters carrying such a mark, not only the Herondales. Maybe they just hadn't realized that yet. Her mother and Clary sat with each other in silence. Only seconds later, though, they heard a knock on the door.

Bewildered, Jocelyn got up from the couch. "Who could that be, this late at night?"

Clary watched her mother go to the door and when she'd opened it, she heard her suck in a breath. Confused and frightened, Clary got up to follow her mother.

A man, maybe in his mid-thirties, was standing at the door, smiling softly at Jocelyn. He had black hair streaked with with gray. He had a thick, black beard and warm, brown eyes.

Clary had no idea who he was, her mother, though, seemed to know exactly who was standing before her.

"Lucian." she breathed, still staring at him with wide eyes. "Hello Jocelyn. It's been quite a long time, isn't it?"

Standing before them was Lucian Graymark.

* * *

Remember when I told you at the beginning that I did not think that Luke would make it into this story?

Well, I lied. Sort of.


	18. Though My Skies Are Turning Gray

Thank you so much for reviewing! I know that I keep repeating myself over and over again, but you cannot imagine how much it means to me that some of you seem to like this story so much. I'd never have expected that when I started writing it.

**Huntress 3419** - Thank you so much!  
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**50shadeslover - **Magnus will be introduced very, very soon! Hint: Chapter 24. And thank you SO much!  
**Caitey - **There's a bit more Clace this chapter, though there'll be more in the next one.  
**Trapped In Narnia - **Not yet, no ;-)  
**isob3l - **Thank you!  
**The Worm in the Apple - **So you know how Jocelyn feels, I think.  
**Winterreader - **Thank you so much! Glad you like it!

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**Chapter 18 » Though My Skies Are Turning Gray****  
**Over three weeks had passed since Jace had accused Valentine Morgenstern of killing his mother as well as Consul Blackthorn. Three weeks had passed since he had told his grandmother, the Inquisitor.

And for the last three weeks, everyone in Idris had talked about the Morgensterns. Everyone who had once listened to Valentine, who might have even agreed to his complaints, talked now as if they had always been sure of what a dishonoring, cruel man he is. As if he'd already been proven guilty.

Even though Inquisitor Herondale did not have any evidence that would prove Valentine being guilty of killing Celine and the former Consul, and he himself had sworn that he didn't kill them, she had accused him openly before the Council of killing the Consul and her daughter-in-law. She had demanded that Valentine Morgenstern would be questioned by the Mortal Sword.

Valentine had not seemed quite happy about being questioned with the sword, but he hadn't repelled it. There would be a hearing in the Hall of Accords in a few days and Clary's father wouldd be questioned by the sword, which would make it impossible for him to lie. He would be questioned about the murders of Consul Blackthorn and Celine Herondale. The Inquisitor herself would question him and she was determined to find out the truth.

Because, in her opinion, they had found the murderer. Now they only needed to prove Valentine Morgenstern guilty of these crimes.

Though, whether or not her father would turn out to be guilty in the end, Clary thought that people would see her as the daughter of a murderer for the rest of her life. That was what it felt like when she walked through Alicante, noticing how people stared at her, whispering behind her back.

Jace had never abandoned her, though, not even once. The Inquisitor – as well as Clary's father, though he had not said anything since that night when when he'd thrown out Jace and hit Clary, because he was ashamed of what he had done to his daughter – didn't want them to meet and she had demanded Jace to keep his distance from Clary, but he wouldn't obey her. They didn't only meet in secret. They walked through Alicante together, holding hands, him showing everyone that he stood at Clary's side, that he loved her, no matter what might happen.

Some thought that it was sick, twisted even, but they didn't care. These times were painful and hard enough on both of them, they needed each other in order to not fall apart.

Whenever Clary was with Jace, she could forget everything that was happening around her. When they were alone, when he held her in his arms, she felt hopeful. There was nothing more she needed, only him.

Though they hadn't overstepped their boundaries once again. Clary didn't visit Jace at the Herondale manor house, and he didn't come to her at night through her window. Most of the time they met in the woods – by that tree which they secretly called "their tree" now.

She had even told Jace the story of his father and her mother. Like Clary had already thought, Jace had known nothing about that. She had said that she didn't believe that he would break her heart the way Stephen had broken Jocelyn's.

After all, they were not their parents.

Clary had kept her distance from Jonathan as well. She often noticed him staring at her when they were in the same room. She knew that he hated her for being with Jace, but she didn't care. If he couldn't accept it, then he would have to be without her from now on. Still it hurt that her brother, the person she had thought she knew better than anyone else in this world only to realize that she had not known him at all, seemed to despise her now.

It was already dark outside when Clary came to the tree where Jace was already waiting for her. He looked up, smiling.

"You know. In a few days everything could change. Our lives could change forever." she said, thinking about the questioning.

Jace only nodded, the smile vanishing from his lips. The thought of his mother alone hurt so much still and if they found the person who had taken her away from him... If it really was Clary's father... But he had not even hesitated to agree to be questioned by the Mortal Sword. Why would he do that if he had something to hide? And if he did hide something, what game was he playing?

"But it won't change how I feel about you. Nothing could change that. Ever."

Jace closed his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him. Before she could say anything to his words, he kissed her softly on the lips.

* * *

Lucian Graymark had come back to Idris to help finding the person who had killed the Consul, to help protect his home land against whatever danger was moving closer and closer towards them, threatening all of them. He would never have thought that he would come home to find his best friend from childhood being the main suspect for committing this crime.

Valentine and he had been friends ever since they were children. Even though they didn't see each other that much the past few years, since Lucian had moved to Los Angeles to become Head of the Institute there, Lucian had never once stopped caring about Valentine, had never stopped being his _Parabatai_.

Still, even _Parabatai _could drift apart from one another. Valentine had found a wife, he had started a family. Though them drifting apart hadn't only happened after Lucian had left Idris – it had started even before, when Jocelyn had come back from London. Lucian had known that Valentine had been in love with her since they'd met at school. He had known Jocelyn himself then. Valentine had almost become a little obsessed with her when he'd learned that she was back. He'd always tried to be closer to her, to take care of her.

And after her parents' tragic death, when she had let him take care of her, he had spend most of his time with her.

Lucian had known that his _Parabatai _had found his place in this world, that he would stay with Jocelyn, no matter if she would ever love him back or not. So even though it had been hard on Lucian to leave Idris, he had known that there was nothing holding him back, except for Valentine. And Valentine had not needed him then.

Lucian had neither married, nor started a family. He had never found this one true love, this woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

It felt strange being in this house again. It had been so many years since he'd last been here – Clary had still been a toddler. He remembered how her older brother had been then, how he had always taken care of his little sister.

Lucian was staring at some photographs. Valentine had been different, then, too. He'd been smiling most of the time, looking at Jocelyn like she was the most beautiful, the most astonishing thing that could have ever happened to him. Now he was tense and distant most of the time, he hadn't even seemed too happy about Lucian being back in Idris.

Of course he had to go through a lot right now.

But there was something about his behavior Lucian couldn't quite put his finger on. Valentine acted like the Council was foolish to even believe that he could have killed someone. He acted like he was better than all of them, like he knew something the rest of them had yet to realize.

He was so angry all the time. Not even Jocelyn could calm his rages, even though she had only ever been the only one being able to do that.

"Lucian?"

He turned around to find Jocelyn watching him. He'd spend a lot time with her these past few weeks. She had endured what had happened rather well – having to watch her husband being framed for murder, people talking about them behind their backs. She was so strong and Lucian admired that.

He had thought that he'd come to Idris to help the Council or to see his _Parabatai _again.

But in the end, he'd come for Jocelyn Morgenstern.

"Are you alright?" she asked him now. He smiled at her. "I'm okay. It's you who should be asked that question, though I think you are far from alright."

Jocelyn only nodded and seated herself on the couch. Lucian knew instinctively that something was troubling her, so he went to sit beside her. "What is wrong?" he asked, because he knew that something was wrong and he would not let Jocelyn go through all of this alone when there was someone who cared about her.

"I have been thinking a lot about what happened lately. About Valentine... about the Herondales... about my children." Taking a deep breath, she looked at him. Not once had Lucian seen Jocelyn let down her guard these past few weeks – but now he saw it all clearly. How scared, frightened she was. How hard everything was for her. "And even though I don't want to believe it, there's some part of me that just can't get it out of my system. I just... I love Valentine and I know that a lot of people – especially in the Council – have their problems with him. I know that he's impulsive and angry and vengeful and he's got a bad temper. But I also know about how good he is, how sensible and loyal and faithful and strong and caring.

"Still, I know why the Inquisitor thinks that Valentine had killed the Consul. I know that what she's saying even makes sense. I just don't want to believe that the bad parts of Valentine had been even worse than I would have ever imagined. That, in the end, his bad parts had been way stronger than the good ones. That I had been so blind, such a fool... But there's also the murder of Celine Herondale and I always ask myself why, if Valentine really is the murderer, would he have killed her. But then I remember how he acted when Stephen and Celine had come to Idris. How jealous he suddenly became. How he would have asked me questions about Stephen, whether I still thought about him a lot.

"It's been so many years. I thought that it was ridiculous of him to still fear that I might want Stephen more than I ever wanted him. We're married. We have a family together. And then Celine died and I thought... Could he have done it? Could he have done it to hurt Stephen, to take away what meant the most to him? I don't even know if that makes sense.

"I don't know anything anymore. There's so much more. It's about Jonathan as well. There has always been something about him that bothered me. Even when he was a baby, I couldn't love him as much as I loved Clary. Something was off about him, I felt it from the very start, though I had always tried to suppress these feelings because he's my boy and I love him. I _have _to love him. So when he was just a baby, I thought that maybe he was quiet. There are babies that don't cry as much, aren't there?

"And when Clary was born, it felt right. It felt perfect. She was my little girl, my whole heart. And when they grew up together, I watched Jonathan protect her. I watched my boy giving his heart away to that sweet girl – like I'd given my heart away to her. And suddenly... suddenly I thought that maybe I was wrong... That maybe Jonathan was just quiet, that it was hard for him to show his feelings, even as a child. But with Clary, he was able to. I think he always felt more connected to her than he felt to Valentine or me. I don't know why, but it just is that way. He would always be with Clary. He almost never left her side.

"They meant so much to each other. When she was hurt, he'd be there for her. They played tricks on each other when they were children. They started training together when they grew older. When he was with Clary, my son seemed... content. Happy. Normal. But there still were these moments when I looked at him, when I looked into these strange black eyes of his and I thought... there was nothing. No feeling at all. And now he is pulling away from us. He is barely at home anymore and I don't even know what my son's up to.

"Does this make me a bad mother, Lucian? Why am I not able to feel this much about my son as I feel about Clary? What is even wrong with me? And now, since Clary is with Stephen's son, I barely notice them spend any time together. It's so strange. I know that Jonathan is protective of her and that maybe he fears that Clary might get hurt, but I notice the way he looks at her sometimes now, like he resents her. She barely talks to him anymore. I don't know what is going on and if I try to talk to Jonathan, he says it's nothing. When I try to talk to Valentine, he says that I'm overreacting, that I'm seeing things.

"But am I just imagining this? What is going on, Lucian? I don't understand it. And I feel like there's so much that's been hidden from me and only lately have I realized how much it actually is, and that I might have decided to just close my eyes so I wouldn't have to take a closer look."

Lucian looks at her, stunned and shocked, not knowing what to say for a long time. He took a deep breath before he put a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it gently. She seemed so desperate, so sad... Lucian just wanted to be there for her.

"Valentine and I are _Parabatai _and seeing him now, even I wonder if I have ever known him at all. And, to be entirely honest, I wonder if I should have even went away to Los Angeles. That maybe I should have stayed here, close to my _Parabatai_, like it should have been my duty. Maybe I could have sensed it when he had started to change..."

"Maybe he never changed at all. Maybe we just didn't want to see."

"Maybe. But what kind of _Parabatai _does that make me?"

Jocelyn looked at him now. "Don't feel guilty about it, Lucian. It is not your fault. You couldn't have known what would happen. And besides, you have achieved so much in Los Angeles. From what I hear, you're one of the best leaders an Institute could wish for. You even try to befriend Downworlders. You don't just act by the Accords, you try to be allies with them instead of ignoring them.

"You have a good reputation with them, and, quite frankly, there is hardly no other Shadowhunter that is being respected by Downworlders. They barely tolerate each other most of the time because they don't have any other choice. Your name is known in Downworld – and there are some you consider your friends, they trust you and you trust them. I think that you have accomplished quite a lot, Lucian, and you should be proud instead of feeling guilty because of Valentine."

"Valentine thinks that I'm a fool. That I can't be taken seriously because of my efforts to work together with Downworlders."

"He is wrong." Jocelyn said simply. For a moment, they both looked at each other. It made them feel stronger, better, just to be closer to each other, to know that someone understood, that someone tried to help.

In that moment the door opened and Valentine came in. When he saw Lucian and Jocelyn sitting together, him still touching her shoulder, he just stared at them, confused.

Lucian let go of Jocelyn and stood up. "Valentine..."

Composing himself, his _Parabatai _just smiled. "Lucian. You're still here. Though I'm afraid I'm not in the mood to talk right now."

With that, he left for his office, leaving Jocelyn and Lucian behind.

* * *

Jace pressed Clary closer against the tree, kissing her passionately and fiercely. These were the moments they both looked forward to. When they were together, when they could just be with each other, forgetting everything that was happening around them...

She grabbed at his hair, her other hand running circles on his back. His hands slid over her hips, his lips slowly moved away from her lips, touching her jaw, her collarbone... Clary gasped, whispered his name.

That was when they heard his voice.

"I have watched this going on long enough now."

Jace and Clary looked up in surprise, breaking away from each other. She felt fear pumping through her veins when she saw Jonathan coming closer towards them. He was carrying a blade.

"This ends right now."

* * *

**Uh-oh. This is bad, isn't it?**


	19. Poisonous Hate

19 reviews since I've updated last night. Oh my God. You guys are amazing. Please keep up with the reviews! Reading them means so, so much to them and you can't even imagine how encouraging they are. I'm so glad to have you as readers - and I hope that all of you will stick around for the other two stories I'm planning at the moment, the new one as well as the Sequel to this which I have both mentioned before.

So, here's the next chapter. In this one you will not only get a little action, but also a peak inside of Jonathan's mind. . . Plus, this chapter is the _longest _one so far!

* * *

**Chapter 19 » Poisonous Hate**

_I never meant to start a war  
I just wanted you to let me in  
_Miley Cyrus – Wrecking Ball

"What is even wrong with you? Just leave us alone." Furious, Jace placed himself right in front of Clary so Jonathan would not be able to reach her. Only now did Clary realize that Jace was armed himself. When he'd seen Jonathan carrying a blade, he had reached to reveal his own blade. He pointed it at her brother, who was pointing his blade at Jace.

Jonathan smiled coldly. He seemed to think that Jace could never beat him.

"Jonathan," Clary began, almost pleading with her brother. "Please just go away. Why do you hate Jace so much? Why can't you just accept that we're together?"

"This is ridiculous, Clary. You don't even know what love is. You think that you love him because he looks pretty, but all the while he is just using you. Do you think that he'll still be with you if it should turn out to be our father who's killed his mother? Are you that naïve or do you just act this way? We won't even be able to still live here if father turns out to be guilty! Everyone will hate us. Don't you get it? Your little boyfriend here will hunt us down. His family will want to see us dead because they think we Morgensterns are lunatics!"

"I don't think that Clary's a lunatic – or her mother, for that matter. But _you _are certainly a lunatic! Not that it's any of your business, but I would never leave Clary. No matter what happens. We belong to each other now. And besides, you haven't just tried to keep us apart now – you have been against Clary and me seeing each other right from the start. I still remember how you threatened to cut me in half should I see your sister again."

"I wish I would have cut you in half when I had the chance. But I can make good for not killing you then now. You can believe me when I say that I will certainly kill you."

Jace only smiled and both boys walked slowly toward each other. Clary's heart was racing inside her chest. She was so scared for Jace. So scared that they would kill each other now. "Please... Stop it!"

But they didn't even listen to her. In only a second Jonathan stood before Jace, slashing his sword at him. He blocked it with his own and then the two of them became a blur, two extremely good Shadowhunters fighting each other to the bitter end. Clary didn't know if she should try to step between them or if that would mean that she would only end up being cut in half. She called out to Jace and her brother over and over again, not knowing how she should even stop them. Fear and anger were rising inside of her.

Jace and Jonathan slashed with their blades at each other. Clary couldn't do much but just stare at them, terrified, shouting over and over at them to stop. But they seemed to have completely gone mad. Clary didn't know what to do to stop them. If she stepped between them, she might get killed herself.

She didn't even have a bloody weapon on her. By the Angel! What kind of a Shadowhunter was she if she didn't even carry a blade with her?

Both of them had already some bloody gashes on them: Jace's face was battered and bruised while Jonathan's shirt was torn open, his chest bleeding out of several deep cuts.

She felt desperation creeping up inside her. She watched as Jonathan slashed at Jace's chest with his sword, watched the fabric of his shirt tear open and a bloody gash tore at his skin... She heard him cry out in pain and in that moment, when he was distracted by the pain, Jonathan kicked him in the stomach so Jace fell to the ground.

"I will end you, right here, right now!" he cried as he stood over Jace, raising his sword above his head, ready to bring it down on him. . .

"No!" Clary cried as loudly as she could. In that moment she noticed Isabelle and Alec appearing beside her. "We heard the noise..." Isabelle told her, already pulling out a Seraph Blade while her brother lunged himself at Jonathan, throwing him out of Jace's way. For a moment it seemed like Jonathan had lost his balance. Alec lunged out once again to slash his blade at him, but Jonathan had already found his balance again and slashed his blade at Alec with incredible speed and strength.

A deep gush cut through Alec's throat... There was blood everywhere, all over him when he fell to the ground... "No!" Clary heard Jace cry who was at Alec's side immediately. "Alec... Alec! No!"

He'd left his blade behind and wasn't even paying attention to Jonathan anymore. He stared at Alec in horror, fear, desperation and anger mirroring his expression. Only now did Clary realize how much Alec really meant to Jace. That he was his best friend. And now Alec had risked his life for him – only a Parabatai would do something like that. And, knowing deep down inside of her that it was true, Alec and Jace had been more than just best friends. They were Parabatai, no matter if they already carried their runes or not. Isabelle stood frozen beside Clary, staring at her brother in utter disbelief before running to him, falling on her knees beside him.

Jonathan took a step toward them, raising his blade once again, ready to take the final strike against Jace...

Driven by a sudden urge, Clary reached for her Stele in her pocket – the only weapon she had on her. Something was pumping through her veins. She didn't even know what she was doing when she held the tip of the Stele to the palm of her hand. She felt the burning sensation she always felt when the Stele touched her skin. She drew something on her skin, a rune...

When she was finished, Clary ran towards Jace and Isabelle. She saw them both look up to Jonathan, Isabelle getting on her feet, raising her blade to block his strike... That was when Clary reached them. She heard Jace calling out her name, but she did not look at him. She stood in front of them, reaching out her hand and turning her palm towards Jonathan.

In that a moment, a rush of power pulsed through her. Power Clary had never felt before in her life... It pulsed through her veins and came free through the rune on her palm... She heard her brother cry out in pain. Horrible, devastating pain... The force of that power coming out of her was so strong that Jonathan crashed against a tree.

He fell to the ground and for a moment, all of them seemed to hold in their breaths. Jonathan didn't move, though Clary was sure that he was still breathing. She didn't know how, but somehow she sensed it. He was just unconscious.

"What... what was that?" Isabelle asked, stammering. "I don't know." Clary answered, falling to her knees beside Jace and Isabelle. That was when she noticed the gash on Alec's throat already healing. An _Iratze _burned on his skin, it had almost faded completely. His chest raised and fell evenly as he breathed, though he wasn't awake yet. "Thanks to the Angel it wasn't a demon attack. Though the gash was quite deep, we were able to heal him with rune magic." Isabelle explained before taking a shaky breath.

"So – let me ask again: What the hell did just happen?"

Clary couldn't do much more than to shrug. "I have no idea." Jace took her hand gently, taking a look at her palm. The rune Clary had drawn on her skin there had almost vanished, just like Alec's _Iratze_. But still there were fine, white scars visible on her palm. "I have never seen that rune before in my life." he said quietly. "It's certainly not in the Gray Book."

Clary took a closer look at it then, too, fear shaking her whole body. "No." she said. "I've never seen it before either. This rune... it doesn't exist. It feels like... I don't know. I just wanted to help you. All I had wanted was to take out Jonathan somehow, to stop him from hurting you. From trying to kill you. I felt so desperate, so helpless. I've never felt this helpless before in my entire life. After all, I'm a Shadowhunter. I shouldn't feel helpless at all.

"But I did not have anything on me. No weapon. Only my Stele. And then I felt this feeling... this urge rushing through me and I just... I began drawing this rune and I somehow _knew _that it would help me beat Jonathan. And it did."

She looked over to her brother, still shocked that he had actually wanted to kill Jace. That he didn't care about how much it would cause her pain if Jace died... He had wanted to kill him so he couldn't have her. She shivered, feeling sick. Clary couldn't believe that this was her brother... this... _monster_. She had always trusted him. Always loved him. Jonathan had been one of the most important persons in her life. Now, however, Clary felt like that she didn't know Jonathan at all anymore.

Maybe the boy she'd thought was her brother had been a lie.

Maybe he'd lied to her all these years. And only now did she realize who the real Jonathan was.

"We need to get out of here. Right now." Clary looked up to find Jace staring at her. Alec was already waking up again, coughing and trying to calm himself down. "What the hell did this son of a bitch think he was doing?" he asked them furiously, though when he saw Clary's eyes widen at the expression _son of a bitch_, Alec's face blushed slightly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean – I mean... You know... what I wanted to say...-"

"It's okay." Clary cut him off, taking a deep breath. She was still too much in shock to even comprehend what had happened. "I'm just glad you're alright, Alec. I'm so sorry for what my brother did to you." If something had happened to him... If it had been her brother who hurt Alec, one of Jace's best friends... One of _her _friends as well... She didn't know what she had done then.

Alec, though, only smiled at her. "Don't you worry, Clary." he said and then he let his sister and Jace help him getting back on his feet. "It's not your fault that your brother... Well, that he's a sick bastard."

Clary only nodded. Without even wanting to, her gaze wandered back to where Jonathan laid on the ground and she sucked in a breath when she noticed him waking up. Jace, who stood beside her, tensed all over again, already reaching for his blade as if he expected Jonathan to attack again.

But he didn't.

He still seemed shaken up from Clary's attack. Jonathan used the tree to steady himself as he found his way back on his feet, staring at Clary the whole time.

"Don't even look at her." Jace said, a clear warning sounding in his voice.

Jonathan ignored him, though, still staring at Clary. "What did you do, Clary? What was that?"

"I don't know." she simply replied, because it was the truth. Clary had no idea what she'd just done or what it even meant. She looked at her brother coldly, not even sure if her heart was breaking because of what he'd try to do or if she didn't love him at all anymore.

"What you did, Jonathan..." Clary said then, softly. "I can't believe that you tried to _kill _Jace. You hurt Alec and if he'd died... You wouldn't care, would you? How can you be this cruel? I don't get it. Why? I have never seen you act like this. For years I have looked up to you. You always were my big brother, my great big brother who I adored so much. _My best friend_. I remember saying that I would never get to have a Parabatai because I already have you. And now... Now it's like I don't even know you anymore and I wonder if I ever knew you at all. Or if you'd been only way too good at keeping this part of yours hidden from me.

"Why, Jonathan, why? Why do you have to ruin everything? Why do you have to do this to me?"

"You are the one who is ruining everything, little sister!" Jonathan said at that. He wasn't able to keep his voice down and Jace, still furious about what Jonathan had just done, that he'd not only tried to kill him but that he'd already wounded Alec, took a step towards him. Clary, though, held his hand out to Jace, grabbing at his wrist. "No. Don't." she said quietly. "He isn't worth it."

When Jace felt Clary's touch, he seemed to calm down a little. Taking a deep breath, he let some of the tension in his body go, only nodding.

Jonathan had watched them with hate burning in his black eyes. Seeing how Clary and Jace reacted to each other, seeing how only her touching him could calm him down, how they didn't even seem to need to talk to each other to understand one another completely... It hurt him. It broke his heart.

It made him feel like he'd just lost the one single person he'd ever cared about.

"I'm your brother." he said now. "How can some guy be more important to you than I am?"

"This isn't some kind of contest, Jonathan. All you had to do was accept that I'm with Jace now! What I feel for you... It wouldn't have changed! But _you _have changed, or at least you have shown me how cruel and vicious and violent you can get. You're _not _my brother anymore! You're not the person I looked up to anymore, the person I loved so much, that meant so much to me! And you know what? Although it hurts like _hell _to have hurt you like this, I don't even regret it because after seeing you like this... After you've hurt me, hurt my friends, tried to kill them... How could I even be able to love you anymore? How can I call someone like you my brother?"

After she'd said that, Jonathan stared at Clary for a long moment which seemed to stretch into an eternity. He swallowed hard, trying not to let it show how much her words hurt him. But they did.

Nothing he'd ever felt had ever hurt this much than Clary saying she didn't love him anymore. His father had hit him. He'd seen his mother look at him like she was scared of him when he'd been only a little boy. He'd heard his father say that he was just a monster, that whatever demons were inside him would burn out all the love in him.

And that it was _his fault_. And Jonathan didn't understand.

He _did _love someone. He loved Clary.

And she'd loved him back. She'd always loved him back. He had never needed his parents, because he'd had Clary. She'd been the only real thing in his life – a world full of shadows and demons and nightmares. The only real thing to hold on to.

Then Jace had shown up and everything had changed all of a sudden. Without being able to do anything about it, he had lost Clary. And now she hated him. All he'd ever wanted to do was protect her, but now she resented him.

"You will never get rid of me!" he said, glaring hatefully at her. Jonathan would never beg his sister to love him again, although that was exactly what he felt like doing right now. He felt like falling to his knees, for the first time in years he felt like crying. He wanted Clary to take him in her arms, to tell him that everything would be alright... Just like she had done so many years ago, that last time Jonathan had ever cried, when they both had still been children.

Jonathan had laid on the floor in the manor's basement, not being able to move after his father had hit him pretty badly. He couldn't even remember why Valentine had hit him then – he usually found some reason for beating the crap out of him, because there usually was something Jonathan had done wrong.

Most of the time, he'd done it when Jocelyn wasn't at home. She shouldn't know. Although Jonathan wondered if his mother had actually cared if she knew.

Clary had known, though. He remembered her coming down into the basement, getting down on her knees beside him. She had been just a girl then, 7 or 8 years old. He'd been 9. He'd tried to be strong, because – at least at that time – he'd thought that his father was right to punish him, that he'd done something wrong and that he deserved to be punished.

His back had been a bloody mess. And it had hurt so much.

He remembered how careful Clary had been when she had treated his wounds without even saying a word. How soft her small hands had been, how much she'd tried not to make him suffer even more. He remembered how she had stroked his blond hair, how she'd whispered reassuringly to him, telling him that everything would be okay, that she would not leave him alone, that she would stay with him forever and that, no matter what might happen, she would try to make the pain go away.

He remembered that he'd cried.

Clary, who had been so much smaller than he was, had taken him inside her arms, she had held him for a very long time.

Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern had realized then that his sister was the only person worth trusting in this goddamned world. That she was the only person in his life who could truly understand him.

But now he wondered if he'd been wrong. If she really did understand him after all.

In the end, however, it did not matter. Jonathan _needed _her. And he would do anything to get her back. He would do anything to show her that they needed to be with each other. That they belonged together.

If he needed to, he would force her to _understand_.

"You promised, don't you remember?" he said now and even though Jonathan did not want to, he couldn't help but sounding desperate. He looked at Clary now, ignoring Jace and the Lightwood siblings. "You promised that you'd always be there for me. That we'd always be together. When we were kids. How can you break that promise now?"

Clary looked at him and for a moment Jonathan thought that he saw something in her eyes – hesitation, maybe. But then her green eyes hardened, and Clary only shook her head. "You broke your promise, too. Remember? You promised to never hurt be. But you did. More than once. It's like you're not even you anymore. Or maybe you are and I just never recognized you for who you really are.

"It's over, Jonathan. You made me decide between my brother and... and the boy I love. I made my choice."

Clary's voice was almost just a whisper. She looked up to Jace, who looked at her, too, like he'd never seen something more beautiful, something more amazing in this world than her. Jonathan wanted to kill him for looking at _his _Clary like that.

"I will not tell Mum and Dad about tonight." Clary said at last, looking at Jonathan once again. "Maybe I should. But I think that they would be disappointed with you. I don't want to cause Mum any more pain than she already has to endure, since everything our family is going through right now. Though I doubt that this is still a family. You tried to kill people I care about, Dad is being framed for murder... Everything is falling apart."

"You're still a Morgenstern!"

"Maybe I am. But I'm not like you."

When she turned to leave, Jonathan tried to take a step towards her. She could not just go. He wanted to reach out his hand to her, wanted to take her with him... But Jace just looked at him, raising his blade, pointing it at him. "If you take as much as one step closer towards Clary, I will be the one to end you."

Jonathan only glared at him, but when Alec and Isabelle reached for their weapons as well, he decided to let Clary go.

For now.

"This is not over, Clary!" he said as he watched her, Jace and their friends walk away. "This is far from over!"

When he couldn't see her anymore, when the darkness has swallowed her completely, Jonathan grasped his blade which was still lying on the floor. Furiously he slashed it at the tree in front of him, over and over and over again.

"Do you hear me?" he cried then. "This will never be over!"

They would pay. All of them.

They would die for taking Clary away from him.

And he would get her back.

If it was the last thing he'll ever do, he would make her love him.

* * *

Clary and Jace stood before the Herondale manor. Isabelle and Alec had parted from them a few minutes ago, going home as well. Jace held Clary in his arms, held her close to him, stroking her red hair, kissing the top of her head. Holding her as close to him as he possibly could. Holding her as close without breaking her, though both of them seemed to want to crush into each other with their bodies, wanted to fold themselves into one person.

"Are you sure that you won't tell your mother about what Jonathan's done? I think she should know."

"I'm sure. At least I think I am." she said quietly, sighing. "I don't know what to do... Who to believe anymore... My father... he will be questioned by the Mortal Sword and he... he might have something to do with your mother's death and still you're here, holding me in your arms. My brother wants to kill you. He could've killed Alec. But you're still with me, comforting me even. And I feel like I don't deserve that."

"Clary..." Jace looked her in the eyes, cupping her face in his hands. "Of course you do. I am the one who doesn't deserve someone as beautiful, good, kind and amazing as you are. I am with you because of who you are, because of the way you make me feel... Not because you're a Morgenstern. It's true, both our families are wildly screwed up. But you're the only thing in my life that feels real. The only thing I need to actually feel alive. And I want to be with you. If that means that I'm not a Herondale, because my grandmother thinks I'm supposed to hate you just because you're a Morgenstern... That's rubbish." Jace leaned closer to her, kissing her on the forehead.

"If my father really did kill your mother... if he has something to do with it... I will hate him. I will hate him for what he put you through. For taking away your mother from you, for taking away his wife from your father. For taking away the life of an innocent human being."

Jace took her in his arms again, trying to fight the wave of pain threatening to wash over him. Clary felt it, though, and she closed her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her, whispering non-words in his ear, soothing him.

They stood like that for a long while, holding on to each other like they would lose each other if they let go for only one second. And that was exactly how it felt like to Jace right now – that everything was about to go up in flames, that he could lose Clary any moment.

"I don't want to be alone tonight." he heard her whisper against his chest. "And I don't want to go home either."

Nodding, he pulled her even closer into his arms, stroking her hair gently. "You can stay with me. If you want."

"But won't your grandmother be mad if she finds out?"

Jace looked down at her, smiling. "I don't exactly care if she gets mad at me or not."

"But we haven't overstepped these boundaries again ever since... well. Ever since my father found us in bed together." Nervously, Clary chewed on her lower lip which Jace found unbelievably endearing. "I don't want to make things worse. And they sure as hell will get a lot worse if your grandmother finds us in bed together."

"You're my girlfriend," he said. "And if I want my girlfriend to spend the night over at my house, then that's it. You don't want to go home tonight and I won't let you. After what just happened, I would like to never let you alone with your brother again."

He took a deep breath. "I want you to stay with me tonight, Clary."

She looked up to him for a long moment. She couldn't help but smile. "So I'm your girlfriend, then?"

"Of course you are. Would you like me to call you Babe?"

"Don't you dare!" she said laughing, hitting him on the arm playfully. Jace only grinned at her, before putting a finger over his lips, indicating that they should better be quiet now.

They sneaked inside the Herondale manor and up the stairs to Jace's room. Stephen and Imogen were already asleep – or maybe they weren't even at home, Jace wasn't quite sure about that. They'd spend a lot of nights at Council lately.

Clary got into Jace's bed. She couldn't help but smile when she breathed in his scent. She watched him as he kicked his boots away and, without really thinking about it, pulled his shirt over his head. When she saw his naked chest, Clary couldn't stop herself from taking a deep breath. He looked at her, swallowing. It surprised her that Jace, of all people, got nervous in a situation like that. It showed her how much this, all of it, meant to him. That it was as overwhelming for him as it was for her.

"Is that... okay? I mean... I always sleep like that..."

"You should better get into bed." she said quietly, grinning.

Jace climbed into the bed behind her, taking her in his arms. Clary snuggled closer to him, leaning her head against his chest, feeling the heat of his skin, listening to the sound of his heartbeat. It was the most wonderful she had ever felt. She felt so incredibly close to Jace.

She closed her eyes as he kissed his way down the back of her neck. Clary shivered at the feeling of his lips on her bare skin. "I won't be able to sleep if you keep doing that."

"Who'd said something about sleeping?"

Laughing softly, Clary turned around so she could face him. She didn't even care that her mother had no idea where she was, that she would be worried if she noticed that Clary was not in her bed tonight. All she wanted now was to be with Jace.

She put her hands on his chest, touching his skin softly, tracing her fingers down to his stomach, feeling his hard muscles under her fingertips.

"I meant it." she whispered then. "You know."

Jace bend down to kiss her on the forehead. "What did you mean?"

"That I've chosen the boy I love."

Jace looked at her for a long moment, before smiling softly. Once again he bend down, but this time he kissed her on the lips. It was a soft kiss, like a feather touching her lips gently.

Whenever they were together, he felt better, he felt stronger, he felt happier. After everything he'd been through, after still suffering so much, Clary was the only one who could make him feel better.

It wasn't easy for him to open himself up to her. He sometimes still felt like he wanted to shut out the whole world around him – including her. But when he looked at her in moments like this, when he saw her smiling at him. He just knew he couldn't.

Without her, there would be no reason at all to still feel hopeful.

When he looked at her again, he said, "And you're the girl I love, Clary. And I was yours the moment we met."

* * *

**I hop you guys are ready for the next one after reading this!**

**Hint: The next chapter will be called _The Revelation (Part 1)_!**


	20. The Revelation – Part 1

Thank you so much for reviewing! It means so much to me that all of you like this story so much. I love writing it. Unfortunately, I think I'll only be able to update next at the end of the week - when it gets closer to the weekend because I have quite a lot to do for school so I can't update daily like I had last week.

I hope you're not mad at me for taking a little longer, but I can assure you that I WILL update - it might just take a few more days than it did last week and the days before that. I have noticed that it takes me a longer to write one chapter now than it had when I first started writing this story (when I had written 17 chapters in only a few days) and I think this is because the chapters of this story are getting longer and longer. This one's even longer than the last chapter.

So, here's the first part of a great revelation. . .**  
**

* * *

**Chapter 20 » The Revelation – Part 1**

_I'm a zombie, zombie, zombie  
Laying underground  
It can't get any worse  
So violate me as you wish  
_Skylar Grey ft. Marilyn Manson – Can't Haunt Me

When Clary woke up the next morning, she laid next to Jace, watching him. Although she figured that it was kind of creepy to watch someone sleep, she just couldn't help herself. Never before had she seen Jace this peaceful. Even when he was awake, when they were together, there was still this wariness about him. Even when he was happy, even when he smiled. Clary felt that it had not been easy for Jace to open himself up to her, and yet he had done it – he didn't have any other choice with her. He hadn't been able to push her away from him.

Still, Jace had build up walls around himself for years. He was always cautious, never letting himself get hurt.

Clary knew how hard these past few weeks must have been on Jace. He'd lost his mother and even though he barely talked about her, Clary knew that he suffered, even when they were together. Sometimes, when Clary was watching him, she saw this raw sadness crossing the features of his angelic face. This pain and anger weighing on him, making it hard for him to let go of his cautiousness completely.

She never pushed him to talk about his mother. She knew that Jace would eventually talk about her when he felt ready, just like he had on the day of Celine Herondale's funeral.

Even though Clary tried not to worry about it, she still wondered if things might change between them if her father was found to be guilty of his mother's murder. She didn't want to think about that. She wanted to think that everything would be fine, that they would be together, no matter what might happen. But there was a part of her that just couldn't be this hopeful.

Maybe Jace would see her through different eyes if her father turned out to be guilty of killing Celine Herondale. He might say right now that he would never see her any differently, but maybe Jace wasn't thinking about what it would mean for him, for her, if her father really had killed his mother. What it would mean for both of their families...

She was still a Morgenstern.

But did it matter what blood flew through one's veins when one's own father was a murderer? How could Clary be proud to carry that name when her father had never been the man she had thought him to be for sixteen years and when her brother had tried to kill the boy she loved?

These past few weeks, there had surfaced so many things about her family, about people she loved, people she had thought she knew better than herself. And now she wondered if she had ever known them at all, if her love for them had ever been real or if it was all just a lie, if her whole life had been nothing more but a lie.

Her father might not be the man she had thought he was all these years. He might even be a cold-blooded, heartless killer. Even though Clary and Valentine had never had the closest bond, he still was her father. She still remembered how he'd taken her in his arms when she'd been small, how he'd comforted her when she hurt herself when trying to chase her brother around the garden behind their house.

When Clary grew up more and more, he had become more strict, he'd treated her more like a grown up, strong and independent Shadowhunter, whereas her mother had always tried to protect Clary. Valentine had never tried to protect her. He wanted her to fight.

Valentine had been the one who'd given Clary her first weapon – a hunting dagger she still carried with her quite often.

Her brother was... She didn't even know what he was anymore. He was obsessive. Cruel. Violent. Self-conscious. He wasn't her Jonathan anymore – the brother she loved, that person she had felt closer to than to anyone else.

And her mother... Only now had Clary realized that she had never known anything about her mother's past. And yet the things she had kept hidden from Clary had not been something to hurt her in the end. She had only tried to keep the love she'd lost as a teenager a secret because it had hurt her too much to even think about it. After having heard her mother's story, Clary could even understand why she'd been concerned about her daughter being with Stephen's son in the beginning.

Never had Clary imagined that there was so much history between the Morgensterns and the Herondales.

Sighing, she climbed out of bed without waking Jace up. Maybe everything would turn out to be fine. Maybe her father had not been the killer after all. And even if he was... Maybe it would change nothing about Jace's love for her.

Clary would never be able to stop loving Jace, she knew as much. Even tearing out her own heart wouldn't be as painful as the thought of losing him.

She took one last look at him, before taking a deep breath. After tonight, they would know. Her father's questioning by the Mortal Sword would be tonight.

Her heart pounding, Clary sneaked out of Jace's room into the hall. It was still quite early and she hoped that she would be able to sneak out of the house without being seen by anyone. As soon as she had thought that, though, someone stepped out of the kitchen and came to a halt right in front of her, looking at her, his eyes widening in surprise.

It was Jace's father.

Stephen Herondale.

Her heart was even more pounding now, in fear, as she looked up to him, swallowing hard. "I was... just about to leave..." she stammered. "I'm sorry..." Clary wanted to turn around quickly and make a sprint for the door, but Stephen put a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it gently.

"It's okay. I'm not mad at you for staying the night. Though you are lucky that I'm the one who has caught you and not my mother. She would be torturing you with a various amount of weapons, I think." Smiling, though his smile didn't reach his eyes, he let go of her, taking a deep breath.

Clary could see that he was a broken man.

Whereas Jace tried to hide his pain as much as he could, it was clearly visible to anyone how much Stephen Herondale was suffering. He was in so much pain. He felt so lost, so lonely without his wife. Clary's heart was aching for him.

"I'm so sorry that... that the Inquisitor is putting your family through so much right now. To be entirely sure, I don't even know if I share my mother's suspicions about Valentine. It just doesn't make sense to me, why he would... why he would have something to do with... with Celine's death. Valentine Morgenstern and I have never known each other. It's quite complicated right now. I don't even know what to think. A part of me wants to find out who is responsible for Celine's death, but I also know that it won't bring her back. And this knowledge alone makes me feel... like I don't even want to get out of bed anymore because without her, everything feels senseless and just... wrong."

Taking a deep breath, Stephen looked at Clary again. She knew what it was he did not say out loud – that, if her father was the guilty one, he would have to pay for his actions. And that taking revenge for his wife's death would not bring her back, it might not even bring him peace, but it was better than never knowing.

"I'm still sure that whatever might be going on between our families right now, it shouldn't complicate things between my son and you. Jace is... He has always kept a lot to himself. The only one he really opened up to was his mother. Even with me, Jace had never been this open. And now, just looking at him, I know how much he's shut out everyone around him. His grandmother, me, even his best friends. He tries to be brave, to act confident and strong. But even though Jace would say otherwise, I know my son. I know him better than he might think. And I know how much he is suffering. I know that he's in such deep pain.

"And, you know, I'm glad that he has you. Somehow, my son is able to open up to you. Somehow, you manage to give him hope... Without him, he might even be lost, I think. Because I can't reach out to him... And right now, I think I don't even have the strength to reach out to him, even though I know I should because I'm his father and I have to take care of him. But he has you and I think, right now, you're the best thing in his life. That's why I don't agree with my mother to try to keep you two away from each other – because without you, my son would be completely hopeless. And I could never take away the one thing that makes him happy in times as bad as these. Whenever I watch him sneak out of the house to go meet you, I notice how much he looks forward to seeing you. And when he gets back..."

A small smile crossed his lips. And now it even reached Stephen Herondale's eyes.

"He looks so much lighter. So much happier. As if being with you alone takes the weight off of his shoulder, even if it's just for a short amount of time. So I really don't mind if you stay overnight – you should just not let yourself be seen by Jace's grandmother."

Clary smiled at him. "Thank you, Mr. Herondale." she said and she meant it. When Clary turned to leave, she hesitated for a moment, turning around to look at Jace's father once more. "My mother... she had told me about your shared past..."

Stephen looked at her, surprised for a moment, before smiling sadly, painfully. "I never wanted to hurt your mother, Clary. You have to believe me. It was never my intention to cause her any pain. I even tried to make myself love her more... To love her more than Celine... But the thing is, when true love comes around the corner, one is not able to push it away for a long time. I realize that I should have been honest to your mother from the beginning. I was just... Well, I guess I was too cowardly. But I cherished your mother, Clary, I still do. She is a wonderful woman and I miss being friends with her.

"It is mostly for her sake that I hope that her husband... that he had nothing to do with Celine's death. She doesn't deserve to have to go through such horrible things. Neither do you. You look a lot like her, you know. You look so much like Jocelyn when she was your age. When she came to the London Institute and I met her for the first time."

Smiling thoughtfully for a moment, remembering times that were long gone, he said, "Your mother might think that I've never cared about her – that I don't care about her anymore. And you might even think of me as not being honorable for doing what I did to Jocelyn. But that is not true. I have always cared about her. I just... I could never love her as she had loved me."

"I know, Mr. Herondale." Clary said softly. "And I think that my mum knows, too. You should not be so hard on yourself. Who knows, maybe you'll be friends again someday."

"Who knows. Maybe." he just said, before turning away from Clary. She took a deep breath, before turning away herself again and leaving the Herondale's manor.

And she thought that she could understand why her mother had fallen for Stephen Herondale when she was young.

Even though Jace's and her story was very different from the one of Jocelyn Fairchild and Stephen Herondale, there still was something about Herondale men.

Once one was captivated by a Herondale man, one couldn't seem to forget about him. Ever.

* * *

Lucian knew that Jocelyn was nervous about Valentine's questioning today, even though she tried to hide it. He worried quite a lot about her – even more than he worried about Valentine.

"Clary hasn't slept at home last night. I have not seen Jonathan as well since yesterday morning. I have no idea where my daughter is or what my son is up to. As for Valentine, he barely talks to me anymore. He doesn't even want to talk about the fact that he's being questioned by the Mortal Sword tonight." Jocelyn said. She seemed tense and Lucian would have liked to lift some of the weight she was carrying off her shoulders, but he knew that he couldn't.

"I'm sure that she's okay. Maybe she has just spent the night over at Jace's. And Jonathan... Well. Maybe they just don't want to stay here that much right now because of everything that's going on."

"I know. And I could even understand that. But why doesn't Clary _talk _to me? Why can't she just tell me when she's spending the night somewhere else, especially when it's with her boyfriend. I need her to trust me or else we will...-"

Before Jocelyn could finish what she'd been saying, though, the door opened and Clary walked in. She looked up, obviously surprised to see that someone was already up this early. "Oh. Mum..." she began, but Jocelyn got up from her chair at once and rushed over to her daughter, hugging her closely to her chest. "Clary! Don't you even realize how worried I was about you? Where have you been?"

Taking a deep breath, Lucian watched as Clary hugged her mother as well before pulling away from her. "I'm sorry. I know I should have told you or asked you if I am allowed to, but I spent the night at Jace's. We just... sort of fell asleep because it was so late already and I was tired..."

"And his grandmother didn't mind?" Jocelyn asked, sceptically.

"Well. She didn't find out that I'd spent the night in Jace's room."

"Oh. I see." Jocelyn took a deep breath before hugging Clary once more. "It's fine. I figured that you might have spent the night at their house, but I was worried still. Next time, just tell me so I know where you are. Okay?"

"I will. Thanks mum."

When they pulled away from each other, Clary looked at Lucian, smiling. "Hey Luke – what's up?" She called him Luke most of the time since he'd told her that that was what she had called him the last time they had met. Clary had been only around two years old then and since she hadn't been able to pronounce _Lucian_, she had just started calling him_ Luke_. So now she had gone back to calling him that and Lucian had to admit that he liked it.

He liked Clary as well. She was such a sweet young girl. She was so much like her mother.

"I'm good. And you?"

Clary only nodded, looking from her mother to Lucian. "So. Today's dad's questioning..."

Taking a deep breath, Jocelyn put a hand on her daughter's shoulder. "Everything is going to be fine, Clary. I promise. I'm sure that your father has nothing to do with the killings of Consul Blackthorn and Celine Herondale."

"But what if it is true? What if he has killed them? What should we do then?"

"We will stand together as a family, no matter what happens. Although I'm quite disappointed in you for even thinking that I might have something to do with those killings for a second, Clarissa. I know that your allegiance seems to lie with the Herondales now, but you're still a Morgenstern. You're still my daughter. That boy has brainwashed you quite a lot, I think."

Surprised – and a little shocked – everyone looked up to see Valentine standing in the kitchen. They hadn't even noticed him coming in.

"I didn't mean it...-"

"Stop talking to our daughter like that, Valentine." Jocelyn said, putting an arm protectively around Clary's shoulders. "After everything that's happened, after everything she has to go through right now... Does it really surprise you that Clary is wondering if there might be some truth to Imogen's accusations? She is only sixteen years old. She is still a girl and now she has to deal with the fact that her father is being accused of murdering her boyfriend's mother."

Valentine glared at Jocelyn for a moment. Clary remembered the way he had looked at her mother only a few weeks ago – on that very night that had ruined all their lives. Before they had gone to the masquerade ball, her father had looked at her mother with such love and tenderness in his eyes. Clary had never seen their parents as a couple – they had always kept this part of their lives to themselves. Of course she would sometimes see them kissing or holding hands at the kitchen table, but these moments were rare.

"But she is a part of that family. I am her father and I expect her to trust me. But how can I expect my own daughter to trust me if even my wife doesn't trust me – or, for that matter, my Parabatai?" He looked at Lucian and for a moment Clary thought that there was such hate in her father's eyes. He'd always been hard at heart, he'd never shown that much feeling, he could be cruel at times.

But never had Clary thought her father to be hateful.

"When you came back to Idris, old friend, I thought it was because of me. I know, even though we're Parabatai, that we've drifted apart over the years. Still, the way you look at me, as if you're wondering if I really am a murderer... That hurts me more than I could even put into words, Lucian. Why do you all even think that I let myself be questioned by the Mortal Sword willingly? You know that there is no power that could make oneself be able to lie to the Mortal Sword."

He looked at all of them for a moment, before turning to the door.

"Valentine..." Jocelyn started, taking a deep breath. "Where are you going?"

"I need to be by myself now." was all Clary's father said before leaving the house. For a long moment, all three of them stayed silent, not sure what to say – or what to think.

That was when Lucian stood up himself. "I will try to find Valentine, talk to him. Even though I'm not sure what is even going on here, he is right about one thing. I haven't been a good Parabatai lately and maybe I should have since I have come all the way to Idris because of what happened. And as soon as I'd found out that the Inquisitor was suspecting Valentine, I should have done something... I should have tried to find out the truth, at least."

For a moment, Jocelyn seemed to want to try to keep him from going, but she just nodded and both Clary and her looked after Lucian when he left the house, just minutes after Valentine had.

Taking a deep breath, Clary looked at her mother. "What will happen now?"

Jocelyn regarded her thoughtfully, before taking her daughter in her arms once more, holding her close to her, as if she feared that she might lose her if she let go.

"I don't know. But whatever happens, we'll be together, Clary. You and me. I will never leave you, sweetheart."

* * *

Even though Lucian had thought that he would be able to find Valentine easily since he'd only left minutes after him, it had taken him hours until he finally found him, somewhere deep in the woods. It was already beginning to get dark and Lucian thought that it would soon be time for Valentine's questioning – so what was he doing in here when he should be on his way back home, on his way to the Hall of Accords?

When Lucian had finally found him, Valentine was not alone, though. He was with a woman – a woman Lucian had never met before. She had long, dark hair and one could have described her as looking rather beautiful. Except that she had snakes for eyes.

His heart racing with fear, Lucian backed away further into the woods. He figured that he was far away enough for them not to notice him, but he could still hear their conversation.

"... threaten me, Lilith. I never owed you anything. So please do me a favor and leave me alone." Valentine was saying right now.

"So rude and disrespectful, Valentine Morgenstern. When we met the last time, over 18 years ago, you were much more charming to get me to give you some of my blood. Strangely, now you don't seem to be too keen about seeing me again. Maybe it is because you threw me right back into Hell once you've summoned me."

"I would never have risked letting a Greater Demon like you walk this earth, haven't I? You gave me what I asked of you of your own free will. I don't even know how you managed to crawl back out of hell and how you managed to come here. You weren't that strong the first time we met. You'd still suffered from being destroyed the last time, having not been fully resurrected even... If the myths are correct, it was Jonathan Shadowhunter himself who had slain you. The first and very best Shadowhunter who ever existed."

"Don't believe all the stories you hear, Valentine Morgenstern." Lilith said, smiling an evil smile.

"But they are all true in the end."

Lucian couldn't do nothing more than stare at the snake-eyed woman. It was her. It was Lilith. Who didn't know her name? It was one of the most important names in Demonology. She went by many other names, as well – Talto, Satrina, Lady Ebony, Kali, Batna.

She had been a mortal woman originally, having been created by God to become Adam's wife. When she would neither obey God nor Adam, she was cast out of Eden and entered a relationship with a Fallen Angel named Samael, which corrupted her into the First Demon that had been originally human.

She was the mother of all demons.

"I gave you some of my blood because I thought that your son could one day be of use to me. He is _my son _after all. Didn't you ever notice how your own wife, his so-called mother, is disgusted by only looking at him? How she had never been able to love him as much as she loves her daughter? She might not have known the truth, but she certainly sensed that something is different about him. That something about him is _evil_.

"You tried to control him, Valentine, didn't you? But you failed. You might not want to admit it to yourself just yet, but you've known it deep down inside for years now. You failed on controlling your son. Jonathan Christopher is way too much out of your reach. He has gone spinning out of control, doing what he thinks is right, taking what he thinks is his.

"You soon realized what a great mistake you've made, didn't you? I figure it must have only been a few years after his birth that you realized that it had been a mistake trying to experiment on your son with demon blood. You must think that you've made a beast, a monster out of him. But then you saw how your son was taking care of his little sister... You saw how much he loved her, how good it seemed to do him to be with her.

"He might not have loved you or his mother. But he clearly loved his sister. Though it wasn't just brotherly love, was it? When did you realize that Jonathan's love for his sister might be much more than just that – that it might be obsessive, sick? A brother, wanting to devour his sister... How dramatic. You became scared of the monster you made, Valentine. Driven by craziness and the hunger to prove what an extraordinary, innovative Shadowhunter you are, you acted without even thinking about the consequences. You wanted to lead the Shadowhunter world into a better, greater future. You wanted them to become stronger, to become better. You wanted to change everything.

"All you managed to do in the end, though, is losing everything you ever cared about. You regret what you did to your son. You think that it is your fault. And you hate yourself for making him the way he is, although you try not to admit it to yourself, so you punish him. You punished him for something he did not have any control over for all these years. All you have, Valentine Morgenstern, had been build on lies.

"Don't you think that I wasn't able to see you for who you really are, Valentine? I have seen the darkness in your heart from the moment we met. You claim to love – but you think that love is _possession_. That thinking, you son and you share. I have seen what you did to get closer to the woman you love. The woman you wanted to possess."

"Stop it!" Valentine cried, looking at her, his eyes blazing with fury and craziness.

"You can't run away from the truth forever, Valentine Morgenstern. That love you and Jocelyn have – it's build on a lie. You have killed her parents. You killed them because they would not want you to marry their daughter. They told her to go away, chase her dreams. So she rejected you and went to London, where she fell in love with Stephen Herondale. You've never gotten over that. So when she came back after her heart had been broken by Herondale, you killed her parents – to devastate her much further. So she was all alone and you could creep your way into her life.

"_That _is real love, isn't it? And on top of all that, you gave demon blood to her son when he was only growing in her womb. You destroyed her life just so she would love you. Because otherwise she would never have been lonely and desperate enough to marry you..."

"Stop it!" he cried again. "Shut the hell up! You know nothing. Nothing about what I've done and why I've done it! She would have loved me! She loved me in the end, she loved me for me and not because of anything else! I might have killed her parents, but they would never have let us be together! I was even starting to become a friend before I'd done it. They deserved to die!"

Lucian couldn't believe what he was hearing. He stood pressed against a tree, unable to even move an inch. Valentine had killed Jocelyn's parents? Swallowing hard, he just wanted to move away, to get straight to Jocelyn and tell her what he'd heard. Valentine had killed her parents in order to get closer to her when she had been broken, when she'd been all alone...

Never would Lucian have imagined Valentine, _his Parabatai_, being capable of doing something as cruel as that.

And apparently, that wasn't even everything he'd done. The way Lilith had talked about Jonathan... He had given the boy her blood, even before he'd been born. Lucian remembered what Jocelyn had told her about Jonathan – how she often felt like she couldn't really love her son, that there was something wrong with him.

Suddenly, all she was saying made perfectly, horribly sense.

Something was wrong with her son because some part of Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern was demonic in origin.

"What is it that you want, anyway? What are you doing here?"

"I am not here because of you, fool." Lilith said. "I'm here because of _my son_. You don't even realize what we have been doing this whole time, what we are trying to achieve."

Valentine looked at Lilith, realization seeming to cross his expression. "What are you...-" he started, but Lilith cut him off, "I just thought you should want to know – your Parabatai his watching us. He must have heard everything I just said."

Startled, Valentine whirled around and he looked directly at Lucian. For a moment, both of them stared at each other.

Then Lucian ran off. He ran as fast as he could, through the woods, back the the manor house... He heard Valentine calling after him, he heard Lilith laughing in sheer gloating. But he didn't stop. He had to get to Jocelyn, they had to get Clary. They had to get away from Valentine and... and that _thing_.

When he reached the manor house, he stormed inside immediately, coming to a halt in front of Jocelyn, feeling breathless. "Jocelyn... We... we need to get away from here. We need to leave right now!"

Shocked and confused, Jocelyn looked at him. "What are you talking about, Luke? What's wrong? Is it about Valentine? Did something happen? His trial starts soon..."

"Valentine has killed your parents!" The words stumbled out of his mouth. Jocelyn's expression turned into one of utter disbelieving. "What? Why are you saying such a thing, Luke? What is going on?"

"I am telling the truth! Jocelyn, please believe me... Valentine killed your parents to get closer to you. He thought that he had to kill them because otherwise, you would never have married him. Because they were against him. He killed them so you were all alone... So he could be the one being there for you, your savior. He killed them! And it's not just that... He gave demon blood to Jonathan! He made a... a monster out of him! He'd gotten the blood from a Greater Demon – from Lilith! I have heard them talking in the woods.

"Jocelyn, please, listen to me!" Luke reached out to grab her hands, looking right into her eyes. She looked shocked, confused and frightened. "We have to get away from here. From him. Where's Clary? We're taking her with us. We have to leave Idris. And we have to hurry before Valentine comes here... Please, Jocelyn... I know this isn't easy for you. It's a lot to take in. But only the Angel knows what will happen if Valentine reaches us in time... He had noticed me eavesdropping on his conversation with Lilith... He might already be on his way..."

At that, Jocelyn seemed to be thrown back into reality. She looked up to him, nodding. "Clary has left only a few minutes before you came. We need to find her..."

But then the door crashed open and Valentine came in. Lucian turned around to him and stepped in front of Jocelyn. He would protect her. He would protect her with his life.

"You will not go anywhere." he said, hate and fury blazing in his eyes like fire.

"I can't believe I ever trusted you. That I ever thought I knew you. You're... you're a monster, Valentine!"

"This is none of your business, Lucian. _You _were the one leaving me, your Parabatai, behind to become best friends with Downworlders. My marriage does not concern you, although you seemed to have developed a certain liking towards my wife."

"I am not your wife anymore!" Jocelyn cried, taking a few steps towards Valentine. "Is it true? Did you... did you kill my parents?"

For a moment, Valentine looked at her in silence. Then he nodded. "Yes." he said without a trace of regret in his voice. "I did."

"HOW COULD YOU?" she cried, wanting to throw herself at him, to kill him with her bare hands for making her life a lie for over 18 years. "And Jonathan... WHAT DID YOU DO TO OUR SON? And I loved you! I loved the man I thought you were! What have you done? Why... why did you do this to me? To OUR FAMILY?"

Valentine only looked at her, for the first time a sense of feeling seemed to be mirroring in his eyes. "I wanted to make this world a better place. I wanted to make Shadowhunters better, stronger. And Jonathan... He could have been the best. The greatest. Everything should have started with him. The beginning of a glorious era of Shadowhunters. We could have come out of hiding, standing above mundanes even. With myself as the leader. But no one ever understood. No one wanted to listen. They were not ready yet. In fact, they say that I've killed the Consul and that Herondale woman. All my plans... Destroyed." Tears were shining in his eyes. Shocked, Lucian stared at him.

"I am sorry, Jocelyn. I really am. I tried so hard... And I failed. I am not able to control him anymore. You might not understand why I did what I've done. And you might feel like I've lied to you the whole time... But you mean everything to me, Jocelyn. You always have. And you always will...-"

"You destroyed our son. This is your fault! All the rubbish you're talking now, about building a better future... All you wanted was power – and Jonathan should have gotten you that power! You... you killed my parents. All these years, I thought that I loved you. And that you loved me, too. But everything was just a lie. You don't even know what love is! Just tell me – did you do something to Clary as well?"

"I _love_ you, Jocelyn. I needed you to myself or else we would never have been able to be together." He took a deep breath. "Clarissa is the complete opposite of Jonathan." was all Valentine said then, his expression turning to one of cold, lifeless stone.

Lucian stepped closer to Jocelyn, trying to keep her from attacking Valentine. "We will leave now. Get to your trial, Valentine. Confess your crimes. It would only be for the best. Jocelyn, Clary and I will leave. Get out of the way."

A small smile crossed his lips and in that moment, Valentine drew a blade, pointing it straight at the man who once had been his best friend – his Parabatai.

And who he now wanted to kill.

"Like I said, you will not go anywhere. Jocelyn stays here. With me. Where she belongs. If you try to fight me, I will have to kill you.

"Both of you."


	21. The Revelation – Part 2

Thank you so much for reviewing! I appreciate all of your reviews and thoughts on the story, that means quite a lot to me. I'm so happy that tomorrow's Friday and since my weekend will be one day longer because I have Monday off, I hope to get a lot of writing down on the weekend. Since quite a few of you have asked some questions, I decided to answer to each review seperately again.****

50shadeslover - No, as of right now, I'm not planning on Luke becoming a werewolf. It just wouldn't fit into the story at this point. He's just as great as a Shadowhunter, I think.**  
Trapped In Narnia - **Oh yes. He is.**  
Althea Vestrit91 - **Thank you!**  
ByTheAngelIsThatWillHerondale - **Thanks so much! Your username is fab, btw!**  
Guest -** That sums it up perfectly, haha.**  
Disney4ever - **Aww, thank you so much!**  
shannie83 - **Yes, he really is kinda psycho.**  
Guest - **Thank you so much!**  
Huntress3419 - **Thank you!**  
The Worm in the Apple - **Well, now it's Jonathan's turn xD**  
ArwenGrangerStark - **Right now Jace is still in denial. He has not shut Clary out, but that is because of his feelings for her. He still is bitter and angry - but he is also still in shock. There will be more about Jace dealing with his mom's death coming, especially in the Sequel.**  
UniQueMiml - **Thank you! And I think that you are right - in some way, I feel sorry for him, too. But after the way he acted, I think it's also understandable that Clary pulls away from him.****

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**Chapter 21 » The Revelation – Part 2**

_I don't get surprised or terrified  
There are no more tears left to cry  
Nothing could take my breath away  
My lung are empty anyway  
Do what you like, I'm not alive  
_Skylar Grey ft. Marilyn Manson – Can't Haunt Me

When Clary had found the message lying on her pillow, she had been surprised at first. It had been a message from Jace. It had been in his handwriting. She wondered how he'd been able to leave that message there, if he might even have climbed secretly through her window to get that message to her... The thought excited her, though.

Maybe it would have been better if she'd stayed at home. Her father's trial would begin in only an hour and maybe it would be best if she was with her family in times like these. But Clary just couldn't stay at home when Jace needed her. He didn't seem to want to be with his family either. He wanted to be with her. He did not want to think about what might happen tonight.

And Clary didn't want to think about it as well. She only wanted to be with him, wanted to be held in his arms.

Clary thought about how her father had said that her allegiance was now lying with the Herondales. But that was not true. Her allegiance laid with _Jace _and no one else but him. He was the most important, the most precious part of her life now. Clary hoped that things would get better... That, whatever might surface in her father's questioning tonight, would change nothing between them.

But Clary felt hopeful. She belonged to Jace. And he belonged to her. Whatever might happen, they would face it together. They would make it through _anything _together. Even though her family might be destroyed – even though Clary wondered if it had already been damaged before she had met Jace – and his had fallen apart, they still had each other.

They could be each other's family now.

Her heart pounding with excitement, Clary walked through the woods, to her and Jace's spot. When she got there, however, Jace was nowhere to be seen. Frowning, Clary looked around herself. She'd thought that he would be already there – that was what it had said in his message, anyway.

"Jace?"

Still looking for him, Clary didn't notice how someone was approaching her from behind. Only when she heard his voice, did Clary realize that all of this had been a trick. He had left that note for her – he'd tricked her into coming here. And no one knew that she was here, that she was alone with him. And no one, except for Jace and the Lightwoods, even knew how dangerous he was.

He had tricked her into coming here tonight so they would be all alone.

"Jace is not coming, sweet sister. But I'm here."

How could she have been this stupid?

Slowly, she turned around to face her brother, trying not to let her fear show. But after what had happened last night, Clary had to admit that she was scared of him. He was close to her – much too close. Swallowing hard, Clary took a few steps away from him. "Don't come any closer towards me. What do you want, Jonathan? After what happened last night, I wouldn't have thought that you would even dare come near me again."

"But you're my sister. Why wouldn't I want to be close to you? And besides, what happened last night was an unfortunate misunderstanding. I just thought that you and I should talk about everything once more... Since we didn't have a chance for a proper chat these past couple of weeks. I would like that quite a lot, Clary." He looked her up and down, smiling dangerously. Clary's heart was pounding in her chest with fear.

But she did not want to be afraid of her brother.

She was a Shadowhunter. And she was capable of taking care of herself. She would fight him off. If he tried to hurt her, she would fight him. Even though Clary knew that Jonathan was much stronger than she was, she would still try to fight him. Clary would not give up that easily – that seemed to be the only thing Jonathan and her had in common lately.

"I don't want to talk to you!" she said through gritted teeth. Her fear was being washed away from anger and fury. She was so mad at Jonathan. She wanted to throw herself at him, wanted to hurt him with her bare hands, wanted to scratch his face until it was a bloody mess...

How could he be this cruel, this cold at heart? How could he willingly try to hurt her?

She had always loved her brother. For a long time, he had been the person Clary trusted the most. But now he had destroyed everything. He had shown her who he really was and Clary wondered if it had all been just an act, if she had ever truly known her brother or if the person she had loved so much didn't actually exist at all.

"You have already said more than enough, Jonathan! You're sick... you're twisted... I don't know what it was that's wrong with you or how I had never been able to realize that, but I won't listen to anything that you have to say. Just leave me alone. You tricked me into coming here instead of asking me to talk to you."

"You would never have agreed. You would never have wanted to talk to me." he said simply.

Clary glared at him, before she replied, "You're right about that."

"So... I didn't have any other choice than to trick you into coming here, did I? But I will not hurt you, Clary. I just want to talk. I want to explain to you what really happened. There is so much you don't know – about me, about our family. About our whole lives. Our lives have been nothing more than a lie, did you know that? The past couple of years... Our father lied to us ever since we were born. He never told us _what _we truly are. After I found out, his behavior towards me made so much more sense."

Frowning, Clary stared at him. "What are you talking about?" Even though she was reluctant to even believe one word that was coming out of his mouth anymore, she still wanted to know what he had found out. Because if there was one thing Clary had learned these past few weeks, it was that her family had kept a lot more secrets from her than she could have ever imagined. And she wanted to know everything – the whole truth. Clary wanted to know what else they had kept hidden from her, and why.

"Father experimented with us, Clary. Even before we had been born. When I was in our mother's womb, he had given her some blood..." Clary looked at him, questioningly. "What do you mean? What blood has he given mom?"

Jonathan was silent for a moment, he only stared at Clary. A cruel smile crossed his lips before he said at last, "Demon Blood."

It took only two words to make Clary's head spinning around, to make her feel dizzy and nauseous. She could not believe what Jonathan had just told her. For a moment, these two words seemed to be echoing through her head. _Demon blood_.

"He did... what?"

Jonathan's smile grew wider, even though Clary could not understand why he would have to laugh about something like this, something this disgusting, this cruel. Their father had poisoned Jonathan's blood. And as she thought about it, another realization hit her. Hit her so hard that she looked up at her brother, gasping with shock and fear.

"But what about me? Did he... did he feed mum with demon blood when she was pregnant with me as well?"

At that, Jonathan's smile vanished almost completely from his face. He looked sad, almost disappointed.

"No, when she was pregnant with you, he didn't give her demon blood. He gave her something else... He fed her some angel blood."

Her eyes widening, Clary stared at her brother, still trying to comprehend what he had just told her. She couldn't even imagine how her father had managed to get demon blood – but angel blood? How had he been able to get his hands on angel blood? He must have found a real angel to do that... Maybe he had even killed that poor creature... Killed it to get its blood...

"Angel blood?"

"Yes. It's a shame that he didn't give you demon blood, sweet sister, because if he had, we'd be completely the same. But it doesn't matter. We're still unique, you and I." Jonathan stepped closer towards her. Clary didn't even flinch away from him because she was too shocked, too frightened of the images in her head.

"There is no one else like us, Clary." Jonathan whispered. He stood right before her, his black eyes locked on hers. "You have more angel blood in you than any other Shadowhunter out there – you could be the _best one _of all of them. You also have some special talents no one else has. Didn't you wonder how you have been able to draw that rune you used to fight me off last night? A rune that never even existed until you've drawn it? You're speaking the Heavenly language, Clary, even without realizing it. You are able to gain Heavenly power, to make this power yours... You could conquer the whole world if you wanted to. _We _could conquer the whole world. You and me.

"I am stronger, too, you know. Much more stronger than anyone else. The demon blood that is cursing through my veins makes me as good as invincible."

He cupped her face in his hands, not even once looking away from her.

"Mum never knew about any of this. He'd kept it hidden from her for all these years. But she had always suspected that there was something different about me. It had always been hard for her to love me – like she loves you. She must have felt, deep down inside, that she cannot love me because I'm part demon. She might have given birth to me, but it is not her blood that runs through my veins. And I felt driven towards you the strongest because you are just as different, just as _special _as I am."

Swallowing hard, Clary felt fear creeping up inside her again. Jonathan was too close, she wanted to push him away from her. . . But still, she needed to know everything.

"How did you even learn about all of this? How did you know what Father has done?"

"My _real mother _told me." Jonathan said, a smile crossing his lips once more. "She came crawling out of Hell to find me. My mother. The demon who has given her blood to our father so he could feed it to me. It's Lilith. She is the mother of all demons. And her blood runs through me veins. She is one of the most strongest and oldest Greater Demons who have ever lived. Right now she is still weak – I gave her as much of my power as I could without dying so she could become stronger. She had been in Hell these past eons, having no control over what happened to this world or others whatsoever. But when my father summoned her to ask her for her blood, she saw my future. . . She told me that I have a bright future ahead of me."

At that, Jonathan chuckled, though Clary had no idea what he was even laughing about. What he was telling her was _disgusting_. He called a Greater Demon his mother.

She still couldn't believe that Jonathan had demon blood.

Still, it explained so much about his behavior. About the way he had acted lately... The way he had wanted to possess her, to decide over her life constantly. Why he had wanted to kill Jace, Alec and Isabelle. Why he didn't even flinch at the thought of killing someone. It explained his cruelty, the way he'd hurt and violated her...

But still. She knew how sensible, sweet and kind he could be. How caring and protective. He'd always been this way with her. Had it all really just been a lie? Had she never known her brother until now when he'd shown her his true self?

"But you can't be entirely evil." Clary whispered. "You _love _me. We've always been together, our whole lives. You would comfort me when I had hurt myself when we were children... You would be there for me. We would laugh together about some stupid joke. You are... _human_. Was it all just an act? Did I think that some version of you that doesn't actually exist was my brother for all these years?"

"No, Clary. It is not like that. You don't understand... I have _always _known that there was something different about me. I have only learned the truth a few weeks ago when Lilith came to find me, though. Before that, I have always felt out of place. I've never fit in with other people. I never even felt like I belonged somewhere.

"But with you, it was different. Right from the start. You were my little sister. With you, I felt things I'd never felt before, I'd never known before. I wanted to protect you. I wanted you to be with me forever. I wanted you to be by my side. I wanted to _make you mine_. You must have sensed that, too. You must feel the same way I do, even though you might not want to admit it just yet. You don't belong to that Herondale boy. You belong with _me_, Clary. With me and no one else. You are the only one in this world I truly love, the only one who is equal to me. I have plans for this world – and I want you to be with me. To be by my side when I fulfill these plans. This world will burn down in flames, Clary. You would burn, too, but I wouldn't want that. I want you to be my queen... I want you to love me."

Clary couldn't do nothing more than stare at him for a long moment. She couldn't believe what her brother had just said, even though there was a part of her that must have known for a while now – she might not have known that demon blood was being pumped through her brother's veins, but she had known that Jonathan desired her. That he _wanted _her.

Still, that thought alone made her sick to her stomach.

"You're sick!" she hissed at him, disgusted. Clary pressed her hands against his chest and pushed Jonathan away from her with all her might. "You're a sick bastard! I... I can't even believe that I have never realized how twisted you truly are. I only ever thought that you loved me as your sister, that there was a strong bond between the two of us. That I mean a lot to you as your sister! But the way you acted these past couple of weeks, how jealous you were of Jace... You even tried to kill him! You disgust me!"

Jonathan looked at her and she saw hurt mirroring in his black eyes. She was the only one he ever showed feelings to – the only one he allowed himself to show his vulnerability to. But right now, Clary didn't care if she'd hurt him. Looking at him alone made her want to throw up.

"Jace is not good enough for you. Don't you realize how special you are? You belong with someone who is just as special as you are! You belong with me!" Furious, he took a few steps closer towards her, grabbing Clary's arm so hard it hurt. "Let – go – of me!" she cried, but he held her arm even firmer now. His grip was so strong that Clary couldn't even pull her arm out of it.

"I will not let you be with him. Do you hear me? I will not let you throw away your life like that! I did everything so he would shut himself away from you... And still he wouldn't leave you alone. I killed his goddamned mother so he would shut himself away from you! But you couldn't stop yourself from trying to comfort his broken, little soul, could you? The way you've thrown yourself at him is disgusting! When we went to the masquerade ball, did you really think that I was foolish enough not to notice what you were trying to do? You asked Isabelle to distract me while you went somewhere with that Herondale idiot. I wondered if I should follow you then, but I didn't because I had not wanted to cause a scene. And part of me had hoped that maybe you wouldn't let yourself be charmed by his good looks. But you disappointed me, Clary. When I saw you coming back... Holding his hand... I knew that you have kissed him. That you shared your first kiss with him."

Clary just stared at him, unbelieving, frightened. She was shocked – but fury was raging inside her as well.

"You have killed Celine Herondale? It was you?"

"Your first kiss should have been with _me_, Clary." Jonathan came closer to her. Clary tried to push him away, be he was too strong. He pushed her against a tree, crashed his body against hers. She felt his breath on her skin and closed her eyes in disgust, pushing against his body hard, but he didn't even flinch away from her an inch.

"I have killed Celine Herondale. Or, well, I haven't killed her myself, to be exact. It was Lilith. She needed more strength. She needed someone to take that strength from. So I chose Celine Herondale. She wasn't someone special, no one important, but she was important to Jace and his father. I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to tear his heart out and break it into little pieces for taking you away from me. Of course, would I have known how much closer you two would become after his mother's death, I probably would have let her live.

"I was the one who spilled champagne over her dress so she had to go to the washing rooms where Lilith was waiting for her. The simplest and easiest trick in the world. It works every time. She took almost all of Celine's life force – she took just as much that Celine had enough strength left to walk back into the room, where she collapsed in her husband's arms and died. I hadn't even planned for Dad to become the main suspect – that happened all on its own. I had no idea that the Inquisitor would think that Dad might have killed Celine Herondale as well as the Consul in an attempt to gain power over the Council. Though her theories weren't that bad, don't you think?

"It was also me who killed Consul Blackthorn. I wanted to cast doubts about how strong the Council really is among Shadowhunters. I wanted them to start mistrusting one another because of thinking that _everyone _could be the killer. I wanted to destroy the Clave from within – just like father had said. Though he would never have thought that I am the one behind all this. I don't care about Shadowhunter politics or the Consul or the Inquisitor... I will destroy all of it. There won't be a Council left after I'm done with destroying – there won't be any Shadowhunters left. At least not any who are not on my side. This world will be crushed to pieces by demons. And I will stand there and watch. I will watch it burn. We will watch it burn."

"You're sick." Clary said quietly, glaring at her brother hatefully. "I will not be on your side. Never. I don't know what is wrong with you... How you can even think that I would want to be with you, how I would want to be part of your twisted plans... You disgust me! I have always thought that... that we understand each other. We're brother and sister – I have always considered you as my best friend. I have loved you. But now I realize that, all the time, you felt... these sick things about me... and... By the Angel... How can you even think that I would want to be with you like this? How can you possibly think that I would... that I would want to love you like I love Jace? You're my brother, for God's sake! Brothers and sisters aren't supposed to be together in such a way!"

"But we are so much more than just brother and sister, Clary. We're one and the same. We might be the exact opposite from one another – but that makes it so much more appealing. So much more exciting. We don't need anyone else."

"What about Mum and Dad?" she asked then. "You have let everyone think that Dad has killed the Consul and Jace's mother! You didn't do anything to stop the Inquisitor from suspecting him!"

"Why would I? WHY WOULD I HAVE DONE ANYTHING TO HELP HIM?" he suddenly cried. Startled, Clary pressed her body more tightly against the tree, trying desperately to push her brother away from her, but he wouldn't let go of her. "He has made me what I am now! He tried to CONTROL me! He didn't think that it would be impossible to control me. How will one control someone as skilled, clever and brave as a Shadowhunter who happens to be part demon anyway? He wanted to control me so he could fulfill his stupid plans of leading the Shadowhunter's world into a brighter, more glorious future. He wanted us to become stronger, to use more violence in order to protect this world – even if it meant hurting mundies. But when he realized that I wasn't to be controlled, he started punishing me for it. Deep down, he must have regretted the choices he'd made. So he tried to make me feel like I'm a piece of filth. Like I'm not worthy of anything. He made me feel like I don't deserve to be loved. By anyone. For a long time, I even believed that. I let him hit me. I let him shout at me. I let him insult me.

"But do you know who changed my way of thinking, Clary?" Jonathan leaned even closer to her now. Clary closed her eyes, trying to back away from him as much as possible – but it wasn't even possible because there was no more space left between them. "You did. Because you loved me. You didn't think that I wasn't worthy of love. You were there for me, you treated my wounds after Father punished me. You took care of me. You loved me despite me being part demon. Of course you didn't know then, but that doesn't matter. You loved me for who I am. You showed me that I can be fine with me just being who I am – and now that I know for sure what I really am, I can embrace it fully. And that's all because of you."

"No." Clary whispered then, still not opening her eyes. "The brother I grew to love so much over the years was someone else than you are right now. He was protective of me, he was caring, he helped me going back to sleep again after having a nightmare. He would play with my dolls with me because I asked him to, even though he hated playing with dolls. He would let me win our training fights even though he is stronger than me. He would make me laugh all the time.

"The brother I loved did not violate me. He did not hurt me. He did not make me suffer. He did not try to kill the boy I love. He did not," At that, Clary opened her eyes, looking at Jonathan with an expression of pure hate and disgust. "want to force me into... into... loving him this way. The brother I loved would never have done that. What you are now – you're a monster. You've lied to me all these years. Just like Dad. You all lied and I hate being a part of this family. I hate being a Morgenstern. And I hate you. I hate you so much."

"But Clary" he whispered softly and brushed his lips against hers, sending an unpleasant shiver through her whole body. She felt like she would have to throw up any minute. "Get – away – from – me!" But he didn't listen, he just said, "All of this is me – it is all a part of me. I still am the brother you loved. And what I am now, it has always been inside of me, you just didn't realize."

"No! You kept it hidden from me! You deceived me! You played the role of the big, caring brother, just like Dad played the role of a loving father when both of you actually just lied! When all you did was building our lives on lies! You are just like him!"

Now Jonathan was angry. "I am not like him! Don't you dare say that! I will never be like him! I am so much better! He's a fool for the things he believes in. He is pathetic! I do not desire to lead Shadowhunters into a greater future. I do not desire to have anything to do with them. I want to destroy them. If they knew about what I really am, they'd destroy me, too. I want this world to burn down. I want this world to become a hellfire. There are so many other worlds we could explore together, Clary. This world doesn't have to mean anything to you."

"But the people in it do. I will not give up Jace and join forces with you. You know what, Jonathan? Even though Dad might have made a lot of mistakes to begin with, even though he was hungry for power and clearly mad... But you are worse than him! He taunted you, he made your blood poison... But maybe you could fight it, if you wanted to!"

"I don't want to fight anything, little sister." he said, smiling dangerously at her now. Jonathan leaned closer to her again. "You will learn in time that I am right. That we belong together. I don't care about anyone else, only you, Clary. It has always been you. Mom and Dad... They can burn in hell for all I care. That Herondale boy – I will kill him personally. But you. You will be with me, whether you want it or not. So you should just choose me instead of trying to keep fighting me or else this will get only more painful for you to bear. I will kill each and everyone you care about. I will punish you for every kiss you shared with Herondale. I will hurt you for every time that he's touched you and that you touched him. You are not his to touch. You. Are. Mine."

Clary looked at him, frightened and furious at the same time. "Never." was everything she said, she spat the word out at him.

But Jonathan didn't get angry. He just grinned. And that was when he kissed her. Clary was in shock when she felt his lips crush against hers, moving fiercely over them, feeling his tongue licking her lower lip before biting it...

She hit her fists against his chest, trying even harder now to push him away from her. Trying to bite him, to scratch him, to kick him or punch him – anything so he would back away from her, but all she seemed to achieve was making him want her even more. He pulled her closer to him as his lips moved away from hers and moved over her collarbone. "Stop it!" Clary hissed and tried to wrestle herself free from him. But his grip was like iron. He didn't let go of her for even a second.

Jonathan shoved her to the ground. Clary tried to get up again, to get away from him, but he was on top of her in only a matter of seconds. "I hate you..." she hissed, scratching and hitting him in the face, kicking at his legs, which only made him groan in pleasure. "You want it, too, Clary. Don't fight me. Or... well, you can, if you want to – it's actually pretty hot."

Clary felt nauseous and tried to push against him even harder. But Jonathan was so much more stronger with her. He pinned her arms to the ground, holding them in tight grips so she couldn't try to scratch or hit him anymore. She felt his lips move down her neck and a shiver went through her body. It felt so wrong... She felt violated and abused and she hated him and it hurt so much and she knew that he would take her, right here, that he would make her his and that there was nothing she could do about it because even if he'd let her win all their fights, the truth was that Jonathan had always been much stronger than Clary.

Jonathan pulled at the hem of her shirt with such force that he almost teared the fabric apart. "I want you, Clary," she heard him whisper in her ear. Clary closed her eyes, trying to get her legs away from under his. "You don't even realize for how long I have wanted you..." His hands moved under the fabric of her cloth, touching her naked skin. Feeling like she had to swallow down acid, Clary still tried to get her legs free of his. His lips touched the skin of her neck again, biting at it, his body pressed much harder against hers...

"You're a bastard." she whispered. "I will never forgive you for this."

Finally, Clary had gotten her legs away from under his. She kicked them against her brother with all her might, so hard that this time he actually cried out in pain instead in pleasure. He let go of her for only the fracture of a moment – enough time for Clary to push him off of her and get back on her feet. She tried to run away into the woods, to get away from him, but Jonathan had recovered himself quickly. He came after her and before she had even reached the edge of the clearing, he locked his arms around her waist and smashed Clary's body against the nearest tree – her head hit it, hard, and for a moment she felt dizzy.

"No more trying to run away now." Jonathan hissed and Clary felt him opening the button of her jeans.

Shivering in fear now, Clary tried to push against him again, but he pressed his body so tightly against hers that she couldn't move at all – and all her moving did was making all this even better for her brother. "You will be mine. You can't disobey me. When I am done with you, you won't even want anyone else anymore. You will be crazy about me."

"You can do to me whatever the hell you want!" Clary cried. "But I will never want you of my own free will!"

Grinning, he leaned closer to her once more. "We will see about that, sweet sister." Before she could say anything else, Jonathan crushed his lips down on hers again, kissing her in such a violate way that it hurt. She knew that there was no way of fighting him... She needed a weapon, something to hurt him with, something that would give her enough time to run away... She needed...

The feeling of his lips on hers made it hard for her to think because she constantly had to fight off the sickness trying to wash over her. He moaned at her lips, his hands tracing down her waist, pulling at her torn shirt once more.

Why didn't she have a weapon on her?

But even if she did, it would not help her much now. Jonathan's grip on her was way too tightly – she would not be able to unleash a weapon anyway.

And in that moment, someone knocked into them with the speed of a comet. Clary was being pushed away from Jonathan. The breath was knocked out of her, still she managed to get to her feet again, watching as someone wrestled Jonathan to the ground with raw strength, holding a blade to his throat.

"You will not lay a hand on my girlfriend. Not ever again, you sick, disgusting bastard. If you touch so much as one hair on her head, I will kill you."

Clary's heart pounded faster inside her chest when she looked at Jace. He looked over at her, too, for a moment, getting only angrier when he saw the state she was in – her torn shirt, the marks Jonathan's tight grips had left on her skin.

"Though, thinking about it," he said as he turned back to Jonathan, who was gritting his teeth at him, snarling furiously, "I will kill you right now."


	22. The Escape

Thank you for reviewing! I decided to put the next chapter online today - not sure when the next one will come. I think it'll be closer towards the weekend again. I can also tell you that I have planned quite a lot on the Sequel already and that I will write it after I have finished writing Over the Love. I'm very, very excited for that already!

**Trapped In Narnia** -Thank you! I hope this one will leave you at the edge on your seat as well!**  
50shadeslover - **Thank you so much!**  
5 - **Yes, he's my hero, too.**  
xxxlauraaxxx - **A bit of this chapter is from Jace's POV, though not all of it.**  
Caitey - **Thank you!**  
Disney4ever - **I'm glad you like it so much!**  
The Worm in the Apple - **You might want to cross your fingers for them doing the dirty stuff in the Sequel ;)**  
espoir1066 - **Here is more xD**  
isob3l - **Yes, Jace came at the right moment, didn't he?**  
Huntress3419 - **Thank you!**  
BeccketAndCastle - **Wow. That's just... wow.**  
TMIFan - **I know what you mean. I like Jonathan, too, he's fascinating and I'm planning a lot regarding him for the Sequel.**  
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**Chapter 22 » The Escape  
**Jonathan hadn't let Jace keeping him on the ground for too long. Now both boys were standing on their two feet, slashing at each other with their blades. And Clary knew, instinctively, that they were fighting to their death. They hated each other. They hated each other so much and they both wanted to see the other one dead.

Clary was scared for Jace. Though he was just as skilled as Jonathan – they were both incredibly strong, fast, and good at using their weapons. And even though one of them would manage to wound the other from time to time, neither of them managed to take a final blow. Clary wondered if Jace and Jonathan were equally strong and skilled. Though she feared that, eventually, Jonathan would be the stronger once since he had demon blood in him which made him an even better Shadowhunter. Jace did not.

She needed to do something.

She needed to help him.

Clary ran over to them, shouting to get Jace's attention, "Throw me one of your blades!" Jace didn't even look at her – he was still concentrated on dodging Jonathan's blows when he pulled an Angel blade from his belt and threw it at Clary. "You know," he said and managed to kick Jonathan in the chest so he flew several feet through the air, "From now on, I will be the one to teach you. First lesson for you to learn, Clary – just never get out of the house unarmed. Always take a weapon with you. We're freaking Shadowhunters for a reason. So, next time – arm yourself. Maybe Izzy should give you advise on how to dress fashionably and concealing weapons inside your clothes at the same time..."

Rolling her eyes, Clary looked at her blade, recognizing it immediately. "_Ithuriel._" she whispered softly and the blade started glowing at once, coming to life in her hands. Then she moved to stand next to Jace as Jonathan was on his feet again already, raging and ready to kill them. Never before had Clary seen her brother like that – so mad and out of control... He wasn't even human anymore. It hurt her. At the same time, thinking about what he'd just tried to do to her, all she wanted was to cause him unbearable pain.

"I don't think that's the right time now for discussing stuff like that."

Jonathan slashed his blade at Jace again, who was able to dodge from it at the last second, grinning brightly. "You need to aim a little better, Jonny, or else you will never hit me successfully." He dodged his next slash again. That was when Clary stepped in front of her brother, slashing her blade at him, making him even more furious.

"Get out of my way, Clary! I don't want to hurt you, but if you try to keep me from _slaughtering _your little boyfriend, I might have to."

"You don't want to hurt me?" With every word she said, Clary slashed at him again with her blade, though he was way too fast for her to actually hit him with it. "You have already hurt me! You wanted to _rape _me! Your own sister you claim to love so much! You are disgusting! You don't even know what love is!"

Jonathan slashed with his blade against hers – the impact of it almost knocked the blade out of her hand, though Clary held on to it as if her life was depending on it. And right now it did feel like her life was depending on that weapon. She wondered if she would be able to kill Jonathan with it – to kill her own brother. But after everything he'd done to her, after all the things she had learned... Clary was sure that she would pierce Jonathan with it if she had the chance.

He had killed Consul Blackthorn and had turned Nephilim against Nephilim by doing so. He'd seeded mistrust among them. He wanted all of them to die. He wanted to extinguish the race of Shadowhunters. He had tried to rape her, his own sister. He was sick and twisted and completely mad. And he had killed Celine.

He had killed Jace's mother.

Only when that thought caught her attention did Clary realize that Jace did not know. He did not know the truth yet. She remembered once again the day of his mother's funeral – remembered how Jace had told her how he wanted to kill the person who had killed his mother. And now, he might even get the chance for revenge.

Clary knew that she would not keep Jace from trying to kill Jonathan.

"Jace..." she said, not taking her eyes away from Jonathan as she spoke, "He and Lilith did it. Jonathan killed your mother. He is her murderer."

For a moment Clary felt like time was frozen. Jace stared at both of them for a second, swallowing hard. Then, when he had comprehended what Clary had just told him, he stormed towards Jonathan once more. He pushed Clary – gently, but still firmly – out of the way and slashed at him with his blade again. Jonathan was caught off guard by Clary's sudden revelation of the truth about the death of Celine Herondale. For a moment he had stopped being cautious, he had let his guard down for just a second and that was enough for Jace to finally take a real blow at him.

Jonathan cried out in pain as Jace's blade pierced through his skin, slashing a wound open on Jonathan's chest. "You bastard!" Jace's voice sounded quiet – but even more dangerous as if he'd shouted. Looking at him with hatred and disgust, he slashed at him once again. Though this time Jonathan was ready for the blow. His blade met Jace's – they pressed harder with all their force, but both of them were too strong to loosen some of their strength, to let the blade hit its respective target.

"Did you know that your mother didn't even put up a fight when she died?" Jonathan whispered softly so only Jace could hear him. "She was caught off guard and everything happened so quickly... She couldn't do anything. Lilith got her and she sucked every bit of life out of her. You know that she begged her not to take everything? To take just as much from her so that she would still be able to recover? She was so desperate that she begged a Greater Demon for her life. She whispered your name and your father's name over and over again." Jonathan laughed, sounding megalomaniac. "But of course Lilith would suck every bit of life out of her. Your mother was quite headstrong, I've gotta give her credit for that. But she was weak. She was pathetic. I bet that you are just as pathetic. That you would beg for your life, too, if I would _really _hurt you, if I were to torture you to death. And that is exactly what I am going to do. Don't think that you have won. Don't think that Clary is yours. She is mine. I will have her. And you will die."

Jace's fury grew even more as he listened to Jonathan. He imagined his mother, begging for her life, whispering his and Stephen's names, fighting so hard but not being able to do anything... She had been all alone when it happened. She had tried to warn his father. She had used the last bit of strength she'd had to get to her father. Celine had already been half-dead when she had collapsed in his arms.

Jonathan Morgenstern had done this to her. He had taken her from Jace and his father. He had destroyed their family – and his father's life.

"You will never have Clary. You will burn in hell before you get your hands on her. I will make sure of that. And you won't be the one to torture me to death – I will torture you to death for killing my mother. You will pay for every crime you've committed. I will protect Clary from you. You will leave her alone, or, I swear by the Angel, I will rip your throat out..."

Grinning, Jonathan took a step back suddenly, releasing the pressure he'd put on his blade. He wasn't even out of breath while Jace was gasping, feeling slightly weaker. "People say that you're the best Shadowhunter of your generation. But they're stupid. You're nothing more than a silly boy with a certain talent for fighting. You won't be able to stop me. _I have demon blood cursing through my veins. _I am the strongest creature to ever walk this earth. And this world will catch on fire – and you will burn with it and I will watch. I will watch as it happens, Clary standing by my side."

A small smile crossed Jace's lips, making him look like a wicked angel that was about to Fall though didn't care about it for a second. An angel that would Fall gladly for it did not believe in the power and greatness of God anymore because it had been through too much horror. An angel that had lost his heart to a human girl – so he would rather Fall out of heaven than to be parted from her. "That is exactly what happens when Clary and I touch each other – we both catch on fire."

Upon hearing these words, Jonathan lost his composure. He stared at Jace, wide-eyed and furious, gritting his teeth. The thought of Clary touching him alone made him go mad with jealousy. He hated the thought of his little sister kissing Jace, touching him, doing all these things with him _he _wanted to do with her... Picturing Jace doing all these things to her _he _was supposed to do to her... Making her groan in pleasure, not in pain...

Jace slashed his blade at him again, with all the might and force he could gain... Jonathan's reaction was too slow since he still was distracted by these pictures forming inside his head. Jace had achieved exactly what he had wanted – tearing his composure down, making him feel insecure and distracting him for even the slightest fraction of a second. It had been enough to struck him with his blade.

Jonathan went down to the ground, moaning in pain and pressed a hand to his chest. A wound that was even bigger than the one Jace had managed to cause him earlier. Jonathan landed on the ground, hard, and Jace stood above him, raising his blade over his head. He was ready to bring it down on him, ready to kill him, to get rid of him once and for all...

He would end him – he would end all of this. He would avenge his mother's death. After everything Jonathan had done, he didn't deserve to live anymore. He had killed his mother, he had tried to violate the one girl Jace loved. From the moment Jace had realized that his mother was dead, that she would not come back to his father and him, he had sworn to himself that he'd kill the person who had done this – who had smashed his family into pieces. And now he knew who it was and he was only seconds away from ending Jonathan and he wanted it... Never before had he wanted to kill someone as badly as he wanted to kill Jonathan...

That was when he heard Clary cry out his name in panic. She seemed completely freaked out.

"Jace!" she cried. "Jace... Oh my God... Look!"

Surprised and confused he turned to Clary, looking in the direction in which she was pointing. When he realized what was happening, his eyes widened in shock. A thick, black cloud of smoke had formed in the sky, clearly from a fire... He could even make out the fire from this distance...

"It's our house!" Clary said, sounding shocked and panicked. With a start, Jace realized that she was right. It must have been the Morgenstern manor that was burning because there was no other house in that direction. "We have to get there immediately!" she said, looking at Jace pleadingly.

Jonathan was already on his feet again. He did not attack Jace again, even though he could have since Jace was more than distracted right now. He was pressing a hand to his bleeding wound, his eyes flickering in the direction of the fire for only a moment. For a second he thought about running back to the house he had grown up in, wanting to find out what had happened... But at the same time, he did not care. He hated his parents and if they were in that house right now, burning to their deaths... He would be glad.

"This is not over yet." he said, looking at Jace and trying not to let it show in how much pain he really was in. That bastard would not manage to distract him again. Next time they would meet each other, Jonathan would not hesitate, he would not let him get under his skin – he would kill him.

With that, he disappeared into the woods. Jace looked after him for a moment, a part of him wanted to follow him, but the other, stronger part of him knew that he could not leave Clary now. And being there for Clary was more important than killing Jonathan.

She had become the most important person in his life. He knew that his mother would want him to be with her now, to go check what had happened at the manor, instead of trying to avenge her death in rage.

"Come on." Jace said and took Clary's hand, who still stared at the flames – they were as high as some of the trees now, spreading towards the heavens. Like fiery hands that tried to reach for the heavens. Jace thought of hellish creatures trying to force open the gates of the Heavens, trying to tear angels out of the sky. He took a deep breath and squeezed it gently. "It's going to be fine, Clary.", he said softly and when she felt his touch, she got pulled back into reality, finally able to move again.

They ran towards the Morgenstern manor. Clary felt her heart pounding inside her chest with fear. She did not know what to expect, what had even happened... This night seemed to be like a bad dream, a nightmare – all she wanted was to wake up from it, finding herself in her own bed in her room, realizing that her brother had never told her that he had demon blood, and that she had more angel blood than Shadowhunters usually had, and that he had never tried to force himself on her, that her father wasn't being accused of murder, and that Jace and her could be together... That everything was fine, just how it was supposed to be...

But she knew that this would not happen. When Clary and Jace arrived at the manor house, she thought that her heart would stop beating altogether. The flames seemed to have devoured the house completely. Clary could see nothing else but flames... Thick, deadly flames, making it impossible for her to get closer to the house without being devoured by them, too...

What had happened in there? Had there been an attack? Had Jonathan set their home on fire? Maybe he had done it before he had come to find her in the woods.

And her mother... No, that could not be. She could not possibly have been still in there when the house had caught on fire. Surely she had been on her way to the Hall of Accords, to be with her father while he had to endure being questioned by the Mortal Sword... Her father who was being accused for committing a crime her brother was responsible for. Her father who had willingly tainted Jonathan's blood, who had experimented on both of his children before they had been even born because he had lusted for power and strength...

"Clary." Jace said, pointing at a figure lying on the ground just a few feet away from them, unmoving... "It's Luke!" Clary cried and she ran towards him, falling on her knees beside him. "Luke? Can you hear me? Luke!" She stroked the thick, black hair gently out of his face and suck in a deep breath of fear when she saw a bloody, deep gush on his forehead. "Oh my God." Clary whispered as she took her Stele out of her pocket. She had put the blade Jace had given her in her belt, feeling like she might need it again soon.

Clary drew an _Iratze _on Luke's wound and with a sigh of relief she saw that it was already beginning to heal. That was when she heard someone say, "What happened here? We just got out of the house and saw the fire. And... what happened to... _him_...?"

She looked up to find Alec and Isabelle staring at them, wide-eyed and shocked. It was Jace, though, who replied, "We don't know yet what happened. How the house had been set on fire – or _who _had set it on fire. Clary and I had some, uh, difficulties with her brother. I will tell you what happened exactly later – for now, you just need to know that Jonathan is a _freaking psycho_. Like, really, really creepy." Jace took a deep breath, clenching his fists tightly, trying to push his feelings down under the surface. "He is the one who killed Consul Blackthorn. And my mother. He killed my mother."

Swallowing hard, Alec looked at Jace. "He is the murderer...? By the Angel, that is... sick... I'm sorry, Jace..." he began, though Isabelle cut him off. "We need to find out if someone is still in there!"

Clary looked back at the burning manor house, trying to fight off the panic and fear wanting to wash over her. _No. It can't be. No one is still in there. Please. Don't let it be the case. Don't let my mother be still in there._

That was when Lucian gasped, sitting up immediately and moaning in pain. "Luke!" Clary cried, grabbing his arm. "What happened? Why is the house burning? We were... in the woods... And I saw the fire... What the hell happened?"

Lucian, who was still disoriented and looking around himself, trying to remember what had happened, locked his eyes on Clary eventually. For a moment she wondered if he had not heard her – if he was still in too much pain, if what might have happened had shocked him so much that he did not find the courage to speak...

Panic was building up inside her again.

"What happened? Tell me! Please!"

At that, Luke seemed to be breaking the surface of his reverie finally. He stared at Clary, shock and fear widening his brown eyes – Luke had been around them the past few weeks and she had always seen him look at her in such an affectionate, caring way. Not once before had she seen him like this. Pained and panicked and furious and sad... So, so sad.

"Jocelyn." he whispered, staring at the burning house. The upper part of it had already crumbled in, the whole house was falling apart. "We wanted to find you. We wanted to run away... Valentine... he gave Jonathan demon blood when he was not even born... _He killed Jocelyn's parents_... It was all just a lie. All the life he'd build for you, it was just a lie. He'd followed me... He wanted to stop Jocelyn from getting away, he'd threatened us... I remember... We fought... I tried to protect Jocelyn from him. I could not believe what was happening – I was fighting my Parabatai, the person I had once trusted the most. But he was not that person anymore. Maybe he even fooled me all my life.

"I don't remember everything that happened then..." Lucian put his head in his hands, taking deep breaths before continuing, "There was an explosion... I don't know what caused it. A fire was growing with so much speed. I remember crying out for Jocelyn, I remember looking for her... I heard her cry out for me, too. I heard Valentine... He tried to sooth her, but she would not listen to him. There was so much fire, so much fire... And then I somehow got thrown out of the house. It was like some invisible force had grabbed me and thrown me out. That was when I blacked out. The last thing I remember is a searing, burning pain. A pain I have never felt before. I thought that I would have to die now... And it was..." Lucian swallowed hard and pulled at the collar of his already torn shirt, making visible a wound that did not look like a burning. "This is," he whispered, "where my Parabatai rune had been."

Open-mouthed, shocked and afraid, Clary stared at Luke's wound, still not comprehending what he'd told her. Her whole body was shaking. "What...?"

"Clary." Luke looked at her now, a sadness in his eyes so deep that it cut right through her skin, through her bones, leaving her fallen apart on the ground. "Valentine and your mother must have still been in there when the house burned down. My Parabatai rune... _Vanished_... Your mother... She is dead."

Clary stared at him and without realizing, she shook her head. Getting to her feet again, she slowly moved towards the house. "No. No. This can't be true. You can't be right. No... _No! No! No! _Maybe... maybe Father died... but, no, not Mum! She can't be dead! You can't be right! This can't be happening! If you were able to somehow get out of the house, then my mum must have, too!"

She ran towards the house, not caring about the fire or the or the smoke stinging her eyes, burning in her throat. "Mum!" she cried, looking around her, though she could hardly see anything through this smoke and the darkness. This could not be happening. Her mother could not be dead. Clary did not want to, _could_ not believe it. She must be here somewhere...

"Mum!" she cried again. So much smoke filled her lungs that she was starting to cough, though Clary tried to ignore it. She heard Jace crying out for her – but she was ignoring him, too. She thought if there might be some way to get inside the house, to look for her mother in there... She ran around the house, looking for her mother in the darkness. But there was nothing to be found.

Coughing again, Clary got to her knees, tears burning in her eyes. This couldn't be true. Her mother couldn't just be dead. "No..." she was whispering over and over again, tears falling down her cheeks, leaving traces on her cheeks which were coated in grime because she was too close to the fire. Clary felt the heat burning through her clothes, her skin... Though she could not make herself get up and go back to the others. Her whole body seemed to have gone numb and sobs were shaking it, making it impossible for her to even try to get back to her feet again.

"Clary." She felt Jace's arms closing around her, pulling her back up on her feet. Without even looking at him, Clary buried her face in his shirt, smelling nothing but smoke and ashes. Shivers were still rocking her body and she felt Jace's arms locking around her small, delicate body even tighter, pulling her in his arms, stroking her red hair, trying to calm her down. "I know that this isn't easy for you. I know how much it hurts... It hurts like hell." Of course he knew what he was talking about – Jace had lost his own mother only a few weeks ago. He knew exactly how Clary felt right now. How she did not want to believe it, how believing it hurt even more... How the pain pierced through her whole body. Making her feel like she could never be better again...

Taking a deep breath, Jace pulled away from her, looking Clary right in the eyes. He cupped her face in his hands, her green eyes locked with his luminous, golden ones. Clary could see the flames mirroring in them. "But we need to get away from here. You need to be strong right now. I know that it's hard and if... if the situation wouldn't be as dangerous as it is right now, I would never demand of you to try to be strong. But you can't fall apart right now, Clary. Do you understand me? I need you. I need you so, so badly and you can't fall apart... I won't let you fall apart. I'm here for you. I will not leave you. We will get through this together, okay?" He stroked her cheeks with his thumbs, leaning in closer to her and kissing her on the forehead. "We can't stay here. Jonathan will find us here too easily. We have to go away..."

Clary only nodded and tried to compose herself. She would not let the pain take her down. She would not fall into that black abyss that had opened up in front of her, threatening to pull her into the darkness, swallowing her. But Jace was right. She had to be strong now. And he needed her. Clary needed him. It would be okay as long as they were together.

Jace took Clary's hand and together they went back to the others. Lucian was still on his knees, staring at the burning house. There would probably be not much left of the house after the fire had died down. There would be nothing left... Nothing to be found than ruins and bones...

Isabelle and Alec stood, looking around themselves. "We need to make a plan. It surprises me that no one other seemed to have noticed the fire yet. I am sure that they will come looking what is going on here soon. The Council will arrive soon... Your father probably, too, Jace." Alec said. "We need to plan what we're going to do now." Jace looked to them from Clary, worried that she might break down again if he would let go of her hand. But Clary had steadied herself. Taking a deep breath, she let go of Jace's hand, turning her back to the burning house. She could not look at it anymore. Imagining her mother being trapped in there, burning alive... That was too much for her to bear.

"We have to get away from here." Jace said again, to all of them this time though. "Jonathan will find us in Idris. I think that it would be better to escape. To get someplace where he will not look for us. So we have time to figure out what to do now, how to stop him... How to take him down. Because we know now that Jonathan's the real enemy. He wants to burn down the whole world – us included. He wants to destroy Shadowhunters."

"But where do you think we should go?" Isabelle asked him, frowning. "And shouldn't we stay here and tell your father and the Inquisitor what happened?"

"I don't think that they will know what to do. Besides, it's us – Clary and me – Jonathan is after the most at the moment. I would not want my father to be dragged into this after all he'd been through. I'm not even sure if they would believe us. My grandmother was so keen on the idea that Valentine is the murderer, that he's the one behind all of this... I'm not sure if she would want to believe that it's actually a teenager pulling all these strings behind her back. Maybe she will think now that Valentine... that he burned down the house himself, that he killed himself... and his wife along with him to escape justice."

"Maybe that is exactly what he has done." Lucian whispered, getting to his feet now. "Or maybe setting the house on fire had been Jonathan's doing somehow. Whatever might have happened, I think that Jace is right. You need to get away from here, to get out of Jonathan's reach for at least a while. Because – let's not lie to ourselves – after everything he's managed to do, he will find you eventually. I will stay here, though. I will talk to the Council, try to make them see reason. Because if we do not stand together in times like these, Jonathan will succeed in making us drift apart in the end, trusting no one anymore, despite we're all Shadowhunters."

At that, Jace nodded, before Isabelle asked again, "But where do we go? To London?"

"No. Jonathan knows that my family leads the Institute there. We would be too easily to find in London." He thought about it for a moment, until he looked up to them, his eyes shining.

"I know _exactly _where we will go. Why haven't I thought about that right away?

We will go to New York."

Isabelle frowned at him. "To the Institute there? The Carstairs family is in charge of it, aren't they? But Jonathan could find us there pretty easily, too."

"No. We will not go to the Institute there." Now a smile crossed Jace's lips. "We will go to a friend of mine – or, rather, of my family – that lives in New York. He's quite powerful. In fact, he is one of the most powerful people in New York."

Now all three of them, Clary, Isabelle and Alec, were looking at him questioningly.

"We will go to the High Warlock of Brooklyn himself.

We will go to Magnus Bane."

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**So... Now I sit back and wait anxiously for your reactions on this one.**


	23. Welcome to the New Age

Wow! So many reviews - again! You guys don't even know how much all of you mean to me. I wanted to answer a few of the questions that had caught my eye while reading your reviews.

**About Malec** - there'll definitely be a bit of Malec, yes.

**About Clary being almost raped** - you need to remember that they're all going through a lot this night. So much is happening, so fast. Clary herself can't even comprehend what has happened yet. And Jace wouldn't talk about what Jonathan tried to do to her in front of Alec, Izzy and Luke without knowing if it's okay for Clary. They will talk about this further in one of the coming chapters, though.

**About Clary's parents** - I'll only point out that Lucian's Parabatai rune had burned and faded and usually that's a sign that one's Parabatai is dead. I won't say more about that now, though.

We're at Chapter 23 already. Wow! Hope you guys enjoy it!****

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**Chapter 23 » Welcome to the New Age**

_I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones  
Enough to make my systems blow  
Welcome to the new age, to the age  
I'm radioactive, I'm radioactive  
_Imagine Dragons – Radioactive

"But... _how _exactly are we going to get to New York?" Isabelle asked. Alec and Clary seemed to be still stunned by Jace's suggestion – fleeing to New York, seeking shelter with a warlock. That night clearly was one of the craziest nights they had ever experienced.

"Well..." At that, Jace seemed to be lost in thought for a moment. "That is a fairly good question." He looked from Isabelle, to Alec, Clary and Luke, before asking, "Does anyone of you know, by any chance, where we will have to travel to find the nearest airport and, uh, when the next flight to New York is?"

"Flying will take too long." Luke said, taking a deep breath. He seemed to have composed himself completely now, trying to be strong, though the shock and sadness was still too visible in his expression. "Besides, you would already need a Portal to get to another country where there is an airport. There is a Portal in the Council, of course, but we can't use that without being seen."

Swallowing hard, Alec asked, "So... the short version of this is, we actually don't have any transportation to get out of Idris fast?"

"We could try to find a warlock that is currently in Idris. Ragnor Fell lives here. Maybe he is in Idris right now – though he is not here all the time, maybe even for several years. But if we were to find a warlock, they could create a Portal for you to go through to New York."

Clary stared at nothingness for a long moment, feeling herself getting lost in her thoughts. A shape was starting to form before her inner eye. It felt exactly like when she was drawing... When a sudden urge to draw got hold of her, an image forming inside her mind, demanded to be drawn at once... But what was forming inside her mind now was not a picture – it was a rune. Clary was certain that she had never seen this rune before, that it was not in the Gray Book. But she knew what this rune would do. She knew instinctively that this rune was the one they needed right now. The rune to help them to get away from here.

"I think that I can create a Portal." Clary said at last, making everyone else stare at her in confusion and disbelief.

"What are you talking about, Clary?" Jace asked her, frowning and obviously worried about her.

"I just..." Clary took a deep breath, struggling to describe what she was thinking, what she was feeling – what made her so sure that she would be able to create a Portal, something no Shadowhunter was able to do. Even though rumor said that it was an innovative Shadowhunter who had created the Portal, it had taken magic as well to make it work.

"I _know _that I can create a Portal. Remember that rune I'd drawn on my hand that... well... pushed Jonathan against that tree? I feel just like that again. I have this sudden urge to draw a rune. It has formed right before my eyes and I know that it is going to be the rune we need the most right now – that this rune will be able to help us. Just let me try..."

"Clary..." Jace stood before her now, locking her eyes with his. "I know that you've been through quite a lot tonight – more than one person alone could even take. But I really need you to _not _lose it right now."

"Ugh! For Heaven's sake, Jace, I am not losing it! I'm serious! I'll just use my Stele and try it out myself." Clary said, taking her Stele out of her pocket and looking around herself, looking for something where she could draw on.

She ran over to the shed that had always belonged to their now almost burned down house – his father had kept stuff in there, even weapons. When Clary stood before the shed, she took a deep breath. If this wouldn't work, the other might think that she had gone crazy... But Clary knew that it would work. She felt it deep inside of her – like a voice whispering inside her mind, telling her what to do. And that everything would be alright.

She set the tip of her Stele on the wooden wall of the shed and started drawing. Her hand was steady as she drew and it was like the picture of the rune that had been in her mind only seconds ago was flowing through her arm now, right through her fingertips and into the Stele, taking form on the wood she was drawing on... It came out the way exactly as Clary had imagined it. When she was done, she looked at it for a moment, thinking about how perfect it looked. Knowing that it was the right rune – that this rune would somehow be able to help them.

For a few seconds, nothing happened, but then the rune started to glow. Its light was so bright that Clary had to look away for a moment to protect her eyes from getting blinded. When she looked again, however, the rune had vanished – where it had been only moments before, was now a Portal. It illuminated the darkness around them, glowing in a soft, light blue.

She did it. She had made a Portal all by herself. She had not even need to build some device or use a warlock's magic – she had created this Portal. She alone.

Jace, Isabelle, Alec, and Luke appeared by her side, staring at the Portal wide-eyed.

"By the Angel." Alec muttered disbelievingly. "How did you do that? I have _never _heard of anyone being able to do that. What you've just done... It's impossible."

"I don't know." Clary whispered, staring at the Portal as well. "I just wanted to create a Portal, something to take us to where we have to go and... well... this came out."

Jace looked at Clary, sighing and touching his lips to her forehead for the fracture of a moment before saying, "I will _never _say that you're losing it again."

"But is this Portal safe to use?" Isabelle asked then. "I mean... traveling through a Portal is very tricky – one needs to train a great deal for being able to do that. And we have no idea if this one is even safe, if we will actually get where we want to go or... well... if we might get somewhere else. Besides, you need to _envision _where you want to go, right? We have not all been to New York. So how does that work?"

"I guess we just have to risk it." Jace said, looking at the Portal with wariness in his eyes – but there was something else in his eyes, too. Excitement, Clary realized. He _wanted _to use that Portal, he was even excited about it. Once again Clary thought about what her mother had once told her – and only thinking about Jocelyn hurt. How she had said that Jace was reckless... And Clary knew that. But right now being reckless was just the thing she needed.

"We don't have any other choice anyway." he continued. "It's either staying here or getting away. And since we all think that we should get away, we'll have to go through that Portal. I will go first..." He looked at Clary. "Shall we go together?" Jace asked her, holding out his hand to her. She looked at him for a moment, and in his eyes she saw how much he trusted her. He didn't even think that the Portal would not work – he trusted her completely.

"Yes." she said softly and took his hand. That was when Luke stepped in front of her, though. "Clary... Wait a second, please. What if something happens? I would never forgive myself if... if something were to happen to you and I didn't hold you back..." "It's going to be fine, Luke. Trust me. We will get to New York. I will send you a message when we're at Magnus'."

Taking a deep breath, he only nodded, though Clary sensed that he was still worried. "I know that your... that Jocelyn would have wanted me to take care of you. And that is what I want, too. We will meet again soon, Clary. I will talk to the Clave and after that, I'll try to get to New York as soon as I can. I even have some friends there who could help us. I think that we should build our own army against Jonathan – because I doubt that he is working all on his own. Whatever happens now, we should expect something dangerous coming our way. Something no one of us even expects. Who knows what he is going to do next... We should be ready to fight back if Jonathan decides to strike at us."

Luke looked at Clary again, a sad smile crossing his lips. "I am so sorry, Clary. So sorry... I will never forgive myself for not protecting Jocelyn good enough... For not saving her... I...-" His voice broke and he looked away from her, staring at the ground, tears filling in his brown eyes. Clary wondered if Luke might have felt more for her than just friendship. Or if it was just because he felt so guilty about what had happened to her... That she had _died _in these flames and he had not been able to do anything about it... The thought alone, her mother having died, pierced right through Clary's heart.

Maybe Luke had felt much more closer to her than he wanted to admit – not even to himself. Clary had watched them spending a lot of time together these past few weeks. Even though Luke had claimed that he'd come back to Idris to help the Clave, to see his Parabatai again, it had been her mother he had spend most of his time with. He had always been with her.

"Luke. I always wondered... Were you and my mum close? When you two were younger, I mean."

Surprised, he looked up at her, though a small smile crossed his lips. "Your father never knew, because I did not tell him. I... I know how he'd felt about Jocelyn and since we were best friends, Parabatai, I'd felt like I would betray him. Jocelyn and I have not been close friends exactly. But there were things we could talk about... She loved to read a lot, like I did. So we would often meet in the library after school, talking about books or anything that crossed our minds. Still, she had her friends, I had Valentine. At the time she had not been interested in Valentine and I... I had forbidden myself to feel anything else for Jocelyn Fairchild than sympathy because she was not mine to admire. I would never have stabbed my Parabatai in the back like that."

Clary only nodded, wondering how her mother could never have noticed that two boys – Valentine and Luke – had held an affection for her. But on the other hand, Clary had never realized how sick and twisted Jonathan's feelings for her were. Maybe one just could not see things like that when one did not expect them, when one did not feel the same way.

"So... like I said, I will be in New York as soon as I can. I will be there for you, Clary. I promise. And I know your mother would be proud of you. No – she is proud of you. She had always been. These past few weeks, she told me a lot about you, how much she loves you and what a wonderful daughter you are. You will grow up to be an astonishing woman, I'm certain of that." Luke leaned in closer to her, kissing her on the forehead. It was that kind of gentle, fatherly caress Clary had not gotten from her own father in years.

"Thank you." she whispered, before Luke stepped away from them. "Good luck." he said, smiling lightly at her.

Clary looked at Jace again, a slight grin crossing his lips. "Ready?"

"I'm not sure, to be entirely honest."

"You've created that thing. You should be a little more confident, you know."

"I know." Clary said, taking a deep breath. And even though Clary had been quite confident in what she had achieved after creating the Portal, she now was frightened as well – what if Isabelle was right? What if they would not got to New York through that Portal, but to somewhere else?

There was no turning back now, though. They had to leave Idris. And going through the Portal would be the fastest way to get out of here. She remembered the feeling she had had after creating it, how sure she had felt that this Portal would take them exactly where it was meant to take them. It would work. Clary tried to hold on to that feeling when she squeezed Jace's hand, taking another breath before nodding.

"I am ready."

At that, Jace could not help himself but to grin. "Down through the rabbit hole it is, then."

He turned to Alec and Isabelle, still grinning mischievously. "See you two in Central Park." With that, he yanked Clary behind him and before she could even take another breath, they crashed right through it. It felt like being in icy-cold water, for a moment Clary even thought that she was going to drown, that maybe she had made a terrible mistake by creating that Portal... All around her seemed to be water, nothing more than that, she could not breathe, her eyes were closed shut... All she felt was Jace's hand. Clary held on to it desperately, fearing that she might lose him if she let go of his hand.

_New York. Please bring us to New York. Central Park... Get us to Central Park in New York. Please._

That was when they broke through the surface. Clary felt cold wind hitting her face and she sucked in great heaps of air. Only now did she realize that she had not imagined being in water – she really was in water. Shivering, Clary looked around her. "What the hell...?"

Jace had broken through the surface beside her. "Are we in the Hudson river?" he asked, confused.

"No, idiot, we're in Central Park!" Isabelle and Alec had broken through the surface, too, swimming beside them now. "This is The Lake in Central Park. If we were in the Hudson, I think we'd have to swim a little faster and better than we are now. Why couldn't your Portal just get us to somewhere where it would not have been wet, Clary?"

"I don't know." she said. "But we made it! We're in Central Park! We're in New York!"

"Uhm – guys, there's a duck coming. Please, just let's get out of this lake." Jace said and Clary looked at him for a moment, frowning. Was he scared of ducks? When he noticed her watching, he just shrugged. "I've never liked ducks. They're giving me the creeps. Don't know why, they just do. My father feels the same about ducks. We hate ducks."

"But they are adorable. How can you not like ducks? Look at how cute these baby ducks are over there..."

"Let's get out of this lake, shall we?" Jace cut her off and then the four of them got out of the water. Clary felt her clothes pressing against her skin. It wasn't quite comfortable, but that did not matter right now. She looked around her, open-mouthed and fascinated. Clary had never been to anywhere else in her entire life – she had never been someplace other than Idris, her home. And now she was in New York City. In the distance, Clary could see skyscrapers reaching out to the heavens, she could hear the busy traffic noise of New York... All around her, though, Central Park stretched out in all its beauty.

"Look at that." Alec said, pulling her out of of her thoughts. Jace, Clary and Isabelle looked at where he was pointing – it was a large oak tree and carved into the trunk of that tree was a rune. "Oh," Jace said, understanding lightening up his golden eyes. "This must be a Shadowhunter place. It's invisible to mundies. That must be why no one had seen us crashing in the lake."

"What are we going to do now?" Clary asked him then. "Do you know where Magnus lives?"

"As a matter of fact, I do. We need to get to Brooklyn, though. Like I said, he's the High Warlock of Brooklyn – so he lives there, not in Manhattan."

"So how do we get there? Use the subway?"

Jace grinned and nodded. "When you grow up in London, you're more than accustomed to use the tube, like we Brits call it. Or underground. Whatever, but yeah, we'll use the subway. I guess that's the fastest way to get to Brooklyn and I don't think that your useful Portal rune will take us any farther than here."

"I don't know. I had thought about Central Park because I had no idea on what else of New York to focus. I was scared that it might not work after all."

"But it did work. That was amazing, Clary."

"Yes. It was." Isabelle admitted, smiling at her. "Your power to create new runes is kinda scary – but it was freaking awesome at the same time. Still, next time – please no lakes if you can manage that."

"Why," Jace said and put an arm around Clary's shoulders as they started walking out of the park. "I imagine that you did that on purpose because you wanted to see me without my clothes on. You managed to get me all soaked, so I would have to take my clothes off."

Even though Clary did not feel like it, she could not help but grin at that. Jace noticed, of course, and when he locked his eyes with hers, it felt like that they were the only people in the world for a moment, like what had happened tonight had not happened at all, and that not even Isabelle and Alec were around them right now. It felt like everything was how it was supposed to be – they were together, they were happy. All the horrible things that had happened tonight were not real...

"It is good to see you smile. I know how hard it is for you to smile right now. I know how much it hurts. And I wish so much that I could have spared you from feeling this way." he whispered and pressed his lips to her head.

His words pulled Clary back into reality. But it was real. It had happened. Everything. She had just lived through the worst night of her life and even now Clary could not comprehend completely what had happened.

In only one night, she had lost everything.

_No_, she told herself, looking up at Jace who was watching her, so much love and affection mirroring in his beautiful eyes. _I have not lost everything yet._

"Maybe we should have at least told your father that we are running away. I mean... Don't you think that he'll worry about you?" Clary asked him, only realizing now that Stephen Herondale had no idea what had happened, that he had no idea where his son had gone... And Clary felt guilty, because she felt like she had taken his son away from Stephen. Her brother had taken his wife from him. And now Clary had run away together with his son. The only one he'd still have left...

Jace seemed to know what she was thinking. "Even if he wouldn't want me to leave Idris, I still would have gone anyway. There simply was not enough time to talk to him and besides, Luke will explain everything to him. He will understand. You don't need to worry about my father, Clary. He'll manage. You're the one that needs me right now, not him. You're the one I want to be with. I would never have let you go alone, no matter where you would have gone. I belong to you. And I will go with you, wherever our paths might take us. We'll get through this together, just like we have promised to ourselves right from the start. And my father knows that. He knows what I feel for you and I think that he expected me to go where you go anyway – because he would have done the same if he'd be in that position, if it was my mother.

"So it's okay. I will get in touch with my dad as soon as things have calmed down a little."

Clary looked up at him, smiling a little, even though she still felt like she had taken Jace away from his father. She hoped that he was right – that Stephen would really understand. And that he would not hate her eventually for dragging Jace along with her, deeper down on this path of dangers and whatever else might still be ahead of them.

"And what about you?" Clary asked, looking to Alec and Isabelle. "I mean... I understand why Jace came. Why did you come, though? And what about your parents?"

Isabelle looked at Clary, wide-eyed. "Why wouldn't we come with you? Of course we came with you! When we heard what happened – well, you still need to tell us the whole story about what happened with Jonathan and what's up with your rune-creating talents – it was certain that we would not let you go alone. We're your friends, remember?" Isabelle shook her head, as if she could not believe how Clary could ever have questioned why they would come along with them to New York.

Clary couldn't help but smile at that – she didn't know how, but Isabelle's words had touched her. "Well, I know that we're friends. But up until now, I'd thought that you're more Jace's friend than mine."

Rolling her eyes, Isabelle replied, "That just shows again how slow-minded you are, Clary. We're friends. Of course we are. Even though we would be even better friends if you would let me choose your wardrobe for you..."

"No way." Jace said, grinning and pulling Clary a little closer to him. "I don't want any other guys looking at her when she walks around in short skirts and tight tops. Besides, she looks beautiful just the way she is. No need to change anything." Jace winked at her, before turning around to face Isabelle and Alec. "Why, I would have been slightly disappointed with you if you had decided not to come. We are not twelve years old anymore, aren't we? We can do whatever the hell we want. This is our fight – our war to fight. And the three of us..." Jace didn't finish the sentence, but Alec and Isabelle knew what he meant anyway.

The three of them belonged together, just like they had so many years ago. Isabelle and Alec were the closest things to a sister and a brother Jace had ever had. And now that they had found each other again, they would not leave again. Not one of them would. They were together in this. All four of them.

They were a team now.

"You'll always have my back, Jace." Alec, who had been quiet until now, said to him, and from the look in his deep blue eyes it was more than clear that he meant it.

"I know. There's gotta be someone who keeps me from suicidal missions, someone who at least tries to talk a little sense into me."

Grinning, Alec nodded. "And I'm much more reasonable than you are when it comes to those things."

"Alec always protected Jace and me, even when we were twelve and tried to go Shadowhunting in the nastiest places imaginable in London." Isabelle said, laughing. "He would watch Jace's back and try to keep him from getting himself killed."

"That is like the hardest job in the world." Alec said, his grin becoming a little brighter.

"But that's what Parabatai are for, aren't they? They protect each other. They're there for each other. They mean more to each other than blood."

"But we are not Parabatai." Alec said softly.

"We will be." Jace replied, looking at him for a moment. They had never addressed this topic so openly – even though both of them had thought about becoming Parabatai, because it felt like the right thing to do, the _only_ choice that would even make sense since Jace Herondale and Alec Lightwood were bound to become Parabatai, it had even been this way when they had both been twelve-year old boys, they still had never talked about it. Until now.

Jace didn't know why he had never asked Alec. Even after they had seen each other again after over five years, nothing had changed between them. It had even been better, they had felt closer than ever. Still, neither one of them had brought up the courage to ask the other one if they wanted to become their Parabatai.

Being afraid of something wasn't usually a feeling Jace had gotten used to. But lately, he had found himself being afraid more often than he liked it. Most of all, though, he was afraid of losing Clary.

"Well, we'll just have to hurry up a little, won't we? Once one of us turns eighteen, we won't be able to become Parabatai anymore." Alec said then, pulling Jace out of his thoughts.

The four of them had already reached the closest subway station and Isabelle took a look at the timetable, while Jace said to Alec, "Then I'd say that the next change we'll get, we will have the Parabatai ceremony. So we will officially be Parabatai."

Alec said nothing, he just looked at Jace, smiling. And he felt so good, all of this felt so right – he knew that he was right where he belonged. With his best friend, his Parabatai. He was with friends, with people he cared about. And they would go through this together. They would make it through this together. That was just the way things were supposed to be. Even after all that had happened tonight, Jace, Alec, Clary, and Isabelle felt hopeful in that moment, just because they were together.

"The next train will be here in only 5 minutes." Isabelle said then, turning around to face the other three. "It's been quite a long time since Alec and I have last used the subway."

Clary was already looking around herself, trying to take everything in at once. She had only ever heard about things like that – big cities, skyscrapers, the subway, cars. Instead of learning how to drive, she'd learned how to ride a horse. Clary had never been in a city such as New York. And even though she still felt devastated about tonight's events, she couldn't help but marvel at the thought of being here.

Finally, she had gotten out of Idris, like she had always dreamed.

"I'm kinda excited to drive in the subway. I have never been on the subway."

"Believe me," Jace said, grinning at her, "It's not as exciting as you may think now. It's just..." He shrugged. "Well, driving on the subway."

"Don't you think that we should at least contact John Carstairs?" Alec asked Jace then. "Maybe it would be better if they know that we're here. If they knew about Jonathan and what happened so they are ready... So they can prepare themselves if Jonathan decides to look for us at the Institute."

Jace thought about that for a moment before nodding. "You might be right. That would be a good idea – maybe we should pay them a visit tomorrow."

When they were on the train, Jace watched Clary staring out of the window. Even though they were driving underground, even though there was nothing exciting to see, she just couldn't stop staring out of the window, taking all of what she was seeing in. He once again remembered that she had not grown up in the mundane world, like he had. All of this – underground stations, the noise of traffic, big cities, so many people in only one place – was new to her. She had grown up in Idris, she'd never been to anywhere else.

Jace could understand why New York excited her so much. And for the moment, he was glad that there was at least something that could distract Clary after all she'd been through tonight.

In New York, the sun had only began to fade. Night was falling slowly over the city, while in Idris they had been up all night, fighting, watching Clary's house burn down... Jace wondered if the Clave had already found out about Valentine's and Jocelyn's deaths, if Luke was talking to the Inquisitor and his father at this very moment.

But it didn't matter right now what was happening in Idris. They needed to get to Magnus.

Jace didn't know why, but he had a feeling that the warlock might be able to help them. He took a deep breath as they got on the train. He just hoped that his intuition would not let him down now.


	24. Even if Saving you Sends Me to Heaven

Thank you so much for your reviews, guys! I have been sick these past couple of days but today I am finally able to update again. I hope that you'll like this chapter as much as the other ones. Keep reviewing, please, I love to read what you think about the chapters! This chapter marks the introduction of the High Warlock of Brooklyn . . .

**xBabySnapsx** - Thank you!**  
50shadeslover - **I will start on the Sequel right after I have finished writing Over The Love. So I'll publish it when I have finished some chapters but right now I'm not yet finished on this one.**  
- **Thank you!**  
knowmusicwiz - **Thanks!**  
isob3l - **Thank you so much!**  
Haruhi23 - **Thank you!**  
Mogsyrocks - **She'll have. Thank you!**  
sizzyherondale - **You certainly are right about Team Good xD About Simon - MAYBE ;-)**  
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**Chapter 24 » Even if Saving you Sends Me to Heaven**

_I will never let you fall  
I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven  
_The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus – Guardian Angel

After they had gotten to Brooklyn, it took Jace almost over an hour to find the house the warlock was living in. "He had told my parents where he lives – in case there might ever be an emergency." he told Clary, Isabelle, and Alec. "But since I have never actually been to his apartment, I was not quite sure where it is in the first place. Apart from the fact that he lives in Brooklyn."

Eventually, they found the house in which Magnus' apartment must be in. "There. Look." Jace said and pointed at one of the bells where a name was written on. _Bane_. "He lives here." Taking a deep breath, Jace rang the bell. It took several moments until they heard a voice speaking to them out of the intercom.

"Who is it?"

"This is Jace Herondale." he said, sounding more nervous than he had expected. After all, Magnus Bane was an old friend of the family – he had even met him only recently when Magnus had created the Portal in London through which his parents and he had traveled to Idris. Still, Jace had never met Magnus Bane without his parents. "I'm here with some friends of mine. I'm sorry if we're bothering you, but we need help."

Magnus Bane did not say anything to that. He only buzzed the door open. Looking at the others, Jace only pointed to the stairs, which they climbed up. When they reached Magnus' door, the warlock was already standing at the threshold, waiting for them.

"Jace Herondale." he said, a small smile crossing his lips. "To which occurrence do I owe the pleasure of having you here in Brooklyn?"

His eyes wandered to Clary, Isabelle and Alec, which were standing behind Jace, and he eyed each of them for a moment. Magnus was tall, even taller than Jace, with black, spiky hair and lots of glitter in it. He wore colorful clothing – with even more glitter on it. His nails were polished and his eyes... They were yellow and looked like the eyes of a cat. It was his warlock's mark, Clary realized.

Even though he looked like a fashionable young man, his eyes shining with curiosity, there was something about him that made it clear from the very first moment that he was strong and powerful. It would not be wise to pick a fight with Magnus Bane.

"Not a happy one, I'm afraid." Jace told him. "Can we come in?"

"Come on in, Shadowhunters." Magnus said before stepping away from the door. When Clary entered his apartment, she could not help but to suck in a breath in surprise. Never before had she seen a place like this – it looked amazing. Magnus had a grand apartment, they were standing right in his living room which bordered at the kitchen. The walls were painted in a light blue, a great flat-screen TV was hanging on one of the walls, a leather couch standing several feet away from it. Everything in here looked expensive and tastefully decorated.

"I have to admit that I didn't think to see one of you Herondales again so soon," Magnus said before seating himself on a comfy looking chair at his mahogany table, gesturing for them to sit as well. "And usually it were your parents who would ask for my aid. What made you decide to seek my help, Jace Herondale? And who are your friends?"

Jace took a deep breath, before saying, "That's Clary Morgenstern." When she heard him call her _Clary Morgenstern_, Clary couldn't help but flinch just a little. She hadn't expected a reaction like this to hearing her own name, the name she'd carried for over 16 years, up until this night even proudly, herself but now she felt dread creeping up inside of her. Did she still want to be a Morgenstern? Did she want to carry that name – the name her brother and her father carried?

Her brother, who had violated her. Who had killed two people. Who had demon blood inside of him.

Her father, who had killed her mother's parents. Who had experimented on his own children. Who had lied to them. Who had maybe even killed her mother. Clary had not yet spoken these thoughts aloud, but she had them – the others had possibly been thinking about that possibility as well. What if her father had also been the one to kill her mother? What if he had somehow caused the fire?

What if he had been desperate enough to kill himself and her mother along with him? What if he had been so desperate not to lose her, that he had just killed her?

The thought alone made her whole body shake. Jace noticed, of course. He took her hand in his, squeezing it gently. Magnus watched them and for a moment, Clary thought that she saw something strange flickering inside his cat-like eyes – she did not know what it was and before she could further examine him, Magnus had turned his gaze away from them.

"It's not Morgenstern anymore." Clary said at last, clearing her throat. "It's Fairchild. Clary Fairchild."

Magnus regarded her again, thoughtfully. "Fairchild." he repeated, as if tasting the name on his tongue. He'd said that name as if he had heard it often – as if there were memories to that name. "It might be easy to change a name – but is it just as easy to change one's personality, one's past?"

He nodded towards Isabelle and Alec then, looking a little bored. "So, and you two are...?"

"Alec. And Isabelle. Lightwood." Alec said and at that, Magnus looked up at them in surprise, interested all of a sudden. "Did you say Lightwood?"

"Uhm." Alec seemed a little uneasy right now because Magnus was staring at him – his yellow eyes seemed to pierce right through him. It took him all his willpower to keep his eyes on him, though all Alec wanted to do right now was look away from the warlock. "Yes. I said Lightwood. We're... uh... Lightwoods."

He surveyed him for a moment, frowning. Clary wondered what he was thinking about. Magnus seemed like he wanted to say something more, though he thought better of it and turned his attention back to Jace. "Why are you here?"

Jace took a deep breath, before saying, "I don't know if you've already heard about it, but there had been killings in Idris. My mother... my mother was killed."

Magnus looked up to him, surprised and a little shocked, as well. "I didn't know that. I'm sorry to hear that – Celine was such a warm-hearted and wonderful woman. I can't believe that she was killed." He seemed like he was genuinely sad about hearing of Celine's death. Clary wondered what exactly it was that connected Magnus Bane to the Herondales.

Jace continued telling him what had happened these past few weeks. He told him about how his family had moved to Idris because of Consul Blackthorn's death, about the masquerade and his mother's killing there... He told him about how Clary's father had been framed for killing them, when eventually the guilty one had turned out to be Jonathan. Jace told him about the experiments Valentine had done on his children when they had not even been born yet – he told him about Jonathan's demon blood, about Clary having more angel blood inside of her than any other Shadowhunter. He told him about their fight only hours ago and how he'd fled when they had noticed that the Fairchild manor had caught on fire.

He told him that Jocelyn and Valentine had died in those flames.

Clary's eyes rested on the table the whole time. She knew that Alec and Isabelle were listening just as intently to Jace than Magnus was since they hadn't known what had happened in the woods with Jonathan in detail. Clary had told them about her angel blood on the ride to Brooklyn, though she had not found the strength to recount everything that had happened tonight.

"I think that it could have been my father who had set the house on fire." she said at last, four pairs of eyes turning to her suddenly. "Maybe he has somehow set the house on fire. Maybe he had wanted to get killed in the flames... Maybe he wanted my mother to die along with him because he didn't want her to leave him." Swallowing hard, Clary shook her head. "I don't know. All I know is that they are dead and in the end... It doesn't even matter who had set the house on fire. My mum is dead. She will never come back."

"Of course it matters, Clary." Jace said gently, taking her hand in his again. She looked up to him, fighting hard against the tears that were stinging her eyes. "Knowing who is responsible for this... Knowing who is the one who'd took her from you makes a great difference. Of course knowing doesn't bring her back, but... still. If you don't find out who set the house on fire, who killed her, you might never find peace."

Clary knew what Jace was talking about, of course. After all, he had just found out tonight who had killed his mother. He hated Jonathan even more now. Not only because he had tried to force himself on Clary and to kill Jace, but also because he was the one responsible for his mother's death. She wondered if Luke would manage to convince the Clave so they would believe that Jonathan was the murderer. That he was not just the one responsible for Consul Blackthorn's and Celine Herondale's deaths – that he also planned on destroying the Shadowhunter's world, that he wanted it to burn down.

There had not even been enough time for them to tell Luke everything that had happened, though he knew enough. She wondered when he would be able to come to New York. Somehow, Clary was looking forward to seeing Luke again.

Right now, it seemed like it did not even matter if the Council believed them or not. They simply needed to convince enough people of how dangerous her brother really was. They needed to prepare for fighting against him and whatever dangers he might have planned to throw in their way...

Clary could still not believe all of this. Her own brother was her enemy now. He wanted to destroy all of them, to set this world on fire. He was evil and his heart was full of darkness. He wanted to set Shadowhunters against each other. In the end, he would kill them all and there would be no one left stopping demons from overwhelming this world and all the others they have yet to destroy... How could she never have noticed who her brother really was?

How could she ever have loved him?

What was even wrong with her? For over sixteen years, Clary had loved a monster. She had called that monster her brother, her best friend. She felt ashamed of herself now. "I should have sensed that something was utterly, horribly wrong about Jonathan. I mean... It isn't that he was just my brother – I cared _so much _about him and never, not even once, did I suspect that there might be something off about him. Now I'm wondering what this is saying about me. Whether he really was that good at keeping his... his evil, demonic part of him hidden or if I had been blind.

"If maybe I had simply chosen not to _want _to see Jonathan for who he really was. It seems so sick and twisted... Thinking about how close we used to be, how much he'd meant to me. And now all I feel for him is hate and disgust. When I remember our childhood, these moments we'd spent together that mattered most to me, all I can think is that it had been a lie. My entire life. Just a lie."

"It's not your fault, Clary." Magnus said softly. Clary looked at him, surprised. She didn't even know the warlock and yet hearing him say these words made her somehow feel better. "You couldn't have known what Jonathan really is. And maybe he is even capable of these things he has shown to you – maybe some part of him is exactly the brother he was for you all these years. But sometimes one is not able to keep their darkness inside of them forever. Sometimes this darkness weighs more than the goodness of people. Sometimes it overcomes them."

At his words, Jace couldn't help but clench his fist, taking a deep breath. "He killed my mother." he said quietly, though the force of his words was much more noticeable this way – Clary's head turned in his direction immediately when she'd heard Jace's voice. Swallowing hard, she just looked at him, not knowing what to even say. She knew that he was right. She knew that Jace had _every _right to hate her brother – hating him even more than Clary hated him, because he had not just tried to hurt her, it was also his fault that Celine Herondale had died.

He might not have killed her himself, but Jonathan had _wanted _her dead. He had done it to hurt Jace, to break him.

And hearing the bitterness in Jace's voice, Clary felt how much he still was in shock. How great that part of him was that still could not believe that his mother was dead, that she would never be coming back to him. He barely even talked about her and sometimes Clary thought that it was because he was still in denial, because he simply did not _want _to think about his mother's death. And now that he had found out who his mother's murderer was, it had thrown him back into reality.

Seeing Jace this way, feeling his pain, hearing it in every syllable he was speaking, piercing right through her heart... It hurt even more. There was not only Clary's own pain – her pain over having lost her mother only hours ago, and her father as well, even though Clary was not sure how she even felt about Valentine after all the things she'd learned about him tonight, her brother being a psychopath who had wanted to rape her...

Her life was a mess – a tangled mess full of lies and untruths she had only begun to unravel. Jace seemed to be the only steady, constant thing in her life. He was her rock, holding her close to him, not letting go of her so she wouldn't have to be afraid of falling, even though Clary felt like she could not go on anymore, like she was about to fall into that black abyss that had opened up right in front of her any minute... But he held her, and he didn't let go – he would never let go of her.

They had each other.

They made each other stronger.

And yet they couldn't take away their pain from each other.

"He has killed my mother and I cannot believe that there is even one single flicker of goodness in him. He is a monster. He tried to _kill _me and he nearly succeeded in killing Alec. He killed the Consul and wrote a message on a wall in the Hall of Accords in the Consul's _blood_. He tried to violate Clary – he hurt her. He is a monster. He has no heart. Maybe he thinks that what he is feeling is love... Maybe he thinks that he cares about Clary. But the truth is, all he wants is to possess her. That isn't _love_. He is tainted, his blood is poison. What he is... It should not even be meant to exist. I will find him. And I will make him pay for what he'd done. I will not wait until he's managed to set the whole world on fire – I will find him and I will kill him."

Jace looked at Clary for a moment, taking a deep breath. "I know that he's your brother. And I know that you have spend years seeing him as someone different. But he has destroyed my family. He's smashed it into pieces. And I will not let him smash _us _into pieces as well. I will not let him take you away from me. He will never hurt you again. This I swear on the Angel."

For a long moment, everyone around the table was quiet. Everyone was staring at Jace, but he was looking at Clary only. She looked at him, too, before a small but sad smile crossed her lips. "I would not want to lose you, too, you know. If you try to take down Jonathan... And the thought of him hurting you... Killing you, even... It's unbearable." Her voice was nothing more than a whisper. Clary was aware that three people were watching them, that Magnus, Isabelle, and Alec could hear every word they were saying. But it didn't matter. She didn't care.

"You will not lose me." he said softly. "Because I'm the best Shadowhunter of my generation and no one will manage to kill me."

At that, Clary couldn't help but smile, even though she still felt like crying her eyes out rather than smiling. Though she supposed that this was one of the things she loved most about Jace – and there were quite a few things she loved about him. The way he always managed to make her smile, even in times like these. In times when she felt the most desperate, the most devastated, the most sad. She had never felt like this before. And that was exactly why she was glad that she had Jace, that he was with her.

She needed him more than anything or anyone else right now.

"Of course you are – sorry, how could I have forgotten?"

A small grin flashed across Jace's face, before he turned back to Magnus, looking serious once more. "So, will you help us? Will you give us shelter?"

"Is this looking like a homestead for homeless Shadowhunters? If it is, I yet have to notice the sign on my door saying, _Come on in, children of the Angel, and make yourself at home. Better than any Institute. Hot chocolate and a cookie on your pillows for free_." Sighing, Magnus leaned back into his chair. "Of course I will. Your father would never forgive me if I refused to give you and your friends shelter. Although I suspect that Stephen doesn't even know. But yes, you can stay here. And I will try to help you. Though I don't necessarily let you stay here because I was friends with some of your ancestors, Jace."

Magnus looked over at Alec for a moment, winking at him. Startled, Alec blushed and looked away from Magnus immediately, seemingly not knowing what was even happening to him. Clary couldn't help but grin at his reaction. "I only do this because of that dark-haired, blue-eyed Lightwood. The hot one, as I shall refer to him from now on."

"Uhm..." Alec stammered, though he didn't say anything at all and he fought very hard not to meet any of their gazes – he wasn't used to being referred to as _the hot one _and Clary felt like he rather did not want this to ever happen again.

"Although" Magnus said then, getting out of his chair. "I try to stay out of Shadowhunter's business as much as I can except for when one needs my assistance in exchange for money, but what you've told me... About Jonathan Morgenstern wanting to burn down the world... I highly doubt that this will concern _only _Nephilim."

He looked at each of them for a moment, though Alec still tried to avoid looking directly at the warlock. "This way," he said, pointing toward a floor leading to several rooms, "you will find your rooms. There is one for each of you, though I think that you two" at that, he pointed his head toward Clary and Jace, grinning slightly, "want to share one. It's time to go to bed, children. This must have been an extremely exhausting night for all of you. Go rest a little, sleep if you can. We will work on a plan in the morning."

For a moment, all of them seemed to hesitate a little, before Isabelle was the first one to get up. "He is probably right. Besides, I'm tired as hell. We can save the world in the morning." She went to one of the rooms and when she opened the door, Isabelle sucked in a breath. "By the Angel. This is amazing! I have _never _seen a room like that... This is like a dream coming true! That vanity table!" Isabelle stepped inside her room and closed the door behind her.

"The rooms are magically designed to adapt to the likings of the person who lives inside them. Pretty impressing, huh? It really is no wonder why everyone calls me _Magnus the Magnificent_. It's because I'm capable of doing magnificent things."

Clary, Jace, and Alec went into their respective rooms as well, though Clary and Jace shared one, just as Magnus had thought. When they had closed the door behind them, Magnus stared thoughtfully into nothingness for the fracture of a moment, whispering to himself, "And another Herondale has found its true love at last. It happens every time. Always."

"What were you saying?"

Surprised – and also a little startled – he looked up to find Alec, standing before the only slightly open door of his room, staring at him questioningly. He hadn't even noticed that the Lightwood had not yet gone into his room. Magnus recovered quite fast from his shock, though, and only smiled. "Nothing. I hope you'll be sleeping well, Alexander."

Alec frowned at him for calling him Alexander, though he decided to not comment on that. "I hope that I won't be having nightmares."

"For that, I can give you no guarantee, I'm afraid." Magnus said, smiling sympathetically.

He did not say what he was really thinking in that moment, though. That maybe they would all be _living _a nightmare soon enough instead of only dreaming them.

* * *

Clary kicked off her boots and fell down on the bed immediately, taking a deep breath. She wasn't tired exactly, she just felt utterly exhausted. She was not even sure if she would be able to sleep tonight after everything that she had learned, that she had seen these past few hours... Every time Clary closed her eyes, she saw her home burning. She saw it again and again and in her imagination, she could hear her mother screaming... Screaming for her to help her... But Clary wasn't able to reach her, wasn't able to save her mother from burning alive...

She felt Jace climbing into the bed behind her, closing his arms around her, pulling her tightly towards him. He seemed to know exactly what she needed right now. She needed to feel him close to her, to be held in his arms.

"I still... I still can't believe what happened. It's like I'm trapped inside some nightmare. I don't even want to believe it. I can't. And yet, deep inside of me I know that it's true and that I can't run away from the truth, no matter how hard I might try."

"I know. I know how you're feeling right now. I feel the same. But I remember what you've told me only weeks ago, and how I still struggle to believe it, even though I _know _it's true. That there will be days when the pain isn't that strong anymore, when you will wake up in the morning feeling better... Feeling that the pain has faded a little. I always feel this way when I'm with you. When we are together, I feel like I can somehow handle the pain, the bitterness inside of me."

He didn't tell her that, when he was alone, when he had too much time to think, not only the pain came rushing back inside of him, but the bitterness as well. That sometimes he felt like smashing things against the wall, like wanting to break things... Just like his heart, his family had been smashed to pieces.

But Clary had been the one to mend it. He didn't even know how she'd managed it or how it was impossible that one's heart could be broken and yet mended at the same time. How one could feel sadness and happiness at once. But it was possible. He felt all of this when he was with her. And he would not let her down now. He would not let Clary fall into that dark hole that had threatened to swallow him, it still did.

Without Clary, he would have been truly lost. He knew that the prospect of taking revenge for his mother's death – and now he could do it, now he could kill his mother's murderer – would neither bring her back to him, nor would it make him happy. And still he wanted to kill Jonathan for taking her away from him. But that would never make him feel the way Clary was able to make him feel. And Jace realized that this must be because violence couldn't make one's heart happy. Love, on the other hand, could. And what Clary was making him feel was the strongest, the most precious and beautiful love he'd ever felt. He'd never imagined he would feel at all.

"I feel alone." she whispered then, fighting hard against her tears, losing that fight only a moment later. Tears were streaming down her cheeks and she tried to push back a sob. "My brother is a psychopath. He is not even the person I thought he was. I don't know him at all. He's a killer, he's hateful and what he did... It's disgusting. And it's evil – nothing more than that. He is evil. And I'm his sister. I am the sister of a monster. And I never knew, I never even suspected that anything could be wrong with him at all. And my father... My father wasn't the person I thought he was either. He _created _that monster. All these years, the last sixteen years of my life, had been nothing more than a lie. My whole family – a lie. My father had build all our lives on lies and dark secrets. He murdered my grandparents which I've never gotten to know. I don't know if I hate my father because I've loved him, I've respected the man I thought he was. At the same time, knowing who he really is and what he has done... It terrifies me. He poisoned Jonathan's blood. He probably murdered an Angel so I could have some of its blood. Everything that happened and what is still to happen – it's all his fault because he started this. There is so much darkness flowing through the veins of Morgensterns. So many secrets have unraveled right before my eyes. And I am scared... I'm scared that there might be darkness inside of me, too."

"There is no darkness inside of you, Clary." Jace said softly and brushed his lips to the top of her head. "You are the complete opposite of your brother. You are kind, Clary, you have a good heart... The purest heart I've ever seen. You are wonderful. You fight for what you believe in. You are strong, caring – extremely stubborn at times, too, but I find that quite endearing about you." At that, Clary couldn't help but smile, even though she still felt like she was falling apart inside. "You are beautiful. You are special. And, most of all, you are not turning into a bad person just because of what your father has done – or just because your brother is a bad person. You are yourself. And you can be proud of who you are. I am. I am proud to have you by my side. That I can call you mine... Because I will never let go of you, Clary. I will never leave you.

"And, most of all, you are _not _alone." At that, Clary turned around so she could face him. Their eyes locked and he put his arms around her waist, pulling her even closer to him. Still tears she couldn't fight back were streaming down her cheeks. "You have me. You will always have me. I will be your family now. We will get through this together... Just like we have these past few weeks. We've made it together. And it's hard. It hurts. I know that it hurts like hell. But we still have each other. You still have me. And you won't lose me. I promise you."

"But you can't promise that, Jace. You can't promise that I will never lose you." she said, tears shining in her green eyes. Clary remembered how her mother had said something quite similar only hours ago – how Jocelyn had held Clary in her arms, how she'd told her that she would never leave her. It had happened only hours ago, that last moment Clary had had with her mother... She would never have thought that she would never see her again, never talk to her again. When she'd left the house to go meet Jace – as she had thought she would at the time – she had told her mom that she was going out, that they'd see each other later.

But now Clary would never see her again.

That last moment... Her mother telling her that she would never leave her... It did not feel like it had only happened hours ago. It felt like it had happened in someone else's life, not in Clary's. It felt like it had happened lifetimes ago.

"It's true, though." Jace said and brushed his lips against hers. For a moment, Clary closed her eyes, allowing herself to enjoy the feeling of his touch. "I would rather die than having to live without you. We belong together now, Clary. You and me. No one can keep me away from you, because being without you... It would feel as if someone would tear my heart out of my chest. That pain would be much worse than dying. I will not leave you. You won't lose me. I will be with you, no matter what happens."

Clary looked at him again, snuggling closer to him. He stroked her hair, before leaning his forehead against hers, not only once looking away from her green eyes. Clary felt like drowning in his golden ones – she wished that she would never have to look away, that they could stay like this forever. That she could stay inside Jace's arms for the rest of her life, for she only felt safe and protected when he was holding her.

"I love you." he said hoarsely. His voice was barely more than a whisper, and yet Clary could understand each one of his words perfectly. Every time Jace told her that he loved her, her heart skipped a beat. Or two or three. She didn't think that she would ever get used to the way he told her that he loved her. Or to the way he touched and kissed her... She would always react to him like that – her heart pounding rapidly, butterflies flying inside her stomach, feeling as if her skin was on fire, as if there was nothing around them anymore because he was the only thing that mattered.

"And I will love you until I die. And if there's a life after that, I'll love you then."

For a moment that felt like an eternity, they looked at each other. Clary stared at him in wonder, moved and touched by his words. But it was not just what he had said – it was the way he'd said it, genuine and so certain of his feelings for her. And Clary knew that it was the truth. She knew that she felt the same about him, of course she did. There could never be another one for her. She loved Jace, and only him. He was her heart. Her life.

Though she wasn't able to put her feelings into words as well as he could. She often struggled to find the right words whereas he sounded like he was writing poetry.

"I love you, too. More than anything else in this world." she whispered against his lips, which were so close to hers now. Jace closed his eyes and when their lips touched, he kissed her. And it felt like he was kissing her for an eternity – and yet it still was not long enough. When she leaned her head against his chest, he felt sobs rocking through her delicate body. He held her close as Clary cried in his arms.

* * *

Hours later, Jace still was not able to find sleep. Clary had fallen asleep after he had held her in his arms for hours, kissed her, stroked her hair, whispering reassuringly against her ear. Now, as he stood at the window, he was watching Clary as she laid on the bed, clutching the sheets close to her.

He was glad that she was able to find some rest, but Jace felt restless. When he closed his eyes, he saw images he rather did not want to see. He saw his mother lying in his father's arms, dead... He saw Jonathan forcing himself on Clary... Jonathan, whose fault it was that his mother had died. Jonathan, who wanted to destroy this world – their home. Who wanted it to be overrun by demons.

Jonathan, who was a sick, twisted bastard. Who'd hurt Alec. Who'd tried to kill him.

Just now, when he'd held Clary in his arms, Jace had not been able to keep himself from staring at the marks his tight grips had left on Clary's skin. He had violated her. He had hurt her – both physically and mentally. He wanted to possess her, his own sister. Jace would make him pay for everything he had done. He would make him pay for hurting Clary. He would make sure that Jonathan would not get her hands on Clary ever again.

He would kill him for taking his mother's life.

And if it was the last thing he'll ever do... if he were to go to Hell, to burn in its pits forever... Jace would drag Jonathan alongside him into Hell.


	25. PanDEMONium

Hey guys!  
Sorry it took me two weeks to update this time, but I had quite a lot to do for school and next week I'll do an internship, so writing has been going quite slow. I'll still write, though, it might just take me a longer to update than it had before. So I hope you haven't lost interest in this story because you had to wait longer now.

After all, there's still so much to happen. The Showdown is coming closer!

I hope you'll enjoy this chapter and please leave a review. It would mean so much to me!

* * *

**Chapter 25 » PanDEMONium  
**Clary, Jace, and the Lightwood siblings had been living with the High Warlock of Brooklyn for three days now. And not that much had happened in these three days. They'd heard word from Lucian – just like all of them had expected, the Inquisitor was reluctant to believe that Jonathan was the one behind all of this. After Valentine's death, she was certain that he had been the murderer. She thought that he had killed himself, along with his wife, to escape justice.

Stephen Herondale, though, believed them. Lucian had written that he would try anything to convince his mother to prepare for war – to try to find Jonathan Morgenstern. The one they should really be afraid of. The one who wanted to destroy not only Shadowhunters, but their whole world.

In his letter he'd told her that their manor house had burned down completely. There was not much left except for ruins and ashes. They had been able to retrieve some bones – that was all that was left of her parents. Of her mother. Clary had broken down crying when she'd read that, even though she had known it. Even though she had known that she would probably not be able to be in Idris to bury her mother.

Lucian had also written that he would be coming to New York in the next few days. He was friends with the family of Carstairs, who were running the Institute in the city, and he'd mentioned some other _friends _he had in New York who might help them forming alliances against Jonathan. He couldn't say when he would arrive, though, so Clary had no other choice but to wait for Lucian. She was looking forward to see him again. After she had lost her entire family, Clary felt like he was the only part of her family left. Even though he was not really family.

Though now the only one she counted as family was her mother, she was the only one she was grieving about, after learning what her father had done and Jonathan... thinking about him hurt too much. She still thought about the brother she had grown up with, the brother she had loved. And then there were the fresher memories of him that scared her, that made her angry. The brother with demon blood inside him. The brother who had done so much to hurt her, to destroy her life.

The brother Clary hated.

Jace had suggested that they would go to a club tonight – not only to distract themselves, but also to go Shadowhunting. Maybe they could even find something out about Jonathan... If he was working together with demons, and since he was working together with Lilith, there was no doubt about that, maybe they could torture some information out of a demon if they happened to capture one.

Magnus had told them about a club which was visited by both quite a lot of Downworlders and demons alike. And mundanes who had no idea with whom they might be dancing, of course. It was called _Pandemonium_.

"I'm not sure if you'll really be able to find a demon who happens to know something about Jonathan's plans or his whereabouts." he said as he was watching them preparing themselves. "But I can only support your choice to go out a little. You lot sitting around the apartment all day, moping, wasn't that thrilling, you know. It would be good for all of you to do something useful."

Jace ignored him as he finished marking Clary. Without even having to ask they had marked each other with runes – Magnus thought how they seemed to know what the other one wanted, what the other one needed without having to say it out loud. They acted like one person. When Clary had finished marking Jace, she had handed him the Stele without even looking at him, knowing that he would do the same for her now.

They seemed to understand each other without words. It wasn't just visible in the way they had just marked each other now. It was clear in the way they often looked at each other, like they were expressing so many things while just looking at one another.

"I suppose you have never been to a club, haven't you?" Jace asked her and Clary only nodded. "Never. I mean, I know there are some in Alicante... But I never got the chance to go to one." _Jonathan never allowed me to go to a club. _That was the truth, though Clary didn't want to say that – she didn't want to say her brother's name out loud.

Jace nodded, understanding, before Isabelle said, "The clubs in Alicante are nothing like the ones you find in big cities like New York. I imagine that this will get quite exciting."

They were all dressed in gear and had armed themselves. "So..." Jace said, turning back to Magnus. "We'll be back in a few hours."

"Take care of yourselves." He looked at Alec for a moment. "I don't want to see you having lost several parts of your bodies when you get back. Especially the ones that might be useful for the future..." At that, Alec's cheeks flushed in a darker shade of red and he looked away from Magnus. No one commented on that, though.

Alec had never admitted openly to being gay – even though he himself knew that he was, as well as his sister and Jace (but he had never talked to Jace about it), he had never been able to truly accept it... To feel comfortable in his own skin. He always tried to simply not think about it. Magnus, however, seemed to sense exactly what Alec was feeling. It did not make things easier that Alec had caught himself watching Magnus thoughtfully way too often these past few days.

And Magnus seemed to have developed a certain liking for him as well. How he should react to that, though, Alec had no idea. When Magnus said things like what he'd just said, he wished that the floor would open up and swallow him.

But of course things like that never happened when one wished for them.

* * *

Getting inside _Pandemonium _was easy – since they had glamoured themselves, they didn't even need to get past the doormen. As they walked around the club, Clary couldn't help but look around herself, looking in every direction, trying to take everything in at once. People were dancing, their bodies pressed against each other, most of them were dressed in black. Loud, electronic music was blasting through the club, making people jump in excitement.

Clary wanted to feel that, too. She had the urge to walk on the dance floor, moving to the rhythm of the music, letting herself be caught up in it, feeling the euphoria everyone here seemed to feel... She wanted to forget, to simply listen to the music and dance until she could not stand anymore because she was too exhausted...

"Clary!" she heard Jace's voice against her ear, pulling her out of the reverie. He had to shout so she could her him over the loud music. "We're here to hunt for demons, not to go clubbing!" Even though he tried to sound strict, he couldn't help but grin. Clary looked up to him, grinning, too. These past few days, Jace had barely seen Clary smiling. So every time she showed him one of her beautiful smiles, it felt like his heart was bursting inside of him.

"But... that club... It's amazing! I would love to dance. Just one song. We can watch that place from the dance floor, too – Izzy and Alec can take watch from another corner of the club. We haven't found any demons yet anyway. Please..."

Sighing, Jace regarded her thoughtfully for a moment, before nodding. "Fine. Okay. We'll dance. But only one song – when it has ended, we'll go find Izzy and Alec again." Clary beamed at him and without saying another word, she took his hand and pulled him after her onto the dance floor. They bumped into quite a few people but both of them didn't care – the dance floor was packed, so no one noticed anyway that two people who happened to be invisible had bumped into them.

Jace pulled Clary closer to him until their bodies were pressed against each other. She looked her arms around the back of his neck, touching his soft skin there. Smiling at her, they started dancing, though it was more like moving their bodies to the music instead of real dancing since the dance floor was too crowded to move properly. But just being this close to him, feeling the music bursting through her veins, her bones, feeling Jace's body pressed against hers, moving together as if they were one person...

It was enough for Clary.

"You know," he said and brushed her earlobe with his lips, sending a shiver down Clary's spine. "one day I will show you how one really dances."

"So you know how to dance, huh?"

"Of course I know how to dance." Grinning at her, Jace moved his lips closer to hers, brushing them teasingly instead of kissing her. One of Clary's hands grabbed at his blond, silky locks, holding his head closer to her so he wouldn't be able to pull away again. It felt like everything around her was shaking... She felt his heartbeat hammering against her chest... He was so close and yet not close enough.

"I would love for you to teach me someday." she whispered and then they kissed. It was a fierce, passionate kiss – their lips crashed against each other. They were kissing as if they had never kissed before, as if their lives were depending on that kiss, as if kissing each other was like breathing... And in some way, it even was – for Clary, it was much more important than breathing. She brushed her tongue, almost cautiously, over his bottom lip and heard Jace moan in pleasure against her lips.

They didn't move to the rhythm of the music anymore. Clary and Jace stood frozen on the spot, her arms still locked around the back of his neck, his arms locked tightly around her waist, crushing her body even closer against his. His hands slid over her hips and he wished so desperately that she wouldn't wear gear. That they weren't here to look for demons... Jace wished that they could find a much more quieter corner now. He would crush Clary against the wall, she would lock her legs around his waist and he would slid his hands under her shirt, touching her skin with his feverish hands, kissing the soft skin of her neck...

But he could not think about making out now. They were here to get a job done. They had let themselves got carried away in the moment for much too long now.

"We should look for Alec and Isabelle now, Clary." Jace said. He'd needed all of his willpower to force himself to pull away from her a little, to grab her wrists and pull her arms, gently, away from around the back of his neck. "We need to find a demon. You know why we are here. I promise that we will go out together soon after everything has quiet down a little bit... When we're alone. When you can wear something other than your gear – not that I don't think you're looking stunningly attractive in it. It's just that gear is quite unpractical for making out."

Smiling at him, Clary nodded before saying, "So what do you think I should wear that is more practical for making out?"

"A dress, maybe. Or a skirt? I don't really care since you look lovely in everything you wear. And as long as it's easy to take off." Jace took Clary's hand as they went from the dance floor, looking for Isabelle and Alec. When Clary accidentally bumped into a boy dancing awkwardly, she almost knocked him down to the ground. Startled, she looked up as the boy said, "What the hell?" and even though she knew that he would not be able to hear her, to even see her, she stammered, "I'm sorry." For a moment it seemed like the boy was staring at her. Frowning, Clary let Jace drag her along with him. The boy had looked at her... She had seen him looking at her... But that could not be, mundanes couldn't see her when she was glamoured... She must have imagined things. And he surely wasn't a demon. He had looked completely ordinary – even a little out of place in this club in his jeans, sneakers and a shirt which had read _Made in Brooklyn_.

They made their way over to Alec and Isabelle. "We have found one while you were busy making out on the dance floor." Isabelle said while rolling her eyes exasperatedly at them and nodded towards a blue-haired boy who was flirting with a girl. "We have watched him for quite some time now and we were just waiting for the right moment to attack..."

"Which would be now." Jace said, pointing towards the blue-haired demon again who was now getting out of the back entrance of the _Pandemonium_, holding the girl's hand. Without hesitating, all four of them moved towards the back entrance, following them. They did not realize that the boy Clary had just bumped into had watched them. That he had noticed how no one else seemed to be able to notice them, to even see them – except for him. When that girl had bumped into him, several people had turned his head in his direction when he'd cried out, looking confused. No one had paid her and that blond guy any attention, though.

And without really thinking about it, he went to the back entrance, following them out into the darkness.

* * *

"You know, I think it would be better to hit on some demon girl instead of a mundie – she is way out of your league, don't you think?" Jace pulled out his Seraph Blade, pointing it at the demon. Infuriated, the demon turned around, gritting his teeth at them. The girl beside him turned around as well, looking at him. "What is wrong...?"

He didn't pay any attention to her anymore, he was just staring at the four Shadowhunters in front of him. "What do you want from me, Nephilim? I haven't done anything wrong!"

"Well, you're a demon." Jace said, moving closer towards him. "And it's our job to clean this world from scum like you. Also, you were planning on killing this girl. See, we've got even two reasons for killing you now!" Moving so fast that Clary had almost thought that he was invisible to her eyes now, too, he slashed his blade at the demon, sending it flying backwards against a wall.

The girl screamed – not understanding why the guy she had just gone out with was thrown against a wall by invisible forces. When she woke up tomorrow, she would clearly think that she had been way too drunk last night. She took off, back inside the club. That was only good, though, since now she was safe from the demon.

Even though the demon tried to fight them off, it was easy for Alec, Isabelle and Clary to overpower him. Jace stood before him, pressing his blade against his throat. "Tell me," he said threateningly, "Do you know anything about the plans and whereabouts of Jonathan Morgenstern? Have you been in any kind of contact with him? Do you know where he is?"

The blue-haired demon stared at him, confused and flabbergasted. "I have no idea what or who you are talking about."

"Don't lie to me. If you know anything about him you'd better tell us!"

"Even _if_ I did know something – which I don't – you wouldn't let me live anyway. You would just kill me after I'd spilled out what I know. So I don't care what you do to me."

Jace regarded him for a moment thoughtfully before he locked eyes with Alec for a moment. Then he pierced the demon through the chest, right where its heart would have been if it really were human, with his blade. It dissolved immediately, going back to whatever hellish dimension it had come from.

"That was completely pointless. We should've known that it wouldn't be that easy to find a demon that might be working for Jonathan – it obviously would not be his style to work together with minor demons like that blue-haired twat."

"Maybe we should go back inside." Isabelle said. "We could watch out for more demons... Maybe there are other ones."

"I don't think that it would change anything. We still would not find one that works for Jonathan. If there still is any demon in there, it will be just as unimportant ones as the one we've just killed. Maybe we should have known. It won't be easy to find him – wherever he is now. Though I doubt that he's still in Idris."

"But what should we do? Wait until he has found us?" Alec asked, looking shocked.

"Maybe that's exactly what we should do. Wait for him to find us. And in the meantime, preparing for war."

For a moment, all four of them were silent. That was when the boy Clary had bumped into earlier came out from behind a stack of boxes. "What the hell was that? You just... you killed that guy and he just... _vanished_... What was that?"

Surprised, shocked even, they looked at him, staring at him in silence for what seemed to be an eternity. Clary's heart pounded with fear. He could see them. She hadn't imagined it after all – he had stared at her, he had seen her earlier. But he was just a mundane. How was it possible for him to see them?

"Who are you?" Isabelle demanded without answering his question.

Frowning at her, he said, "You just _murdered _someone and you're asking me who I am? I should call the cops!"

"No, you shouldn't." Jace said, sounding annoyed. "We have not killed anyone. That was a demon. And when he vanished, as you've put it so nicely, he'd gone back to his home dimension. That's what happens when demons die in our world."

"Jace... How could you tell him that?" Alec said, looking at Jace in shock, though he just ignored him, still staring at the mundane boy with mild interest.

"What?" The boy stared at Jace as if he thought that he was crazy. And Clary couldn't blame him – if it were her in his place, she would be completely freaked out, too. Having to watch how four people in leather, carrying weapons, killed someone who looked like an ordinary human being... Still, they didn't know how he was even able to see them.

"You're just a mundane." Isabelle said, regarding him suspiciously. "Aren't you?"

"A... _what_...? What's a mundane?" he asked, swallowing hard. His gaze flickered to Jace's blade which was still in his hand. Clary moved closer to Jace, putting her hand on his which carried the blade, indicating for him to put it back inside his belt. She did not think that they had to expect anything dangerous from that boy.

"A mundane." Clary said to him, though more gentle than Isabelle and Jace had sounded. "Someone from the human world. Well, you do look like a mundane to me. We should... maybe we should take him with us..."

"Are you out of your mind, Clary?" Jace asked her, alarmed. "We can't just take him with us! What shall we do with him anyway?"

"Maybe she is right, Jace." Isabelle said, still looking at Simon who seemed to feel rather uncomfortable under Isabelle's gaze and still he could not manage to look away from her. Though his gaze flickered to the electrum whip that was curled around her waist from time to time. "If he is able to see through the Glamour... to see our world... He could be in danger. We should at least find out why he is able to see us. Maybe there's a simple explanation for that."

"But he's just a mundane. And, besides, don't you think that we have a lot of other, more pressing problems on our minds? Do we need some mundie to annoy us as well?"

"You know," the boy was saying now, "you might think of yourselves as some super-human species or whatever, but I am still perfectly capable of hearing you."

Jace rolled his eyes. "See?"

"Jace..." Clary looked at him, taking his hand again. "We should at least be sure that he'll be okay. He's witnessed us killing a demon. Who knows what else he might witness in the future and then people who should not notice him might notice him." It was their sacred duty to protect mundanes – so Clary thought that they should find out how that boy was able to see them.

Jace's expression softened when Clary touched his hand. Sighing, he nodded at last. "Alright, we'll take him with us. I do hope that you will not regret that choice later, though. Come along, then, mundie. If you fail to keep up with us, we will not take a look back to see where you are. If you can't keep up, we will just leave you."

* * *

Simon had managed to keep up with the Shadowhunters. When they arrived at Magnus', the warlock sat on his couch, reading in a book. As they walked in, though, he closed the book and looked up to them. "How did it go? Did you manage to find something out?"

"Well, not really. Okay – we have found nothing out. Nothing at all. But you'll be happy to see that Alec has brought back all of his body parts. At least I think so. I haven't checked." Jace couldn't help but grin in Alec's direction – his soon-to-be _Parabatai_ looked to the floor in embarrassment, surely thinking about if he really wanted to be _Parabatai_ with Jace after all.

"As far as I can remember, there were four of you when you went out. And now you're five." His gaze locked on Simon, regarding him with mild interest. "So... who the hell is that?"

"He is a mundane." Clary explained before Jace could say something that would be rather rude. "We have found him in Pandemonium. He'd followed us outside... He witnessed us killing a demon." She took a deep breath before saying, "He was able to see us even though we were glamoured. So we thought that... maybe there is something about him... Maybe he isn't a mundane. Maybe he's more than that. We just wanted to bring him along so you could check. If he's able to see the Shadow World, he could see... people and things that... he should not see. He could get into trouble."

Magnus nodded, understanding. He got up from the couch then, taking a few steps closer to them. "What's his name?"

"You know, I can speak for myself." the boy said at that, sighing exasperatedly. "And besides, not one of you had asked me my name, so you don't know it anyway. I'm Simon. Simon Lewis."

"So. Simon Lewis. Have you ever witnessed something like tonight before? Have you ever seen... things that you were not able to explain, people that only you seemed to notice but no one else?" Magnus asked him, regarding Simon a little closer now. "Uhm..." For a moment, Simon thought about that question. "I sometimes do notice things no one else seems to be able to see. Like... this might sound crazy now, even though I doubt that it sounds crazy to you since you... fight demons and stuff... but when I was in Central Park, I thought I had seen some... well, fairies."

Magnus only nodded and regarded him thoughtfully, before saying, "It's obvious. That boy's got the Sight."

"He's got the Sight?" Jace asked, stunned. "But... he is just a mundane..."

"It is true – there are not a lot of mundanes who have the Sight, but some have. It might be quite rare, but still there are a few of them who are born with it. Maybe he's got just the slightest bit of Downworlder blood inside of him, carried through generations, through centuries even. It happens occasionally. The Sight might not activate for generations but then, for whatever reason, it just does – boom. Boy's got the Sight."

Simon stared from Simon to Jace, clearny not understanding a word of what they were saying. "So... I've got the... what?"

"The Sight." Jace said, sighing impatiently. "That's the reason why you were able to see us – and that demon. Or fairies, for that matter. The Sight allows you to see through glamours, to see the Shadow World. Our world."

"But... what exactly is _your _world?"

Before Jace could continue explaining it to him, Clary cut him off, saying more gently, "We are Shadowhunters. We're half human, half angel. It's our duty to protect this world from evil – from demons. We hunt them. We kill them. Demons get into this, our world from hundreds or even thousands other dimensions. They want to destroy, to devour a world until it's rotten. We keep them from destroying this world. We protect mundanes – people who aren't aware of the Shadow World. Then there are Downworlders. Warlocks, like Magnus. Vampires. Werewolves. Fairies."

Simon stared at her for a moment in total disbelief before a grin flashed across his face. "So... That is _so freaking awesome_. I mean... I feel like I've stumbled inside _Dungeons and Dragons _and now I get to be a gamekeeper! This is so cool!"

At that, not only Clary, but all of them stared at him questioningly. "What is he even talking about?" Isabelle murmured. "What's _Dungeons and Dragons_ supposed to be?"

"I think it's a mundane game – they play it on computers." Magnus told her, though he wasn't able to fight back a grin. "You know, mundanes tend to have some strange hobbies."

Jace only sighed, shaking his head. "So now that the mundie knows what's going on, he can go home, can't he? We don't need a mundane here to keep us company. As I've said before, we already have enough problems on our hands."

"I think that he should stay – at least for now." Magnus said at that, looking at Jace. "He still needs to learn more about our world – just because he has the ability to notice, to see through glamours does not mean that he can take it. That he will notice when things might get dangerous, when it would be better to stay out of certain situations. He might get himself more easily into trouble now that he knows. Now that he will notice everything that's strange, that isn't normal in the world he used to know even more than before, he needs to learn how to act responsibly about it. So I think that it would be best for him to stay a couple of days, to learn more about our world.

"It's not like I'm too keen about having this job, but... oh, well... _You _were the ones who have brought him here, after all."

"It wasn't my choice to bring him here." Jace murmured when Simon cut in, "But I can't stay here. I have to go home. My mum... She'll wonder where I am. She'll be worried about me."

"You can tell her that you'll stay with friends for at least tonight. We'll see what we're going to do tomorrow." Magnus said. Sighing, Simon only nodded, seeming to know that he had no other choice than to stay with these strange people he barely even knew for now. He didn't even know all of their names yet.

When he turned away from them to call his mother to tell her that he'd spend the night at Eric's place, Jace looked at Magnus. "Are you sure that it's a good idea to let the mundie stay? What if he'll just get in our way?" "He won't. Oh, and by the way, I almost forgot to tell you... Lucian Graymark sent a message an hour ago. He'll be in New York tomorrow."

At that, Clary looked up at Magnus. "Really?" "Yes, he said that he'll be here by dawn if nothing goes wrong." "That is wonderful. I cannot wait to see Lucian." Clary said, rather to herself than to anyone of them. "Maybe he knows more about the Council now, about what they are thinking about Jonathan and his plans... Maybe they'll help now."

"We will see about that. But for tonight, I clearly have enough. We only killed one demon and even if we succeeded in saving that girl, we accomplished nothing. We have found nothing out about Jonathan. I will go to sleep now." Isabelle announced, sighing exasperatedly. She turned around to go to her room, though her gaze locked on Simon for a moment, watching as he talked to his mother on the phone. She composed herself fast enough, though, and went to her room, closing the door behind her.

Alec announced that he would go to bed, too, while Magnus went into his office, telling Jace and Clary that they should show Simon to his room. When they were gone, Jace looked at Clary, sighing. "You know, I'd be quite mad at you for suggesting that we take the mundie with us if there were anything you could do to anger me."

Grinning, Clary locked his arms around the back of Jace's neck, looking into his golden eyes for a moment. "I know that you can't be mad at me. But you've got to admit that I had a point. We couldn't just leave him there. At least we would have had to look for him because we had to find out why he was able to see us. So it was better to just take him along with us now than to search for him in the next few days."

Jace only nodded before kissing her gently on the forehead. "I will go to bed. Can you show him to his room?"

"Sure. See you in a bit." Smiling softly at her, Jace stroked her cheek once again before turning away from Clary, leaving for their room.

"So he can be nicer after all." Simon said suddenly and Clary turned to him, a little startled. She hadn't noticed that he'd stopped talking to his mother. "Jace is nice – I mean... he isn't always nice, but you'll like him more once you get to know him a little better. Jace is quite... moody and sarcastic. But it is nothing against you. You two just get to know each other. I'm Clary, by the way. You already know who Jace is. Our two friends are Alec and Isabelle. And you also know who Magnus is."

"You're the only nice person here, I think."

Laughing, Clary shook her head as she turned around to lead Simon to his room. "Izzy is nice, too. And Alec's just a little... shy."

"Well. Isabelle is also quite... uhm..."

Clary looked at him, though she already knew what he had wanted to say without him having to say it out loud. He thought that Isabelle was beautiful – or hot. Clary couldn't help but grin, although she didn't reply to that.

When they had reached his room, Simon looked around himself, seeming impressed. "I still can't believe what you have told me. I mean – after seeing you killing that... that thing, I do believe it, but still. It's just... wow."

"There's a lot you'll still have to learn about our world. It's pretty messed up right now."

Simon sat on the bed, looking up to her. "So, where are you coming from?"

"I grew up in Idris. I've only been in New York for a few days, to be honest. Idris is the home country of the Shadowhunters – it's invisible to mundanes. No one but Shadowhunters and Downworlders know about it."

"Wait – you're meaning to tell me that there is an invisible country that had never been discovered? It's just... there?"

"Yes, it is. Idris is protected by strong, powerful magical wards so mundanes won't be able to even notice it. To them, it simply doesn't exist. A lot of Shadowhunters live there, though most of us live around the world – because demons are everywhere, so protection is needed in every place in the world. We have Institutes in a lot of cities." Before he could ask her what an Institute was, she added, "Institutes are so-called homesteads for Shadowhunters. Every Institute is lead by a chosen Shadowhunter and they're also watching over their respective city. When Shadowhunters are in that city, when they're in need of shelter, they can come to an Institute. There'll always be a place for them in an Institute."

"Does an Institute exist here? In New York?"

"Yes, there is. In Manhattan, actually. Though you wouldn't notice it, I think. It's hidden by a strong glamour and even if you have the Sight, you'll have to concentrate hard to see through it."

"Why aren't you in the Institute, then, if one exists here?"

Clary smiled thoughtfully, only saying, "That's quite a long story."

Simon only nodded. "I think I will go to bed now. Thank you, Clary – I feel like we could be friends."

Clary liked that idea. She'd never found a friend of her own – of course Isabelle and Alec were her friends, but they had only become friends because of Jace. She was sure that they would never have gotten to know each other if it were not for him. "That would be lovely." Taking a deep breath, she turned around to the door, wanting to go to bed as she noticed Simon taking something out of his backpack he'd carried with him since the moment they had met. It looked like a book, though Clary wasn't sure.

"What is that?" she asked him curiously.

"Oh, that?" Simon held up the book to show her. "That's a manga. You know, a graphic novel. A comic. It's kinda like a book, though with pictures and... I love to read them. They're often about magic."

"Stories and pictures?" Clary asked, her eyes lightening up with interest. She thought about her sketchbook – it had burned along with all of her other things in her former home. She had drawn stories as well, about enchanted places, princes and princesses... Things that couldn't even happen in the Shadow World. "Can I take a look at it?"

"Sure." Simon said before giving her his graphic novel. Clary opened the book, though when she tried to read it, she frowned. "There must be something wrong with it..."

"Oh." Laughing, Simon took it out of her hand again and turning the book to the other side before giving it back to Clary. "You have to read it from backwards. That's normal for mangas. They're always being read like that."

Clary nodded, scanning the first few pages. "I have never seen something like that."

"Don't you have that kind of stuff in... in your world?"

"Well. We have books, of course. Lots of books. But in Idris, we don't have a lot of mundane technology. I have never been on the underground until a couple of days ago. I'd never watched a movie either."

"Wow. Must be pretty boring."

Laughing, Clary said, "Growing up in a place like Idris, among our people, is different to growing up in your world. But it isn't necessarily boring. Jace grew up in London – his parents lead the Institute there. So he's a lot more experienced with the mundane world than I am." Still looking at the manga, she asked Simon, "Could I borrow this from you? I didn't have time to get anything to read yet and... a lot had been going on in my life lately. I didn't had the time to read but I would like to lose myself in the pages of a book again. And this seems pretty interesting."

"Of course you can. If you like it, I'll recommend you a lot more graphic novels which you could like." He almost sounded excited about that before admitting, "I've never met anyone who had the same interests as I have. So of course you can read it. And I hope that you'll enjoy it. Well – I am sure that you'll enjoy it. You'll be a nerd after reading that."

Clary smiled at him, hugging the manga to her chest. Not asking him what exactly a _nerd _was. "Thank you. Good night, Simon. See you in the morning."

She went out of his room and took a look at his graphic novel again. For the first time since the fire Clary wished that she'd have her sketchbook with her. She didn't know if she could bring herself to buy a new one – one in which none of her old sketches would be in. They were lost forever, having been devoured by the flames that had devoured her mother.

But still, for the first time since she'd watched her home burning down, Clary felt the slightest want to draw.


	26. A Dreamer Who Should've Known Better

Thank you for your reviews! I'm happy that you liked how I've written Simon into the story. He won't be that important to the storyline and I'm throwing him in pretty close to the end, but it just felt right to have him in the story when I located it to New York City. I also felt that Clary was in need of a friend, someone other than the friends she only met because of Jace.

In this chapter, we meet Jonathan yet again. Let me know what you think of it in the reviews!

* * *

**Chapter 26 » A Dreamer Who Should've Known Better  
**When Clary got into Jace's and her room, he was already lying in bed. His arms were crossed behind his head and he stared thoughtfully against the ceiling. He didn't wear a shirt and even though Clary had seen him shirtless quite a few times now, the sight always took her breath away.

He looked up to her, smiling. "Did you sing that mundie a lullaby so he could sleep better?"

Rolling her eyes Clary laid the book on her bedside table before getting out of her shoes. She took off her jacket and jeans, though not her black shirt – she would sleep in it. Clary got under the blanket beside Jace, cuddling closer to him. He locked his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him. She leaned her head against his chest, feeling the heat vibrating from his skin.

"What is that?" he asked her, pointing at the manga laying on her bedside table. "That's a book Simon lend me. It looked interesting and I haven't read anything in so long. I thought that maybe I could concentrate on reading again. Maybe it might take my mind off things."

Jace nodded, touching his lips to the top of her head. "That's a good idea." Smiling, Clary closed her eyes, making circles with her finger on Jace's chest without realizing consciously that she was touching him. It felt so good, so perfect – just laying in his arms, feeling his bare skin underneath her, touching him... being this close to him and feeling so secure.

"Clary." he said then, taking a deep breath. His voice had changed. It caused Clary to pull away from him a little so she could look at him, worry mirroring in her green eyes. "What's wrong?"

"It's just... We haven't talked about what... what Jonathan tried to do to you. I haven't touched upon this because I wanted to give you time – to give you time to talk about it when you were ready. But it's been days and you still haven't said anything, you're acting like nothing happened when your brother tried to force himself on you. Tried to rape you. I know that this is hard, Clary. That it's hard for you to comprehend what had happened, especially because so many things happened at once in only one night. I know you cared about your brother and that you're falling apart inside because of what he truly is. I know that you've meant it when you said that you hated him – but I also know how much it hurts you. I hate Jonathan for that. Not only because of what he's done to my mother, but also because of what he's done to you. He'd hurt you... He violated you. I can't even think about what would have happened if I hadn't shown up in time."

His jaw was set, his hands clenched before he continued, "If he'd... succeeded in what he was trying to do to you... I would have killed him with my bare hands. If he would have violated you like that. I can't bear the thought of him kissing you, touching you. I will break every bone inside of his body for doing that to you."

Clary looked at Jace for a long moment, swallowing hard and not knowing what to do or say. She didn't want to talk about what Jonathan had tried to do to her – she didn't even want to think about it. She didn't want to remember how her brother had kissed her, how his hands had touched her body, how he'd teared the fabric of her shirt, his lips moving insistently against hers... A shiver went through her whole body when she remembered that, a feeling of sickness was threatening to overwhelm her.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Clary... You can't suppress what happened. I know that it's hard but you'll have to face it sooner or later..."

"I hate my brother. I hate him. Okay? Never would I have thought that he could be capable of doing something like that. He tried to kill you. He'd hurt Alec. He is... cruel and... nothing like the brother I used to have. The brother who meant so much to me. He tried to... to do these things to me and I..."

Clary couldn't go on. Tears were burning in her eyes. She looked away from Jace, shaking her head slightly. "I don't want to talk about it." she said again, almost pleadingly this time though. "Don't make me talk about it. Please."

Seeing Clary like that broke Jace's heart. He didn't say anything, just closed his arms around her again and pulled her closer to him. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to push you into talking about something you're not yet ready to talk about. I'm just worried about you, Clary. So worried. I want to be there for you. I want to protect you. But you've got to let me in."

"But I do let you in. No one else but you." Her voice was nothing more than a whisper. She buried her face in his shoulder, trying to hold back the tears that were still stinging her eyes. "You're the only one who can make me feel better. Do you know what you said to me, only weeks ago? When you told me how I was the only one who gave you hope after feeling hopeless when your mother had died? That... that I was the only one who could make you happy, who could take some of your pain away... That's exactly how I feel about you, Jace. You're taking some of my pain away, making me forget about if – even if it's just for a second. But don't make me talk about... about what Jonathan has done. I just can't. That you had to witness him... him kissing me... it is unbearable to think about..."

Her voice broke again. A single tear rolled down her cheek, falling softly on his skin.

"Clary..." Jace whispered her name and pulled her even closer into his arms, one of his hands tangled in her red curls, the other stroking her back reassuringly. "Nothing of what happened is your fault. Don't even think that for a second. I'm glad that I caught him kissing you – that I came before he could have done much more." Taking a deep breath, Jace cupped Clary's face in his hands, locking her green eyes with his golden ones.

"He will never touch you again. I won't let him."

Clary only nodded. Even though, deep down inside of her, she knew that Jace could not make these promises, she still knew that he would do anything to keep them.

"We should try to get some sleep now." he whispered softly against her ear. "Will you hold me?" Clary asked him. "Of course I will."

Jace laid behind Clary, pulling her close to him. Her back was pressed against his naked chest, her legs against his. Her head rested under his chin. Jace breathed in the sweet scent of her hair. His arms were closed around her waist, her hands on his. It was the most comfortable Clary could feel. Lying here with Jace, it felt perfect. Their bodies seemed to fit together perfectly. When he held her in his arms, Clary felt safe. She felt his heartbeat against her skin. Feeling his heart beating against her own.

He kissed the hollow under her ear, sending a shiver down Clary's spine. "I will never let go of you." he said, brushing his lips across the back of her neck before resting his chin on the top of her head again. Clary pressed her body even closer to Jace's, wanting to feel as much of him as possible.

They listened to each other breathing before both of them drifted off into a soundless sleep.

* * *

_They were lying on the grass behind their house, close to each other. Clary could feel her brother's fair hair gently touching her shoulders as his head rested loosely against it. They were staring up at the cloudless sky, both of them, spending time together in silence like they so often did. It wasn't awkward at all. They could communicate with one another without having to say anything._

_She was seven years old, he was eight._

"_Does it still hurt?" Clary asked him gently. It took Jonathan a long moment to answer. "No. It doesn't hurt anymore. You don't need to worry about me, Clary."_

_She knew that he was lying. Clary could sense it in the way his body had tensed, in the way his voice sounded hollow, without any feeling. "Don't lie to me, Jonathan." Clary said, though she did not sound angry – she just wanted him to tell her the truth._

_Sighing, Jonathan propped himself up on his elbows, looking down at his sister who was staring up at him, as if wanting to challenge him to tell her the truth. "Okay. You're right. It does still hurt. Are you satisfied now?"_

"_No. I'm not." Clary said softly before sitting up herself. "I will only ever be satisfied when Dad stops hitting you."_

"_Well, he won't stop hitting me. So you should stop worrying about it." He sounded bitter – as if he was already convinced that their father would never stop punishing him. Punishing him for disobeying him, for not doing as he told him. Clary could never understand how their father punished Jonathan so badly when there was nothing he did wrong. He was the most caring, protective, lovable brother she could imagine. And he was much more than that to Clary. He was her best friend. There was no one in this world she trusted more than him._

_Even now, Clary sneaked into Jonathan's bed room almost every night, sleeping in the same bed as him just like they had done when they were very little because Clary couldn't sleep in her own. They would fall asleep together in his bed, holding hands through the night._

_What could he possibly be doing wrong, in their father's eyes, to deserve being punished like that?_

"_Can I take a look?" she asked him then, which caused Jonathan to tense even more. He never wanted to show her his wounds. Most of the time Clary had to force him into doing so._

"_No. I don't want to. It's not that bad, really. You don't need to worry about me."_

"_But I do, Jonathan. I do worry about you. You're my brother and I love you. I don't want you to be in pain. So, please, show me where Father has hit you."_

_Taking a deep breath, hesitant at first, Jonathan pulled up his shirt at last, showing her deep bloody gushes on his back. Clary couldn't help herself but suck in a breath at the sight of them. Her father would often hit Jonathan's back – he'd whipped him several times. Even though Jonathan was only eight years old, he was quite big for his age. Soft muscles had already begun to grow, to make his body look strong. He would grow up to be a good Shadowhunter._

_Clary touched her hand to his back, softy stroking the parts of his skin that weren't bloody, that weren't sore and hurting. Still, Jonathan's body was too tense so when he felt her touching him, he let out a small whimper of pain at first. When Clary continued touching his skin, though, he relaxed a little under the feel of her fingertips._

"_I should get a wet cloth to clean the wounds."_

"_No. It's okay. They'll heal on their own."_

"_Jonathan..." Clary started to protest, but her brother pulled his shirt down again firmly, turning around so he could face her. "You don't need to treat my wounds. You just need to stay with me. That's all I need to heal. Okay? Don't ever leave me alone."_

_Clary regarded her brother for a long moment, his onyx-colored eyes locked with her green ones. There was so much feeling inside of them, so much she could see – so much he only ever allowed her to see. She could see how scared he was of losing her, how much she meant to him, how much he needed her. How scared he was of their father, even though Jonathan would never admit so, not even to her. How much it hurt him, it pained him – not physically but mentally – that he hit him. How vulnerable he was. How much he longed for love... And how happy, how genuinely and completely happy he was that Clary gave him that love._

_The only person in the world who loved him unconditionally._

_Though Clary could not understand how Jonathan could fear that no one else could love him. He was the most wonderful boy in the world. Clary loved her brother with all her heart._

_Sometimes he thought that he needed her more than she needed him._

_But it wasn't true. Clary needed him just as much, loved him just as much._

"_I will never leave you alone." she said, smiling at him in that childlike way when one still believed in happily ever afters. When a child had not yet realized what a mess this world truly was. Jonathan wished that he could smile the way his sister smiled – but he couldn't, for he had felt what a mess this world was they lived in and his only hope, the only thing that made him want to even go on living was his sister. "I promise."_

"_Don't make promises you can't keep, Clarissa."_

_Now her smile turned into a grin. Clary leaned closer towards her brother, hitting him playfully in the chest. "I will always keep my promises, Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern. And I expect you to keep yours as well."_

"_But what is it you want me to promise you?"_

"_That you'll never leave me as well. That we'll be Parabatai when we're older."_

_He smirked at her. "I can promise you that I'll never leave you. Though we can't be Parabatai. You know that it's against the Law for relatives to be Parabatai."_

"_The law's rubbish. People should be Parabatai with the ones they feel closest to. And I feel closest to you."_

"_We don't need to become Parabatai to be bound to each other, Clary."_

_She looked at him for a moment before smiling again. They were still children – and yet they talked like grown-ups, so determined in what they wanted the most, what they were feeling. What they needed. "So you're saying that we'll always be bound to each other, no matter what?"_

"_Always."_

When Clary woke up, she thought at first that she was in her room in the Morgenstern manor again, in Idris. It took her a few seconds to realize that this wasn't her room and that she was not in her former home – nor was she in Idris. She was in Magnus Bane's apartment, lying in a bed in a room of his, Jace sleeping next to her.

Clary sat up, still haunted by the dream she'd just had – or, rather, the memory she had dreamed about. When she saw someone move in the shadows, however, Clary jumped out of the bed, a cry of fear lingering on her lips. Jonathan was leaning against a wall, smiling at Clary the way he had smiled in that dream. Smiling the way Lucifer might have smiled before Falling out of Heaven.

"Don't be scared, little sister. You're still dreaming."

"What?" Clary looked around herself, confused. She couldn't be sleeping. She had just woken up. But Jace was still asleep. And she knew that, if she really were awake, he would have woken up, too, when she had jumped out of bed. He always sensed it when she was distressed, he always felt it when she needed him.

Jonathan took a few steps closer towards Clary. "I didn't have any other option to reach out to you. That Warlock has guarded his apartment quite well – there's no way for me to enter without him knowing it. But he can't control your dreams, can he? So I thought that I could pay you a little visit in one of your dreams. The best thing about this is that I am the one controlling this dream. You will only wake up from it when I allow you to wake up from it."

Her whole body was shaking and she pressed closer against the wall. "Jace!" she cried out to him, even though she knew that he wouldn't hear her. Knew that Jonathan was telling the truth. Smirking, Jonathan walked closer towards her, looking her body up and down. Only now did Clary realize that she was wearing nothing more than a shirt. His gaze lingered on her bare legs.

"He won't hear you, little sister. Like I've just told you. This is a dream. He can't save you from your dreams. We're all alone now, just you and me."

When he stood right before her, Jonathan looked down at her, smiling. "I have missed you. You can't even imagine how much I have missed you. It wasn't that easy finding you, but Lilith has her ways of finding people. Did you really think that you could hide from me? That you could run away from me? No, Clary. I will never let you get away."

He touched a lock of her red hair, curling it around his finger. "You might not have kept your promise, but that's okay. Because I will keep my promise. My promise to never leave you alone... You remember Clary, don't you? We'll always be bound to each other, no matter what. You don't even seem to realize it, but there's so much more between us than just the ordinary bond of siblings. We belong to each other. We need each other. You must know that, deep inside of you."

Taking a deep breath, he let go of the lock of her hair, looking into Clary's eyes. "I admit that I might have rushed things a little the last time we saw each other. For that, I am truly sorry, Clarissa. I never wanted to hurt you. I shouldn't have tried to force you into doing something you're not yet ready to do. From now on, I shall give you all the time you need until you're ready. Until you're ready to be with me in that way I want to be with you so badly. It's just so hard... Waiting for you... Knowing that you're with _him_. Knowing that you allow him to touch you. Imagining where he might touch you, what he might do to you. I would never forgive myself when you're finally ready to be with me, when we sleep together and you might already have slept with him."

Clary stared at him, wide-eyed, feeling nauseous. "I will never want to sleep with you! You're sick! You're disgusting! How could you even think that I would one day want to have sex with my own brother?"

Jonathan only smiled at her words, cupping her face with one of his hands. He didn't reply to any of her words. "Remember that nightmare you were having a few weeks back? I had _felt _you having a nightmare, I sensed it. I felt that you needed me. I had dreamed about the same thing, though in my dream, you were by my side, watching as I killed that Herondale boy..." Sighing, he looked at her again. "But I knew that you were scared, so I got to you to be there for you. And I know that you liked the feeling of me holding you in my arms. That you felt like being kids again when we'd always slept together in the same bed. Think of it this way when we'll do it now... We'll only add some dirtier things to sleeping together in the same bed."

Clary wanted to throw up at him. She pressed her hands against his chest, pushing her away from him and thankfully, he took a few steps back. "I would rather die than having sex with you!"

"We'll see about that, Clary." He watched her a moment longer in silence. "There was never another girl for me, you know. Don't you think that I had tried to get these feelings out of my system at first? I did try. I tried making out with other girls, I even slept with some. But all the while, I could only ever think about you... Imagine that it was _you _I was kissing, imagine that it was _your body _I was touching... Imagine that it were _your hands_, _your mouth _giving me pleasure. It never worked. I could never get you out of my head and after a while, I realized that I didn't want to. That I didn't care if you were my sister, because I love you and I want you. I just needed you to realize that.

"You asked me about that night I'd made out with Isabelle Lightwood a few weeks ago. About that other girl's name I had called her. Even though I'm sure you have already guessed by which name I have called her, I still want to tell you. It was your name. I should have restrained myself a little more. What I'd been doing was quite dangerous. If she hadn't been that drunk, if she'd remembered..." He shrugged. "I guess Dad would have been pretty pissed." He grinned again. "I was kissing that dumb girl and getting off on her body rubbing against mine while thinking about you. It's as simple as that, Clary. You're in my veins. I can't get you out. Nor do I want to."

Clary stared at him, feeling dizzy and even more nauseous than before. Though him mentioning her father made her think of something else. Dread cursed through her body, letting her whole body shake with fear. "Have you set our house on fire? Have... have you killed Mum and Dad?"

At that, Jonathan frowned, looking genuinely surprised. "No. I haven't killed them. It was Father. He set the house on fire. He wanted to kill himself and our mother as well. So she would not be able to leave him after everything she had found out about what he'd done. It was him, not me, Clary."

Swallowing hard, Clary looked to the floor, not sure if she could even believe him. After what her father had done... Killing his parents-in-law, experimenting on both of his children before they'd even been born, turning one of them knowingly into a monster... Why should he not have been capable of killing himself, as well as her mother? Still the thought sickened her.

"But that is actually what I came here to talk about."

At that, Clary looked up to her brother, surprised. "What do you mean?"

"I wanted to talk about the fire. There was no way to rescue Dad. And, for all I care, I hope that it hurt like hell when he burned to his death. But Lilith happened to save Mum. I can't say that she did it out of the goodness of her heart – or that I had asked her to save Mum. But when she realized what was happening, she'd thought that it would be quite advantageous for us to have her in our pocket rather than her being dead. She is with us, Clary – I've been holding her hostage this whole time you've thought that she was dead."

"But... this cannot be true..." Even though Clary willed herself not to believe Jonathan, knowing that he wanted to manipulate her, she still couldn't keep her heart from racing inside her chest with wild hope. "Lucian... he'd written that they found bones..."

"The house burned down to ruins, Clary. Yes, they found bones – but there weren't that many left anyway. I have mum. She's with Lilith and me. And she's alive. Though she won't stay that way for long if you choose not to obey me. I will let mum go, Clary, I will let her live. Even though I have every reason to torture her, to kill her for never loving me, for looking at me like I'm a monster even when I was a child, I will let her live and leave in peace. The only thing you have to do is come to me. Be on my side. If you do that, our mother will be free."

Clary stared at him, her eyes widening in shock and fear. Her mother lived. She had to live. Jonathan couldn't be bluffing – this kind of lie could be unraveled way too easily. As soon as Clary would realize that he'd been lying to her, she would blow the deal off. Maybe it was just that hope cursing through her whole body that made her want to believe that her mother was still alive.

But in this moment, even if she did not know for sure, Clary knew that she would do anything to get her mother back to safety if there was even the slightest chance that she might still be alive.

"What do you want me to do?"

Jonathan smiled at her, obviously pleased with what she'd said. "Come to Central Park. After this dream ends, you'll wake up immediately. Get out of your bed and leave for Central Park. Do not wake Jace up or any of your other friends. Come alone. If you do not come alone, I will kill her. You will not be able to save her then. When you're in Central Park, I'll be there, waiting for you."

Clary swallowed hard, nodding. She knew that she shouldn't do what he asked of her. But, deep down inside, Clary knew that she had to. If he was telling her the truth and she would not have done anything that was possible to save her mother... She would forever hate herself. "And you promise that you won't hurt Mum?"

"I promise, Clary. You know that I would never break a promise I've given to you."

For a moment, Clary and Jonathan looked at each other in silence. She tried to find some trace of the little boy, of her brother she had loved so much, the brother she'd promised would never lose her in the deep blackness of his eyes. But there was none.

"I will do as you said." she said finally, taking a deep breath.

An even brighter smile crossed his lips now. "We'll see each other soon, then."

* * *

That was when Clary woke up. She knew exactly what she had to do. As soundlessly as she could, she got out of bed. Not even thinking about what she was going to do for a minute or else she might reconsider it too much, or even wake Jace up. But she could not do that. She could not risk her mother's life.

Even though the thought of leaving Jace behind, of joining Jonathan and never seeing Jace again, broke her heart to pieces. She put some clothes on and when she was finished, she took one last glance at Jace. Trying to remember him just the way he was now, sleeping, looking peaceful, like an angel. Trying to press that last picture she would ever see of him inside her mind, so she would never have to forget.

She felt tears stinging in her eyes she knew she could not cry. Clary bend down to Jace, kissing him softly on the lips, brushed them against his one last time. "I love you." she mouthed, not daring to say these words out loud in fear that he might wake up. "I will never stop loving you. I'm sorry."

Swallowing down a sob, Clary turned away from Jace. And without looking back, she left her room.

Clary knew that she might be doing a great mistake. But if going to Jonathan alone, giving herself up to him meant saving her mother... She would do _anything _to get her mother back, to know that she was still alive. Ever since her supposedly death, ever since watching her home burning down, it hadn't stopped hurting. It would never stop hurting. And even though Clary left all of the people she loved, cared about behind now – especially Jace – she knew that she was doing the right thing. Because if her mother was still alive, she'd save her tonight. And to save her, to make sure that she could live... Clary would do anything for that. She'd go straight through hell. She'd do much more, much worse things than staying with Jonathan.

Though having to stay with her brother, imagining what he might want to do to her scared Clary. She tried not to think about it as she looked out of the window of the subway. She could not think about that. Clary needed to be strong now. She'd made her choice – there was no going back now. She needed to save her mother. Now that there was a chance that she was still alive... Clary just couldn't let it pass by. She would regret it if she wouldn't act by Jonathan's conditions now.

So she would go to Central Park, alone. She would meet him there. And what would happen then... She didn't know.

When Clary arrived at Central Park, she was not really sure where she should go exactly. Taking a deep breath, she wandered around for a while, looking around herself. Looking for her brother. He'd said that he would be waiting for her, but there wasn't any sign of him yet – but the park was big and suddenly Clary was afraid that she might not find him. That he'd think that she wouldn't come and that he would kill her mother...

"Clary. There you are. I knew you'd come. Even though you had said that you would do as I say, I wasn't quite sure of it until now."

She heard his voice behind him. Shivering with fear, though she tried to push these feelings away, tried to be strong and confident instead, she turned around to look at Jonathan. "Where's mum? I'm here now. You said that you would let her go when I come to Central Park alone – and I have. So that means you will let her go... Now!"

"All in its proper time, sweet little sister."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Jonathan did not reply to that, though. He moved closer towards Clary, who stepped away from him, not able to fight the fear that was cursing through her veins. "Before I will let Mother go, you might have to come with me. You could just fool me now, couldn't you? Saying that you're coming with me when you are, in fact, planning on running away with Mother."

"That is not what I am planning!" Clary said desperately. "Please, Jonathan. Just let Mum go. I will stay with me. You have my word!"

Jonathan regarded his little sister for a long moment, before shaking his head sadly. "You have broken your promises to me already, Clary. I am not willing to believe you anymore. So you have to understand that I can't let Mother go that easily. You will have to prove to me that you're going to stay with me, that you won't try to run away as soon as I set her free."

"But how? Just spill it out! I'll do anything for you to believe me. Just let Mum go..."

"Like I said, love. All in its proper time." Jonathan reached out for Clary and before she could take another step away from him, he'd locked his arms around her waist, dragging her along to the pond which was close to where they had been standing. "What are you doing, Jonathan?" Clary said and even though she knew that she didn't, she couldn't help herself but try to struggle against his grip.

"It's going to be fine, Clary. You just need to come with me. I know that I've said that we would meet in Central Park, but as you can see, I haven't Mum with me here. We need to be somewhere else..." Clary stared at him, shock and fear mirroring in her green eyes. "But where is that? Where are you going to take me?"

"You'll see. Trust me." Jonathan's black eyes locked with hers, and for a moment, Clary thought that she saw something in the depths of his eyes – hope, a sense of feeling other than hatred. "But I can't trust you anymore." Clary said, her voice was barely more than a whisper. "You know that, Jonathan, don't you?"

"Well. Right now you don't have any other choice than to trust me." he said simply and with that, he put his arms tightly around her small, delicate body once again and picked her up so she couldn't struggle against him anymore. "Jonathan..." Clary said, her voice getting louder. "Stop it! Tell me at least where we are going first... Please..."

But Jonathan didn't say anything at all. He waded through the water of the pond, still holding Clary in his arms. And when they were on the exact spot that was touched by the light of the moon, suddenly something changed... "You don't need to be scared, Clary. Everything's going to be alright. I won't hurt you. I will never hurt you again." Clary heard Jonathan whisper against her ear. Strangely, it reminded her of when they both had still been children – when Jonathan would try soothing her when she had woken up from a nightmare or from a thunderstorm raging outside. For a moment, she even felt more relaxed, letting herself lean closer against her brother.

"Close your eyes."

She had no idea why she was listening to her brother, why she was feeling so safe around him when she should be feeling frightened and full of hatred at the sight of him. And yet here she was, trusting him even though she did not want to trust him. Then everything around her seemed to become blurry, her eyelids felt so heavy that she was not able to open them again and before Clary knew it, Jonathan and her had stepped through a Portal into the Court of the Seelie Queen. . .


	27. Terror at the Seelie Court – Part 1

Oh my godness! So many reviews! This is freaking insane. I don't know how many reviews I'd gotten after my last update, maybe 15 or 20? I can't believe that even after we're already 27 chapters into this story, there still seem to be some people discovering it only now. I'm so grateful to all of you guys who are so enthusiastic about this than I am. I'm so proud of this story because it's the longest I have planned out and written so far, so it means something special to me.

This chapter is, actually, one of my favourite ones, I think, and that is because of Jonathan. I don't know why or what it even is about him, but writing from his point of view is quite fascinating. So I'm sitting at the edge of my seat for now, looking forward to reading your thoughts on this chapter.

* * *

**Chapter 27 » Terror at the Seelie Court – Part 1**

_I could drag you from the ocean,  
__I could pull you from the fire  
__And when you're standing in the shadows  
__I could open up the sky  
__And I could give you my devotion  
__Until the end of time  
_Hurts – Somebody to Die For

When Jace woke up, he knew that something had happened. Without having even seen the empty side of Clary's bed, he knew that she was gone when he woke up. Gasping, he sat up, looking immediately over at Clary's side, though he already knew that she wasn't there. All he'd felt beside him was coldness... Her warm body wasn't lying there, snuggled close against his own... He felt cold, his whole body was almost shivering as if it was feeling the absence of Clary, as if feeling that something important was missing... And when his golden, luminous eyes scanned her side of the bed, he knew for sure that Clary was gone.

"Clary..."

Jace got out of bed at once, putting on a shirt and walking straight into the living room. "Magnus!" he shouted for the warlock. "Clary's gone! We need to find her!"

Magnus came out of his study, looking confused at Jace. "What are you talking about? Where's Clary?"

"I don't know!" Jace was enraged. He wanted to go out there right now, wanted to find Clary. "She wasn't in the bed when I woke up!" The doors to Alec's and Isabelle's rooms opened and they got out. Soon after, even the mundane followed. "She's gone. I have no idea where she is. She didn't leave a message or anything. And she certainly didn't wake me up when she left! I think that Jonathan might have something to do with this. I have a bad feeling, Magnus. A very bad feeling... We need to find her."

Magnus nodded, looking at Jace as if he knew exactly what the golden-blond boy was feeling right now. "Do you have something of hers? Something I could track her with..." "Of course. I'll get something from our room."

Just a few moments later Jace had returned to them, handing Magnus a necklace Clary had always worn, the only thing of hers that she had been able to bring from Idris since everything else of her personal stuff had been destroyed in the fire – he had been relieved to find that she had taken it off before going to sleep. And that she had not put it on when she had left.

Magnus took the necklace and went over to the table, having already put out some ingredients he'd need for his spell, as well as a map of New York City. He just hoped that Clary still was in New York. After learning about her rune-creating power, he wondered if she might have created a Portal to leave. But he hoped that this was not the case, that Clary was still somewhere in New York, easily for him to track down.

Jace noticed that Isabelle and Alec had already put on their gear. "When Magnus finds out where Clary is, we'll go get her." Isabelle said when she noticed Jace looking at them, smiling slightly. "You didn't seriously think that Alec and I would let you go out there alone and face whatever it is you might be facing when you save Clary? It's more than certain that, whatever has happened, it has something to do with Jonathan. We will not let you face Jonathan alone."

"We won't." Alec agreed with his sister, looking at Jace with so much affection and protectiveness that it almost hurt. He knew why Alec and Isabelle meant so much to him – why they were like siblings to him. They would never leave him alone. Just like he would never leave them alone. He would do anything to save them... And now, that Jace was going to do anything to find Clary, to bring her back, they would come with him. No matter what might be lying ahead of them. "We'll get through this together. Just like we promised each other. Remember?"

A small smile crossed Jace's lips. "Of course I remember."

"Maybe it's starting now. Maybe this is it." Alec said, looking thoughtfully over at Magnus for a moment. "Maybe Jonathan has decided to strike at us now. He wants to start fighting now..."

"And we're nowhere near ready." Never before had anyone of them heard Isabelle talk this way. She would always be brave, completely fearless. But now they could hear the fear in her voice. Could hear it clinging around her heart. But she still stood straight, confident. "But we'll make it. We will push him into Hell for all the things he's done." Isabelle looked over at Simon then, regarding him for a moment. "Come along, mundie boy. Maybe it'd be best if I told you some things before we have to go."

"You will not take that mundane along!" Alec said, looking at Isabelle, alarmed. "Of course not. I just think that he should understand what's going on."

Isabelle took Simon's arm and lead him back to his room.

Jace, taking a deep breath, had already started to arm himself before looking at Magnus. "Have you found something out already? Do you know where Clary is?"

Magnus was silent for a long moment, completely lost in the spell he was performing. Suddenly, though, his head jerked up and he looked at them, at Jace and Alec. "She's in Central Park."

"In Central Park?" Jace started, confused, wondering if Clary had only gone out for a walk after all. But he didn't believe that – if that were the case, she would have woken him up to tell him. Or she would have left a message at least.

It was Alec, though, who answered Jace's question. "Central Park is the domain of the Seelie Queen. Clary being there... It can only mean that she has entered the Seelie Court. And since I don't think that Clary had any idea that the entry to the Seelie Court is located in Central Park, I'm fairly sure that it was Jonathan who has brought her there. That maybe he has allied himself with the Seelie Queen – I do not think that he would have gained permission to bring Clary to the Court. Whatever it is they are doing together, this is bad news, Jace. The fair folk had stayed out of Shadowhunter business for hundreds of years – they never became part in Shadowhunter politics or Shadowhunter wars. If Jonathan somehow managed to get the Seelie Queen to join forces with him..."

Alec swallowed hard, looking from Jace to Magnus. "It could mean that Jonathan is, in fact, very powerful and that the Seelie Queen thinks that he's more likely to win this battle than the Shadowhunters."

Jace was silent for a moment, before he looked up at Alec and Magnus. "It doesn't matter to me what Jonathan might have planned right now. All I want is to bring Clary back. We know where she is. So we'll go to Central Park, find the entrance to the Seelie Court and get her. Do you know where the entrance is?" he asked, looking questioningly at Magnus. The Warlock nodded, though he didn't say anything. He took a piece of paper and scribbled something onto it. "I have a feeling that someone who could help us could be coming over tonight. If no one of us is here, though, no one can tell him what happened. Though, if he manages to arrive tonight, he could send some help..." Magnus seemed to be talking to himself rather than talking to Jace and Alec.

After folding his note and scribbling the initials _L.G. _onto it, he left it on his table, clearly visible for anyone who would enter his apartment. "I do know the entrance to the Seelie Court. And I will come with you. I might be of good use to you and even though the Seelie Queen and I have a kind of rocky relationship, I will try to allure her from working together with Jonathan Morgenstern. I'm not sure if I'll be able to do that, but I might as well try."

"We should leave now. I don't think that too much time has already passed since Clary left for Central Park, but still. I want to be there before Jonathan can do anything to her..."

At that, the door to Simon's room opened once again and Isabelle and he stepped out from it. "We're ready."

"You are seriously _not _taking the mundie with you? By the Angel, Isabelle! He's only known for one freaking night about the existence of Shadowhunters and Downworlders! And now you want to take him to the Seelie Court where a battle might await us? He doesn't even know about Jonathan and what happened. How can you be this irresponsible? He'll only put us in more danger because we'll have to protect him!"

"I know, Alec, I know." Isabelle said, sighing exasperatedly. "Simon's not actually coming with us to the Seelie Court. But after I told him what we're going to have to do, about Jonathan, he said that his friend Eric's got a van and that he doesn't live too far from here. Simon has a key to that van. He could drive us to Central Park. It's faster than the subway."

"I can't believe that you're demon slayers and all that and that you have to use the subway to go to your demon killing activities. Or, well, save the world."

"As long as we'll get to Central Park fast, I drive in his bloody van. Let's just get going already. If more time passes, we could be too late – Clary could be lost!" Jace said impatiently. Taking some last weapons, they left Magnus' apartment. Ready for whatever might await them in the Seelie Court.

Ready to fight a battle that they were, in fact, not yet ready for.

* * *

Jonathan carried Clary in the rooms the Seelie Queen had arranged for his little sister. For a moment, as he stood on the threshold, holding Clary close to him, her limp figure lying in his arms, he looked around the room. A large king sized bed stood at one wall, next to it a bedside table. There was a vanity table with flowers on it, an armoire decorated with carved flowers and animals. On the wall opposite to the one where the bed stood was a red, long and thick curtain. For a moment Jonathan thought that the curtain had moved only slightly, but when he looked at it again, the curtain was completely motionless. His eyes must have played a trick on his mind. He had no idea where that curtain lead, but it was possibly another room abutting on this one.

Clary had passed out just before they had entered the Seelie Court, just like its queen had predicted she would. It was much more easier this way since Jonathan had known that Clary would try to fight him off, to struggle against him... He could not let that happen. He knew that she wanted to see Jocelyn. And that, if he would not let Clary see her, she would think that he'd lied to her. He knew his sister too well to know that she wouldn't try to fight him.

After all, he had been the one to train her. The one who had always told her that she needed to fight.

Of course she would fight him. Even though Jonathan wished that she wouldn't, that she would trust him because he did not mean any harm to fall upon his little sister. He wanted to make her happy... He wanted her to be save. But Clary thought that he wanted to hurt her. She thought that they were _enemies_ when, actually, they belonged together. But he would make her see the truth. Eventually, Clary would realize that he'd been right all along and then they would be together finally. She would be by his side, just like things were supposed to be.

"You will be my Queen, Clary." he whispered, even though knowing that she couldn't hear him. Jonathan laid her down on the bed which some of the Seelie Queen's handmaidens had arranged for Clary. Taking a deep breath, he looked down at her for a moment, gently brushing a loose strand of red hair out of her pale face. She looked peaceful, so beautiful, lying there, sleeping. Like nothing was troubling her at all. Jonathan wondered what she was dreaming about.

He hoped that it had something to do with him. That she was dreaming about something they'd done together... about a particular good day they'd spent together... Jonathan had watched Clary when she had been dreaming earlier, he'd watched the features on her face relax, he'd even watched a smile cross her lips from time to time.

"Oh... Clary..." Whispering her name, Jonathan leaned his forehead against hers for a moment, closing his eyes, breathing in her scent. He had missed her so much. Being without Clary had felt like a part of himself was missing, a part of his heart. He needed her. Needed her so badly. Why could Clary not realize that? Why did she think that his feelings for hers were disgusting when, in truth, they were the most real, the most innocent and most wonderful thing he had ever felt?

His hand stroked her cheek before Jonathan pulled away a little from Clary, watching her. "You're soon going to wake up. And you'll just try to fight me again. I can't let that happen. I know that I've promised not to hurt you anymore, and I won't. I won't break that promise." Jonathan pressed his lips gently to her forehead, taking a deep breath.

When he stood up from her bed, he grabbed something from the bedside table. It was a flask made out of glass, holding a softly golden shining liquid. The Seelie Queen had given it to him with the promise that, if Clary drank that potion, she would feel just as he wanted her to feel... That she would see the truth, that she would admit her true feelings she had for him. Other than that, Jonathan had no idea what the potion did exactly, but he trusted the Queen.

He sat next to Clary on her bed and pulled her up into a sitting position before putting a hand on her head. Slowly, Clary's eyes flattered open. She seemed to be confused, not knowing where she was. "Jonathan?" she breathed and his heart pounded violently against his rib cage when he heard her whispering his name. "It's going to be fine. Trust me."

He put the now open flask to her lips and when Clary felt it, she tensed in his arms, struggling again. "What are you doing? What is that? Don't!"

"I won't hurt you. Just drink that. Please. It will make you feel better."

Before Clary could protest even further, Jonathan's grip on her became more stronger and than he put the liquid into her mouth, holding her head up high so she would have to swallow it instead of trying to spit it out again. She gagged at the liquid burning its way down her throat, though Jonathan did not have any other choice than to let her drink it all of it or she would have too much time to fight him off when he pulled the flask away from her lips for even a second to let her take a breath.

When Clary had emptied the flask, he threw it away, looking at his little sister with burning desire and expectations in his black eyes. She seemed to be dizzy again, her whole body shivering before she collapsed right into his arms again. "Clary? What's wrong?" All of a sudden Jonathan felt fear pumping through his veins. He'd known that he took a risk in allying himself with the Seelie Queen – even though they could not lie, they were cunning. He had been careful enough, though, had thought that he had asked the Seelie Queen the right questions to which he wanted answers...

She could not have given him something else. Poison, for instance.

She could not lie to him.

That was when Clary's eyes opened again, fixing on him. He looked down at her, relief washing over him. "Oh, Clary... You scared me right now. I thought that you were going to die!" He stroked her cheek, brushing his thumbs softly against her warm skin. She looked at him for a very long moment in silence. Never before had Jonathan seen Clary look at him in such a way. With such adoration written all across her face, with so much love mirroring in her green eyes... It was just the way Jonathan had always wished his sister to look at him. When he felt her hands wandering to his shoulders, touching him, his heart started pounding even faster inside his chest.

"I have waited for you. I have waited so long. Everything around me was dark. There was nothing but darkness. Where were you? I was so scared that you would not find me."

"Of course I found you. I will always find you, Clary, no matter where you are." he said softly.

He touched his lips to her forehead once again when Clary's hands slid down his shoulders to his chest, touching his skin through the fabric of his black shirt. "I will never leave you again." He had not known what to expect once he would have given Clary the potion. If her senses would be fogged... If she would imagine having feelings for him... But the Seelie Queen had told him that _she would see the truth_, that _her true feelings would surface _right in front of him as soon as she had taken the potion.

So it couldn't be just a spell. It couldn't be magic. What Clary was doing now, what she was saying... what she was _feeling_... It was because she truly felt it. Because she truly wanted it. She wanted to be with him, to be close to him, to touch him... The potion had made her see the truth. The potion had made her see what her true feelings were.

"I love you. You can't imagine how happy I am right now. I love, love, love you and I will never let you go again. I swear. There's nothing more important in this world than you, Clary. Nothing. I am completely happy now. You could ask anything of me... Anything... I would do it. I would give up anything now that you're with me. Just as long as we are together... That's everything I need to be happy. Just you."

They locked eyes for a moment, his black ones meeting her green ones. Clary had locked his arms around the back of his neck, lying down on the bed and pulling him on top of her. He had propped himself up on his arms which rested next to Clary's head so he wouldn't crush her with his weight. "I can't believe that this is truly happening." he said, in wonder, before leaning in closer to her, wanting nothing more than to touch her lips to his...

"Jace." she suddenly whispered. "I love you, too, Jace. And I know that you will never leave me. I know."

At that, Jonathan pulled back from her, staring at her, confused, shocked... and angry. Had she just called him Jace? Clary was still looking at him in complete adoration, there was still so much love in her eyes. Her hands stroked his white-blond hair and a soft smile played at the corner of her lips. These lips he wanted to kiss so badly...

Had still something gone wrong when he'd given her the potion? Had he made some mistake?

And suddenly Jonathan knew. He breath was caught in his throat, threatening to choke him. He felt like he was under water, drowning... Suddenly he knew why she had called him Jace... Knew why she seemed to think that he was Jace...

_She will see the truth. Her true feelings will surface right in front of your eyes. You will know who her heart belongs to._

Her heart belonged to Jace. The potion had shown her the truth – not only Clary, for she had known that she loved Jace even before, but him. Her true feelings had surfaced right in front of him indeed. It was Jace who her heart belonged to. It was him who she loved. That was the truth. The truth Jonathan had been so determined to push as far away from himself as possible, the truth he had thought could be nothing more than a lie. His sister being confused because she did not want to admit to herself that she belonged with Jonathan. That she loved _him _and not Jace.

But now he realized that he had been the delusional one after all. That Clary had never loved him the way he loved her... That there was nothing for her to admit...

His heart shattered into thousands of pieces. Only a moment ago he had felt so happy, so content... And now he wanted to smash things against the wall, wanted to kill and to destroy... What he was feeling must have been mirroring on his face because suddenly Clary was concerned. She cupped his face in her hands, looking at him worriedly. "What is wrong? Why are you looking at me like that all of a sudden? Did I do something wrong?"

Jonathan looked down at her again, swallowing hard. He knew that it was not _him _she was concerned for. He wondered how the potion was working inside of her... If she thought that he was Jace, if she really saw Jace leaning above her... And still Jonathan couldn't push back his desire now that he was looking at her again, feeling her body pressed against hers. Even though she had just called him Jace, even though knowing that Clary wasn't aware with whom she was laying in bed right now, did not make his desire to touch her, to kiss her, to be close to her fade.

At the same time, though, thinking about how she imagined him to be Jace made him sick to the core of his entire being. He had thought that, the next time when his sister and he got together, the next time they would kiss, it would not be because of him forcing her into doing so. He had thought that it would be because both of them wanted it.

But she did want it. She might not know that it was actually him with her now instead of Jace... But she _wanted _to be kissed by him. And even if Clary did not yet feel the way he wanted her to feel about him, he could still make her. He could teach her to love him the right way, the way they were supposed to love each other. They way things were meant to be.

Maybe she would even change her mind about him after they'd spent this night together. Maybe she would realize how good it felt, being with him, once she would wake up in the morning and find him lying next to her, holding her in his arms, instead of Jace. When she would remember how it had felt, being touched by him, being loved by him... And Jonathan would make sure that she would enjoy it.

He took a deep breath and tried not to think about that she imagined him to be Jace, that she thought she was seeing Jace when she looked at him with such affection and love in her beautiful green eyes. "Nothing's wrong, love." he said softly before leaning down closer to her once again. "Everything's fine."

And that was when their lips touched. Jonathan couldn't even think straight anymore. As soon as his lips touched Clary's, it felt like a spark had ignited his whole body... He was in flames and he didn't care. He loved it. Clary reacted to his kisses, she was kissing him back with such passion, her hands gripping at his hair... It felt so good. It was the best he had ever felt. Jonathan's hand slid over her side, up to her chest, touching her right breast through the fabric of her shirt, stroking it lightly.

He heard Clary suck in a surprised breath. Obviously, she hadn't done these kinds of things with Jace yet.

Jonathan's hand slid back to the hem of her shirt, pulling it up impatiently. Clary's hands were on his back now, stroking it, her hands gripping at the fabric of his shirt. Jonathan pulled away from her for a moment then, sitting up and pulling his shirt over his head. When he looked down at Clary, he thought that he saw something inside her green eyes change for the fraction of a second.

But before he could even think about it, she had pushed herself up to lock her arms around the back of his neck once again, pulling him back down on the bed with her. Their lips met again, more fiercely and passionately this time. Everywhere where her hands touched his naked skin, she seemed to leave burn marks. Jonathan wanted to take his time. He wanted to make love to his sister tonight, but he did not want to rush things. He wanted her to enjoy it, to feel good and happy when she woke up in the morning to realize that he was not Jace...

His lips moved along her jawline then, before he placed soft kisses on her neck. Clary pulled her head up, exposing her neck for him to caress it. She was still wearing her shirt and Jonathan was tugging at it forcefully. She let him take off her shirt willingly and for a moment, both of their breaths coming out in gasps, Jonathan could do nothing more than stare at her, take in her beauty. She was lying underneath him in her bra. She looked so incredibly beautiful that he could not look away. He did not want to.

"Clary..." he breathed her name before his lips touched the soft skin of her neck once again, feeling her pulse beating under his lips. His hands slid over her stomach, stroking the soft skin there and he felt her hands touching his white-blond hair. Jonathan was completely lost in what he was doing... Kissing Clary, touching her... He forgot everything that was happening around himself. All that was still existing was her, her body, her hands in his hair... Clary... There was no one more important than her, no one more special and wonderful and beautiful...

He didn't realize that her breaths had stopped coming out in gasps. He didn't realize how she had pulled her hands away from his hair.

He didn't realize at first how her whole body tensed under his. He only realized it when it was too late. Jonathan looked at Clary again, for a moment he even wanted to ask her if something was wrong. But his breath caught in his throat when he saw the way she was looking at him – shock written all over her face on which he had seen so much love and contentment only a second ago. Her eyes widened in fear.

Before Jonathan could do anything to stop her, before even expecting it, Clary started screaming.

* * *

When Jace, Alec, Isabelle and Magnus arrived in Central Park, everything around them was still – almost too still, Jace thought. They had left Simon waiting for them in the van. Although Isabelle had tried to talk him into driving away, at least back to Magnus' apartment to wait for them there, he had insisted on staying. He would wait for them in the van so they had a quick way to flee when they had found Clary and got her back.

It wasn't the mundane Jace was concerned about now, though. He was looking around himself as they were following Magnus through the park, down to a pond. "It's right over there." the warlock said, though he seemed to be wary himself, as if he expected that they would be attacked at any second. "We have to go into the water and stand in the light of the moon before we...-"

His last words were swallowed by sudden noises around them. "What is that?" Alec asked, fear sounding in his voice.

Though no one needed to answer him. All around them, figures appeared... A dozen of them... They were fairies, knights from the Court of the Seelie Queen. But not only fairies, Jace realized. Demons were among them as well. There were at least twenty-five or thirty of them, maybe even more. They were hopelessly outnumbered and the way to the entrance to the Seelie Court was still too far away...

They would have to fight their way inside.

"There's too many of them." Isabelle said, looking around herself frightened. "I have never heard of demons fighting alongside fairies. What the Seelie Queen has done... She has broken the Accords." She held a Seraph Blade in her hands, as well as Jace and Alec, while blue sparks were shooting from Magnus' fingers.

"I don't think that they're caring much for the Accords right now, Iz." Jace said softly, though not even once did he look away from their enemies who were coming closer to them, circling around them.

Jace would never have expected what happened next. Fairies and demons alike rushed up to them, tearing their formation apart. Jace didn't have any other choice but to flee the opposite direction from the pond or else a horde of demons would have overwhelmed him. He didn't know where Alec, Magnus and Isabelle were, but they weren't behind him. The fairies and demons had probably chased them somewhere else.

Maybe this was what they had wanted to achieve from the start. Parting them, making sure that they would loose each other... Making sure that they would be too far away from one another to help. When he took a fast glance behind himself, he couldn't even see them anymore. All he was seeing was darkness and all he heard were the hissing noises of demons in the distance. Jace was on his own now.

And he didn't even want to think about what might be happening to Isabelle and Alec. And Magnus.

And Clary. She was still somewhere in the Seelie Court and he was here in Central Park, being so close to her and yet too far away.

But he couldn't get to Clary if he did not fight the demons and fairies. He needed to fight himself a way to the pond so he would get to the entrance of the Seelie Court. Jace looked around himself, slashing at one of the demons with his Seraph Blade who had wanted to jump at him, attack him. The demon hadn't been too strong – or very bright, for that matter – so it dissolved immediately when Jace had pierced through it with his Seraph Blade.

Isabelle had been right, though. There were too many of them. Even too many for him, the best Shadowhunter of his generation, to flight on his own. Jace slashed at another demon, but in exactly that moment the demons and fairies pulled back from him, making room for someone, for something...

"What the hell...?" Jace whispered, looking around himself.

A woman appeared in the darkness, approaching him. When he saw that she had snakes for eyes, Jace moved a few steps back, startled and shocked. He knew who she was. Of course he knew. He had heard from Clary that Jonathan was working together with her, that she was the demon who had given Valentine Morgenstern the blood he'd fed Jonathan.

She was the demon who had killed his mother. Sucked the life out of her.

The demons formed a semi-circle around them while the fairies vanished into the darkness. Jace noticed that not even a single one of the demons was attacking him anymore. That woman – Lilith – seemed to keep them from doing it.

She looked at him now, smiling viciously.

"I'm so glad we finally meet, Jace Herondale. It was about time, don't you think?"


End file.
